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  • he's made a mess except the guy.

  • And welcome to Human Simulator.

  • You could see a beautiful picture of my family on the wall who all look Devilishly handsome on my little bobble head.

  • Weighs everything the exact same.

  • I think this is a game where I have to learn how to become human.

  • I love humans, I'm sure do.

  • OK, handy jobs.

  • Jar named Hugh Man.

  • It's very clever.

  • Very clever joke.

  • Okay.

  • Should I do this?

  • How do we do this?

  • How do we start it?

  • Okay, let's do this retort.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • That's how I become human.

  • That's how you know it's a really human.

  • Whenever you're walking around, you're doing this.

  • You're like that's a human because no robot or alien would be that fucking stupid.

  • Okay, what do we have to do?

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • I have to say yes.

  • This is my head.

  • Move!

  • Oh, no.

  • God!

  • What do I do with this?

  • Look at the fluffy bunny now.

  • Okay?

  • I am very smart, human.

  • All right.

  • Sign here to certain I want to do my job.

  • Human.

  • I'm gonna become a handy man.

  • It's easy to be a human.

  • I do it every day.

  • Poorly.

  • This is how humans D'oh!

  • Yeah.

  • Is that what you do when you go out in the street?

  • To show that you're a human with somebody walks by and goes, Yo here when you go, Okay.

  • Ah, you must be Mr Mind.

  • Yes.

  • Oh, God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Yeah, it is wonderful.

  • I've been looking forward to meeting you.

  • You seem like one of the most promising candidates.

  • Yeah, I didn't have any trouble finding the interview room, I hope.

  • No, no, no, no, no, I didn't.

  • Did you start by telling me some of your strength, Mr Man?

  • Yes, I have money.

  • Strengths.

  • I wanted to cheer on Horn.

  • I see.

  • Humble.

  • That's exactly what we're looking for here.

  • Handy jobs.

  • Tell me, how did you hear about this position?

  • Um Oh, shit.

  • Oh, yes.

  • Is there anything else I can do?

  • Oh, God, he's looking at you right now.

  • He's looking dead in your eyes and he wants an answer.

  • How do I answer?

  • I think the tutorial all it did was teach me howto look up and down.

  • Oh, phone.

  • I learnt interview from phone.

  • Big brain.

  • Mr.

  • Men, where do you see yourself in five years from now.

  • 10 years.

  • Don't say doing your wife.

  • Don't say doing your wife.

  • Don't say doing your wife, Uh, on the beach retires early retirement because I'm so good at my job, I'll be able to retire early.

  • And you could just pay me all the daughters that you want.

  • $10.20 dollars, even.

  • I'll be Arabic.

  • What is your least favorite aspect of this industry?

  • I'm looking right at it.

  • It's you, Mr Interview man.

  • It's you.

  • It's these meetings.

  • Meetings are boring as fuck.

  • Um, Ceiling.

  • I hate ceiling.

  • I ate radio.

  • I turned that only fucking mind cabinets.

  • Yes, me Aid cabinet, brain flow night goodly because blood flow caught off from neck twist.

  • Let me just re sent her there for a second.

  • If you found out your company was doing something against the law like fraud, what would you do?

  • Yes, Nothing.

  • That could be a very waste decision.

  • Insider trading?

  • Yes.

  • Oh, this said if you were in my position, which of these candidates would you select work at our company?

  • Uh, no.

  • That guy's too hairy.

  • You want you want You want this guy?

  • This guy stream light.

  • No hair on head like me.

  • Bald mean, less pressure.

  • Brain.

  • Get out!

  • Yes.

  • Are you able to keep a level head under pressure?

  • What's this?

  • I did it.

  • Oh, it's halfway, Mr Man.

  • Ready to continue?

  • Oh!

  • Oh, hey!

  • Interviews!

  • Ah, yes.

  • Off the fucking radio.

  • It's going to head off now.

  • This is interviewed music.

  • Have you ever been to an interview where they played this music?

  • No, because they're boring.

  • If you knew one of your coast work colleagues with stealing small amounts of officers place, would you report them?

  • Yes, I would do the same.

  • Good to know we're on the same page.

  • I am a sing this interview.

  • Would you give me the job?

  • I would give me the job right now.

  • Who are our main rivals here at Handy Hobbs, Inc.

  • Handy hubs, Honey Jobs.

  • A big building corporation, man.

  • Correct Those damn bastards over Jack offs.

  • All trades.

  • They've been dragging down a profit.

  • Sir.

  • Month off.

  • Fucking jackoff jokes write themselves.

  • Tell me, Mr Man, who is this company's CEO?

  • Uh, I don't know.

  • Is that you?

  • You?

  • That's right, Mr Man.

  • It's me.

  • Now Tell me I'm a sing this interview.

  • How many interviews you go into when they're like, OK, so how do you see yourself fitting into our current economical establishment on DDE?

  • If you feel yourself starting into a certain region, how much does an elephant way?

  • You're like what they ultimately want to become here in Handy Jobs, Inc.

  • Um, water.

  • I want to become water.

  • I want to become employee of the month, our top employees.

  • Ambitious.

  • I like that.

  • It's been a while since of Indra.

  • Interviewed someone like that.

  • Let me tell you.

  • Okay, I'm your man.

  • I'm your Hugh.

  • Matt, Don't confuse me with my cousin Hugh.

  • Janis.

  • It's very unfortunate.

  • And every one of your personal pet peeves, Mr Man, um phone call phone Are your phone or rather not being able to escape technology?

  • I see phone by job guides me work money, get dollar capitalists.

  • But problem to cross.

  • Tch, This is just the prequel to that game.

  • What was the name of the game?

  • The lunch game Crimes.

  • What problem?

  • I know exactly how you feel these days.

  • It often seems like some of us are more robot than human.

  • That's very deep of you, Hugh.

  • Thank you.

  • That's very deep of Hugh.

  • Still little interview joke there.

  • Come on, mister Man, laugh.

  • You are prepared to work a 70 hour week?

  • Yes.

  • Really?

  • That's good to know.

  • Most people say the opposite, knowing that they're never going to get paid for the extra hours.

  • I like you, Mr Man.

  • Are you gonna performing difficult test for extended periods of time?

  • Yes, If you say so.

  • You If you say so.

  • I'll be here all week.

  • And, Lassie, are you good at spotting someone who isn't quite what they see, Mr.

  • Man?

  • Like a person who was trying to hide something from you?

  • Yes, my big alien, bright human brain.

  • Good at spot irregularity.

  • One last question.

  • Okay.

  • Is there anything more you'd like to tell me before we finish?

  • No.

  • Well, in that case, Mr Man is my delight to inform you that I think you'd fit in perfectly around here.

  • The job is yours.

  • Welcome toe.

  • Handy jobs.

  • I get it.

  • It's hand job.

  • I smiled.

  • I got the job.

  • You proud of me?

  • I am.

  • You mad?

  • I can do man with the bass is, um that's an angry face, though It looks like Jason, stay for Oh, you've been stapled.

  • Wow.

  • My very first trophy at my job.

  • Yes, I got I got the money in a briefcase.

  • That is a fucking giant hand or a tiny briefcase.

  • All right, I got the job.

  • Now.

  • The next one is crane operator required skills and trades, levelheaded.

  • Got it.

  • Good control.

  • Ding fine motor skills.

  • Look who you're talking to.

  • I'm a gamer.

  • Explosion of verse.

  • That's not really me, but I'm up for the task, you man.

  • Time to goto work.

  • Time to make all the big books.

  • I don't want to make work look easy.

  • I'm about to put the fun back into work.

  • Can't spell work without fun loving community.

  • All you need to do a good job is a positive attitude on a chicken neck.

  • All right, what do I do?

  • You?

  • Can you hear me there, mate?

  • Uh, sure can.

  • There did.

  • Laurino.

  • Oh, yes.

  • Oh, God.

  • Oh, God.

  • Oh, God.

  • Oh, God.

  • Keep your keep your new snack on there by an actual alien.

  • Maybe I'm the goose from title goose game.

  • Try to become a human good.

  • Seems like that's working just to confirm I'm coming through loud and clear.

  • Look at the cabin camera for me.

  • Would you die?

  • The great seems like that's all working to.

  • I'll be watching you from that camera.

  • So if you have any issues, let me know.

  • We'll do.

  • Okay, Let me just refresh you on the controls real quick.

  • Look at that.

  • Stick down your right, will you?

  • That's the main control stick that sends the Charlie back and forth along the jib, and she allows you to rotate the camera.

  • All right.

  • No butter tall.

  • That one controls the trolleys motor.

  • Unless you raise and lower the magnet, you need both of the east to control.

  • The crane is a hole already.

  • Lastly, there's your modern.

  • Turn it on and see if it's working free.

  • It looks fine.

  • Taba, Rudy There.

  • Navarino talking school.

  • I could send info through that.

  • Monitors keep an eye on her from time to time.

  • Oh, if you've ever having trouble at the controls, you gonna get the instructions.

  • Support.

  • Okay, Got it.

  • Oh, God, no.

  • I control hands independently.

  • Oh, fuck.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • I'm a fucking natural at this.

  • Can you see the red crate with a large white cross?

  • You, uh, Yes.

  • God, it's hard being a human.

  • It's her control.

  • All of this mess.

  • Get up in the morning.

  • I'm like, Oh, God, another one.

  • Fuck.

  • Go ahead and pick it up.

  • Using the magnet.

  • Okay.

  • Oh, God.

  • Okay, this is gonna be fucking tricky.

  • S s X tricky.

  • Lauren, down there.

  • You okay?

  • Did I get it?

  • What's missing?

  • Oh, I have to write, like, Okay, there we go.

  • All right, up she gets Find that bike is good.

  • Work easy.

  • Uh, no puppet over the slight will be waiting verte bit later.

  • Puppet over to decide.

  • Oh, I can't.

  • I'm a regular.

  • You a man.

  • I know how work.

  • All right, you need You need this.

  • ERM, at a lad, being a fucking human is easy.

  • Why do people complain about it all the time?

  • Perfect.

  • I feel like it was an easier way of moving that, though.

  • I said I haven't get a whole crane to you right now.

  • I'm just a human.

  • All right.

  • So I need to look for I see it already.

  • I see it already.

  • It showed up in the monitor, for sure.

  • Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

  • Yes.

  • I have to use.

  • Oh, God.

  • I'd use the torch screen.

  • What?

  • Got it.

  • Who might God, is this where the humans do it?

  • This is amazing technology.

  • Sick.

  • All right.

  • Combination of crates.

  • Incoming!

  • Don't you even worry about it, Chief.

  • Know that throw?

  • It's the chief.

  • It's all fucked already.

  • Okay, so you bring that down.

  • Look, okay, We're going for this.

  • Who?

  • I didn't know I could knock them over A ll.

  • God, we're going for this bad boy right here.

  • Yeah, that a boy.

  • Good man.

  • You all right?

  • But this right here, true.

  • There's what?

  • What was the next one?

  • You use your fucking hand there for a second day.

  • Go!

  • So now we need toe blue one with Don.

  • Decide.

  • OK, I know where it is.

  • Nor it is.

  • Don't even don't even fear, folks.

  • Here it is.

  • Plunk!

  • I never want to hear anybody complain about being human again.

  • Goodbyes?

  • All right.

  • And the last one then is just this one over here.

  • Wait!

  • Hold up.

  • Become so efficient at this.

  • No, too efficient Shit.

  • Perfect.

  • You know what?

  • I better than most people at this job?

  • All these other people you don't even pay me pay me in.

  • Just nice compliments.

  • Okay.

  • I need to pick this one up.

  • I got him almost there already.

  • Beautiful.

  • Easy.

  • Oh, God.

  • Easy does it.

  • Easy does it.

  • There.

  • Easy does it.

  • There.

  • You, you You can the fuck down Did it right now we get the the lovely one over here.

  • That looks like that Swiss flag.

  • Danish flag.

  • Everyone's flags in the world were just like, Hey, can I copy your homework?

  • Yeah, but try to make it look a little different.

  • They were like, Okay, whatever.

  • All right.

  • What next, Mr Man?

  • Let me do it.

  • Next truck should be here any second.

  • Give us a nod when it turns up.

  • Okay, So you actually want a nod?

  • Got it.

  • God, I'm gonna get a goose neck ready.

  • Look, Like Bob the builder, Right.

  • There it is.

  • There you go.

  • Not not.

  • This is a very efficient establishment.

  • I love working here.

  • Carefully find a white crate with a shade de el tino and sons logo on the ship.

  • You may need to move some other crates to get it.

  • Oh, say less, Fam.

  • Here we go.

  • Yeah.

  • Move, move!

  • Holy fuck!

  • Everything's good.

  • Everything's good.

  • True.

  • Is that it all?

  • Find a white crepe au Oh, that makes a lot more saints.

  • Okay, Just get all these out of the way first.

  • Excuse me.

  • Excuse me.

  • Pardon me.

  • Pardon me.

  • Yes, I got it.

  • Chief.

  • Frye.

  • Madonna hit.

  • Rise up.

  • Yeah, it was perfect.

  • You have never seen efficiency and speed like this in a human before.

  • I just shut up.

  • If you fucking rat me out, I'm gonna come to your house, okay?

  • And that might sound nice, because you think Oh, Jack and come over and have, like, biscuits with my mother.

  • No.

  • I'll make it a living hell.

  • I'll tell your mother what you been up to.

  • I know all the secrets.

  • Hold on.

  • I gotta put this down.

  • There we go.

  • Nailed.

  • It cannot be the last one to die.

  • I want to go.

  • The last truck should be here.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • As long as they don't kill anyone.

  • Oh, dark ends all back from lunch break and you'll return to blend in with them before we do anything further with the crane.

  • I'm sending you the security footage from the cameras.

  • Cycle through and see if anyone looks like a dirty rat.

  • Oh, no.

  • Is it me there?

  • I don't recognize him at all.

  • That must be our guy.

  • What is?

  • What's different about this one?

  • This one right here, I saw there's one.

  • There's one right here.

  • What's wrong with him?

  • Look, I'll level with you here.

  • We're in serious breach of a bunch of safety regulations and we can't take another hit from these guys.

  • I know you're new here.

  • It's on your first date, But take him out.

  • I don't know who he is.

  • He's gonna get little handing to stick here again.

  • Um, okay, I'm looking for a guy that looks like every other guy.

  • Let's just grab a crate.

  • Let's just turn more lights down.

  • Was that him?

  • I guess that's not him.

  • What?

  • Murders?

  • Fun.

  • Let's just keep killing people until it works.

  • This guy here looks awfully suspicious hanging out in his own there.

  • I got him.

  • Fourth time's the term.

  • All it takes is to kill a little murder, murder a few debtors to kill a few people.

  • And then it's fine.

  • No one's gonna call anybody.

  • What are we going to do that assure that mongrel I have a clean up crew put together, so I'll have a little cleanup crew put together.

  • So what say we just keep this between you and me?

  • Haul butt?

  • That sounds okey day to me, Captain.

  • All right, now that's taken care of.

  • Just one truck left to deal with.

  • Just give me a sec.

  • You okay?

  • Let me just put this down.

  • I don't wanna murder anybody else.

  • Something wrong with this Joker's gearbox?

  • So essentially, he is unable to stop his truck.

  • We have to get creative.

  • Load up a green crate for him on the flight.

  • Load the broken truck with any green crate from the shipment with white Americans if you miss him and have him coming back around so you can try again.

  • Oh, God.

  • All right, we're gonna have to thread a needle on this one here, guys.

  • Don't worry.

  • Just regular old human Jack Septic guy here, ready to do work?

  • Just regular old Hugh man, I'm ready.

  • I'm ready.

  • I'll just drop it.

  • Drop it like it's hot.

  • Here we go.

  • Here we go.

  • Here we go.

  • Boo!

  • But being better, baby, fantastic.

  • You're one hell of an operator, kid.

  • Solid day's work, maybe You should come back full time, eh?

  • Okay, I leave there.

  • Yes, way Didn't.

  • I did it.

  • I'm so good.

  • Wait a second.

  • There's some guys left.

  • A life.

  • They're gonna talk.

  • I got him.

  • That guy was fucking octo, Dad, is that he was locked in that he wasn't fucking octo that okay and shift another day, Another job.

  • Another 5 to 7 people killed all the day's work of a human.

  • Look at it.

  • Look at that beautiful trophy.

  • This is my trophy for murder ology and murderer on a me is actually a sick trophy.

  • 88.

  • Does that mean?

  • Is there one in the bottom of this 37?

  • All right, well, that does it for this episode of Human Simulator.

  • I'm glad that you all learned how to be a human here today.

  • Maybe you could be a bit more civil towards one another and stop.

  • You know, just just stop.

  • But whenever anybody asks you a question anymore, you know, you do stay silent and look around the room and things and just just bob on your way to victory.

  • So don't forget Thio.

  • Tilt your head down to the like Horton.

  • And also tilted over to subscribe because we upload videos every single day.

  • At least I tried to, but this humans going to go do some or human stuff.

  • Peace out cards against humanity deck underneath his desk.

he's made a mess except the guy.

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A2 初級

人類模擬器 (Human Simulator)

  • 6 0
    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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