APPLAUSE

Shazza! Darling!

Darling! Yes.

Darling, it's an absolute pleasure to see you. How are you?

I am so good. I'm so happy to be here.

Well, you look amazing, as always... Thank you. ..Sharon.

Doesn't Sharon look almost extraordinarily well?

APPLAUSE

What about your phone, Sharon?

Because, of course, you're here to play Send To All.

You'll soon be handing me your mobile phone. Mm-hm.

How does that make you feel?

Nice...

We've played this with about 50 celebrities

and everyone's normally terrified.

Why?

Well... Oh, you'll find out.

Do you not know the game?

LAUGHTER

I think the sooner we get her phone down the better for all of us,

especially this TV show.

Sharon, if you'd like to place your phone into the present

and I'll bring that down, if you don't mind.

Excuse me, Lynnie.

Excuse my bum here.

Thanks, Shaz.

OK, so, if you're sitting comfortably,

here we go.

WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS PLAYS

Very good.

APPLAUSE

I am now in possession of Sharon Osbourne's mobile telephone!

APPLAUSE

Oh, thank you, Sharon.

Thank you, Michael. Thank you.

OK, I'm going to plug this in here and there it is!

It's Sharon Osbourne's mobile phone, ladies and gentlemen.

APPLAUSE

Now, I've been following you for many years.

We're obviously big fans of yours.

So, you have, erm...

You have...

..a new face?

Ish.

When was this face?

August.

So this is your new face from August? Yes.

Well, I have to say, it's an amazing face.

APPLAUSE

Your face is getting a round of applause.

It's fabulous work!

Well done. Congratulations.

I'm getting a bit nervous now.

I'm getting a bit hot.

Because what are you going to text on there? No, don't feel hot.

No, I just...

I'm just going to send a fun text,

which may reference the face thing,

because that's something that you're very known for

and it's really worked out for you.

OK. If anybody was picking a new face, they'd go,

"I'll have the Sharon."

All right? I just wanted to...

Thank you. ..make sure you were comfortable

with the fact that there's only love coming from my direction

with regards to your latest...

Face. ..August face.

Thank you.

So, the text I'm going to send into Sharon's mobile telephone

is as follows...

"Hi, darling."

Now, you'd start a text with "Hi, darling", wouldn't you?

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. It's a very good start and in keeping...

With me. ..with you.

My plastic surgeon...

LAUGHTER

..has offered me...

..a free...

..face-lift...

..voucher...

..to use before...

..Christmas...

..as I am...

..his most...

..loyal customer.

But... This is good, this is good news.

..I think my current face...

Oh, no, you're not. ..should get me through...

..until...

LAUGHTER

..at least Easter.

So...

..I thought...

..it could be...

..my present...

..to you.

APPLAUSE

In fact...

MICHAEL CHUCKLES

..the last time...

..I saw you...

Oh, no! Oh...

..I nearly suggested it.

Oh, my Lord! You're being asked to contort your face in ways...

It's not been tested like this yet.

It hasn't. It's not fair!

Fancy a new face...

..for Christmas?

OK.

And I think we should probably throw some emojis in there,

don't you think?

Christmas tree emoji. Anything else you think would fit?

AUDIENCE SHOUT OUT

A doctor, that's a very good idea.

OK, let's go with the doctor and the Christmas tree. How...?

Do you sign texts? I usually put something like "big kiss."

You'd just put a big kiss.

Just B-I-G, spell it.

Oh, you write it? "Big kiss"? "Big kiss." All right, OK.

Shall I send that into Sharon Osbourne's mobile phone?

AUDIENCE CHEER

Well, that text, ladies and gentlemen, has gone!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And we will be finding out later in the show what replies Sharon gets,

but, please, what a wonderful sport she is,

the absolutely fantastic Sharon Osbourne,

ladies and gentlemen! What about that!

OK.

It is time to catch up with what replies Sharon Osbourne has

received from the text message I sent into her phone earlier tonight.

Everyone is taking it in very good spirits,

other than your beloved husband...

..who has... You haven't told him you're here, have you? No, no.

LAUGHTER

Ozzy has FacedTimed eight times.

Are you joking with me?

Oh, God, Ozzy's FaceTiming right now. He's not!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Press it! Say hello.

AUDIENCE WHOO

APPLAUSE

Ozzy, it's OK! I'm with Sharon, you don't have to worry.

She's up here.

Ozzy! I love you.

AUDIENCE: Aw...

You OK, Ozzy?

Where's he gone?

I'm quite convinced, Sharon, that Ozzy will probably FaceTime again.

He's now digesting what just happened. Yes, yes.

I think he thinks he got the wrong number because he saw me,

then he saw 2,000 people, then he saw you in the distance

in this very Christmassy scene...

Agh! Ozzy!

No!

FaceTime...

FaceTime failed. OK.

OK, let's try and get through the texts. OK.

Let me remind everybody what the text was,

and I put good money on Ozzy FaceTiming before I get

to the end of it, so I'm going to go as quickly as I can.

The text I sent into Sharon's phone earlier tonight,

which has very, very much concerned Ozzy...

..is...

So, that text went out into your phone.

Let's go through some of the responses.

So, we can start with Rylan. Is that the Rylan that we know and love?

Yes. Oh, brilliant.

"Babe, we've got the same surgeon!

"I was going to offer you my one!"

You see, Sharon, it's fun!

OK. Jonah Wilson. Who's that?

SHE CHUCKLES

Who's Jonah Wilson?

He's the son of one of the Beach Boys.

Oh! Yeah.

# Good, good, good, good vibrations! #

Yes.

"Sharon..." Yes?

This is what he's saying. Oh!

LAUGHTER

"Sharon," eight exclamation marks. "I miss you." Oh, he misses you.

"Can the voucher for the face-lift be traded in for liposuction?

"I need to prioritise!"

He wants it! Bless him.

Angelica CBS. Who's that?

Oh! Ooh...

Oh, no. Does she work for the network CBS? Yes.

She's the head of daytime at CBS. She's head of daytime at CBS.

Oh, she's been actually quite fine with it.

"That's a very generous offer, Mrs O,

"but I don't think I'm quite ready for my first face-lift.

"However, when I am, I would love the info of your surgeon."

Carnie... Whoa. Carnie Wilson. Who's Carnie?

Another Wilson child.

You know the whole family! Yes, yes, yes.

She's texted "Oh, my God" in capitals. "Sharon!" all in capitals.

"I don't even know what to say. I'm about to faint.

"I am so flipped out by this. Of course I will go see him!"

LAUGHTER

"I don't even know what to say!

"I'm speechless. Thank you SO MUCH!

"How could you do that for me?!"

I think you're going to have to get Carnie

some plastic surgery sharpish.

Carnie is so thrilled!

You were worried about upsetting people!

She's in the mirror right now going, "Bye!

"See ya!"

I've got to be honest,

Sharon, I was not expecting people to be up for this.

The idea was to sort of gently offend them.

There's a queue!

Oh, my Lord!

Um...Lady C.

AUDIENCE: Ooh...

LAUGHTER

"Dearest Mrs O,

"I am truly touched by your most generous offer

"but it's only been a few months since my last lift.

"And if I have another one now I might end up...

"..with a beard...

"..if you get my drift.

"I have to say, I did love the silk dressing gown you gave me last year.

"Now, that was a fantastic present.

"Why don't you offer the plastic surgery to my ex?

"I'm sure he would appreciate it."

OK. It's all getting a little bit tense.

Oh, finally, we land on somebody who actually needs it.

Piers Morgan.

LAUGHTER

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

"No, thanks. God gave me natural beauty for a reason."

AUDIENCE GROAN

"Sorry his generosity ran out with you!"

SHOCKED GROANS

OK. Ozzy's FaceTiming.

LAUGHTER

Merry Christm-a-a-a-s!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You all right, Oz? No.

What are you doing, Ozzy? I'm so sorry, I'm here with Sharon.

We're just having a bit of fun, and there's 2,000 people

want to wish you a merry Christmas!

ALL: Merry Christmas!

Hello.

LAUGHTER

Sharon's up here, she's sending you her love. Miss you.

Tell her not to go too much shopping and run up my credit card.

Too late!

Sorry, Ozzy, I've got her phone and her credit card.

Listen, you'll get that statement in January. Merry Christmas, Ozzy!

Great to see you. Ozzy Osbourne, ladies and gentlemen!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, that has been just so funny and so memorable,

I really hope that you enjoyed the silliness of this game,

because we certainly have. I loved it. Thank you.

Thank you so, so much. Ladies and gentlemen,

what a wonderful, brave sport this Christmas!

The fantastic, the hilarious Sharon Osbourne, ladies and gentlemen!

Merry Christmas!

Thank you, thank you so much.