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  • Thank you, guys.

  • Please, have everybody stand up.

  • We're going to start with a game.

  • Okay?

  • This is called 123 I'm the rhythm master, and you need to keep rhythm with mate.

  • When I say one, you need to go.

  • One, one, one.

  • Well done, guys.

  • You're killing it already.

  • I love it when I say to we need to go.

  • 12 one.

  • No ice.

  • Well done in the last one.

  • What's called 103?

  • You've guessed it when I say three, you need to go train one 11 already.

  • Both done.

  • Now stay up.

  • Stay up.

  • You have mastered that.

  • We need to make a little bit harder.

  • Now.

  • We're gonna do some sequencing.

  • Okay, So they're going to do two, then one and I'm gonna say Ready.

  • Set an ongoing.

  • We're going to do that.

  • A case or two, then one Ready, set.

  • Go.

  • I know.

  • It's like, let's make it a little bit harder again.

  • This time it is gonna be three.

  • Then 23 then two.

  • Okay, Ready?

  • Said go.

  • All right.

  • We're picking the pace up.

  • I like it now.

  • The game is called 1 to 3 for a reason.

  • 123 We're going to do that now.

  • Okay.

  • Ready, Set.

  • Go!

  • Picking up a lot of fights now to finish it off the grand finale.

  • Okay.

  • The Premiership in the I felt the moment is with the Richmond football club.

  • The poise card for their home ground upon right in 3121 You're going to be Premiership superstars today.

  • 3121 Ready said going now.

  • Now, I want you to remember those feelings that you had during that activity because today I'm gonna share a couple of different stories.

  • And the 1st 1 is a pursuit for the 1st 30 years of my life that I had to try and find happiness and ah, thought I was doing it all right.

  • I'm working really hard on chasing all these things and win a little bit like this.

  • All be happy when I finished high school.

  • But have you wanna get university of happy when I get a job?

  • When I get that job on the promotion, they're only happy when a bomb in your car When Abi house, If you're tried listening to that I was tried leaving that dream became what are families each time I reach one of these goals, I wouldn't celebrate.

  • It was on to the next one was delaying gratification.

  • And I wasn't celebrating any winds and I was chasing these goals.

  • These possessions, they studies and the more you do that, it really, really affect your happiness as well as that.

  • Like this cow.

  • He also the grass is greener on the other side.

  • And I was like I was courting offense.

  • Okay, I would judge everyone.

  • Now, let's be honest.

  • When I got up on stage today, you will like, how good is Dale?

  • Just in shorts, matches top.

  • And I could say that I know you're thinking that right now he's great, thank you, but date down off that I feel very happy because I've got odd socks on.

  • But you didn't see that because he's so caught up in what I'm wearing here.

  • So you think I look good?

  • You're judging May, but I don't feel comfortable myself, and that's what I would do to other people.

  • I would judge them.

  • I thought their life was better than mine.

  • I was judging their career, their success, that life, everything like that that was delayed, gratification and then you bring in envy.

  • Now there's a little study done a couple of years ago in America.

  • Now I want to do with you.

  • Would you rather job number one for $50,000?

  • Who would like that?

  • Or would you love job number $200,000 a year?

  • Let's put our hands up.

  • Of course he would, and always, exactly the same.

  • But the second part of that story, I didn't tell you people that were on job number one for $50,000 a year.

  • Everybody else in their job and their life and $25,000 that you all right, So you're only double everybody.

  • You knew the people that were earning $100,000 a year.

  • Everybody in their life and they worked with was earning $200,000 a year.

  • So you only earning half of what everyone else waas.

  • Now those people that we interviewed in that study, over half the people change from $100,000 back to $50,000 I would have done the same because I just wanted to be better than everyone else.

  • I wanted people to think that I was doing better than everyone.

  • And I had that higher status.

  • Now, when you mix delayed gratification, you judging all the time and you are envious of everybody.

  • You do that for 30 years, you become not a very nice person.

  • And today my talk is called narcissistic.

  • Tonight's because no nice name didn't.

  • I wasn't a nice person.

  • And people go tell you went and asked us all the time.

  • And that's right.

  • 95% of the time I was final is great, but that 5% of the time was a narcissist.

  • I would put people down, I would speak down to people, I would judge them.

  • And I would push away the people little close in my life because I didn't feel good in myself.

  • So why should anybody else all right and what I found after 30 years of working my backside off doing all these different things, I was not in a good place.

  • I was anxious of depressed and I hit a roadblock.

  • Sorry.

  • What I want to talk to you about is tonight is we've got old dial here, New Day.

  • Oh, now, how did I go from narcissistic denies.

  • And what did I do?

  • to get that way.

  • All right?

  • The first thing I did as a schoolteacher, I went back to my roots and watching young kids play.

  • They're running around, they're moving, they're interacting this socializing, and they are having fun.

  • Now what happens?

  • The older we get, we finished primary school.

  • We go to high school, lifetime eggs over.

  • We get stressed.

  • We get test.

  • We have to be serious.

  • 13 finish high school.

  • We get a job, we get married, we get a family.

  • What ends up happening is we don't have time to have fun.

  • We don't have time to play.

  • All right, now, I want you to think back to when you're playing that game.

  • 123 with me.

  • Some of you were great.

  • Some of you weren't all right.

  • And that doesn't matter.

  • It's not the point about winning or losing.

  • It's about the feeling you had during that game.

  • Now I want you to think what was going through your head you weren't thinking about Do not feed the cat this morning.

  • What are the kids doing today?

  • Have I paid this month's mortgage because you were so present?

  • It wasn't funny.

  • Now I call this play based mindfulness alright when there is nothing else going on that you are so present.

  • And that is something that we really struggle with in today's life.

  • All right, so for May I needed to get these back in my day when I wasn't feeling well and so I scheduled a playdate every single day.

  • I said, non negotiable.

  • 10 minutes.

  • Every day.

  • I need to do some form of play or some sort of fun.

  • Once I started doing that, I started saying So many different things happen to make a couple of them.

  • I improved my creativity.

  • These things come back to me.

  • They're always loving as a kid as well is that you can say they're at smash?

  • That anxiety that are struggling with a guy as well is that it is a way to build a stronger social circles.

  • So I was getting some of those people back in my loft pushed away.

  • After that, I realized that was helping me a little bit.

  • But there are other things missing.

  • Jump, walk, run!

  • It doesn't matter what it is.

  • I needed to move my body and the busier we get, I didn't have time for it.

  • So I set my alarm 20 minutes earlier each day and the 1st 10 minutes.

  • Non negotiable.

  • No device, nothing.

  • I would simply go for a 10 minute walk by myself around the block.

  • Now that sounds really basic.

  • But for May, when I wasn't in a good place, I'd already had one win for the day.

  • Before the day James started, I'd already had one win.

  • Now that he's amazing, and particularly if the way we're going to society in the last 10 years alone boosted, obesity rate has doubled and the raisin ease, we don't have time.

  • We don't have time to play.

  • We don't have time to move.

  • So set your alarm early and have one win for the day.

  • Now the benefits of exercise, we all know them improve.

  • Slate, improve confidence, energy through the roof.

  • I need more energy, so that was really helping me with that as well.

  • So I was playing now 10 minutes a day and was moving my body and are starting to feel better.

  • But those other one more thing that I need to figure out, and when you're not in a good place, it's really easy to focus on the negatives.

  • What you don't have instead of what you do have all right, so very simple.

  • I wanted to start my day in a positive way.

  • So after I've done my 10 minute war, I simply got my journal and I wrote a question.

  • What am I looking forward to today and are running that for about two minutes?

  • And what that did?

  • It would simply mean that all starting with a positive now, instead of thinking what I didn't have or what I was going to do that I didn't want to do is now focusing on the things that were coming up that I was excited about.

  • I would then go about my day, whatever happened, and I'd finish each day with three simple questions.

  • What are three things I'm grateful for today on what was the biggest we know had today?

  • So again it was thinking about the positive.

  • So I was going to bed in a happy place and all starting the day the right way.

  • And it's amazing when you start putting this into your life, what happens, and we all know the benefits of gratitude.

  • That's easier said than done But for me, the big one there is that it was getting rid of those depressive symptoms because all sinking in the positives are focusing on them.

  • Instead of what?

  • I didn't have a water was chasing and different things like that.

  • Now, as I said, the 1st 30 years in my life, I did some bad things.

  • Okay?

  • I was in a better place now, and I was starting to love myself, but I had pushed people away.

  • Okay?

  • I'm being negative.

  • I've been mean and not affected.

  • A lot of different relationship with family, friends, colleagues, everybody else.

  • For the last thing I needed to do.

  • I needed to get these people back in my life, right?

  • I needed to show them a different side.

  • And kindness is a way to do that.

  • Now, our thought about certain things all like people signed to me.

  • I love it when people say die along proud of you, Dale, I admire you and Dale.

  • I love you are a love certain things about you.

  • So I thought about that and I thought, why don't I put that into a little sequence?

  • All right.

  • So proud and more about love.

  • I call these Sopel message and all right, down 100 people's names, family, friends, colleagues, everything like that.

  • And I set myself a little challenge after our going from a 10 minute walk in the morning.

  • Done my gratitude question would then sit down.

  • And I brought a little message like this.

  • Did I say whoever Please don't feel like you have to reply to.

  • This is just a few things I'd like to say.

  • That would be a paragraph on.

  • I'm proud of you because another one I admire you because in the last one, I love you because and I would send that up so I'd be the first thing that they get in the morning.

  • Now, as you can imagine, I had some pretty interesting calls.

  • I had grown men ringing crying because I never heard anything like that.

  • Other people don't know you're right.

  • What's wrong?

  • What's wrong?

  • You got right.

  • Welcome.

  • Great.

  • I've just told you I love you, right.

  • What it did, though, that really connected with so many different people again that I hadn't had.

  • And the reason being is we don't say these things enough.

  • We wait for a funeral for a special occasion for somebody to be gone to express what they mean to us.

  • All right, So when I finished today, I want everybody in this room to do the same thing.

  • I want you to pick three people in your phone.

  • I want you to write a one sentence to somebody on proud of you.

  • Because since I know why you because sin and I love you because sin right and what that's going to do, it's going to get these big coin, this boomerang, okay?

  • And it's going to hit them and they're going to feel amazing.

  • But then that memory will come back with this huge hit of Oxy toast in the love Drug.

  • And I'll tell you what, that is addictive.

  • We want more of it.

  • Not only that kindness is contagious.

  • The ripple effect will affect so many other people at sort of this room.

  • All right, so for May, I had changed my life.

  • I'd figured things out, and that's when I dedicated time to play every day, to exercise, to practice, gratitude to change my mind, said, and then used some form of cornice and giving.

  • Now today is all about future inside to getting the best out of your future, and I want to leave you with a couple of different things that I've figured out from obviously the 1st 30 years of my life to the last four.

  • Now the 1st 1 is you need tohave fun every single day.

  • It doesn't matter what you're doing.

  • Find out what he's fun for you and Drew that.

  • If that's playing, running, rolling, whatever it is, it doesn't matter if you're looking in that mirror and you're the old line or the young cat.

  • Okay, whatever your reflection is, you need to find that in a child, and you need to have fun.

  • Think of young kids.

  • They have play dates all the time.

  • Mom, Dad, can I have a play date?

  • Cargo to Billy's cargo to Jimmy?

  • Sara's coming over.

  • We need to do that.

  • As adults, you need to set time aside in our crazy busy lives 10 minutes a day, tohave fun to play to connect with others.

  • It is essential second monies and great, quite buzzy eggs Eagle and I love that.

  • People often say that motivation doesn't last well, neither does bathing.

  • That's what the recommended daily now smelling you guys today, you're bait, so thank you very much for that.

  • I do really appreciate it, but it's exactly the same with your health and happiness.