thanks for joining me for this video

now i want to talk about this whole thing of

being nice

and should I be nice or should I be a jerk with women

or should I be a bad boy

and this and that

most people say nice kind of equals

giving lots of presents

trying to sort of like

cajole a girl into liking them

and that really doesn't work

doesn't work for one reason that nobody ever talks about

that seems to be a very important one

and for that i want to ask you something have you ever noticed

two people in the street meeting by accident

and lets say they are work colleagues and when they meet they will be like

they will sort of overcompensate

so they will go

hey how's it going

wow it's good to see you

hi yeah ahh

yeah

and they will both play this game

where they're both trying to reassure each other how much they like each other

but the second day split again

if you follow any of them

very often you notice that

because of this

over-the-top friendliness so i'm so excited to see you afterwards it's almost

like

you can tell that it was a pretend

uh...

session like a pretend moment of

hi I like you so much

when actually i don't

so be very aware that you never

never

get a girl to feel that she needs to pretend

to like you more

then she does

let me say this again be very aware that you never put a

girl in a situation

that she feels the pressure to pretend

to like you more than she does

because what you will get is this

realization in her mind that she's pretending because people always

know when they're pretending

that's the problem with giving a girl lots of things or like being a very

nice

guy that

nothing wrong with nice again i just using it the way other people use it

you know giving

giving a girl girl things making sure that she knows five times a day how

much you like her blah blah

it creates that pressure on her

to be nice back and it doesn't give

attraction

the chance to develop

attraction has to develop

in a pressure

free

vacuum

attraction

isn't a conscious thing that she decides on

attraction is something that

happens

that happens

after she has after it has happened she will notice it

and call it attraction

if she feels

she needs to be nice to you

in order to reciprocate

it's a powerful social mechanism

happens to all of us

somebody's nice to you

we wanna be nice back to them we will be feel the pressure to be

nice back to them

don't use that with women so much so what i would suggest is

be off the wall

you know be a bit outside of the convention

be

make sure

she knows that you how you like her but you don't

need her

or that

that you also tease her enough

to make sure that

she has that

uh...

that tension going on there which doesn't quite know what you want

whether you really

like her that way or whether you just like to hang out with her

important to have that

basically just to help her develop let her develop attraction for you

rather than her feel

that she has to

feel attractive to you otherwise you'll get disappointed or you'll be

frustrated or you know that you will feel that she's cheating you because you

gave her all those presents and took her for dinner and all that stuff

are you with me on this one it's a slightly more subtle slant on this whole subject but

the thing that's really the reason why

why it turns women off

and women are not only attracted to

jerks ok

whoever wants to tell you that

say thank you and move on

to some body who knows their stuff ok

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how to attract women why being to nice kills attraction