Butthen I gottheoutsider's gonnadotheoutsidersofFrancisFordCoppola.
Wheream I gonnagoat a freshmanyearat U C L A u C.
I thinkitshows.
Okay, I amRobLowe, andthisisthetimelineofmycareer.
Myfirstbigjobof 15.
I had a DavidCassidyhair.
D'oh.
AlthoughmybrotherChadlikestosaythat I heardyoulookmorelikeKarenCarpenter's.
It's a look.
I hadmyfirstgirlfriend, andinthesummers I wouldhavetogobacktoOhiotovisitmydadappearanceweredivorced, hadtogoawayforthesummer, and I wassoheartbroken.
Myagentscalled.
They'relike, Yeah, there's a anauditionIfyouwanttopayyourownfareandflybackforit, yes, I'lldoit.
I couldhavecaredlesstheonlyrealreason I camebackbecause I wantedtoseethegirl.
Well, I gotit.
I learned a lotaboutcomedyfromEileenBrennan, whoplayedmymom, andshewasjustcomingoff a privateBenjamin, whereshewasnominatedforanOscar.
Weshot a bunchofshowsandweren't ontheair.
Denilson.
Wewereontheairanddidournextshow.
Andwhen I cameout, thegirlsscreamedintheaudience.
We'vebeenontheaironeweekand I thought, Wait a minute, I'm stillthedweebthatcouldn't get a dateinhighschool.
It's thepowerofentertainment.
Itwas a horriblebomb.
Therewere 62 showsontelevision.
You'relookingatnumber 62 deadlastandthenetwork's bigfixLittleYouturnitononeFridayandtherewas a newfamily.
Livingtheredidn't work.
Buthere's thegoodnews.
ThedaughterJanetJackson, MissJackson.
Ifyou'renastyforwhat?
Brawn.
Nobrains.
Youseemypicture?
Howaboutmyjeans?
I wasstillknewenoughthat I didn't realizehowuniqueitwas.
Coppolahadalloftheactorsauditioningcomeatthesametimeto a soundstagehehadboughtandwewouldallsitonthefloorandwewouldplacecharacters, andthenhewouldsendonedown, havesomebodycomeupandchangecharacters.
Weallwatchedeachotherandthenitwentonlikethis, 12 hours a dayfordays.
I don't knowifthebestactorsgottheparts, but I willtellyouthatforsurethatmostcompetitiveinthetoughestoneskillorbekilled.
I remembergoingoutforHalloweenandseeingmultiplepeopledressedasmycharacter, weirdandawesomebyway.
Theonlyreason I knewwheremycharacteristhat a saxophonearoundtheirnecksin a badwig.
I followed, likeClarenceClemonsaroundfromthe E Streetband.
Usuallyit's wornrighthere, butmine's wornlike a guitarand I canthrowitovermyback.
It's a guitarstrap.
It's hilarious.
It's sogood.
Yeah, thesackscenes.
Myfavorite, I canfakeplaythesaxtothisday.
I'm betteratfakedoingeverything.
WelcometoclubStruckinthechin.
Thankyou, Dido.
Ifyou'd toldmethat I wouldhostSaturdayNightLiveoneday, I thinkitwasthehighlight.
Andfrankly, remains.
Oneofthegreatestcompliments I evergotwasfromMikeMyers.
Yousaidthat I shouldhavebeen a notreadyforprimetimeplayerinAlecBaldwin, and I wouldhavelovedLaurenlikestodescribehosting.
Itisbeingexacting, shotoutof a cannonwhentheadrenaline, whentheyannounceyouandyoucomeoutandit's thaticonicstageandthey'replayingthaticonicopeningmusicintermsofrushes, I don't knowif I'veevertalkedabouttherealcollaborationhadwaswithMikeMyers.
Hewaseithergoingtodo a Wayne's WorldSketchorSprockets, knowsthat I'm not a BigWayne's worldfanwithLittleDienow, and I played a TNthepansexualchoreographeritwasMikeand I hadsuch a goodtimethatwhenhewroteWayne's World, hewrotemeintoit.
Purelybecauseofthat.
I knowthat I maybewastingmytime, buthere I amwiththecontractandtwocashier's checksfor $5000 each.
MikeandDanahadneverbeenin a movie.
Theydidn't knowwheretostandinfrontof a camera.
I'm notkidding.
Impairmentwaslike, Yeah, whatever.
Sure, Laurenhere, somechumpchange.
Youmakeyourlittlewhatever, and I satin a screeningandBohemianRhapsodycameon, andwhentheystartedmovingtheirheadslikethis, theplacewentballisticlike I'veneverseenbefore.
And I rememberlookingatMikeandlookingateachotherandliterallytherestwashistory.
Benjaminwas a really, reallyfuncharacterformetodoandstarted.
Mymanycareeris a goodlookingcomicdick.
I wasjustsoexcited t beallowedtobefunny, andthenisitgrewintoTommyBoyandAustinPowers.
Itwas a chancetouse a musclethat I hadn't had a chanceto.
I meanaboutlastnight, andsandalswerehavecomedyendthem, butthey'renotcomedycomedy.
Soitwas.
Itwasprettyfun.
Yeah, you'refired.
Comeon.
YoubelieveJohnSmithisgettingmarriedtomorrow?
I'm uncreditedinTommyBoyandthefirstAustinWell, youknowheworksas a henchman.
We'redoinganepisodethat's called a fluepisode, getsvery, verysick, andhelooksinthemirrorandsays, StoppoopingAndthat's anadlib.
Andwhen I lookedinthemirrorandadlibbedthat I thinkmakesurewaslikewe'rekeepinghim, thatstaffwasinsane.
It's like 1927 NewYorkYankeesMurderer's row.
Everybodyontheshowis a steroidversionofwhotheyactuallyare.
I dohave a littlebitofenergy, and I amkindofoptimistic, and I amkindofenthusiastic, andtheyjustmainlineit.
Somuchsothatseason's endplayingChris, I wonderifthere's justotherlayerstoChris, there's nonethatChriscouldbeexcitedabout.
Themostmundane, boringthing.
Itjustwas a wellthatneverrandry.
Butnow I aminfectedwiththekillervirus, andifyoufindtherapy, I'vegottogobackhomeand I don't knowwhat I'm supposedtodowithmyself.
Maybeyou'redoingithere.
ThethoughtofgoingtoAfricaandshooting a movielegitimatelyinthewildsofAfricawithrielwildanimalsarenottrained.
They'renotbeingtoldwhattodo.
Doyouwanttoshoot a movieinAfrica?
Don't evenneedtoreadit.
Yes, inbecauseyouknowit's gonnabeanadventure.
And I loveKristinDavis.
Firstofall, shelooksexactlythesame.
She's beautifulandisniceandwonderfulandjust a greatperson.
If I didn't havehaveherthere, I don't knowwhat I wouldhavedonebecauseit's such a specificlifelivinginAfrica, givingyourwholelifetoelephantsandlivingin a tent.