Down and mud.

I don't think I've ever been embarrassed when I spoon soda on me at lunch one time I was bending down to pick up my pencils school, and then when I was bending down, my stomach was hurting.

So when I bet down, it pushed and I farted.

Once at school, I'd had my shoes together and I couldn't get them apart.

I opened the card that wasn't for me, and I had seal it back up with an envelope.

I fell off a scooter and broke my arm.

Someone wounded to me, and I got pushed in the trash.

I was in school and I was running and I fell.

And then I had to keep acting like it didn't happen.

So I just kept running.

One time I left a public restroom with toilet paper coming out of my pants.

When I was in fifth grade, I did a talent show in from my whole school, and I was supposed to be singing and dancing, but I got nervous and froze.

I tripped on my foot and broke my finger by tripping on my foot in my kindergarten recital.

When I got the microphone, instead of saying my line, I decided to say, Mommy, I gotta go pee.

A couple of weeks ago, I was walking down a hill and I tripped and I fell down in front of my entire school, mistaking a random person for one of my friends pulling at the gym in front of a girl group of people.

When I was 10 the coach of our swim clinic was talking to us and I just foul into the when I was on vacation with my ex boyfriend's family and my wig was coming off and no one told you tripping on the train platform one time I was running to try to catch one of those revolving doors, got my feet stuck in it and just fell all the way down backwards.

And I was in first grade.

I peed in a chair, and then I took the chair like this started.

Figure out that so that you couldn't see that I feed in it.

Queefing in a yoga class.

When I was 18 my best friend and I made a plan to go to Spencer's gifts at the mall and buy vibrators.

And while I was reaching for one, a giant black vibrator fell on my face.

I walked the wrong way during my high school graduation.

So one time in middle school I was really bored in my science class and the outlets are on the table, and I, for some reason I took a paper clip.

I stuck it in there.

Sparks are flying, and the and everyone was screaming and freaking out.

That wasn't pretty embarrassing.

So one time I had Thio pee in a cup at a doctor's office, and when I went to give to, the nurse had spilled it everywhere.

I was in a meeting and my foot fell asleep and I tripped in front of everyone and kind of caught myself on a table.

Oh, I fell at the gym.

I was in a production of Oklahoma, and it accidentally went on stage in my flip flops.

My mom arranged my prom date because she didn't think I could get one falling up the stairs.

Coming out of the subway.

When I was a senior in high school, my biology teacher asked the class, Does anyone know what the ring around an earthworm is called, and I raised my hand immediately with total confidence, and he called on me and I said Scrotum.

So it's actually called a cli Tellem and I will never forget that I had a teacher once confiscate a low foam I had written for a boy in my class and read it out to the whole class and then ask who had written it.

Nobody volunteered.

So he collected all of the copy books of the girls in the class and then did what could only be described as the most awful forensic analysis of the handwriting and then was like, Did you write this life form?

Samantha, I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in my life.

Yeah, it's terrible.

When I was in elementary school, I walked out of the rest room with my dress tucked in my stockings, and I don't know how long I was walking around like that until one of my male classmates told me.

So I used to practice cup water and I was wearing a week, and I turned the flute and we came off in class.

My threshold is pretty high.

I don't get embarrassed very easily.

recently walked into a glass partition and left a full face impression from my forehead to my chin of my foundation and my eyebrows and my lipstick on the glass.

My boyfriend and I were watching a basketball game, and I felt a little frisky, so I went to go bite him on his schlong, but his closer on.

So my tooth cracked off on his zipper and flew across the room.

I was running late, and when I went to the supermarket and I felt been going down and that was Commander was working on a movie set.

Um, and one of the actors I thought came from a crossover movie turned out I was just trespassing in his house, congratulating someone on their pregnancy.

When they were pregnant.

I walk down the street with toilet paper, my heels very long time, and it was coming from my comment from a public bathroom.

I came out with tissue paper on my foot.

I fell in front of, uh, there were two cars Navy Blue one contained.

My boyfriend won a random stranger.

I came out and got into the wrong car accidentally leave my purse somewhere and it getting stolen.

I forgot to lock the bathroom on the plane.

I was on a road trip with a friend.

It was 2 a.m. And I had to go to the bathroom very badly immediately.

So I pulled over and as I was pooping on somebody's lawn, the paperboy through the paper up.

So he thumped and I thumped.

I went to the gas station.

When I went to the bathroom, I accidentally stole talk toilet paper and unbeknownst to me, it was under my arm.

And when I checked out, the cashier was looking at me like I was totally a moron.

On my first date with a boy that I was head over heels with, I fell down the steps.

When I was a medical student, I was scrubbed in for a procedure and I kind of passed out.

Had to be escorted out of the room.

That was bad.

There was a day when I was 13 years old in middle school and I was wearing white pants, and I'll leave it at that.

I forgot the name of someone that I dated for two years.

My foot fell asleep in the waiting room when I fell I did not know that the entire back of my pants was split open, revealing my pink underwear.

So when I was in the third grade, we had to wear shorts underneath our skirts to school for gym class.

And on this particular day, when we got ready to go to Jim took my skirt off and I forgot to put my shorts on.

So there I was, standing in my underwear.

Uh, costume I was wearing came down and my one of my breasts was showing on while I was on stage, doing karaoke at a work function and not realizing the meaning of the lyrics.

I was singing until after I had finished singing them.

Nothing, cause I don't take no shit never getting sick in the bathroom and Marshall's.

When I was about 12 I had to walk across the stage in order to demonstrate how to sit properly, and I felt being called four eyes when I was a kid.

That really embarrassed me, that an important point in the play.

I had to run up to the lead and throw my arms around her and promised to never leave her again, and I got carried away and knocked her over.

And then we were both rolling around on the stage and we couldn't get up because we were laughing too hard.

My slipped fell down to, um, the floor saying something nasty about a friend when I thought she had already hung up on the phone.

A slip was showing once beneath the skirt.

When I was in high school, I took swimming as my physical education class, and I don't know how to swim.

I don't get embarrassed.

My Children get embarrassed on my behalf, but I don't.

I used to have a huge crush on Anthony Hopkins.

I followed him one night after a performance to a local bar, and I went to the restroom.

When I came out, he had arrived with his family and friends, and I walked out of the restroom trailing half a roll of toilet paper.

I was in junior high.

I got onstage to be in a talent show to play the piano, and I forgot how what the music Waas walking through a swamp, saying I stink.