字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 really almost got sold into sex slavery in our uber, like, two nights ago. Why? Oh, that's right. He kept saying he liked me. He was like, This guy's funny. Where'd you get it? He was like, You get something for this kid? This kid's good. Just like you could get a You get some good money for a white piece of ass like his podcast. Yo, what's up, you poor little Children? Y'all ready to see my now, Don't you think you need to be true? But I was like, You know what? Your mom's getting tired. We'll give a break. So I went out to the car, check the motherfuckers like it was chuck it. And I know you got nothing changes you get, Tessler. That shit is crazy. Drives itself. I mean, somebody drop myself hard, drive myself crazy. No, seriously. Have a lot of Inter, David. Some work to do it too. Probably shake. Did you get a way to share it? Fuck those. Okay. Okay. So, Shane, you know, not because I have loyalty to Mr Jackson. That is the only jet that I will ever know. What I got is way more pimp way more crazy. It's gonna blow all your riches. How about you? 2000 big T Jurassic Park guys now? I'm just kidding. I'm not an asshole, man. I currently smell like one, but who doesn't during the summer? You know what I mean? People who shower. Yes, I'm in my new car. I'm so excited up. First of all, I'm just gonna keep it real. I'm very sweaty. It is literally 100 20 degrees at my house right now, but you know is like 350 degrees in the bedroom. I don't know who that is. So first, let me just start off by saying yes. I'm aware this car is not boozing. This car isn't even like anybody's dream car except my. I have wanted a green Jeep since I was a kid. I always thought they were so cool. They reminded me of Drastic Park. I wanted to, like, go drive on mountains and like big rocks. That's a lie. I literally just wanted to go through like a Taco bell drive thru and take the fucking roof off and be like, like, that's my dream. And also it might be used, and it might be a few years old and I might have found what looks like a birth stain in the backseat. But it's still my dream. So let me tell you exactly what happened. Because the way it all went down with super random. So I was in Colorado with Ryland visiting his family. And then one night I got extremely drunk with Islands Mob. Here's proof way on why we were drunk. I randomly was like I want a J So we made up this plan like tomorrow. Let's go look for Jeeps and then I'll buy one and I'll drive it home with Ryland. But all of that was like a drunk idea. Like I never thought that that would actually happen. Andan The next morning I was still drunk because of how much alcohol I had the night before. So I still had that idea. So went to the G dealership and we looked around and I saw this baby. I literally took a picture with her before she was even mine. Look how happy this little pig is now. Also just imagine the salesman literally watched me take this picture so confused because it was not my car that would be like if you were in the hospital and you hadn't had your kid yet. And then you saw, like, the baby ward and you pick one up and you're like, I want a selfie with this. Facebook's gonna love this like it's sad. Anyways, I ended up actually buying it, and it was cheaper than my last car, which was a Prius. So this is not like an upgrade like this isn't like you to Monte. This is like a reasonable car for a working mother. But me and my baby had an adventure. I took my baby to target. I took my baby to Del Taco. I took my baby to subway. No, I'm just kidding. I would never fucking do that to my baby. I took her to see some nature. We hated it. I took her to Vegas. We got really drunk. We read about Children being killed while we listen to Esposito. She had a place to hold some chips. A place to hold some dicks. I realized the air fresheners at Bayside. I caught my bay singing to me. The road trip was really fun. Then we got back home and I was so excited to show, you know, the car Because I thought he'd freak out because he'd be like, Oh, my God. I can sit in the chlorine, put my head out the window. You know he didn't get no fucks, you know? Whose car is that? Whose cars that you see here? This is our car. He said no. He said this looks used for is it not a test? Llevo so then we decided to take the roof off. You know, like rugged as men. Then I got way too excited about it. So much dick with you already have a boyfriend. Then I caught a very genuine moment of Cheeto feeling like trash. Then we took this baby on the road, and, you know, I went out to find some finance bitches like real men. Yo, where we going? Way just got yogurt. But don't worry. We got some bitches later. Wait, Did I say we got some bitches I met? We are something that I got caught feeling myself way. Wait. So then the next day, I showed my mom and she had the same reaction. Is May Jurassic thing. My brother had to get his own Jeep and upstage me. I got one too. Then we played with that fucking toy car for, like, two hours because we're fucking Children. Come on. He's putting it on top of the stairs all the way up. Then we started filming like a bunch of slow motion shots of that little toy car, and I'm not gonna lie. Shit was fucked on then. Later, at night, I caught my mom having a very genuine moment of concern for Robin China. They need to be excellent. What time does he have the baby? Okay, I'd like who has a baby. So that was my first week with my baby. But now I feel like it's time for me to give you an actual tour, because that's what you came for. So here we go. All right? Yeah. Welcome to my car. First, I'm gonna start in the front seat, as you can see here, I got my steering wheel. Now, this works really well in the car because, you know, I got to go from lane to Lane. But in real life, I would never need that because, you know, bitches would never swear me. No. Right here. I have this little reminder, you know, to take a break from life because, you know, sometimes I hustle too hard and I need to just stop and smell the money. Now, this right here is some high tech as shit. I got this from Eli must the creator of Tesla's. This technology is not available here on planet Earth. I actually got this from the aliens. No, no, you're thinking, Shane, where do you put your phone When you're driving, you know, you've got to instagram live all the time. I'll show you, bitch. Now you think it Damn! How did you do that? Aliens, bitch. Not right over here. We got this little thing to block the haters. And we got these handles because you know, my driving keeps you constantly shock. Not for real, though. I'm a really bad driver over here. We got this year. I don't really know what this does, but it looks like my dick. Now, this area over here is to grab onto when I fuck you, which is perfect, as you got this one right here. So, you know, you could just get one hand here, One hand here and there's even one back there for your foot. I like to constantly work out, even during sex. Yes, sex is pleasurable. Sewer gains. Now, this is a backseat for all my friends to watch while I fuck that girl in the front would like to have witnesses. You know, just so everything is very clear. Also, I don't know what that is, but it was here when I bought it and that those might be actual fingernail scratches. That's pretty disturbing. Now, back here, I got my trunk and, you know, I got all the crazy shoot. I got a yoga mat. That's not mine. And I got a bunch of water. I'd like to throw it out the window, but all the thirsty bitches that watch me drive by also, I just noticed that. What the fuck is that? Can you actually use this? Are they actually saying you can use this as a boat? Damn killing it on land and in the water. And last but not least, you got my reflection. Wow, that's crazy. You know, when I was a little boy, I used to wonder what I looked like when I grew up. I wanted to be smart, successful I wanted to make my momma proud. I want to be the kind of man that a little boy would want to look up to, you know? And now here I am, talking about my cars and my money on all the holes that fuck. Wow. Oops. This isn't really who I wanted to be. Maybe I should change. Maybe I should start valuing things in life. The matter, like family, friends and my dog. No, Fuck it. So you guys go. That was my new car tour. I hope you enjoyed it. And I'm just really excited. I literally have wanted this car since I was a kid. So this is a huge deal for me, and I can't wait to take her on adventures and Tank. You guys with us. All right, you guys, if you like this video and you want more weird random videos like this, give me a thumbs up. So I know how to make sure Just started channeling the notification about because I make videos every fucking day. And if you want to see my house tour or any of my weird like tour, videos are peddling to a playlist, Right? The top inscription. Blue eye. Right, You little Children. How see you tomorrow.