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  • OK, I have a question for all of us.

    譯者: Pei-Chen Benson Liu 審譯者: Helen Chang

  • You ready?

    我問大家一個問題

  • Is all winning success?

    準備好了嗎?

  • (Murmurs)

    每一次勝利都代表成功嗎?

  • Oh.

    (低聲討論)

  • (Laughter)

  • Whoa. OK.

    (笑聲)

  • I am the recently retired head coach

    喔,好的

  • of the UCLA Women's Gymnastics Team,

    我最近從 UCLA

  • a position that I held for 29 years.

    女子體操隊總教練這個職位退休

  • (Applause)

    我待在這崗位 29 年了

  • Thank you.

    (掌聲)

  • And during my tenure,

    謝謝

  • I experienced a lot of winning.

    我在任期中

  • I led our team to seven National Championships,

    嘗過很多次次勝利的滋味

  • I was inducted into the UCLA Athletic Hall of Fame

    我領著我們隊贏得七次全國冠軍

  • and I was even voted the Coach of the Century

    也被編入學校的運動員名人堂

  • by the Pac-12 Conference.

    我曾經獲選太平洋十二校聯盟

  • (Applause)

    本世紀最佳教練

  • Winning is really, really,

    (掌聲)

  • like, really, really fun.

    獲勝真的非常

  • (Laughter)

    非常、非常有趣

  • But I am here to share my insight:

    (笑聲)

  • winning does not always equal success.

    不過我今天想分享我的見解

  • All across America and around the world,

    獲勝並非就是成功了

  • we have a crisis

    美國還有全世界的人們

  • in the win-at-all-cost cultures

    正面臨自己招致的危機

  • that we have created.

    那就是不計代價獲勝的文化

  • In our schools,

    在學術、商業,或政治領域

  • in our businesses, in politics,

    大家逐漸接受這種文化

  • winning at all cost has become acceptable.

    在我們的社會裡

  • As a society,

    站在金字塔頂端能得到榮耀

  • we honor the people at the top of the pyramid.

    我們過度為那些

  • We effusively applaud those people who win championships and elections and awards.

    贏得冠軍、選舉、獎項的人喝采

  • But sadly, quite often,

    但常常這些人卻是遍體麟傷

  • those same people are leaving their institutions

    離開原本所在的團體

  • as damaged human beings.

    這令人非常難過

  • Sadly, with straight A's,

    同樣地,成績優異的學生

  • kids are leaving school damaged.

    卻也受到傷害後離開校園

  • With awards and medals,

    運動員囊括獎項和獎牌後

  • athletes often leave their teams damaged,

    時常傷痕累累離隊

  • emotionally, mentally, not just physically.

    不只是身體上的傷害

  • And with huge profits, employees often leave their companies damaged.

    情感、心理也可能無所倖免

  • We have become so hyperfocused on that end result,

    創造巨額營收的公司

  • and when the end result is a win,

    員工時常帶傷離開公司

  • the human component of how we got there

    我們過度專注在結果上

  • often gets swept under the proverbial rug,

    若最終迎來勝利

  • and so does the damage.

    讓勝利得以實現的人們

  • So I'm calling for a time-out.

    卻沒得到應有的表彰

  • Time-out.

    傷害也隱藏了起來

  • We need to redefine success.

    所以我要喊時間暫停

  • Real success is developing champions in life for our world,

    時間暫停

  • win or lose.

    我們必須重新定義成功是什麼

  • (Applause)

    真正成功是為世界

  • Real success is developing champions in life,

    培養人生的贏家

  • not for your team,

    不論輸贏

  • not for your business

    (掌聲)

  • and, I'm sad to tell you, not even for your Christmas card bragging rights.

    真正成功是培養人生的贏家

  • Sorry.

    不是為了隊伍

  • So how do we do this?

    也不是為了公司

  • First of all, you may be able to dictate your way to a win,

    更不是為了在聖誕節卡片上炫耀

  • but you can't dictate your way to success.

    我很抱歉

  • Let me take you back to 1990, when I was first appointed the head coach

    我們該怎麼做?

  • of the UCLA Women's Gymnastics Team.

    首先,你也許能決定獲勝的方法

  • And I would like to share with you that I've never done gymnastics.

    卻不能支配成功的方法

  • I grew up in the world of ballet.

    讓我說說 1990 年

  • I have never done a cartwheel,

    當時我剛接了 UCLA

  • and I couldn't teach you how to do a proper cartwheel.

    女子體操隊的總教練

  • (Laughter)

    我想跟你們說我從來沒練過體操

  • It's sadly true.

    我跳著芭雷長大

  • And I knew nothing about how to develop a team culture.

    我從沒翻過筋斗

  • The best I could do was mimic other coaches who had won.

    所以我沒辦法教你

  • And so I became tough-talking,

    完美的筋斗是什麼樣子

  • tough-minded, relentless,

    (笑聲)

  • unsympathetic,

    很遺憾,卻是真的

  • bullish, unempathetic

    我也不知道要如何 建立一套隊伍文化

  • and oftentimes downright mean.

    我能做的只有模仿其他獲勝的教練

  • I acted like a head coach

    所以我開始變得刀子嘴

  • whose only thought was to figure out how to win.

    卻沒豆腐心,光講求實際效果

  • My first few seasons as a head coach

    很冷漠

  • were abysmal,

    專橫、沒同理心

  • and after putting up with my brash coaching style for a few years,

    也常常很尖酸

  • our team asked me for a team meeting.

    我的樣子就像個總教練

  • Well, I love team meetings,

    只想著要如何贏得勝利

  • so I said, "Yay! Let's have a team meeting."

    我當總教練的最初幾季

  • And for two solid hours,

    實在是非常糟糕

  • they gave me examples of how my arrogance was hurtful and demeaning.

    我的隊伍在忍受 我如此自以為是的風格後

  • Yeah, not yay.

    找我開了隊伍會議

  • They explained to me

    我很喜歡開隊伍會議

  • that they wanted to be supported,

    我跟他們說:「好啊,來開會吧!」

  • not belittled.

    整整兩個小時後

  • They wanted to be coached up, not torn down.

    他們給了我很多例子

  • They wanted to be motivated,

    讓我知道我的自大 讓他們感到受傷、輕視

  • not pressured or bullied.

    好吧,這樣並不好

  • That was my time-out,

    他們跟我說

  • and I chose to change.

    想要感到有人支持

  • Being a dogmatic dictator

    而不是受貶低

  • may produce compliant, good little soldiers,

    想要受訓練進步

  • but it doesn't develop champions in life.

    而不是體無完膚

  • It is so much easier, in any walk of life,

    想要獲得動力

  • to dictate and give orders

    而不是因壓力或霸凌而受苦

  • than to actually figure out how to motivate someone

    這是我的時間暫停

  • to want to be better.

    我選擇做出改變

  • And the reason is -- we all know this --

    一個固執己見的獨裁者

  • motivation takes a really long time

    也許能有優秀士兵服從

  • to take root.

    卻無法創造人生的贏家

  • But when it does,

    各行各業中,相比試著激勵他人

  • it is character-building

    去愈加進步

  • and life-altering.

    憑己見下指令

  • I realized that I needed to fortify our student-athletes

    會簡單非常多

  • as whole human beings,

    我們都知道原因是

  • not just athletes who won.

    動力需要很長時間扎根

  • So success for me shifted

    不過一旦獲得動力

  • from only focusing on winning

    便能建立良好人格、

  • to developing my coaching philosophy,

    改變生命樣貌

  • which is developing champions in life through sport.

    我認為應該把隊員當作

  • And I knew if I did this well enough,

    完整的人類

  • that champion mentality would translate to the competition floor.

    而不只是獲勝的運動員

  • And it did.

    因此成功之於我

  • The key ingredient was to develop trust

    是將重心從只專注獲勝

  • through patience,

    轉往建立教練哲學

  • respectful honesty

    也就是藉由運動創造人生贏家

  • and accountability --

    我知道如果我做得夠好

  • all of the ingredients that go into tough love.

    贏家心態也會展現在比賽會場上

  • Speaking of tough love,

    結果真是如此

  • Katelyn Ohashi is a perfect example of this.

    關鍵是建立信任

  • You may have all seen her floor routine.

    保持耐心

  • It has had over 150 million views.

    誠實尊重他人

  • And the consensus is, her performance is pure joy.

    還要擔起責任

  • However, when Katelyn came to UCLA, she was broken in body, mind and spirit.

    這些因素都會構成堅固的情誼

  • She had grown up in a stereotypical, very high-level athletic world,

    說到情誼

  • and she was damaged.

    Katelyn Ohashi 就是一個很好的例子

  • So when Katelyn came to UCLA her freshman year,

    你也許看過她的地板動作

  • she found her inner rebel quite well,

    網路上有超過一億五千萬觀看人次

  • to the point where she was no longer able to do gymnastics

    大家都認為她樂在其中

  • at the level at which she was recruited.

    但在她剛到我們學校時

  • And I will never forget

    身體、心裡還有精神都傷痕累累

  • a team meeting we had halfway through her freshman season.

    她的生長環境是非常典型、 高標準的運動圈

  • We were in there with the team, the coaching staff, the support staff,

    她因此身受其害

  • sports psychologist,

    所以當她大一來到我們學校

  • and Katelyn very clearly and unapologetically said,

    她變得有點叛逆

  • "I just don't want to be great again."

    體操表現不如剛入隊時那樣出色

  • I felt like I got sucker punched.

    我永遠無法忘記

  • My first thought was,

    她大一過一半時那次隊伍會議

  • "Then why the heck am I going to honor your scholarship?"

    整個隊伍、教練團隊、支持團隊

  • It was a really snarky thought, and thankfully I didn't say it out loud,

    還有運動心理師都出席了

  • because then I had clarity.

    Katelyn 非常清楚

  • Katelyn didn't hate gymnastics.

    面無愧色地表達:

  • Katelyn hated everything associated with being great.

    「我沒意願再次傑出了」

  • Katelyn didn't want to be a winner,

    我像是受到意料外的一擊

  • because winning at all cost had cost her her joy.

    第一個想法是

  • My job was to figure out how to motivate her

    「這樣我哪能給你獎學金?」

  • to want to be great again,

    這想法很不可取,還好我沒說出來

  • by helping her redefine success.

    因為她也給了解釋

  • My enthusiasm for that challenge turned into determination

    她並不討厭體操

  • when one day Katelyn looked me in the eye and said,

    只是討厭任何事汲汲營營

  • "Ms. Val, I just want you to know,

    Katelyn 不想贏

  • everything you tell me to do, I do the exact opposite."

    因為不計代價的獲勝

  • (Laughter)

    使她賠進了所有的快樂

  • Yeah, it was like, yeah, Katelyn, challenge accepted. OK.

    我的職責便是想辦法鼓舞她重拾動力

  • (Laughter)

    重新定義成功這件事

  • And further proof that dictating was not going to win.

    以追求卓越

  • So I embarked on the painfully slow process

    我面對這樣的挑戰

  • of building trust

    會化熱情為決心

  • and proving to her that first and foremost

    是因為有天 Katelyn 對我說:

  • I cared about her as a whole human being.

    「教練,我只想讓你知道,

  • Part of my strategy was to only talk to Katelyn about gymnastics in the gym.

    我處處都跟你唱反調」

  • Outside of the gym, we talked about everything else:

    (笑聲)

  • school, boys, families, friends, hobbies.

    就好像是,好,Katelyn

  • I encouraged her to find things outside of her sport that brought her joy.

    好,我接受挑戰

  • And it was so cool

    (笑聲)

  • to see the process of Katelyn Ohashi literally blossom before our eyes.

    這也進一步證明,命令起不了效果

  • And through that process,

    所以我開始走上建立信任

  • she rediscovered her self-love

    這條遙遙無期之路

  • and self-worth.

    也想要證明我最在乎的

  • And slowly, she was able to bring that joy

    是她這個人本身

  • back to her gymnastics.

    我的策略之一是

  • She went on to earn the NCAA title on floor,

    只有在體育館才跟 Katelyn 聊體操

  • and she helped our team win our seventh NCAA championship in 2018.

    離開了體育館,我們就另闢話題:

  • So --

    學校、男孩、家人、朋友、興趣

  • Thank you.

    我鼓勵她找找除了運動

  • (Applause)

    能讓她快樂的東西

  • So let's think about the Katelyn Ohashis in your life.

    能看到 Katelyn Ohashi

  • Let's think about those people under your care and your guidance.

    在大家眼前漸漸成果累累

  • What are you telling your kids on the car ride home?

    這件事非常棒

  • That car ride home

    在這個過程中

  • has much more impact than you know.

    她也重新瞭解如何愛惜自己

  • Are you focusing on the end result,

    找到自我價值

  • or are you excited to use that time

    她慢慢地可以把這份喜悅

  • to help your child develop into a champion?

    帶回體操

  • It's very simple:

    後來她在 NCAA 的地板項目奪冠

  • you will know you're focusing on the end result

    也幫隊伍在 2018 年 贏得第七座 NCAA 冠軍

  • if you ask questions about the end result.

    所以

  • "Did you win?"

    謝謝

  • "How many points did you score?"

    (掌聲)

  • "Did you get an A?"

    所以讓我們想想 生命中的 Katelyn Ohashis

  • If you truly are motivated about helping your child develop into a champion,

    想想你照顧和帶領的人們

  • you will ask questions about the experience

    你在回家路上會跟小孩說什麼?

  • and the process,

    回家這段時間

  • like, "What did you learn today?"

    比大家想像的更有影響力

  • "Did you help a teammate?"

    你只在乎結果

  • And, my favorite question,

    還是很想好好利用這段時間

  • "Did you figure out how to have fun at working really, really hard?"

    讓你的孩子成為人生贏家?

  • And then the key is to be very still

    這件事很簡單:

  • and listen to their response.

    如果你問的是結果

  • I believe that one of the greatest gifts we can give another human being

    那你就是只在乎這件事

  • is to silence our minds

    「你贏了嗎?」

  • from the need to be right

    「你得幾分?」

  • or the need to formulate the appropriate response

    「你得到甲嗎?」

  • and truly listen

    如果你是真的想幫助孩子成為贏家

  • when someone else is talking.

    你問的問題會是關於經驗或過程

  • And in silencing our minds,

    像是「你今天學了什麼?」

  • we actually hear our own fears and inadequacies,

    「有幫隊友嗎?」

  • which can help us formulate our response

    還有我最喜歡的問題

  • with more clarity and empathy.

    「你很努力,那有樂在其中嗎?」

  • Kyla Ross, another one of our gymnasts,

    關鍵是要專注聽聽他們的回應

  • is one of the greatest gymnasts in the history of the sport.

    我相信我們送別人最大的禮物

  • She's the only athlete to have earned the trifecta:

    就是不要覺得凡事都得要正確

  • she's a national champion,

    也不要刻意營造洽當的回應方式

  • a world champion

    而是當別人講話時

  • and an Olympic champion.

    真心傾聽

  • She's also not one for small talk,

    摒除那些想法

  • so I was a bit surprised one day when she came to my office,

    其實也能聽到自己的恐懼和不足

  • sat on the couch

    而能讓我們想想

  • and just started talking --

    該怎麼更清楚、

  • first about her major,

    更有同理心的回應

  • then about graduate school

    Kyla Ross 是我們隊上 另一位體操員

  • and then about everything else that seemed to pop into her mind.

    也是體操史上最傑出的選手之一

  • My inner voice whispered to me

    她是唯一贏得大三元的選手

  • that something was on her mind,

    全國冠軍

  • and if I was still

    世界冠軍

  • and gave her enough time,

    還有奧運金牌

  • it would come out.

    她是不太閒聊的人

  • And it did.

    我很驚訝她那時會來我辦公室

  • It was the first time that Kyla had shared with anyone

    坐在沙發上

  • that she had been sexually abused by Larry Nassar,

    然後開始跟我聊天

  • the former USA Gymnastics team doctor,

    先是她的主修

  • who was later convicted of being a serial child molester.

    然後是研究所

  • Kyla came forward

    就像是想到什麼就聊什麼那樣

  • and joined the army

    我內心告訴我

  • of Nassar survivors

    她一定有什麼煩惱

  • who shared their stories

    如果我專注傾聽

  • and used their voices

    給她夠多時間

  • to invoke positive change for our world.

    答案會呼之欲出

  • I felt it was extremely important at that time

    最後真是如此

  • to provide a safe space for Kyla and our team.

    那是她第一次跟任何人說

  • And so I chose to talk about this in a few team meetings.

    Larry Nassar 性虐待她

  • Later that year, we won the national championship,

    也就是前美國體操國家隊隊醫

  • and after we did, Kyla came up to me and shared with me the fact

    事後遭定罪多次猥褻孩童

  • that she felt one reason that we'd won

    Kyla 挺身而出

  • was because we had addressed the elephant in the room,

    加入 Nassar 受害者的隊伍

  • the tragedy that had not only rocked the world

    分享他們的遭遇

  • but that had liberated the truths and the memories in herself

    也為此發聲

  • and in so many of her friends

    讓世界變得更加美好