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  • >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK.

  • LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST IS A STAND-UP

  • COMEDIAN MAKING HER NETWORK TELEVISION DEBUT.

  • PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW"" KATE WILLETT.

  • ( APPLAUSE ) >> HEY!

  • HEY, EVERYBODY!

  • I'M REALLY EXCITED TO BE HERE.

  • SO, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO STOP DATING IMMATURE GUYS.

  • I MOVED TO THE TOP OF A HILL SO THAT IT WOULD BE HARDER TO

  • SKATEBOARD UP THERE.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) I WAS HOOKING UP WITH THIS ONE

  • GUY FOR A LITTLE WHILE, MAYBE, LIKE, SIX YEARS.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) DURING THAT TIME, HE WOULD TELL

  • ME NOT TO GET EMOTIONAL.

  • BUT THEN HE WOULD ALSO CONSTANTLY CONFIDE IN ME ABOUT

  • HOW HIS DAD LEFT WHEN HE WAS A LITTLE BOY.

  • AND I TRIED TO BE SUPPORTIVE, BUT AROUND YEAR FOUR OF THAT, I

  • JUST REALLY STARTED TO SEE WHY THE DAD TOOK OFF.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) I THINK THAT SHAMING PROMISCUOUS

  • WOMEN IS A VERY BIG PROBLEM IN OUR CULTURE, AND A LOT OF IT IS

  • COMING FROM MY MOM.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) SHE'LL SAY THINGS LIKE, "KATE, I

  • THINK IT'S REALLY SAD THAT WOMEN YOUR AGE HOOK UP WITH THESE

  • LOSER GUYS WHO JUST LEAVE."

  • AND I'M LIKE, MOM, I THINK IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN THE DAYS WHEN

  • WOMEN HOOKED UP WITH LOSER GUYS WHO JUST STAYED."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

  • NOW A CRAPPY GUY, YOU KNOW HE ONLY WANTS YOU FOR ONE THING.

  • BUT BACK IN MY MOM'S DAY, THEY ALSO WANTED YOU TO DO DISHES.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) PEOPLE USED TO GET MARRIED WAY

  • TOO YOUNG.

  • IF I GOT MARRIED WHEN I WAS 20 LIKE MY MOM DID, I WOULD BE

  • MARRIED TO A DUDE RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE AT SOME POINT HE JUST

  • HAD WEED.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ON THE UP SIDE, LIKE, WE'D SAVE

  • MONEY ON THE WEDDING BECAUSE HE'S ABSOLUTELY ALREADY BE A

  • D.J.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) BUT I'M VERY GLAD THAT THINGS

  • HAVE CHANGED.

  • IF THIS WAS 40 YEARS AGO, I WOULD NOT BE DOING STAND-UP

  • RIGHT NOW.

  • I WOULD PROBABLY BE MARRIED TO SOME KIND OF DEAD-BEAT,

  • ALCOHOLIC DUDE, AND I'M NOT BECAUSE I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE

  • BORN IN A TIME WHERE MOST DEAD-BEAT ALCOHOLIC DUDES ARE

  • NOT REALLY LOOKING TO COMMIT.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I HAVE

  • TRIED REALLY HARD.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) COMEDY IS NOT MY FIRST

  • MALE-DOMINATED INDUSTRY.

  • I USED TO WORK IN TECH IN AN OFFICE THAT WAS JUST ME AND 20

  • GUYS.

  • THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT POLICY WAS JUST, "HEY, EVERYBODY, PLEASE

  • LEAVE KATE ALONE."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) I WROTE IT.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND NOW BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE

  • ARE NOT USED TO THE IDEA OF A FEMALE COMEDIAN, I WILL GET

  • TROLLED BY THESE WEIRD MEN WHO LIVE IN BASEMENTS, AND BEFORE

  • YOU GET MAD AT ME, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I'M SURE THAT THERE

  • ARE ALSO SOME REALLY GREAT GUYS WHO LIVE IN BASEMENTS.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) HASHTAG NOT ALL BASEMENT MEN.

  • LOOK, SOME OF THEM DO NOT HATE WOMEN.

  • THEY JUST HATE WINDOWS.

  • BUTTED DUDES WHO ARE TROLLING ME ARE VERY MISOGYNISTIC.

  • THEY'LL SAY THINGS LIKE, "WOMEN JUST WANT TO TAKE HALF YOUR

  • STUFF."

  • AND I'M LIKE, BRO, THERE ARE WAY EASIER WAYS TO GET HALF A BAG OF

  • DORITOS."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) SOME OF THE GUYS WHO TROLL ME

  • ARE INCELS, WHICH IS SHORT FOR INVOLUNTARY CELIBATE.

  • THESE ARE MEN NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM, AND THEY

  • COMPLAIN ABOUT IT IN INTERNET FORUMS, WHICH, TO BE HONEST WITH

  • YOU, I HAVE ALSO DONE.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I HAD

  • A VERY HARD TIME COMING OUT AS BISEXUAL TO ANYONE EXCEPT FOR

  • THESE LESBIANS IN AN ONLINE CHAT ROOM.

  • SO I WOULD GO IN THERE AND BE LIKE, "HEY, I'M A 15-YEAR-OLD

  • BISEXUAL GIRL, AND I'M SUPER HORNY."

  • AND THEN THEY WOULD JUST BE LIKE, "GET OUT OF HERE, YOU

  • DISGUSTING OLD MAN."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

  • SO I WENT AND READ SOME INCEL MESSAGE BOARDS AND THE THEME IS,

  • "NO ONE LIKES ME.

  • NO ONE WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH ME.

  • PEOPLE CANNOT EVEN STAND BEING AROUND ME, SO IT SOUNDS LIKE THE

  • PROBLEM IS, OBVIOUSLY, WOMEN."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND THEIR IDEA FOR A SOLUTION IS

  • TO MAKE IT ILLEGAL FOR WOMEN TO HAVE SEX WITH MORE THAN ONE MAN

  • IN OUR LIFETIME SO THAT WE WILL BE REDISTRIBUTED.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) NO MATTER HOW SEXUALLY

  • FRUSTRATED I HAVE EVER BEEN, I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT TRYING

  • TO SOLVE IT THROUGH A LEGISLATIVE PROCESS.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

  • THANK YOU SO MUCH!

  • >> Stephen: HER PODCAST IS CALLED "REPLY GUYS" AND IS

  • AVAILABLE ON iTUNES.

  • KATE WILLETT, EVERYBODY!

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK.

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B1 中級

凱特-威廉特表演脫口秀 (Kate Willett Performs Stand Up)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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