because it comes to you in eight parts. It is also like the cake, because it is, at least

因為它是分八份給你的。它也像蛋糕一樣，因為它至少是

partly, a lie. That’s right, Hank, it’s April Fool’s Day. One of these eight parts

部分原因是謊言沒錯，漢克，今天是愚人節。這八個部分中的一個

is a lie. You will either guess the lie or I will have fooled you, which will make me

是一個謊言。你要麼會猜到這個謊言，要麼我就會愚弄你，這將使我。

the winner of an arbitrary contest of my own creation! Which is my favorite kind of game

我自己創造的一個任意比賽的贏家！這是我最喜歡的一種遊戲

to win.

要贏。

Part one: Hank, Nerdfighters have done so much research into the great and terrible

第一部分漢克，書呆子們做了這麼多的研究，研究偉大和可怕的事情。

library of Ivan the Terrible that we are now the largest resource on the entire internet

伊凡雷帝的圖書館，我們現在是整個互聯網上最大的資源。

on the topic. And the story they’ve uncovered is crazy, Hank, it involves, like, fire-proof

關於這個話題。他們發現的故事很瘋狂，漢克，它涉及到，就像，防火的。

dungeons and crucified skeletons and a supposedly-blind architect! It’s like National Treasure only

地牢和被釘在十字架上的骷髏 還有一個所謂的盲人建築師！就像《國家寶藏》一樣

it’s real and the role of Nicholas Cage is played by nerds.

這是真實的，尼古拉斯-凱奇的角色是由書呆子扮演的。

Speaking of Nicholas Cage, Hank, part two: Nicholas Cage has a son named Kal-El, like

說到尼古拉斯-凱奇，漢克，第二部分。尼古拉斯-凱奇有個兒子叫凱爾-艾爾，就像...

the birth name of Superman, his name is Kal-El Coppola Cage because, you know, Nick Cage

超人的出生名，他的名字是Kal -El Coppola Cage，因為，你知道，尼克-凱奇。

is cousins with Sofia Coppola, who by the way made The Virgin Suicides into a movie,

是索菲亞-科波拉的表兄弟，順便把《處女自殺》拍成了電影。

a book written by Jeffrey Eugenides, whose facial hair may or may not be a joke.

一本由傑弗裡-尤金尼德斯寫的書，他的面部頭髮可能是也可能不是笑話。

Part three: also, while we’re on the topic of celebrities, Michael J. Fox’s middle

第三部分：另外，當我們在討論名人的話題時，邁克爾-J-福克斯的中。

name? Andrew.

名字？安德魯

Part four: Hank, I hate being one of those parents who brags, but Henry spoke his first

第四部分漢克，我討厭做那些吹牛的父母之一 但亨利說了他的第一句話...

multiple-word sentence this week, and it was very cute. I was like “hi” and he was

本週的多字句，它是非常可愛的。我就像 "嗨"，他就

like “hi” and I was like “hi” and he was like “hi” and I was like “hi”

像 "喜"，我很喜歡 "喜"，他很喜歡 "喜"，我很喜歡 "喜"。

and then he looked me deep in the eyes and he said “Hi, cat!”

然後他看著我的眼睛說："嗨，貓！"

Part five: Hank, you probably know that Marie Curie is the only person to win a Nobel Prize

第五部分漢克，你可能知道瑪麗-居里是唯一獲得諾貝爾獎的人。

in both chemistry and physics, but did you know that her daughter Irene also won a Nobel

但你知道她的女兒艾琳也獲得了諾貝爾獎嗎？

Prize, making her the only Nobel Prize winner who is the mother of a Nobel Prize winner?

獎，使她成為唯一一位諾貝爾獎得主的母親?

It’s a fact, Hank! Or is it? Also, Hank, Marie Curie had a sister named Bronislawa.

這是事實，漢克！或者是嗎?還有 Hank Marie Curie有個妹妹叫Bronislawa.

It’s hard out there for a Bronislawa. Hank, this is off-topic but I will pay you one American

布羅尼斯拉瓦人在外面很辛苦啊漢克，這是題外話，但我會付給你一個美國人的錢

dollar if you write a song about Marie Curie’s sister called “It’s Hard Out There for

如果你寫一首關於瑪麗-居里的妹妹的歌，叫 "外面的世界很艱難"，你就能得到一美元。

a Bronislawa.”

和布羅尼斯拉瓦。"

Part six: Hank, you may remember that I purchased Warner Chilcott stock after Warner Chilcott

第六部分：漢克，你可能還記得，在華納-奇爾科特之後，我購買了華納-奇爾科特的股票。

Warner Chilcotted you and other people with ulcerative colitis. Well Hank, I sold that

華納-奇爾科特把你和其他潰瘍性結腸炎的人都賣了。漢克，我把它賣了

stock today for a twenty-six dollar profit! I’m on a roller coaster that only goes up,

今天的股票賺了二十六塊錢!我坐上了只漲不跌的雲霄飛車。

baby! Hank, I don’t think I’ve ever felt worse about making twenty-six dollars. I’d

寶貝！漢克，我想我從來沒有因為賺了26塊錢而感覺更糟。我...

like to use that money to decrease Worldsuck, preferably in a way that Warner Chilcotts

喜歡用這些錢來減少世界末日，最好是用華納-奇爾科茨的方式。

Warner Chilcott. Nerdfighters, if you have any ideas, leave them in comments.

華納-奇爾科特。宅男們，如果你們有什麼想法，請在評論中留言。

Part seven: Hank, people say my fear of heights is irrational, but do you know what’s the

第七部分：漢克，人們都說我的恐高症是非理性的，但你知道什麼是恐高症嗎？

most common cause of non-fatal emergency room visits between the ages of 25 and 34? Unintentional

25至34歲之間非致命性急診的最常見原因？無意的

fall! And heights are the most common cause of unintentional falls, meaning that heights

跌倒!而高空是造成意外摔倒的最常見原因，也就是說，高空

are the greatest non-fatal problem facing members of our generation! So Hank, let that

是我們這一代人面臨的最大的非致命性問題!所以，漢克，讓這個

be a lesson to you: do not put yourself in a situation where you could fall unintentionally.

給你一個教訓：不要讓自己處於可能無意中跌倒的境地。

Part eight: Hank even though you’re like, successful and grown up and everything, do

第八部分：漢克即使你喜歡， 成功和長大了，一切，做的。

you know that if you Google image search your name, this is the second result?

你知道，如果你谷歌圖片搜索你的名字，這是第二個結果？

So that’s it, seven truths and one lie! Nerdfighters, leave your guess in comments.

就這樣，七分真，一分假!宅男宅女們，在評論中留下你的猜測。

I hope you don’t get fooled! Hank, you’re a tomato. I’ll see you on Monday.

我希望你不要被騙了!漢克，你是個西紅柿。星期一見

P.S. Nerdfighters, if you haven’t seen Hank’s video about the Ice Cream Chords, your mind

P.S. Nerdfighters，如果你還沒看過Hank關於冰激凌和絃的視頻，你的心態

is about to be blown. Click anywhere on the screen and find out why Rebecca Black and

即將被炸燬。點擊螢幕上的任何地方，找出為什麼麗貝卡-布萊克和。

Slipknot have some surprising things in common.

Slipknot有一些令人驚訝的共同點。