A lot nicer than, for example, we are with any of our friends.

We like the latter.

We love the former, but in fact we often monsters in love.

What explains our bad behavior that there's so much at stake?

Friends are with us just for the evening.

Our mutual challenges may go no further than the need to locate 1/2 decent restaurant, but the person we love has to be our best friend.

Coffee.

It'll nurse, financial advisor, chauffeur, co parent and sex mate.

No wonder they can't succeed in every area, but that we expect so much from them in love, a problem that would not have to be maddening in and of itself.

Perhaps a towel on the floor or a chewing sound can unleash catastrophic anxiety when we feel that this may be more or less permanent feature of the one life we've been granted on this att, the backs of our minds.

Driving our agitation on during domestic struggles is a simple explosive thought that the other person hasn't just done this or that thing we find problematic they have ruined our lives.

We aren't monsters with our friends because they have no capacity to do us much damage.

We need to have invested a lot in someone before will be motivated to scream of them.

Slammed doors on the minute.

Call him an asshole when they let us down.

Paradoxically, love makes us feel safe enough to be horrible.

If we were in temperate with our friends, they very soon make excuses to stop seeing things.

But love lenses the safety to reveal our more disturbed emotions and show a partner who we really are.

And that's a privilege.

We would, in truth, be wiser and kinder, never fully to share with anyone toe address away from self righteousness and fury.

We should moments of frustration, except that we haven't come together with someone unusually incompetent.

We're trying to do something unusually hard that everyone in the world fails that to some degree, not least us.

We should blame the task, not our colleague on.

We should at all times there in mind to how hard we are to deal with.

Nothing makes us into monsters faster than the illusion that we are on the whole really quite simple to be around.

If we sincerely believe this, we haven't begun to know the very first thing about ourselves.

Asking someone to love you and be with you is a pretty mean thing to suggest toe anyone you really want the best for.

We should try not to make it harder than it needs to be.

Our emotional first aid kit provides a set of useful salves to some of life's most challenging psychological situations, including friendship, love, sex, work and self click The link on screen.

Now, to find out more, be sure to subscribe to our channel internal notifications.