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  • - Hey, guys, this is Austin and today I'm eating lunch.

  • Uh, how is this mystery tech?

  • (whines)

  • What, the HAPIfork?

  • Eat slowly, cut calories, and improve digestion?

  • I thought a smart fork was a spork?

  • Can I ask how much this was?

  • - [Ken] 65.

  • - $65!

  • At least I get a delicious salad out

  • of the deal so I can't really argue too much.

  • - [Ken] $5 for the salad.

  • - The fork has a USB port on the bottom because, naturally.

  • Should I clean this before I eat with it

  • since it just came out of the package?

  • Nah.

  • Alright, so I would like to start eating.

  • So I'm gonna grab a nice bite of salad here.

  • (crunching)

  • Mm, great timing.

  • I agree.

  • Mm, take another bite.

  • Oh, just vibrated at me.

  • Not happy.

  • In like five more seconds.

  • Okay, let's do it.

  • I can't really test the HAPIfork

  • because it takes so long to chew salad.

  • (laughs)

  • Let's see if I can trick the HAPIfork.

  • Oh, look at that!

  • It's actually not falling for it.

  • What if I actually grab something though?

  • I have something on the fork.

  • Oh, wow!

  • (laughing)

  • I'm legitimately impressed.

  • I thought this was gonna be total (bleep).

  • Wow, that's quite loud.

  • This, my friends, is the Smartphone Magnifier.

  • Wait, what? (laughs)

  • Oh, wow, that's, that's a magnifier.

  • Wait, so this whole thing is cardboard?

  • I mean, I appreciate that they're trying

  • to make it look all cool, but this retro TV

  • definitely didn't have S-Video in.

  • How much was this?

  • - [Ken] 30.

  • - $30.

  • Oh, wait, stuff's falling out.

  • Oh.

  • Oh, that's pretty cool.

  • Alright, I'll give them props.

  • They've got their retro vibe totally on point.

  • So I guess what you do is you put your smartphone

  • in the tray and then just drop it in.

  • There's also gonna be a little rubber mat maybe?

  • Okay, so if I slide it in like this.

  • There we go.

  • That's the look right there.

  • As far as actually using it,

  • you can see absolutely nothing until you're

  • looking at it directly on point.

  • Besides that, it gets very sort of warped

  • and you're sort of looking at the top or the bottom.

  • But it doesn't even sound that bad, too.

  • Listen to that.

  • [Austin's Voice] And now there's gonna be a second

  • generation version of that which supposedly, again--

  • This is kinda cool, I gotta say.

  • It is a lot better than I expected.

  • Now, it's a total novelty, but it kind of sounds alright.

  • I mean, there's some holes for the speaker to come out.

  • Alright, man, alright.

  • I'm aboard.

  • Oh, man, what? (playful music)

  • Ken, why do you just have a giant pillow?

  • I think I actually know what this is though.

  • Is this one of those sequin pillows

  • where if you move it, oh, yup, yup.

  • It creates something?

  • Oh, no.

  • Oh.

  • I don't like where this is going.

  • Is this a pattern?

  • What is this?

  • It just all looks brown.

  • Oh, no, wait a minute.

  • Oh, no, this is my face! (laughs)

  • Oh, wait!

  • No, it's Nick Cage's face!

  • Wow!

  • Where did you find this?

  • Oh, well, let me guess, Amazon?

  • - [Ken] Yes.

  • - Of course, it is.

  • So you've got your Nick Cage face when it's party time.

  • When it's not party time.

  • Don't worry.

  • No Nick Cage here.

  • Now you see him, now you don't.

  • Now you see him, now you don't.

  • (laughs)

  • If Jake does not own this pillow,

  • we need to give him this pillow.

  • Jake Roper, my friends, has multiple Nick Cage shirts.

  • I've seen him wear at least two of them.

  • I don't even wanna know how much this is

  • 'cause it's just gonna make me upset

  • that money was wasted, but also.

  • $10?

  • Oh, okay, I feel much less bad about this.

  • Yeah, not really feelin' it.

  • Kinda.

  • Kinda hard.

  • Um, but it is nice to know that I'm

  • laying on Nick Cage's face so.

  • - [Ken] You're actually not.

  • (Austin clears throat)

  • - How 'bout now?

  • Headphones?

  • Okay, wait, what?

  • Headphones that have a detachable cable like earbuds?

  • How much?

  • - [Ken] 150.

  • - $150, not a lot for Ken Bolido.

  • Don't worry about it.

  • So these are the Final E4000 Hi-Fi earphones.

  • Can I take a wild guess in that you are going

  • to be the proud owner of these headphones

  • as soon as the video is over?

  • - [Ken] Maybe.

  • - That's what I thought.

  • They're very lightweight.

  • They don't feel particularly premium,

  • the cable, the actual headphones themselves.

  • But they do have this kind of weird shape.

  • Why, did my phone just slide off the table?

  • - Yeah. - It literally just slid off?

  • Okay, okay, that's fine.

  • (laughs)

  • Okay, bass, it's there.

  • Damn!

  • So it is going to be a little bit more optimized

  • for hip hop so if you have something

  • that does have an accentuated bass

  • it's really going to punch here,

  • but I've never heard headphones

  • that have this kind of bass that are so small,

  • and they also have such a wide soundstage.

  • You're not getting these back.

  • These are mine now, you realize?

  • Piggy Pro, the premium phone stand.

  • It's razor thin and infinitely adjustable.

  • Why is it called Piggy Pro?

  • There's a mirror on the inside

  • so if your phone stand also wants to function

  • as a mirror to see like a postage-size stamp of your face.

  • Postage-size stamp?

  • Postage.

  • - [Matt] Stamp-size.

  • - Stamp-size postage?

  • No, wait.

  • - [Matt] Nope, just stamp-sized.

  • Just stamp-sized, yeah.

  • The postage is probably not necessary, is it?

  • - [Matt] Stamp is postage.

  • - Stamp is postage.

  • It's maybe not the most color-matching thing in the world,

  • but let's see how this actually works as a stand.

  • Oh, look, my phone stands up.

  • (laughs)

  • Nerf?

  • The Zombie Strike Crossbow.

  • This isn't tech.

  • I know a pillow wasn't tech, but this definitely isn't tech.

  • - [Ken] It was an office recommendation.

  • - Oh, so I just get to shoot you

  • with Nerf darts now, that's? - Yeah.

  • - Okay.

  • I mean.

  • - [Matt] Therefore nothing.

  • - This is not a normal mystery tech item.

  • But, I gotta say, at least it's not a robot dinosaur.

  • Can't really complain about that.

  • Where's Roboraptor?

  • (Roboraptor shrieking)

  • My nemesis has arrived.

  • Wait, actually, should I be shooting Roboraptor?

  • I feel like Roboraptor should be my

  • ally in this particular fight.

  • Roboraptor, are you ready? (Roboraptor roars)

  • Yeah, you are.

  • Oh! (laughs)

  • No, go away!

  • Ah, I missed!

  • It's okay.

  • High five.

  • (laughs)

  • Wes would not be happy you just let me do that.

  • (laughs)

  • [Austin's Voice] Wes would not be happy

  • you just let me do that. (laughs)

  • - Are you happy, Wes?

  • (Austin laughs) - No.

- Hey, guys, this is Austin and today I'm eating lunch.

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