Uh, how is this mystery tech?

(whines)

What, the HAPIfork?

Eat slowly, cut calories, and improve digestion?

I thought a smart fork was a spork?

Can I ask how much this was?

- [Ken] 65.

- $65!

At least I get a delicious salad out

of the deal so I can't really argue too much.

- [Ken] $5 for the salad.

- The fork has a USB port on the bottom because, naturally.

Should I clean this before I eat with it

since it just came out of the package?

Nah.

Alright, so I would like to start eating.

So I'm gonna grab a nice bite of salad here.

(crunching)

Mm, great timing.

I agree.

Mm, take another bite.

Oh, just vibrated at me.

Not happy.

In like five more seconds.

Okay, let's do it.

I can't really test the HAPIfork

because it takes so long to chew salad.

(laughs)

Let's see if I can trick the HAPIfork.

Oh, look at that!

It's actually not falling for it.

What if I actually grab something though?

I have something on the fork.

Oh, wow!

(laughing)

I'm legitimately impressed.

I thought this was gonna be total (bleep).

Wow, that's quite loud.

This, my friends, is the Smartphone Magnifier.

Wait, what? (laughs)

Oh, wow, that's, that's a magnifier.

Wait, so this whole thing is cardboard?

I mean, I appreciate that they're trying

to make it look all cool, but this retro TV

definitely didn't have S-Video in.

How much was this?

- [Ken] 30.

- $30.

Oh, wait, stuff's falling out.

Oh.

Oh, that's pretty cool.

Alright, I'll give them props.

They've got their retro vibe totally on point.

So I guess what you do is you put your smartphone

in the tray and then just drop it in.

There's also gonna be a little rubber mat maybe?

Okay, so if I slide it in like this.

There we go.

That's the look right there.

As far as actually using it,

you can see absolutely nothing until you're

looking at it directly on point.

Besides that, it gets very sort of warped

and you're sort of looking at the top or the bottom.

But it doesn't even sound that bad, too.

Listen to that.

[Austin's Voice] And now there's gonna be a second

generation version of that which supposedly, again--

This is kinda cool, I gotta say.

It is a lot better than I expected.

Now, it's a total novelty, but it kind of sounds alright.

I mean, there's some holes for the speaker to come out.

Alright, man, alright.

I'm aboard.

Oh, man, what? (playful music)

Ken, why do you just have a giant pillow?

I think I actually know what this is though.

Is this one of those sequin pillows

where if you move it, oh, yup, yup.

It creates something?

Oh, no.

Oh.

I don't like where this is going.

Is this a pattern?

What is this?

It just all looks brown.

Oh, no, wait a minute.

Oh, no, this is my face! (laughs)

Oh, wait!

No, it's Nick Cage's face!

Wow!

Where did you find this?

Oh, well, let me guess, Amazon?

- [Ken] Yes.

- Of course, it is.

So you've got your Nick Cage face when it's party time.

When it's not party time.

Don't worry.

No Nick Cage here.

Now you see him, now you don't.

Now you see him, now you don't.

(laughs)

If Jake does not own this pillow,

we need to give him this pillow.

Jake Roper, my friends, has multiple Nick Cage shirts.

I've seen him wear at least two of them.

I don't even wanna know how much this is

'cause it's just gonna make me upset

that money was wasted, but also.

$10?

Oh, okay, I feel much less bad about this.

Yeah, not really feelin' it.

Kinda.

Kinda hard.

Um, but it is nice to know that I'm

laying on Nick Cage's face so.

- [Ken] You're actually not.

(Austin clears throat)

- How 'bout now?

Headphones?

Okay, wait, what?

Headphones that have a detachable cable like earbuds?

How much?

- [Ken] 150.

- $150, not a lot for Ken Bolido.

Don't worry about it.

So these are the Final E4000 Hi-Fi earphones.

Can I take a wild guess in that you are going

to be the proud owner of these headphones

as soon as the video is over?

- [Ken] Maybe.

- That's what I thought.

They're very lightweight.

They don't feel particularly premium,

the cable, the actual headphones themselves.

But they do have this kind of weird shape.

Why, did my phone just slide off the table?

- Yeah. - It literally just slid off?

Okay, okay, that's fine.

(laughs)

Okay, bass, it's there.

Damn!

So it is going to be a little bit more optimized

for hip hop so if you have something

that does have an accentuated bass

it's really going to punch here,

but I've never heard headphones

that have this kind of bass that are so small,

and they also have such a wide soundstage.

You're not getting these back.

These are mine now, you realize?

Piggy Pro, the premium phone stand.

It's razor thin and infinitely adjustable.

Why is it called Piggy Pro?

There's a mirror on the inside

so if your phone stand also wants to function

as a mirror to see like a postage-size stamp of your face.

Postage-size stamp?

Postage.

- [Matt] Stamp-size.

- Stamp-size postage?

No, wait.

- [Matt] Nope, just stamp-sized.

Just stamp-sized, yeah.

The postage is probably not necessary, is it?

- [Matt] Stamp is postage.

- Stamp is postage.

It's maybe not the most color-matching thing in the world,

but let's see how this actually works as a stand.

Oh, look, my phone stands up.

(laughs)

Nerf?

The Zombie Strike Crossbow.

This isn't tech.

I know a pillow wasn't tech, but this definitely isn't tech.

- [Ken] It was an office recommendation.

- Oh, so I just get to shoot you

with Nerf darts now, that's? - Yeah.

- Okay.

I mean.

- [Matt] Therefore nothing.

- This is not a normal mystery tech item.

But, I gotta say, at least it's not a robot dinosaur.

Can't really complain about that.

Where's Roboraptor?

(Roboraptor shrieking)

My nemesis has arrived.

Wait, actually, should I be shooting Roboraptor?

I feel like Roboraptor should be my

ally in this particular fight.

Roboraptor, are you ready? (Roboraptor roars)

Yeah, you are.

Oh! (laughs)

No, go away!

Ah, I missed!

It's okay.

High five.

(laughs)

Wes would not be happy you just let me do that.

(laughs)

[Austin's Voice] Wes would not be happy

you just let me do that. (laughs)

- Are you happy, Wes?

(Austin laughs) - No.