George Graham's first signing on Dhe, the X Q B R goalkeeper who went on to be in England and are still great.

Obviously, in the late eighties early nineties, you played through a golden era for the club.

You want a lot.

You celebrated lot.

But we know now when probably knew at the time that certain individuals yourself included poll.

We haven't really tough time, so that's the point of this really two to maybe say things that weren't said at the time and look behind the trophies, look behind the smiles and see how people really felt.

I suppose you join in 1990?

Yeah, What's your first impression?

I just wasn't what you expected.

I love being at the club.

It was bad than I expected.

But together miss that flat out.

It was brilliant, you know?

And they just went yet coming.

You know, I'm not joined in and I start going out and stuff.

That's what we always used to do.

We always used to do it together, so it made the unit stronger.

Andi, we just wanted to win.

We wanted to win stuff, all right?

We didn't do it the most attractive way.

But like Carrie says no way like someone.

Period.

May I ask you now?

You come in.

Total.

You've never had a drink before using drink.

So how did it feel for you?

Like we all went out and then you start coming out.

Just you feel you had to come out very, very well.

We'll discuss the thief is peer pressure.

Yeah.

You felt like Well, I got a minute.

I have got to go.

I mean, I love the Don't get me wrong, You know?

I see it now.

My life completely different When I was 2021 22.

23.

I loved it.

I loved it.

It was the dream, you know, going out like Brad Pitt Jr made.

Even though you never look like, rapidly plan for the best team in the country.

You come looking when you play.

Honestly, I mean, it was That was fact.

And it was on.

I loved it.

It's completely different out.

But you only know that kind of situation as you get older, but because it's all mask got put on a smiley face and behind the scenes, you know, you just lost all my money.

You know, there's got to be a big story breaking in the paper next week about you ever guild issues.

With three weeks before that, you sold this story.

All that stuff is on your new ain't got nobody to talk to.

Not a soul, because if you start sent, someone got some ink indoors, maybe seizes on me back.

Oh, I've got found out.

You don't like showing weakness to anybody that because you get you get ripped apart.

One okay, when you would get would get rich.

But, I mean, I used to call I mean, I'm nickname social because a lot of time he sound gone.

Now I'm gone fishing.

John.

May I call him so sure.

I never socialize with anyone, Never socializes with anybody.

And, you know, it was taking the Mick.

Really?

It was.

And you look back now and you think Well, why do you have to come out, John?

I mean, you know, because I always used to go the other way.

I used to see it's like electricity.

I like to go.

I used to lie on a couch and go walk on the big island.

Smith, please.

Why can't I be like You mean normal?

Yeah.

Why?

What was it a challenge like that?

What's that?

He lived his life like I wanted to live my life.

And I couldn't.

Because of everything that was going on, it finished training.

Always be happily married.

Always.

It always seemed content.

You know, I was never content with never any terminal.

First, he didn't have to get up in the paper every Sunday morning and go if you had a, you know, a psychological problem or you're struggling meant that was seen as being awakened.

She would not say that anybody in your great you say if you talk to somebody.

But back then we didn't know to talk to you, Tonto.

If I came to you, we're going on a Tuesday and I said, like, 12 o'clock.

We gotta get ready.

Go.

Not me.

Funny.

Must have been having a bit of stuff that should we do.

Like it's got a degree.

Whatever.

You think you could go in the papers that I'm banking trouble.

You've got that.

I'm not being funny.

You will have your behalf.

Give I five.

You would not be a horrible talking like 20 or years ago now, but you would You'd find the lair issue.

Be shouting across the roses in trouble papers tomorrow.

T o you run to the paper shop in the morning to get him to get you thinking that sound.

It's not me.

You go through the whole of our team.

Alan Smith for Nigel Winterburn are the only two still married.

Everybody else is divorced.

Divorce rates are high Retired football?

Yes.

And you?

Three examples of that which, without being too personal.

Yeah.

Why do you think it is?

Why is that right?

Hi.

Selfishly myself in my own little bubble in them days as well.

But you're getting married 2020 ones.

You know yourself.

You know someone else?

I think George wanted Children just to settle down way being on the phone, right?

Exactly.

And that they wanted that when you know you've made a mistake and you are gonna pay all over the front pages and you know that's coming for your mental health wise that life.

Oh, I want to kill myself enough time through it.

I mean, you can't explain.

And you can't talk to anybody you want.

Tell you try.

You try and find a place where you can go where nobody's going to see you.

Yeah, I Sometimes with people waiting outside the door, I used a living outside miles living outside, constantly pulling up.

It's just white and white.

You just didn't have anybody to talk to.

Plus, then you're telling yourself what bad.

Then I pull up a work and I would literally go right, lad?

How's your way?

All right.

And it be laughing and joking.

No, I never looked at me and went, Oh, you're not well, no one.

No one did.

So when you spoke a few weeks ago about feeling suicidal, competitive, maybe 94 when you first have to public the two reactions, how different are they?

This one the one recently, just over a year ago was worse because I knew 94.

I didn't really know.

I just thought it was the Norm Archer's fault.

This is This is the way I'm built.

I know I deserve better now, John May well before your fault.

Yeah.

So all that grief and hassle that you get You think were self inflicted.

Why should I get any sympathy wherever it may not be big yourself up?

Get yourself up.

Is that why you felt so about a second time?

Because you knew you'd run through all that.

But yeah, maybe.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, you know, I you know, because I still forget it is owning over the last year, he's like, I know I was healed and I was in a bad person.

I wasn't bad.

I was just just an ill person.

Who?

It was a nice wedding when he when he had a drinking and gambling.

Yeah, different, but personally, yeah, over the last year, I deserve my life.

Now before I used to think I got a great job.

You know, I used to hate I said it before.

I've only just come to terms with people coming up to me And God.

What play you were What plan?

Go.

Thank you.

Before I used to go.

No, no, no.

No way.

No, I'm not a nice person.

You should be talking nicely about me like that.

Now I just come to terms now.

We'll go.

Thank you.

But I feel worthy now.

I didn't feel worthy.

What about for you, Perry?

I don't just pretend it pulls the only one with a court date.

You retarded 20 but got injured at 27.

28 then retired like it took me two years and it comes to 30.

But when you get to 30 and then you don't you always think you're indestructible, being pretty flippant, I got to say, I thought half retired, semi retired.

I was just one and go for a for a year.

I just want to get drunk for you.

But when you look back, you just think Where was you trying like Marth?

Something I just thought after having a great time.

And then what do you think now?

I think it was a bit of masking going home.

Don't you have a great time but not necessary from ex wife?

We regret that we got divorced and then after that year, then you just think the rewards were real World's kicking.

And I've gotten an actor can work out to go and do what I call a proper job.

I've got to bring boys versus Andrew after Look, I have to pay for them.

Summer focused then went into making sure they're okay.

What about the challenges in your life, David?

You seem very serene, like, Yeah, you did on the pitch, you do off it.

But is that the truth?

Is that the real you?

Yeah.

More or less.

You know, it's just It's just the way I'm you know, people say Well, yeah, but you look so late back, and you know, I'm no, I'm okay.

You know?

Obviously be not being divorced twice, you know?

So there's there's other stuff that went on there, but yeah, I was I was ready for retirement, you know, I wanted to get light, or Perry said I wanted to get back to be normal, because even what message?

When you said you were from accounts of a council estate, you know, I was from a terraced house.

That working class boys.

Yeah.

You know, I wouldn't have been an inside toilet or bathroom until I was 14 you know?

So I was brought up without money.

Then all of a sudden, you get a lot of money without that thing just of being a goalkeeper.

Always remember Steve Harper saying to make people don't realize how tough.

It is just that little thing every time you're the guy picks the ball out of the net.

And obviously your career was unbelievable.

But the work big ghosts.

Yeah, fine.

It's gonna cost you double the Oh, God, I hate snakes generally, todo.

So how did that affect?

Does they fight me a law?

Because you feel like you've let everybody down.

But I think being a goalkeeper helps you in life as well, Because you make these mistakes and you recover.

And you have to recover.

Because if you if you make that mistake in the 1st 5 minutes and you're erect for the rest of the game, it could really be bad for the team.

And so, like, maybe I don't know, it's just meet me.

Use that, like, in your divorce is where you just went.

What?

I'm strong enough to get on and get on with it.

But that's why did I moved on, You know, I knew that he wasn't right where I waas, so I moved on, you know?

I don't know.

It affected a lot of people.

Yeah, but I have to be selfish to 2000 to 91 when you've made a big mistake.

You feel like it cost your team.

How did you go about picking yourself back up again?

Um, that's it.

Just by doing this stuff that I wanted a lot of time, I would take myself away that lead to go fishing or golfing, you know?

And then just Thio think about stuff.

But it was It wasn't something I did purposely, because light, you've made these mistakes.