You're an entrepreneur.

You really want to grow your business.

You want to serve a certain number of customers.

You wanna have certain revenues coming in because if all of that happens, you think you're going to feel a certain way.

And you really want to feel that way.

Your friends, colleagues society will look at you a certain way that that's good.

That's what I want.

It is an attempt to control your in wired.

Everything that you do is in some way shape, fashion or form and attempt to control your environment.

Well, I have some news for you.

You do not have control.

You never had control.

You never will have control.

What you have is the illusion off control.

The illusion off control comes about because in your life you have set a goal for yourself and you've said, you know, here's my goal And if I do all of these things and I'm actually going to achieve Michael and guess what, you succeeded and you did this many times in your life and each time you succeeded and so you think, G, I really can do it.

I can do it.

I have control.

And not only have you done it, but you've observed others around you and they seem to have done it.

And they got the results.

They want it.

So all off that combined to tell you.

Yes, I can do it.

I have control.

That is the infusion off control.

Now I'm not knocking the illusion of control.

It is a wonderful creation.

That's what makes you get up in the morning and strive and do all of the things that give meaning to your life on accomplishment.

But it's wonderful to use the illusion of control, knowing that that is the illusion of control.

Because when it breaks down and it will sooner or later in every one of your lives you don't go to pieces.

You simply say are this is where the illusion broke down.

Where do I go from here?

So, given the truth that you never have control, you never had it.

How can you eliminate stress and cultivate resilience?

Well, im or to share some concepts with you.

Concept number one is mental chatter, which is the internal monologue that you have going on in your head all the time.

It begins when you get up in the morning.

Is with you right through the day is with you now when you should be listening to my chatter instead of yours.

But in the short time I've been speaking, how many?

If you've already gone someplace else, what am I gonna have?

Lines?

Who do I have to call, right?

I rest my case.

Mental chatters Always being with you.

It's like an unwelcome related We've shown up in your house and you can't throw him out.

So you live your life as best you can, despite your mental chatter.

You ignore him, suppress him, work around him.

A big mistake.

And the reason is the mistake is because you don't live a real life.

You live and artificial life on this artificial life is constructed with your mental chatter.

Then we have mental models, and a mental model is the notion you have that This is the way the world works.

But this is not the way the world works.

That's your model of this, the way the world works and the more you believe in your model of this is the way the world works.

More evidence you seem to get this, in fact, is the way the world works.

And very soon your built a silo around yourself that so thick you can break out.

We spend too much off our emotional energy on the 23 or four things that we think are wrong in our lives.

And the entirely ignored the 30 40 5200 things you're pretty done good in our lives.

Everybody in this room is incredibly privileged.

And when I pointed out, you do recognize that you don't have to bother about, but they're gonna have lunch today.

Don't have to bother about whether you have a roof over your head or a bed to sleep in.

So when I point out loud, you say yes.

Yes, and you do recognize your you are incredibly privileged.

The problem is, you don't feel that you were incredibly privileged.

You feel that you were put upon flip this around consciously and do this preferably, you know, just before you go to bed, think about the many things in your life that are actually pretty done.

Good.

I've got to tell you that if you're a type a person who lives in your head, and I'm sure this room is full of Type A people who live in their heads, you have a tendency to think gratitude rather than feel gratitude so you can't go good health.

Check bed to sleep in.

Check roof overhead.

Check.

It doesn't work that way.

You have to feel it rather than think it.

So if you're a type a person who lives in your head, then it'll take some doing before you get to the point where you actually feel the crack.

If you'd rather than think the press and when you get up in the morning, don't go immediately to the space of Oh my God, there's too much to do and I don't have enough time to do it all.

Go instead back to that space of appreciation, gratitude and eventually want to get to the point where your default emotional domain is appreciation and gratitude.

Now let me give you a little bit advanced portion off the same exercise.

We begin by being grateful for the many good things that we have in our life.

But I do recognize that whatever you are grateful for can go away.

You're grateful for good health.

You get hit by a truck and you're a quadriplegic.

Eventually, I would like you to be in a place where you're not grateful for something.

You are just grateful, period.

And that is when you find that your life truly has been transformed.

You know, a few 100 years Galileo got into trouble because they can have postulated that perhaps the sun doesn't move around the earth.

The earth moves around the sun.

Every single one of you is convinced that Galleria got it wrong.

The Earth does not move around the sun.

It revolves around you personally.

Think about how, no matter what happens, you very quickly bring it down.

To what?

The impact on me.

Your spouse gets a great job offer and se gi.

How's this going to affect our relationship?

Your boss leaves the company se gi.

Who's the new person going to be?

And what's my relationship going to be with that person?

Or possibly am I going to get promoted?

Or is that or is it that turkey down the hall that's living in a ME centered universe?

And here's what you need to know if that is where you spend most of your time.

If that is where you predominantly live, you are going to live a life of mediocrity punctuated with flashes of pleasure with essentially meaningless.

It just comes with the territory.

That is the way it is.

The only way you're going to be able to bust out of that is if you can find a cause which is bigger than you are, because which brings a greater good to create a community.

And you have tremendous flexibly, dean defining both the greater good on the greater community.

But unless you can find something which is bigger than you are, that brings a greater good to a greater community.

And in the pursuit of which you can subsume your identity, you're gonna live a video of existence.