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  • There's a big political scandal

  • involving Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau.

  • And you may remember that Trudeau just survived

  • another scandal when he was busted for doing brown-face

  • 20 years ago at an Aladdin party.

  • But this time, my friends,

  • Trudeau may have really gone too far.

  • NEWSWOMAN: Some doughnut drama for Justin Trudeau.

  • The only-in-Canada controversy started with the prime minister

  • tweeting a photo of himself carrying boxes

  • from the Oh Doughnuts shop in Winnipeg

  • to help fuel a wintertime cabinet meeting.

  • Some on social media praised Trudeau

  • for supporting a local business.

  • Others criticized him for buying about $200 worth

  • of elitist doughnuts

  • instead of hitting the local Tim Hortons

  • at about a third of the price.

  • (laughter)

  • Really, Canada?

  • That's your scandal?

  • Your prime minister brought the wrong doughnuts?

  • If this shit pisses you off,

  • you guys wouldn't last a day with Donald Trump.

  • (laughter, cheering)

  • -Doughnuts? -(applause)

  • I can't even believe that's a thing.

  • Let me tell you something now. If Trump had a doughnut scandal,

  • he'd make it a real scandal.

  • He'd be like, "Yes, I had sex with that doughnut.

  • (laughter, groans)

  • But only because it promised me dirt on Joe Biden."

  • Also, I love how some Canadians are upset

  • because they say Trudeau didn't go to the local doughnut shop.

  • Tim Hortons. That's what they said.

  • They said, "Why did you go to this elitist place

  • instead of the local Tim Hortons?"

  • Okay, there's nothing local about Tim Hortons, all right?

  • It's a giant corporation. Right?

  • When these people go to McDonald's, are they like,

  • "Oh, anything I can do to help out my neighborhood clown."

  • I will say, though, Justin Trudeau should be

  • a little careful with these doughnuts. Yeah.

  • 'Cause he could start eating a chocolate one,

  • get a little bit of the frosting on his face, yeah,

  • and then go to wipe it off, and then it's everywhere,

  • and then he's just like: ♪ I can show you the world... ♪

  • (laughter)

  • All right, let's move on

  • to some news from the world of tech.

  • Tinder. It's the app that helps you find that special someone

  • you could be with for the rest of your night.

  • -(laughter) -And now, after years of getting people laid,

  • Tinder is now trying to get people safe.

  • Well, the popular dating app Tinder

  • is unveiling new safety features today.

  • They include a photo verification system,

  • a panic button, and the ability to call authorities

  • to their exact location.

  • Tinder will use this technology as part of its safety features.

  • Critics have complained that Tinder has not done enough

  • in the past to screen out scammers and assault suspects.

  • Yay. Good job, Tinder.

  • No, seriously, anytime you can make dating more safe,

  • that's something you should do.

  • I just hope this feature isn't too Tinder-y, you know?

  • If you can, like, call for help on Tinder,

  • I hope it's, like, just help.

  • I hope it's not like, "I need help! Send a cop!

  • "No, not him. No, not him.

  • "No, not him.

  • Yeah, I guess. He's okay, okay, okay. Okay."

  • And I do think it's a good feature,

  • but I know some people are gonna abuse it.

  • You know, like, you know Mike Pence would be hitting

  • that panic button all the time.

  • Just be like, "Help me. My woman date is wearing pants.

  • Come soon!"

  • But now that Tinder and Uber both have panic buttons,

  • I feel like every app should have them.

  • You know? Every app.

  • Like, if you're on Instagram, and you accidentally like

  • your ex's three-month-old photo,

  • you should be able to hit a button

  • and then they send a team to help you start a new life.

  • All right, moving on.

  • The World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland,

  • is wrapping up, and one of the stars of the event was

  • climate activist Greta Thunberg, who blasted politicians

  • for continuing to ignore global warming.

  • But now one of Trump's minions is firing back.

  • NEWSWOMAN: U.S. Treasure Secretary Steve Mnuchin

  • unleashes a verbal attack

  • on teen climate activist Greta Thunberg.

  • Both are at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland.

  • She said in a speech, she wants businesses worldwide

  • to stop investing in fossil fuels.

  • Mnuchin told reporters, considering her an economist

  • is a joke, and she needs to come back

  • after she goes to college and gets an economics degree.

  • Yeah. Steve Mnuchin, U.S. Treasury Secretary

  • and skin-covered stapler,

  • says that Greta should go to school

  • before she comments on the global economy.

  • That's what he said. Those were his words.

  • Like, "Why don't you go to school, Greta,

  • before you comment on the economy."

  • And that doesn't make any sense, because since when does

  • the Trump administration listen to anyone with an education?

  • -(laughter) -That makes no difference.

  • Seriously, this is not a White House that cares

  • about qualifications, right?

  • Their education secretary has no education experience.

  • They put a sleepy doctor in charge of all urban housing.

  • And the current head of the EPA was a coal lobbyist.

  • Right? Forget an environmental science degree.

  • This dude probably can't even do basic bird-watching.

  • Yeah, he wouldn't know the difference

  • between a red-breasted merganser and a yellow-bellied sapsucker,

  • you bird-ignorant mother (bleep).

  • (laughter)

  • I mean, for crying out loud, Ivanka, Ivanka Trump

  • is an advisor to the president.

  • What is her expertise? Huh?

  • What is it? Is Trump in a meeting like,

  • "Ivanka, help us out. We have to decide

  • "whether or not to bomb Iran.

  • "You sold shitty jewelry unsuccessfully for ten years.

  • What do you think?"

  • (laughter)

There's a big political scandal

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賈斯汀-特魯多的甜甜圈,Tinder的新更新和Steve Mnuchin vs. Greta Thunberg|每日秀節目 (Justin Trudeau’s Doughnuts, Tinder’s New Updates & Steve Mnuchin vs. Greta Thunberg | The Daily Show)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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