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  • Hey, listen, I don't know if you've been paying attention,

  • but it appears there's going to be a presidential election

  • this year.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Yeah, it's true.

  • And in November, the whole country

  • is going to decide who gets the final rose.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • That's what it's like.

  • And so Democrats are picking a candidate in the primaries.

  • It started Monday with the Iowa caucus,

  • and then it went into Tuesday.

  • Somehow something went wrong with the app

  • that they used to tally the votes.

  • And they couldn't announce the winner.

  • But anything called caucus, you're asking for trouble,

  • I think.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Who names something a caucus?

  • Caucus, caucus.

  • Say caucus, caucus.

  • [AUDIENCE TALKS]

  • Caucus.

  • Say it a few times.

  • Caucus, caucus, caucus, caucus, caucus, caucus.

  • You sound like a bunch of animals.

  • Caucus, caucus.

  • Anyway the last presidential election, less than 60% of us

  • voted.

  • I don't know what the other 40% were doing.

  • But this is all your fault, where we are right now.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • We all need to vote.

  • That's what we need to do.

  • And before you vote, you need to register.

  • It takes two minutes.

  • Even if you think you're registered, just make sure.

  • Do it while I'm talking right now.

  • This is how important this is.

  • Raise-- so usually, I would say, don't leave.

  • Listen to me.

  • Raise the volume on the TV, so you can still

  • hear my hilarious observational comedy.

  • And then go to our website, click on Register to vote.

  • Voting is so easy.

  • For instance, let me show you how easy.

  • We're going to vote right now.

  • Who likes cats?

  • [AUDIENCE CHEERING]

  • Who likes dogs?

  • [AUDIENCE CHEERING]

  • Dogs won.

  • We just voted.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Some people vote for cats, some people vote for dogs.

  • Some people vote for a third, like a turtle or something.

  • They never win.

  • So don't vote for the third thing.

  • I'm not a politician, but I do know a lot of people.

  • What I've noticed is people have opinions.

  • And voting is a perfect way to share your opinion.

  • People also like to complain.

  • And here's what I say, if you don't vote,

  • you're not allowed to complain.

  • Ever.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • About anything.

  • You can't, you can't, you can't complain about anything.

  • Traffic, weather, push-up bras.

  • Nothing, nothing at all.

  • I would like to personally encourage everyone to vote.

  • And here's my proposition.

  • The day after 2020 presidential election,

  • if you can show me that you voted, I will give you $100.

  • Yeah, call me on my cell phone.

  • And if I answer--

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • If I answer, I'll probably say, how the hell

  • did you get my number?

  • And who are you?

  • And what are you talking about?

  • Then you'll remind me, and I'll say, oh, that's right.

  • And if I have $100 on me, I'll give it to you.

  • Now get yourself registered, and on November 3rd,

  • we all have to vote.

Hey, listen, I don't know if you've been paying attention,

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艾倫希望你去投票! (Ellen Wants YOU to Vote!)

  • 1 0
    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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