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  • Coming out of the Iowa primary,

  • the big winners were Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg,

  • and anyone who didn't build that shitty app.

  • And last night in New Hampshire,

  • those top two kept their momentum going.

  • REPORTER: With a win in New Hampshire,

  • Senator Bernie Sanders taking control

  • as the Democratic frontrunner.

  • But not too far behind him,

  • Pete Buttigieg.

  • Despite winning the popular vote

  • in both Iowa and New Hampshire,

  • Sanders is behind in the overall delegate race by two.

  • REPORTER 2: One of the night's other big winners,

  • Senator Amy Klobuchar, who took third place.

  • She capitalized on the moment

  • by reintroducing herself to the country.

  • Hello, America.

  • I'm Amy Klobuchar,

  • and I will beat Donald Trump.

  • Yes, last night may have been the best night

  • for Bernie Sanders since he won that free cruise on Noah's ark.

  • But New Hampshire's biggest surprise was Amy Klobuchar,

  • who burst into the national spotlight

  • with a third place finish.

  • And the timing couldn't be better for Klobuchar.

  • Because, in many ways, you see,

  • the presidential campaigns are like getting drunk at a party.

  • Right? You want to peak at the right time.

  • See, the other candidates, they had their surge last year,

  • which was too early.

  • It's like getting wasted at 6:00 p.m.

  • Yeah. Because by the time the party's really going,

  • you're puking in the bushes, like... (retching) "I'm so...

  • "I'm so sorry I didn't pace myself. (cries)

  • I promise I'll do better in South Carolina."

  • So there's no denying that New Hampshire was great

  • for Amy Klobuchar's campaign,

  • and it was also a great night

  • for newspeople who love wordplay.

  • Senator Amy Klobuchar rode the Klo-mentum.

  • Are you feeling Klo-mentum?

  • Klo-mentum is real, and she has it.

  • A Kloba-surge.

  • -Klo-mentum. -Klo-mentum.

  • Klo-mentum. Klobu-charged. Klobu-surge.

  • They call it Klo-motion.

  • Is there Klo-mentum?

  • Oh! This is fun. I want to try, I want to try.

  • It's Klo-bbering time!

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • She gave them the old Klope-a-dope. (chuckles)

  • Yeah. New Hampshire has an outbreak of Klo-mydia.

  • -(chuckles) -(gasping, laughter)

  • All right, I'm done, I'm done.

  • I'm done. I'm done.

  • She killed it like Klo J. Simpson!

  • -Okay, I'm done, I'm done! -(gasping, laughter)

  • I'm done, I'm done. No more.

  • No more, no more. No more.

  • (laughter)

  • So, for Bernie, Buttigieg, and Klobuchar,

  • New Hampshire was a dream.

  • But, unfortunately, for some other big-name candidates,

  • it turned into a nightmare.

  • REPORTER: Another major New Hampshire headline,

  • the candidates who fell far behind,

  • including long-time national frontrunner Joe Biden

  • and Senator Elizabeth Warren.

  • Both failed to get enough votes to earn any delegates.

  • Before the race was called,

  • Biden, who placed fifth, was on a plane to South Carolina,

  • which will hold the nation's next primary.

  • REPORTER 2: Biden saw the writing on the wall.

  • He had left even before the polls had closed,

  • livestreaming into his campaign's

  • New Hampshire watch party.

  • Ooh. Joe Biden left New Hampshire

  • before the polls were even closed?

  • I mean, I've heard of fans leaving the game early,

  • but you know it's bad when the team leaves early

  • to beat the traffic.

  • The coach is just like, "All right, guys,

  • screw the fourth quarter. Uh, let's just start the bus."

  • I also feel especially bad for Biden supporters. I'll say that.

  • Think about it-- you came all the way out

  • to see your candidate, and then, instead, all you get is a video?

  • Imagine you were in, like, the dentist's chair

  • and your doctor pops up on the screen like,

  • "Aloha from Hawaii.

  • Here are three simple steps to perform your own root canal!"

  • So while Biden supporters wept frozen New Hampshire tears,

  • the man himself was already in South Carolina

  • looking toward the future.

  • REPORTER: Joe Biden spent his night in South Carolina.

  • His campaign is staking survival

  • on his strength with black voters.

  • I want y'all to think of a number!

  • 99.9%.

  • That's the percentage of African American voters

  • who have not yet had a chance to vote in America.

  • Up till now, we haven't heard

  • from the most committed constituents

  • in the Democratic Party,

  • the African-American community.

  • (cheering)

  • That's right. Joe Biden's campaign

  • has basically become a Madea movie.

  • If black people don't turn up, it's toast.

  • And even though he's desperate, Biden does make a good point.

  • It is a little weird. You have to admit, it is a little weird

  • that the story of the Democratic race

  • has now been written by two states

  • that aren't representative of the Democratic Party.

  • Right? Think about it.

  • Two overwhelmingly white states shape

  • who the Democratic nominee will be, right?

  • And that's long before minority voters have had their say.

  • It's almost as if the Democratic party is having a buffet,

  • but then, white people get to pick the menu, you know?

  • And if you're black, that sucks,

  • 'cause you get there, and you're just like, "Man,

  • why the hell is there raisins in everything, man?"

  • (laughter)

  • "And who the (bleep) is Broccoli Rab?"

  • (laughter)

  • So that's where the race stands after two primaries.

  • Buttigieg and Bernie are neck and neck,

  • and all the other candidates are hoping

  • for a boost in Nevada and South Carolina.

  • Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for us

  • to go away for a Klo-mmercial break.

  • Get it?

Coming out of the Iowa primary,

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伯尼在新罕布什爾州獲勝,拜登淡出,科洛布查激增|每日秀 (Bernie Wins New Hampshire, Biden Fades and Klobuchar Surges | The Daily Show)

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