Somanythingslatelythat I just I know I'm tryingtofigureoutmysexuality.
Youhave?
Norightnow I'm gonnatellyoustuff.
Soundsstupidtosaythat, doesn't it?
Because I toldyouhavethiskindofstuff.
Justletitbrewinyourhead.
I don't likeYeah, yes, I'm in a newcountryandtryingtofigureoutmylifetryingtosolvewithwho I amas a personButyetwhen I thinkaboutwho I amas a person, blandiswhatsliceofbreadmayonnaise, justlikejuryisdisgusting.
I justdon't It's like, Oh, sowhat?
What's uniqueabout, youknow, likeoutsidein a quirky, quirkysenseofhumor.
Butwhen I thinkaboutmyself, it's like, Oh, blend.
It's like, Why?
Why?
Don't thinkthat I know.
Awesome.
I'm special.
I'm likenottobeoutmyself, butthatthat's who I am.
I'm I'm cool.
That's I'm supposedtothinkaboutyourself.
Yetdeepdownwethinkaboutit.
I'm unhappy.
I am.
Whyparties?
I don't know.
I likeevenmoredrunklookingpeople a bit.
Beingaroundpeopleisgreat, butwhenthere's a lotofpeopleinwhen I'm notdrunk, ifthere's a lotofpeople, I finditsohardtoconnectwithothers.
I feelveryoverwhelmedand I justwannabebymyself.
Sothat's why I'm hereinthisroom, justgetting a bittoomuchoutthere, eventalkingto a smallgroupofpeople.
I justfeelsolikethemorepeoplemorefeelalone.
It's alwaysfeltlikethat.
Itwasit's highschool.
Yeah, andit's like I spentallofyesterdaywatchingthesevideosfromEnglishYouTubelikeTomScottandwaspulledfrompullsmealltheseshortfilmsintheUKwithmostamazingactorsandbestscripts, andtheymademefeelsomuchtalk.
Suchbeautifulstorieslike I wouldn't lovetodothatwork.
Thatworkisjustno, but I'm scared.
I can't runthatscript I can't dothatwillhaveseen.
I mean, I'm sure I couldgetmybloodyoldmanthoseactors.
Andyethere I amjust I wanttoslapupmessingaround, messingaround.
No, I livehere.
I needtocreatemywork.
I wouldlovetodofilms, butfilmslikeStardoesn't work.
Kickpage a dozenpeoplethatthey'vegotgoodconnectionsUKhumorous, justpoints, senseofstoriesjustonpointandhaveallthesedreamsandallthesehopesandallthesethingsthat I'm likeOkay, that's a skillthat I have.
Okay, that's what I canworkon.
That's what I cando.
Andyetmychannelisjustmetalkingto a camera, and I knowthat's what I wantedtodoand I knowthat's what I wanttodo I startedbecause I wasactingand I neededsomewheretogetoutofcharacterandjusttohave a conversationwithoutresponsive, justneededsomeonetotalkandreadingthatpeopleinallmylifeandjustbehonest.