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  • Dear John Malkovich,

    親愛的約翰麥克維奇

  • John, I gotta admit I was pretty pissed off when you blocked me outa yore email, especially

    約翰,我得承認,當你把我從你的郵箱裡屏蔽掉的時候,我非常生氣,尤其是... ...

  • after I spent YEARS emailin' you all them great movie-plot ideas that coulda made you

    在我花了幾年的電子郵件' 你所有這些偉大的電影情節的想法,可以讓你

  • a even bigger-time matinee idol than you already is. Bein' a Hollywood bigshot an' all, maybe

    一個更大的時間日場偶像比你已經是。Bein'好萊塢的大人物和'所有,也許是。

  • YOU can just sit down at some fancy laptop and drink one of them air-bubbled coffee thangs

    你可以坐下來在一些高級的筆記本電腦,喝其中的一個空氣氣泡的咖啡比格斯

  • and knock out an e-mail any time you feel like it, but I got ta wait 'til the graveyard

    敲出一個電子郵件,任何時候你覺得喜歡它, 但我得等39;直到墓地。

  • shift nurse ducks inta the broom closet with one o' the guards. This not only puts me under

    輪班護士和一個警衛一起躲進了掃帚間。這不僅使我下

  • whatchacall a serious time constraint, but imagine tryin' ta figger out a complicated

    什麼叫一個嚴重的時間限制,但想象一下試圖' ta弄清楚一個複雜的。

  • movie-plot idea while yer listenin' to a 200-pound Mexican woman and a steroid freak ten feet

    電影情節的想法,而你聽著'一個200磅的墨西哥女人和一個類固醇怪胎十英尺。

  • from yer head makin' noises like they was stranglin' a sack full o' puppies. This damn

    從你的頭makin'的聲音,就像他們是勒死'一袋滿'小狗。這該死的

  • medication ain't helpin' much, either.

    藥物治療是'沒有幫助'多,要麼。

  • So I got a buddy o' mine ta put up this website for me, an' from now on, EVER-damned-body

    所以我找了個哥們兒幫我建了這個網站,從現在開始,再也不用被人罵了

  • on the planet is gonna be able ta see the QUALITY of the top-notch stuff I been sendin'

    在這個星球上是要去能夠看到的品質 頂級的東西,我一直在發送&#39。

  • ya. (The movie ideas, I mean, not them three different pairs o' panties that nurse fergot

    雅。(電影的想法,我的意思是,不是他們三個不同的對o'內褲,護士fergot。

  • ta pick up. Me, I don't roll that way, if ya catch my drift, I jist figgered what with

    撿起。我,我不這樣做,如果你明白我的意思,我只是想知道什麼與

  • you gittin' older an' all, ya probly don't git as much stuff like that in the mail no

    你gittin'老的'所有,雅probly不'不git一樣多的東西,像在郵件沒有

  • more.)

    更多)。)

  • Anyhow, FERGIT all them other ideas I sent ya, 'cause this is the BIG ONE, baby! Now

    無論如何,FERGIT所有其他的想法,我送你,'導致這是一個大的,寶貝!現在

  • follow my reasonin' here. Hollywood's been rakin' it in fer years with all them musicals,

    按照我的推理'在這裡。好萊塢的一直rakin'它在fer年與所有這些音樂劇。

  • but GUYS don't go to musicals unless their wives or girlfriends keep bitchin' and whinin'

    但夥計們不'去音樂劇,除非他們的妻子或女朋友保持婊子'和抱怨&#39。

  • about it till they just give up. But see, I got this theory that it ain't the musicals

    關於它,直到他們只是放棄。但是,我有這樣的理論,它不是音樂劇

  • themselves that guys don't like, it's just that they're always about some wishy-washy

    自己的傢伙不'不喜歡,它'只是他們'總是關於一些wishy-washy的

  • shit an' they got a bunch of faggoty characters who almost NEVER actually git to KILL anybody,

    狗屎和'他們得到了一群基佬字元 誰幾乎從來沒有真正的git殺死任何人。

  • let alone git to, say, rip Doris Day's blouse off! Puttin' it plain an' simple, guys hate

    更不用說去,說,撕開多麗絲-戴的上衣了!放置'它樸素的一個'簡單,男人恨

  • musicals 'cause there ain't no tits OR body count in 'em!

    音樂劇'因為沒有'沒有山雀或身體計數在'他們!

  • Wellsir, I got a way to fix ALL that. I got a rough script here for a musical version

    Wellsir,我有辦法解決所有的問題。我這裡有一個音樂劇版的粗略劇本

  • of "The Alamo". Picture the John Wayne version, except

    的"阿拉莫"。想象一下約翰-韋恩的版本,除了

  • there's a lot of tap dancin' an' shit, but the Mexicans still get to use them godawful-lookin'

    有'很多踢踏舞'an'狗屎,但墨西哥人仍然得到使用他們的神情&#39。

  • six-foot bayonets on damned near everybody. I figger now that that Riverdance craze has

    六尺長的刺刀刺向幾乎所有的人。我想,現在那股河舞熱潮已經

  • about wore down, we can git them Irish jokers cheap, stick 'em in some coonskin caps an'

    我們可以給他們便宜的愛爾蘭笑話,給他們戴上浣紗帽

  • git 'em runnin' a conga line all over some run-down adobe church.

    在一些破舊的土坯教堂裡排起了康加線。

  • I had Steve Buscemi in mind for General Santana, maybe George Clooney for Davy Crockett (in

    我心目中的史蒂夫-布西米飾演桑塔納將軍,喬治-克魯尼飾演戴維-克羅克特(在...)。

  • between blowin' the shit outa Mexicans we can have him lip-synch some sappy shit about

    我們可以讓他給墨西哥人吹簫,讓他對口型唱出一些關於

  • how all he wants to do is be home with the old lady pickin' out curtains), and Ice Cube

    如何所有他想做的是在家與老太太pickin' 出窗簾),和冰塊。

  • for Jim Bowie (at the end, he can hold his flintlock pistols SIDEWAYS when he shoots

    吉姆-鮑伊(在最後,他可以拿著他的燧發槍側向射擊時,他的手槍。

  • 'em, an' you know all them inner-city people LOVE shit like that).

    '他們,an'你知道所有這些內城人都喜歡這樣的狗屎)。)

  • Now, the way I see it, we ain't got no CHOICE for the female lead but that Sigourney Weaver

    在我看來,除了西格妮-韋弗,我們沒有選擇女主角的機會

  • gal. Cut the sleeves off some skin-tight black longjohns, dump a bucket of water on her so

    女孩。剪掉一些緊身黑色長褲的袖子, 把一桶水倒在她身上,所以

  • her nipples pucker, give her a flamethrower or somethin', an' at the end she can do some

    她的乳頭撅起,給她一個火焰噴射器或什麼東西,在結束時,她可以做一些。

  • tearjerkin' song about how women need to git empowered an' then she grabs a torch an' dives

    這首歌講述了女性如何需要得到授權,然後她拿起火炬,潛水。

  • into a vat full of Mexicans AND gasoline. Yeah, I know she prob'ly can't sing for jacksquat,

    到一個大桶滿墨西哥人和汽油。是啊,我知道她可能'LY不能唱的Jacksquat。

  • but we can always dub in Celine Dion or Cyndi Lauper or somebody. (If Sigourney ain't available,

    但我們總是可以在席琳-迪翁或辛迪-勞珀或某人配音。(如果西格妮不在的話)

  • maybe we can git that Daphne gal from "Frasier".)

    也許我們可以從"Frasier"中找到那個Daphne女孩。)

  • John, this could be BIG, an' ya know I'm always lookin' out for ya, buddy, so I saved a PLUM

    約翰,這可能是大的,'你知道我'我總是看'出來為你,哥們,所以我保存了一個PLUM。

  • role fer you personally. You git to play that Colonel Travis joker, an' that's right up

    角色為你個人。你要扮演特拉維斯上校的小丑,這是對的。

  • yore alley 'cause I know you got a thang fer swords AND ruffled shirts, an' this time you

    我知道你對劍和荷葉邊的襯衫有興趣

  • don't have to wear one o' them godawful white wigs an'

    不要戴一個O'他們 godawful白色假髮和&#39。

  • stuff shit up yer nose to make ya sneeze an' all that other medieval French horseshit.

    東西狗屎了你的鼻子,讓你打噴嚏和'所有其他中世紀的法國胡扯。

  • An' ya git to die with some dignity for a change,

    你得有尊嚴地死去

  • instead o' jist gittin' yore ass blown out of a glass elevator or somethin'.

    而不是'Jist gittin'yore ass blown out of a glass elevator or somethin'。

  • Anyhow, now that I got this-here innernet site, you kin jist type yer replies right

    總之,現在我有了這個互聯網網站,你就可以直接打出你的回覆了。

  • inta the comments. (Use that secret code phrase I emailed ya, so's I'll know it's really you.)

    inta的評論。(用我發郵件給你的那個祕密暗號,這樣's我就知道是你了。)

  • But lookee-here, John, I ain't gonna keep ON sendin' ya my blockbuster ideas much longer

    但聽著,約翰,我不會再給你寄去我的大片創意了。

  • if I don't git a in-vite ta the Left Coast purty soon now.

    如果我不盡快得到左岸的邀請函的話

  • Oh, shit, he's finishin' her off, so I gotta go!

    哦,媽的,他要把她幹掉,所以我得走了!

  • Sincerely,

    真誠的,

  • Bubba Joe Jim Bob Beets, Jr. Big-Time Hollywood Screenwriter

    布巴-喬-吉姆-鮑勃-比茨,小。好萊塢大牌編劇

Dear John Malkovich,

親愛的約翰麥克維奇

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