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Here we will speak about the etiquette of the holiday meal.
今天我們要來聊聊感恩節大餐的用餐禮儀
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Here are the ingredients of the meal.
首先是食材的部分
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The flesh of a dead bird.
死鳥一隻
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These are brussel sprouts: they are nature's turd.
這是球芽甘藍,可以說是大自然的糞便
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They taste like tiny turds.
嚐起來和糞沒兩樣
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This is what you do with brussel sprouts.
這是球芽甘藍的正確吃法
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It is good etiquette.
真有禮貌呀
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This is stuffing: it is made of bread and vegetables.
這是用鮮蔬和麵包製成的內餡
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It is called stuffing because it was stuffed into the anus of a dead bird.
之所以叫餡料是因為它「餡」在死鳥的屁眼裡
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Delicious.
好吃
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A legume... Billy has made a penis out of the legume.
一根豆莢。比利用它做出陰莖形狀
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That is bad etiquette.
這樣子不禮貌呦
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Billy should be sent to his room.
比利應該被關在房間面壁思過
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By contrast, here Billy makes a penis on accident.
不過,比利這次不是故意的
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He quickly fixes his mistake; that is good etiquette.
他趕緊修正錯誤,好有禮貌
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Now you don't have to go to your room, Billy.
比利你不用去房間面壁思過了
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Here are cranberries and a mash of potato.
這個是蔓越莓佐馬鈴薯泥
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What has Billy hidden under his mash? Look, it's the cranberry.
比利在他的馬鈴薯泥下面藏了什麼呢?快看,是蔓越莓耶
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He is being silly.
他在耍白癡
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Look at the nice way that Billy has arranged his food on the plate.
看看比利擺盤擺得真好
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Now he has arranged it by colors...he is being creative.
現在他用顏色區分,好有創意
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Look, Billy is not very hungry now and he still makes a nice plate.
你看,就算比利不餓,他還是堅持要擺好盤
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Look at the tiny bites he has made.
看他把食物分成小口小口的
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Now he has made a food pyramid.
現在他又做了一個食物金字塔
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Billy has no friends.
比利沒有朋友
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He has separated his food. He is an obsessive.
他把食物分開。他有強迫症
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Maybe he writes computer programs.
或許是他平常寫電腦程式的關係
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Billy is acting like an idiot. He is playing with his food.
比利的舉止像個傻瓜。他正在玩弄他的食物
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He has made a bad drawing on his plate.
他餐盤上的畫作奇醜
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Billy needs therapy.
他需要看醫生治療一下
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He has made a nice drawing. Billy doesn't need therapy now.
比利又做出一幅美好的圖畫了。他不需要治療了
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Here is the correct way of using your eating utensil.
這樣使用餐具才是正確的
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This is the wrong way. This is bad etiquette.
這樣是錯的。不端莊
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Billy makes a divot in his mash for his gravy.
比利在馬鈴薯泥中挖了個洞,淋上肉汁
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He is sexually frustrated.
他性慾不滿
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Billy went on a date. Look at how he applies his gravy now.
比利去約會了。看看他現在是怎樣淋上肉汁的
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Now Billy is addicted to pornography.
現在比利 A 片成癮了
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He doesn't like the salad. It reminds him of death.
他不喜歡沙拉。這讓他想到死亡
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Now it's time for pie. Billy takes a small piece.
吃派的時間到囉。比利拿了一小片
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How much is left? How much pie is left?
還剩多少呢?還剩多少派呢?
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Here is a graph. May I have some whip please?
如圖所示。可以給我打些奶油嗎?
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Billy is still addicted to pornography.
比利依舊沉迷 A 片
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He is finished now, and he sees things on his messy plate.
他現在吃完了,然後他在餐盤上看到蛛絲馬跡
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Billy sees the devil.
比利看到死神
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Now he sees something different.
現在他又看見不一樣的了
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He is hallucinating now.
他在幻想中
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The meal is now done, and Billy says
比利吃完了,然後他說
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"Happy Holidays."
「感恩節快樂。」