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  • Everyone has a story,

    每個人都有一個故事。

  • and that story is filled with chapters

    而這個故事是充滿章節的

  • that have made us who we are today.

    使我們成為了今天的我們。

  • Those early chapters of that story

    那故事的早期章節

  • sometimes are the ones that define us the most.

    有時是最能定義我們的人。

  • The Center for Disease Control

    疾病控制中心

  • has estimated that over half of our nation's children

    據估計,我們國家一半以上的兒童'的兒童

  • have experienced at least one or two types of childhood trauma.

    至少經歷過一種或兩種類型的童年創傷;

  • That adversity can have lasting effects.

    逆境可以產生持久的影響。

  • When I began to have opportunities to speak

    當我開始有機會講

  • and advocate for students and for teachers,

    併為學生和教師代言。

  • I found myself uniquely positioned

    我發現自己的位置很獨特

  • to be able to speak about childhood trauma.

    能夠談論童年的創傷。

  • But I had to make a decision first.

    但我得先做個決定。

  • I had to decide,

    我必須做出決定。

  • did I want to just share the bright and shiny parts of my life,

    我是不是隻想分享我生命中亮晶晶的部分。

  • you know, those ones that we put out on social media

    你知道,那些我們在社交媒體上發佈的消息

  • that make us all look perfect,

    讓我們看起來都很完美。

  • or did I want to make myself vulnerable

    還是我想讓自己變得脆弱

  • and become an open book?

    併成為一本開放的書?

  • The choice became very clear.

    選擇變得非常明確。

  • In order to make a difference in the life of a child,

    為了讓孩子的生活有所改變。

  • I had to become transparent.

    我必須變得透明。

  • So I made the commitment to tell my personal story.

    於是,我做出承諾,講述我個人的故事。

  • And this story is filled with people that have loved me

    而這個故事裡,充滿了愛我的人。

  • and taken care of me and grown me.

    並照顧我,讓我成長。

  • And have helped me overcome and heal.

    並幫助我克服和治癒了。

  • And now it's time for me to help others do the same.

    而現在,是時候讓我幫助別人做同樣的事情了。

  • When I first started school, I was the picture of normalcy.

    剛入學時,我是正常人的形象。

  • I was from a good family,

    我來自一個好家庭。

  • I was always dressed nicely,

    我總是穿得很好。

  • had a smile on my face,

    我的臉上露出了笑容。

  • I was prepared for school.

    我為上學做了準備。

  • But my life was anything but normal.

    但我的生活卻不正常。

  • By this time, I had already become a victim of sexual abuse.

    這個時候,我已經成為性虐待的受害者。

  • And it was still happening.

    而這一切還在發生。

  • My parents didn't know,

    我父母不知道

  • and I had not told anyone else.

    而我沒有告訴任何人。

  • When I started school, I felt like this was going to be my safe place.

    當我開始上學時,我覺得這裡將是我的安全之地。

  • So I was excited.

    所以我很興奮。

  • Imagine my dismay when I met my teacher,

    想象一下,當我見到老師的時候,我的沮喪。

  • Mr. Randolph.

    倫道夫先生

  • Now Mr. Randolph was not my abuser.

    現在倫道夫先生不是我的施虐者。

  • But Mr. Randolph was the epitome

    但倫道夫先生是一個縮影。

  • of everything that scared me the most in my life.

    的一切,讓我一生中最害怕的。

  • I had already started these self-preservation techniques

    我已經開始了這些自我保護的技巧。

  • to where I took myself out of positions where I was going to be alone with a man.

    以至於我把自己從要和男人單獨相處的位置。

  • And here I was, as a student,

    而我在這裡,作為一個學生。

  • I was going to be in a classroom with a man every day,

    我每天都要和一個男人在一個教室裡上課。

  • for a year of school.

    為一年的學校。

  • I was scared; I didn't trust him.

    我很害怕,我不信任他。

  • But you know what,

    但你知道嗎?

  • Mr. Randolph would turn out to be my greatest advocate.

    倫道夫先生將成為我最大的代言人。

  • But in the beginning,

    但在一開始。

  • oh, I made sure he knew I did not like him.

    哦,我確保他知道我不喜歡他。

  • I was noncompliant;

    我是不合規的。

  • I was that kid that was disengaged.

    我就是那個不務正業的孩子。

  • And I also made it really hard on my parents, too.

    我也讓我的父母非常難受。

  • I didn't want to go to school,

    我不想去上學。

  • so I fought them every morning, getting on the bus.

    所以我每天早上都會和他們戰鬥,上公車。

  • At night, I couldn't sleep,

    晚上,我睡不著覺'。

  • because my anxiety was so high.

    因為我的焦慮是如此之高。

  • So I was going into class exhausted.

    所以,我是精疲力竭的進了教室。

  • Which, exhausted children are cranky children,

    其中,疲憊的孩子是暴躁的孩子。

  • and they're not easy to teach,

    而他們'不容易教。

  • you know that.

    你知道的

  • Mr. Randolph could have approached me with frustration,

    倫道夫先生可以帶著沮喪的心情來找我。

  • like so many teachers do with students like me.

    就像很多老師對我這樣的學生一樣。

  • But not him.

    但不是他。

  • He approached me with empathy

    他用同情心來接近我

  • and with flexibility.

    並具有靈活性。

  • I was so grateful for that.

    我非常感激。

  • He saw this six-year-old was tired and weary.

    他看到這個六歲的孩子很累,很疲憊。

  • And so instead of making me go outside for recess,

    所以沒有讓我到外面去休息。

  • he would let me stay in and take naps,

    他會讓我呆在家裡睡午覺。

  • because he knew I needed rest.

    因為他知道我需要休息。

  • Instead of sitting at the teacher table at lunch,

    而不是午餐時坐在老師桌前。

  • he would come and sit with the students at the student table.

    他會來和學生坐在學生桌前。

  • He would engage me and all my classmates in conversation.

    他會讓我和所有的同學參與到談話中來。

  • And I now look back and I know

    而我現在回頭看,我知道

  • he had a purpose for that,

    他這樣做是有目的的。

  • he was listening, he was asking questions.

    他在聽,他在問問題。

  • He needed to find out what was going on.

    他需要弄清楚到底發生了什麼。

  • He built a relationship with me.

    他和我建立了關係。

  • He earned my trust.

    他贏得了我的信任。

  • And slowly but surely,

    慢慢地,但肯定。

  • those walls that I had built around myself

    那些我在自己周圍建立的牆

  • he started chipping away at,

    他開始削去。

  • and I eventually realized he was one of the good guys.

    而我最終意識到他是好人之一。

  • I know that he felt like he wasn't enough.

    我知道,他覺得自己還不夠。

  • Because he made the move to talk to my mom.

    因為他做出了和我媽說話的舉動。

  • And got my mom's permission

    並得到了我媽媽的允許

  • to let me start seeing a school guidance counselor,

    讓我開始看到一個學校的輔導員。

  • Ms. McFadyen.

    Ms.McFadyen.

  • I started seeing Ms. McFadyen once or twice a week

    我開始每週去見麥克法迪恩女士一兩次。

  • for the next two years.

    在未來兩年內。

  • It was a process.

    這是一個過程。

  • During that time period,

    在這段時間裡,。

  • I never disclosed to her the abuse,

    我從來沒有向她透露過虐待的情況。

  • because it was a secret;

    因為這是一個祕密。

  • I wasn't supposed to tell.

    我不應該說的。

  • But she connected the dots, I know she did,

    但她把事情聯繫起來了,我知道她做到了。

  • because everything that she did with me

    因為她對我所做的一切

  • was to empower me and help me find my voice.

    是賦予我權力,幫助我找到自己的聲音。

  • She taught me how to use mental images

    她教會了我如何使用心象

  • to push through my fears.

    來克服我的恐懼。

  • She taught me breathing techniques

    她教我呼吸技巧

  • to help me get through those anxiety attacks

    幫助我度過那些焦慮的攻擊

  • that I would have so often.

    我經常會有的。

  • And she role-played with me.

    她還和我一起玩角色扮演。

  • And she made sure

    而且她確保

  • that I could stand up for myself in situations.

    我可以站起來為自己的情況。

  • And the day came

    而這一天的到來

  • where I was in the room with my abuser

    在那裡,我是在房間裡與我的虐待者。

  • and one other adult.

    和另一名成年人。

  • And I told my truth.

    我說的是實話

  • I told about the abuse.

    我告訴了你虐待的事情。

  • Immediately, my abuser began to deny,

    立刻,我的施暴者開始否認。

  • and the person I disclosed to,

    和我透露的人。

  • they just weren't equipped to handle the bombshell

    他們只是不具備處理炸彈的設備

  • that I had just dropped on them.

    我剛剛掉在他們身上的。

  • It was easier to believe the abuser

    更容易相信施暴者

  • rather than a child.

    而不是孩子。

  • So I was told never to speak of it again.

    於是,我被告知再也不要提起這件事。

  • I was made to feel like I had done something wrong, again.

    我又被弄得好像做錯了什麼事一樣。

  • It was devastating.

    這是毀滅性的。

  • But you know what,

    但你知道嗎?

  • something good came out of that day.

    那天有好事發生

  • My abuser knew that I was no longer going to be silent.

    我的施虐者知道,我不會再沉默了。

  • The power shifted.

    權力轉移了。

  • And the abuse stopped.

    虐待也就停止了。

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • But the shame

    但是恥辱

  • and fear of it happening again

    又怕重蹈覆轍

  • remained.

    仍然是。

  • And it would remain with me

    它將一直伴隨著我

  • for many, many years to come.

    在未來的很多很多年裡。

  • Mr. Randolph and Ms. McFadyen,

    Randolph先生和McFadyen女士。

  • they helped me find my voice.

    他們幫我找到了我的聲音。

  • They helped me find the light out.

    他們幫我找到了熄燈的地方。

  • But you know what,

    但你知道嗎?

  • there are so many kids that aren't as fortunate as me.

    有這麼多的孩子不'沒有像我一樣幸運。

  • And you have them in your classrooms.

    而你的教室裡也有他們。

  • That is why it's so important for me to talk to you today,

    這就是為什麼我今天和你說話這麼重要的原因。

  • so you can be aware

    好讓你知道

  • and you can start asking the questions that need to be asked

    然後你就可以開始問那些需要問的問題了。

  • and paying attention to these students,

    並關注這些學生。

  • so you too can help them find their way.

    所以你也可以幫助他們找到自己的方向。

  • As a kindergarten teacher,

    作為一名幼兒園教師。

  • I start my year off

    我開始了我的一年

  • with my kids making box biographies.

    和我的孩子們一起做盒子傳記。

  • These are two of my students.

    這是我的兩個學生。

  • And I encourage them

    我鼓勵他們

  • to fill those boxes with things that tell me about them

    在這些盒子裡裝滿了能告訴我他們的東西。

  • and about their life,

    以及關於他們的生活。

  • what's important to you, you know?

    什麼對你很重要,你知道嗎?

  • They decorate them,

    他們裝飾他們。

  • I mean, they really take time,

    我的意思是,他們真的需要時間。

  • they fill them with pictures of their families and of their pets,

    他們用他們的家庭和寵物的照片來填充。

  • and then I let them present them to me and to the class.

    然後我讓他們向我和全班同學介紹。

  • And during that time, I am an active listener.

    而在這期間,我是一個積極的傾聽者。

  • Because the things they say,

    因為他們說的那些話。

  • the facial expressions that they give me,

    他們給我的面部表情。

  • the things they don't say

    他們不說的事情

  • can become red flags for me

    對我來說是個危險的信號

  • and can help me figure out what their needs are.

    並能幫我弄清楚他們的需求是什麼。

  • What is driving them

    是什麼驅使他們

  • to maybe have the behaviors that they're showing me in class.

    以或許有他們'在課堂上向我展示的行為。

  • How can I be a better teacher

    如何才能成為一個更好的老師

  • by listening to their voices?

    通過傾聽他們的聲音?

  • I also make times to develop relationships with them,

    我也會抽時間和他們發展關係。

  • much like Mr. Randolph did with me.

    就像倫道夫先生對我一樣。

  • I sit with them at lunch,

    午飯時我和他們坐在一起

  • I have conversations with them at recess,

    我在課間休息時與他們對話。

  • I go to their games on the weekends,

    我週末會去看他們的比賽。

  • I go to their dance recitals.

    我去看他們的舞蹈表演。

  • I become a part of their life.

    我成為他們生活的一部分。

  • Because in order to really know a student,

    因為要想真正瞭解一個學生。

  • you've got to infuse yourself into their lives.

    你要把自己注入到他們的生活中去。

  • Now I know some of you are middle school teachers

    我知道你們有些人是中學老師。

  • and high school teachers,

    和高中教師。

  • and you might think that those kids

    你可能會認為,這些孩子

  • have already kind of developed, and you know,

    已經有種發展,你知道的。

  • they're on autopilot at that point.

    他們'在這一點上是自動駕駛。

  • But don't be deceived.

    但不要被騙了'。

  • Especially the kids that you think have it all together,

    特別是那些你認為有的孩子,他們都是有的。

  • because those are the ones that might need you the most.

    因為這些人可能是最需要你的人。

  • If you were to look at my yearbook,

    如果你看了我的年鑑。

  • you would see me on about every page,

    你會看到我在每個頁面上。

  • because I was involved in everything.

    因為我參與了一切。

  • I even drove a school bus.

    我甚至開過校車。

  • (Laughs)

    (笑)

  • So I was that kid

    所以我就是那個孩子

  • that teachers thought was the overachiever,

    那個老師認為是超常發揮的人。

  • the popular person,

    人氣的人。

  • the one that had it together.

    一個有它在一起。

  • But guys, I was lost.

    但是夥計們,我迷路了。

  • I was lost,

    我迷路了。

  • and I wanted someone to ask me,

    我希望有人問我。

  • "Lisa, why are you here all the time,

    "麗莎,你怎麼一直在這裡。

  • why are you throwing yourself into all these things?"

    你為什麼要把自己扔進這些東西里?"

  • Did they ever wonder,

    他們有沒有想過。

  • was I running away from someone,

    是我在逃避某人。

  • was I running away from something?

    我是不是在逃避什麼?

  • Why did I not want to be in my community

    為什麼我不想在我的社區裡

  • or in my home?

    還是在我家?

  • Why did I want to be at school all the time?

    我為什麼要一直在學校?

  • No one ever asked.

    從來沒有人問過。

  • Now don't get me wrong,

    現在不要誤會我的意思。

  • all overachievers in your schools

    滿堂紅

  • are not victims of abuse or trauma.

    不是虐待或創傷的受害者;

  • But I just want you to take the time to be curious.

    但我只是希望你能花時間去好奇。

  • Ask them why.

    問他們為什麼。

  • You may find out that there is a reason behind it.

    你可能會發現,這背後是有原因的。

  • You could be the reason that they move forward

    你可能是他們前進的原因

  • with their story.

    與他們的故事。

  • Be careful not to assume

    小心不要假設

  • that you already know the ending to their story.

    你已經知道他們故事的結局。

  • Don't put a period where a semicolon should be.

    不要把句號放在應該是分號的地方。

  • Keep that story going

    繼續說下去

  • and help them know that even if something has happened traumatic to them,

    並幫助他們知道,即使發生了對他們有創傷的事情。

  • that their life is still worth telling.

    他們的生活仍然值得講述。

  • Their story is worth telling.

    他們的故事值得一說。

  • Now in order to do that,

    現在為了做到這一點。

  • I really feel like we have to embrace our own personal stories as educators.

    我真的覺得作為教育工作者,我們要接受自己的個人故事。

  • Many of you might be sitting there

    你們中的許多人可能坐在那裡

  • and thinking, "Yeah.

    並想,"是啊。

  • That happened to me.

    我也有過這樣的經歷。

  • But I'm not ready to share."

    但我'不準備分享。"

  • And that's OK.

    而這'的確定。

  • The time will come

    時候到了

  • when you will feel it inside your soul

    當你感覺到它在你的靈魂裡

  • that it's time to turn your past pain

    是時候把你過去的痛苦變成現實了

  • into purpose for the future.

    變成未來的目的。

  • These children are our future.

    這些孩子是我們的未來。

  • I just encourage you to take it day by day.

    我只是鼓勵你一天一天的去做。

  • Talk to someone.

    跟人說說吧

  • Be willing and just open.

    心甘情願,只管開放。

  • My life story came full circle

    我的人生故事圓滿結束

  • in the spring of 2018,

    在2018年春季。

  • where I was invited to speak

    我被邀請在那裡發言

  • to a group of beginning teachers and mentors.

    給一批初學教師和導師。

  • I shared my story, much like today with you,

    我分享了我的故事,就像今天和你一樣。

  • and afterwards I had a lady approach me.

    之後有一位女士找我。