and that story is filled with chapters

而這個故事是充滿章節的

that have made us who we are today.

使我們成為了今天的我們。

Those early chapters of that story

那故事的早期章節

sometimes are the ones that define us the most.

有時是最能定義我們的人。

The Center for Disease Control

疾病控制中心

has estimated that over half of our nation's children

據估計，我們國家一半以上的兒童'的兒童

have experienced at least one or two types of childhood trauma.

至少經歷過一種或兩種類型的童年創傷；

That adversity can have lasting effects.

逆境可以產生持久的影響。

When I began to have opportunities to speak

當我開始有機會講

and advocate for students and for teachers,

併為學生和教師代言。

I found myself uniquely positioned

我發現自己的位置很獨特

to be able to speak about childhood trauma.

能夠談論童年的創傷。

But I had to make a decision first.

但我得先做個決定。

I had to decide,

我必須做出決定。

did I want to just share the bright and shiny parts of my life,

我是不是隻想分享我生命中亮晶晶的部分。

you know, those ones that we put out on social media

你知道，那些我們在社交媒體上發佈的消息

that make us all look perfect,

讓我們看起來都很完美。

or did I want to make myself vulnerable

還是我想讓自己變得脆弱

and become an open book?

併成為一本開放的書？

The choice became very clear.

選擇變得非常明確。

In order to make a difference in the life of a child,

為了讓孩子的生活有所改變。

I had to become transparent.

我必須變得透明。

So I made the commitment to tell my personal story.

於是，我做出承諾，講述我個人的故事。

And this story is filled with people that have loved me

而這個故事裡，充滿了愛我的人。

and taken care of me and grown me.

並照顧我，讓我成長。

And have helped me overcome and heal.

並幫助我克服和治癒了。

And now it's time for me to help others do the same.

而現在，是時候讓我幫助別人做同樣的事情了。

When I first started school, I was the picture of normalcy.

剛入學時，我是正常人的形象。

I was from a good family,

我來自一個好家庭。

I was always dressed nicely,

我總是穿得很好。

had a smile on my face,

我的臉上露出了笑容。

I was prepared for school.

我為上學做了準備。

But my life was anything but normal.

但我的生活卻不正常。

By this time, I had already become a victim of sexual abuse.

這個時候，我已經成為性虐待的受害者。

And it was still happening.

而這一切還在發生。

My parents didn't know,

我父母不知道

and I had not told anyone else.

而我沒有告訴任何人。

When I started school, I felt like this was going to be my safe place.

當我開始上學時，我覺得這裡將是我的安全之地。

So I was excited.

所以我很興奮。

Imagine my dismay when I met my teacher,

想象一下，當我見到老師的時候，我的沮喪。

Mr. Randolph.

倫道夫先生

Now Mr. Randolph was not my abuser.

現在倫道夫先生不是我的施虐者。

But Mr. Randolph was the epitome

但倫道夫先生是一個縮影。

of everything that scared me the most in my life.

的一切，讓我一生中最害怕的。

I had already started these self-preservation techniques

我已經開始了這些自我保護的技巧。

to where I took myself out of positions where I was going to be alone with a man.

以至於我把自己從要和男人單獨相處的位置。

And here I was, as a student,

而我在這裡，作為一個學生。

I was going to be in a classroom with a man every day,

我每天都要和一個男人在一個教室裡上課。

for a year of school.

為一年的學校。

I was scared; I didn't trust him.

我很害怕，我不信任他。

But you know what,

但你知道嗎？

Mr. Randolph would turn out to be my greatest advocate.

倫道夫先生將成為我最大的代言人。

But in the beginning,

但在一開始。

oh, I made sure he knew I did not like him.

哦，我確保他知道我不喜歡他。

I was noncompliant;

我是不合規的。

I was that kid that was disengaged.

我就是那個不務正業的孩子。

And I also made it really hard on my parents, too.

我也讓我的父母非常難受。

I didn't want to go to school,

我不想去上學。

so I fought them every morning, getting on the bus.

所以我每天早上都會和他們戰鬥，上公車。

At night, I couldn't sleep,

晚上，我睡不著覺'。

because my anxiety was so high.

因為我的焦慮是如此之高。

So I was going into class exhausted.

所以，我是精疲力竭的進了教室。

Which, exhausted children are cranky children,

其中，疲憊的孩子是暴躁的孩子。

and they're not easy to teach,

而他們'不容易教。

you know that.

你知道的

Mr. Randolph could have approached me with frustration,

倫道夫先生可以帶著沮喪的心情來找我。

like so many teachers do with students like me.

就像很多老師對我這樣的學生一樣。

But not him.

但不是他。

He approached me with empathy

他用同情心來接近我

and with flexibility.

並具有靈活性。

I was so grateful for that.

我非常感激。

He saw this six-year-old was tired and weary.

他看到這個六歲的孩子很累，很疲憊。

And so instead of making me go outside for recess,

所以沒有讓我到外面去休息。

he would let me stay in and take naps,

他會讓我呆在家裡睡午覺。

because he knew I needed rest.

因為他知道我需要休息。

Instead of sitting at the teacher table at lunch,

而不是午餐時坐在老師桌前。

he would come and sit with the students at the student table.

他會來和學生坐在學生桌前。

He would engage me and all my classmates in conversation.

他會讓我和所有的同學參與到談話中來。

And I now look back and I know

而我現在回頭看，我知道

he had a purpose for that,

他這樣做是有目的的。

he was listening, he was asking questions.

他在聽，他在問問題。

He needed to find out what was going on.

他需要弄清楚到底發生了什麼。

He built a relationship with me.

他和我建立了關係。

He earned my trust.

他贏得了我的信任。

And slowly but surely,

慢慢地，但肯定。

those walls that I had built around myself

那些我在自己周圍建立的牆

he started chipping away at,

他開始削去。

and I eventually realized he was one of the good guys.

而我最終意識到他是好人之一。

I know that he felt like he wasn't enough.

我知道，他覺得自己還不夠。

Because he made the move to talk to my mom.

因為他做出了和我媽說話的舉動。

And got my mom's permission

並得到了我媽媽的允許

to let me start seeing a school guidance counselor,

讓我開始看到一個學校的輔導員。

Ms. McFadyen.

Ms.McFadyen.

I started seeing Ms. McFadyen once or twice a week

我開始每週去見麥克法迪恩女士一兩次。

for the next two years.

在未來兩年內。

It was a process.

這是一個過程。

During that time period,

在這段時間裡，。

I never disclosed to her the abuse,

我從來沒有向她透露過虐待的情況。

because it was a secret;

因為這是一個祕密。

I wasn't supposed to tell.

我不應該說的。

But she connected the dots, I know she did,

但她把事情聯繫起來了，我知道她做到了。

because everything that she did with me

因為她對我所做的一切

was to empower me and help me find my voice.

是賦予我權力，幫助我找到自己的聲音。

She taught me how to use mental images

她教會了我如何使用心象

to push through my fears.

來克服我的恐懼。

She taught me breathing techniques

她教我呼吸技巧

to help me get through those anxiety attacks

幫助我度過那些焦慮的攻擊

that I would have so often.

我經常會有的。

And she role-played with me.

她還和我一起玩角色扮演。

And she made sure

而且她確保

that I could stand up for myself in situations.

我可以站起來為自己的情況。

And the day came

而這一天的到來

where I was in the room with my abuser

在那裡，我是在房間裡與我的虐待者。

and one other adult.

和另一名成年人。

And I told my truth.

我說的是實話

I told about the abuse.

我告訴了你虐待的事情。

Immediately, my abuser began to deny,

立刻，我的施暴者開始否認。

and the person I disclosed to,

和我透露的人。

they just weren't equipped to handle the bombshell

他們只是不具備處理炸彈的設備

that I had just dropped on them.

我剛剛掉在他們身上的。

It was easier to believe the abuser

更容易相信施暴者

rather than a child.

而不是孩子。

So I was told never to speak of it again.

於是，我被告知再也不要提起這件事。

I was made to feel like I had done something wrong, again.

我又被弄得好像做錯了什麼事一樣。

It was devastating.

這是毀滅性的。

But you know what,

但你知道嗎？

something good came out of that day.

那天有好事發生

My abuser knew that I was no longer going to be silent.

我的施虐者知道，我不會再沉默了。

The power shifted.

權力轉移了。

And the abuse stopped.

虐待也就停止了。

(Applause)

(掌聲)

But the shame

但是恥辱

and fear of it happening again

又怕重蹈覆轍

remained.

仍然是。

And it would remain with me

它將一直伴隨著我

for many, many years to come.

在未來的很多很多年裡。

Mr. Randolph and Ms. McFadyen,

Randolph先生和McFadyen女士。

they helped me find my voice.

他們幫我找到了我的聲音。

They helped me find the light out.

他們幫我找到了熄燈的地方。

But you know what,

但你知道嗎？

there are so many kids that aren't as fortunate as me.

有這麼多的孩子不'沒有像我一樣幸運。

And you have them in your classrooms.

而你的教室裡也有他們。

That is why it's so important for me to talk to you today,

這就是為什麼我今天和你說話這麼重要的原因。

so you can be aware

好讓你知道

and you can start asking the questions that need to be asked

然後你就可以開始問那些需要問的問題了。

and paying attention to these students,

並關注這些學生。

so you too can help them find their way.

所以你也可以幫助他們找到自己的方向。

As a kindergarten teacher,

作為一名幼兒園教師。

I start my year off

我開始了我的一年

with my kids making box biographies.

和我的孩子們一起做盒子傳記。

These are two of my students.

這是我的兩個學生。

And I encourage them

我鼓勵他們

to fill those boxes with things that tell me about them

在這些盒子裡裝滿了能告訴我他們的東西。

and about their life,

以及關於他們的生活。

what's important to you, you know?

什麼對你很重要，你知道嗎？

They decorate them,

他們裝飾他們。

I mean, they really take time,

我的意思是，他們真的需要時間。

they fill them with pictures of their families and of their pets,

他們用他們的家庭和寵物的照片來填充。

and then I let them present them to me and to the class.

然後我讓他們向我和全班同學介紹。

And during that time, I am an active listener.

而在這期間，我是一個積極的傾聽者。

Because the things they say,

因為他們說的那些話。

the facial expressions that they give me,

他們給我的面部表情。

the things they don't say

他們不說的事情

can become red flags for me

對我來說是個危險的信號

and can help me figure out what their needs are.

並能幫我弄清楚他們的需求是什麼。

What is driving them

是什麼驅使他們

to maybe have the behaviors that they're showing me in class.

以或許有他們'在課堂上向我展示的行為。

How can I be a better teacher

如何才能成為一個更好的老師

by listening to their voices?

通過傾聽他們的聲音？

I also make times to develop relationships with them,

我也會抽時間和他們發展關係。

much like Mr. Randolph did with me.

就像倫道夫先生對我一樣。

I sit with them at lunch,

午飯時我和他們坐在一起

I have conversations with them at recess,

我在課間休息時與他們對話。

I go to their games on the weekends,

我週末會去看他們的比賽。

I go to their dance recitals.

我去看他們的舞蹈表演。

I become a part of their life.

我成為他們生活的一部分。

Because in order to really know a student,

因為要想真正瞭解一個學生。

you've got to infuse yourself into their lives.

你要把自己注入到他們的生活中去。

Now I know some of you are middle school teachers

我知道你們有些人是中學老師。

and high school teachers,

和高中教師。

and you might think that those kids

你可能會認為，這些孩子

have already kind of developed, and you know,

已經有種發展，你知道的。

they're on autopilot at that point.

他們'在這一點上是自動駕駛。

But don't be deceived.

但不要被騙了'。

Especially the kids that you think have it all together,

特別是那些你認為有的孩子，他們都是有的。

because those are the ones that might need you the most.

因為這些人可能是最需要你的人。

If you were to look at my yearbook,

如果你看了我的年鑑。

you would see me on about every page,

你會看到我在每個頁面上。

because I was involved in everything.

因為我參與了一切。

I even drove a school bus.

我甚至開過校車。

(Laughs)

（笑）

So I was that kid

所以我就是那個孩子

that teachers thought was the overachiever,

那個老師認為是超常發揮的人。

the popular person,

人氣的人。

the one that had it together.

一個有它在一起。

But guys, I was lost.

但是夥計們，我迷路了。

I was lost,

我迷路了。

and I wanted someone to ask me,

我希望有人問我。

"Lisa, why are you here all the time,

"麗莎，你怎麼一直在這裡。

why are you throwing yourself into all these things?"

你為什麼要把自己扔進這些東西里？"

Did they ever wonder,

他們有沒有想過。

was I running away from someone,

是我在逃避某人。

was I running away from something?

我是不是在逃避什麼？

Why did I not want to be in my community

為什麼我不想在我的社區裡

or in my home?

還是在我家？

Why did I want to be at school all the time?

我為什麼要一直在學校？

No one ever asked.

從來沒有人問過。

Now don't get me wrong,

現在不要誤會我的意思。

all overachievers in your schools

滿堂紅

are not victims of abuse or trauma.

不是虐待或創傷的受害者；

But I just want you to take the time to be curious.

但我只是希望你能花時間去好奇。

Ask them why.

問他們為什麼。

You may find out that there is a reason behind it.

你可能會發現，這背後是有原因的。

You could be the reason that they move forward

你可能是他們前進的原因

with their story.

與他們的故事。

Be careful not to assume

小心不要假設

that you already know the ending to their story.

你已經知道他們故事的結局。

Don't put a period where a semicolon should be.

不要把句號放在應該是分號的地方。

Keep that story going

繼續說下去

and help them know that even if something has happened traumatic to them,

並幫助他們知道，即使發生了對他們有創傷的事情。

that their life is still worth telling.

他們的生活仍然值得講述。

Their story is worth telling.

他們的故事值得一說。

Now in order to do that,

現在為了做到這一點。

I really feel like we have to embrace our own personal stories as educators.

我真的覺得作為教育工作者，我們要接受自己的個人故事。

Many of you might be sitting there

你們中的許多人可能坐在那裡

and thinking, "Yeah.

並想，"是啊。

That happened to me.

我也有過這樣的經歷。

But I'm not ready to share."

但我'不準備分享。"

And that's OK.

而這'的確定。

The time will come

時候到了

when you will feel it inside your soul

當你感覺到它在你的靈魂裡

that it's time to turn your past pain

是時候把你過去的痛苦變成現實了

into purpose for the future.

變成未來的目的。

These children are our future.

這些孩子是我們的未來。

I just encourage you to take it day by day.

我只是鼓勵你一天一天的去做。

Talk to someone.

跟人說說吧

Be willing and just open.

心甘情願，只管開放。

My life story came full circle

我的人生故事圓滿結束

in the spring of 2018,

在2018年春季。

where I was invited to speak

我被邀請在那裡發言

to a group of beginning teachers and mentors.

給一批初學教師和導師。

I shared my story, much like today with you,

我分享了我的故事，就像今天和你一樣。

and afterwards I had a lady approach me.

之後有一位女士找我。