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  • Thank you so much for coming out tonight.

    謝謝大家今晚來到這裡。

  • I know a lot of you come to these tapings with your friends.

    我知道你們很多人都是跟朋友來我們錄製現場。

  • It's so adorable. You so cute.

    超可愛的,你們超可愛。

  • Just by looking around, I can also tell that some of you have that friend that you wish was your permanently-naked friend.

    到處看看我就知道,有些人有個你希望是你的「永久裸友」。

  • Yeah, that's right.

    對,沒錯。

  • Which is why tonight we're talking about the friend zone!

    這也是為什麼我們今天要來聊聊好人卡!

  • These two know what I'm talking about.

    這兩個人知道我在說什麼。

  • You know what I'm talking about.

    你們知道我在說什麼。

  • Yeah, laugh awkwardly.

    好,尷尬地笑吧。

  • Okay.

    好。

  • Now, if you don't know, the friend zone is when you're told someone would be lucky to date you.

    以免你不知道,發好人卡就是,當有人告訴你能和你交往的人應該很幸運。

  • By the person who will never date you.

    但告訴你的人卻永遠不會想和你交往。

  • The friend zone is that awkward limbo between dating and not dating.

    好人區就是介於交往和沒交往之間的模糊地帶。

  • And the whole time you're like "This isn't great."

    然後你會一直覺得:「這樣不妙。」

  • "How did I get here? And why can't I leave?"

    「我是怎麼變成這個情況的?我怎麼走不開?」

  • It's like Forever 21.

    就像在 Forever 21 店裡。

  • It's like going to a job interview and being told you have all the qualifications for the job...

    就像去面試一份工作,然後被告知自己符合那份工作所有資格條件...

  • ... but they're going in a different direction.

    但是公司想要嘗試不同方向。

  • And if you don't know you're in the friend zone, I'll tell you how you can know, okay?

    如果你不知道自己是不是被發好人卡了,我來告訴你怎麼分辨,好嗎?

  • If you're making a pact to get married if you're still single at 40, you in the friend zone.

    如果你們約定 40 歲的時候都還單身就要結婚,你就是被發好人卡了。

  • And you're gonna drink way too much at his wedding, girl.

    然後你就會在他的婚禮上喝酒喝到爆。

  • Wait. Where did the term "friend zone" even come from?

    等一下,「好人卡」這個用詞到底是哪來的?

  • I heard it started with Ross and Rachel's relationship on Friends.

    我聽說是源自影劇《六人行》裡 Ross 與 Rachel 的關係。

  • You know what I'm talking about, right?

    你們都懂我,對吧?

  • But I think it goes back even further, to the Trojan War.

    但我覺得要追溯到更久以前,直到特洛伊戰爭。

  • Right around the time Helen of Troy told King of Sparta: "Hey, I think we're just better as friends."

    差不多是當特洛伊的海倫告訴斯巴達國王:「嘿,我覺得我們當朋友比較好。」

  • "Also, what's up with the giant wooden horse?"

    「還有,那個超大木馬是怎麼一回事?」

  • Hey, you watch this show to laugh, but sometimes you're going to learn.

    欸,你看我的節目只是想笑一笑,但有的時候你還是得學習。

  • Okay? Deal with it!

    好嗎?接受吧!

  • Like, check this out.

    你們聽聽。

  • This recent study revealed men are consistently overestimating women's attraction to them.

    近期一項研究指出,男性一直會高估自己對女性的吸引力。

  • While women—I know shocker!

    而女性... 我知道,好驚訝喔。

  • While women are consistently underestimating their guy friends' feelings.

    而女性則會一直低估男性友人對自己的感情。

  • So basically women are humble and men are just Drake.

    所以基本上,女性很謙虛,而男性就像 Drake 一樣。

  • I mean, seriously.

    我是認真的。

  • Serena, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj.

    Serena、Rihanna、Nicki Minaj。

  • Drake has gotten sidelined harder than Lonzo Ball with the Lakers.

    Drake 坐在場邊的次數比湖人隊的 Lonzo Ball 還多。

  • You know what I'm talking about?

    你們知道我在說什麼嗎?

  • Well, there are perks to being in the friend zone.

    被發好人卡還是有一些好處。

  • I mean, you get a friend!

    我是說,你得到一個好朋友。

  • That's someone who can teach you how to talk to women, how to listen to women.

    他可以教你怎麼跟女生講話、怎麼聽女生說話。

  • And, more importantly, how to make women think that you're listening.

    還有最重要的,怎麼讓女生覺得你確實有在聽。

  • It's very important. Okay?

    非常重要,好嗎?

  • Besides, once you've been in the friend zone, you can't unsee what you've seen.

    除此之外,你一旦被發了好人卡,你所看見的事是沒辦法抹滅的。

  • Think about it.

    想想看。

  • If you watched Amanda scream at a delivery man, cry during The Notebook, and steal toilet paper from a restaurant, would you still want to date her?

    如果你看到《手札情緣》裡的 Amanda 對著郵差尖叫、大哭還偷餐廳的衛生紙,你還會想跟她交往嗎?

  • Me. I'm Amanda. I'm that girl.

    我,我就是 Amanda,我就是那樣。

  • No look, there's a part of me that thinks the whole "friend zone" thing is a myth.

    其實呢,我有點覺得「好人卡」這個東西只是一個迷思。

  • The friend zone is like a strip club.

    好人區就跟脫衣舞俱樂部一樣。

  • A dark place invented by men for men so they can pretend that women who don't want them do.

    是男性為男性發明出的一個黑暗地帶,他們這樣就可以假裝不喜歡自己的女性喜歡自己。

  • You liked that, didn't you?

    你就喜歡那樣,對不對?

  • Hashtag relatable.

    #感同身受。

  • Now, let me tell you a secret.

    那我來告訴你一個秘密。

  • All the guys here, can I get a show of hands?

    這裡的男生可以舉個手嗎?

  • Raise your hand if you're a guy. Cheer real quickly. Cheer.

    是男生的舉個手。快點歡呼一下,歡呼。

  • You noticed the testosterone when I said, "Cheer."

    可以注意到這些歡呼充滿男性荷爾蒙。

  • Let me tell you a little secret.

    我來說個小秘密。

  • If you want to get out of the friend zone, just get into a relationship.

    如果你不想再被發好人卡,找別人交往就對了。

  • Because women always want what they can't haveit's true!

    因為女生都想要她們得不到的東西,真的。

  • It's like, growing up, I always wanted a talk show, but I couldn't get one, so I started going out with YouTube and suddenly NBC was like, "Damn, she's fine as hell!"

    就像是,我從小到大都想要一個脫口秀但都得不到,所以我就開始和 YouTube 來往,突然 NBC 電視台就發現:「天啊!她辣翻了!」

  • But if you're in the friend zone, you should probably just get comfortable in there, because transitioning out of the friend zone is sort of like hosting the Oscars.

    不過如果你一直被發好人卡,你可能就要接受、習慣一點,因為轉出好人區就像主持奧斯卡獎一樣。

  • You have to wait to be asked, which could never happen.

    你得等著被邀請,而這永遠不可能發生。

  • But if it does, it could all go away when they find your old tweets.

    但就算真的發生了,他們看到你以前的貼文就又會回到原點。

  • For me, the friend zone's gotten even more confusing since I started dating girls, okay?

    對我來說,開始和女生交往後,好人卡變得更讓人混亂了,懂嗎?

  • I've always been really into the sisterhood, but sometimes I'll meet a girl I want to date and accidentally call her "sis."

    我一直都很喜歡「姊妹情誼」這種東西,但有時候我會遇到想交往的女生,但不小心叫她「姊妹」。

  • Once that happens, I've permanently quarantined myself in the friend zone.

    一旦我那樣子叫她,就永遠把自己關在好人區了。

  • It's like a receding hairline.

    就像是往後退的髮線。

  • As soon as it starts, there's no turning back.

    開始後就回不去了。

  • Sorry, LeBron.

    抱歉了,LeBron。

  • I'm from Toronto. Go, Rapts.

    我是多倫多人,暴龍隊加油!

  • You're probably thinking, "No way, Lilly."

    你可能想說:「不可能啦,Lily。」

  • "You're too smart, beautiful, and humble to be put in the friend zone."

    「你這麼聰明、美麗又謙虛,怎麼可能被發好人卡?」

  • And thank you. You have a great judge of character.

    謝謝,你們很會評斷我的特質。

  • Thank you.

    謝謝。

  • But believe it or not, I've had plenty of guys friend-zone me.

    但信不信由你,我從很多男生那裡收過好人卡。

  • I know. They're crazy.

    我知道,他們都瘋了。

  • Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I get invited over to watch a movie...

    說真的,我都數不清到底有幾次,有人邀請我去他家看電影...

  • ... and we actually watch the whole movie.

    然後我們真的看完了整部電影。

  • I'm like, "Dude, I do not care what happens to Charlie and his stupid factory."

    我就想說「老兄,我不在乎查理和他的巧克力冒險爛工廠怎麼了。」

  • "I'm trying to get you to find my golden ticket. Okay?"

    「我是要你找到我的金獎券,好嗎?」

  • You know what I mean?

    懂我意思嗎?

  • The thirst is real!

    真的很飢渴。

Thank you so much for coming out tonight.

謝謝大家今晚來到這裡。

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做朋友就好?被發好人卡怎麼辦? (What to Do When You've Been Friend-Zoned)

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    Estelle 發佈於 2020 年 03 月 12 日
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