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  • I love being married though.

    我很享受已婚。

  • I love living with a woman.

    我很享受跟一個女人在一起。

  • It's great.

    超棒的。

  • I don't run out of stuff anymore.

    東西再也不會被用完。

  • Especially in the bathroom and guys who live by themselves know that's a problem sometimes.

    尤其是浴室裡的,自己住的男性一定懂,有時候這真的是個問題。

  • Some... sometimes he'll just get in the shower in the morning, be like, there's no soap in here.

    有時候他會在早上走進淋浴間,發現,這裡沒有肥皂了。

  • I'm fresh out of ideas, alright.

    我不知道該怎麼辦了,好吧!

  • I'll just turn the water up hotter, I guess.

    看來我只能把水調熱一點。

  • Yes, scrub really hard with a loofah, you know.

    對,用絲瓜刷用力一點,你懂的。

  • My wife will buy multiple bottles of shampoo at a time.

    我老婆會一次買好幾罐洗髪精。

  • It's a brilliant idea, it is...

    這主意真是太棒了,真是...

  • Never crossed my mind at all.

    我從來沒有想過。

  • I buy one, one bottle of shampoo, and then when it gets to the end...

    我都買一罐,一罐洗髮精,然後等我用完的時候...

  • Unscrew the top hold it up to the shower.

    把蓋子轉開,把瓶子舉到蓮蓬頭那。

  • Oh, you people all have done this, you know what I am talking, maybe a little, little shampoo cocktail for yourself there.

    噢,你們一定都這麼幹過,你們知道我在說什麼,或許給你自己來點洗髮精特調。

  • Alright, this is gonna be the same thing.

    好喔,這會跟原本的一樣。

  • Wow, that goes right in the eyes, look at that.

    哇,它直接跑進眼睛裡了,你看看。

  • Maybe if you like me, you dive into the sink you bust out the hotel miniatures you've been stealing for the past 15 years.

    或許你跟我一樣,你會到洗臉盆的下面抓出過去 15 年來你一直從飯店裡偷走的瓶瓶罐罐。

  • Alright, candle with sweets.

    來吧,香香的蠟燭味道。

  • What do we got today? All right.

    今天我們有什麼口味?來吧。

  • Blueberry, alright.

    藍莓,好喔。

  • I wouldn't normally use blueberry shampoo, but I don't really have much of an option.

    我通常不會用藍莓的洗髮精,不過我沒什麼選擇。

  • And this is... this is moisturizer, yuck!

    然後這個... 這個是乳液,噁!

  • I'm just gonna be shiny all day, alright.

    我今天一整天都會亮晶晶的了,好吧。

  • My wife and I moved into an apartment that has two bathrooms.

    我和我老婆搬進有兩間浴室的公寓。

  • Which I think already just adds another five years to our marriage.

    我想這已經為我們的婚姻多爭取了五年的時間。

  • The fact that we don't have to compete for a shower in the morning...

    我們不必在早上搶浴室這件事...

  • And we never take a shower together.

    而且我們從來不一起洗澡。

  • I think some people think that's strange.

    我想有些人會覺得這很奇怪。

  • But honestly, it's just not practical for us because when you first get together with somebody the idea of taking a shower together sounds awesome.

    但說實在的,這對我們來說真的很不實際,因為當你剛開始跟某個人在一起的時候,一起洗澡聽起來是個很棒的主意。

  • A woman's like, hey, I'm... I'm thinking about taking a shower.

    有個女人說,嘿,我想... 我想來洗個澡。

  • Hopefully not in that voice.

    最好不是用那種嗓音啦。

  • I should point that out.

    我應該先講清楚。

  • Hey, you wanna take a shower?

    嘿,你想不想洗個澡?

  • Pass.

    過。

  • It's very appealing when you first get together, though.

    不過當你們剛在一起的時候真的很吸引人。

  • But any guy here that lives with a woman knows that if you try and take a shower together.

    但這裡任何一個和女性住在一起的男人都知道,如果你們試著一起洗澡。

  • Odds are it's just gonna turn into you standing in the back for about six minutes.

    結果很有可能只是你站在後面大概 6 分鐘。

  • It's freezing back here.

    後面這裡超冷。

  • It's really cold.

    真的很冷。

  • I... I can see it's hot up there, I can... I can see the steam.

    我... 我看得出來上面很熱,我可以... 可以看到蒸氣。

  • That's where I stand when I take a shower quite frankly.

    坦白說我洗澡的時候就是站那裡的。

  • Sweetie... but what happens though is the water hits the top of your forehead.

    親愛的... 但實際上是,水只會打到你額頭上。

  • And it comes off as this cool fine mist and that's all I get to work with, I get a little produce shower.

    然後它們成為細細涼涼的水氣流下來,我能用的就這麼多,一點點零星的淋浴。

  • This could take forever for me to get clean.

    我要洗乾淨大概要花上一輩子。

  • It's my turn, alright, fantastic, cool, alright.

    到我了,好喔,太好了,好。

  • Here we go.

    來吧!

  • We're on different rinsing cycles.

    我們的清洗循環不一樣。

  • I don't wanna mess that up, cool.

    我搞不想把它搞砸了,好。

  • I don't recognize any of these but, no you gotta condition three times, alright.

    我完全不認得這些東西,不你要護髮三次,好吧。

  • That was warm, okay.

    水是暖的,好。

  • This is, uh, boring, actually.

    這實在是,嗯,很無聊。

  • I know you're naked, that's cool.

    我知道你現在裸體,很棒。

  • But if I knew it's gonna go this long I would have put my Kindle in a Ziploc or something.

    但如果我知道這要花這麼久,我就會把我的 Kindle 裝進夾鏈袋裡之類的。

  • Are you...

    你要...

  • Are you getting out?

    你要出去了嗎?

  • You're getting out, cool!

    你要出去了,好!

  • Take both towels.

    兩條毛巾都拿走吧!

  • I don't... I don't need both towels.

    我不... 我不需要兩條毛巾。

  • We are out of hot water though, sweetheart, so.

    不過我們熱水沒了,親愛的,所以。

  • It's alright, I'll just smell today, that's alright.

    沒關係,我今天就臭臭的吧,沒關係。

  • Subscribe to Dry Bar Comedy for even more of the world's largest collection of clean comedy.

    訂閱 Dry Bar Comedy,收看更多全球最大的老少閒宜喜劇合集。

I love being married though.

我很享受已婚。

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一起洗澡很浪漫?單身 vs. 已婚 (Being married VS. Being Single | Drew Barth | Dry Bar Comedy)

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    Nina 發佈於 2020 年 02 月 28 日
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