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A year ago I was in a computer science class when the professor made a mistake.
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I was confident enough in the subject so I raised my hand and I told him he was wrong.
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I've read the correct solution in the book he told us to use for the class.
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I thought that since it was written in the book, logically he would admit and correct
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his mistake.
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Instead he went on and said that my solution was totally wrong.
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I definitely didn't expect that, so I thought maybe showing him the paragraph in the actual
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book will change his mind.
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And after 5 minutes of heated discussion and arguing with facts, he finally said …
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that the information in the book is wrong and that the he was right.
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I tried persuade someone with arguing and reasoning, I thought facts will definitely
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make the professor change his mind.
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How silly was I ... Did I really thought that the professor is going to swallow his pride
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admit he was wrong and change his mind in front of all the students JUST because I had
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the correct information?
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I don't think so.
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So if you want to win someone to your way of thinking, never argue with them, because
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as soon as you tell the person is wrong, you already lost.
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I had a friend who was extremely good at persuading people.
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One night we were out partying, we met a few girls in the club, and generally had a good time.
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So the night came to an end and we thought that it would be great to continue the party
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at our place, so we let our magnetic friend to try and convince them to come with us.
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At the time I had no idea why he was so successful at persuading people but after I've read a
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few books on the topic I can now clearly see how he did it.
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At first he asked them if they loved to party – they were in a club so the answer was
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clearly yes.
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Then he asked if they had a great time tonight, the answer was yes again.
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He then proceeded to ask few more questions – and he made sure that the answers to all
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of them were likely to be yeses.
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Finally he asked if they wanted to continue the party at our place, and sure enough they
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thought that would be a great idea and said Yes.
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See how he didn't started to logically reason with them as for why they should come with
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us, he got yes after yes and slowly the girls arrived at the conclusion they would've refused
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few minutes previously.
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Socrates, was one of the greatest philosophers the world has ever known.
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He did something that only a handful of men in all history have been able to do: he sharply
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changed the whole course of human thought; and now, twenty-four centuries after his death,
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he is honored as one of the wisest persuaders who ever influenced this world.
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So how did he do it?
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Did he tell people they were wrong?
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Well not Socrates.
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He was far too clever for that.
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His whole technique, now called the "Socratic method," was based upon getting a "yes, yes" response.
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He asked questions with which his opponent would have to agree.
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He kept on winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses.
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He kept on asking questions until finally, almost without realizing it, his opponents
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found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few minutes previously.
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The next time you are tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong, remember old Socrates
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and ask a gentle question - a question that will get the "yes, yes" response.
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find it interesting.
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