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  • Improvement pill here. Welcome to the beefriend course where I show you how to

    我是進步丸,歡迎來到交朋友課程,我要教你們如何與更多人交朋友。

  • befriend more people. Today I want to reveal to you the secret to getting

    今天我要向你們揭示與人交談更流利的秘密,

  • better at talking to people. So let's dive right into it. So the first

    那我們就開始吧!第一件你必須了解的事是

  • thing you have to understand is that you were not born socially handicapped. We

    你並非一出生就有社交障礙,我們

  • humans are very social species, so much in fact that you can take a baby and put

    人類是非常社會化的物種,事實上你可以把一個嬰兒

  • him or her in a room full of people, and over time he or she will learn to speak

    放在充滿人的房間裡,過一段時間,他或她就會學會說話,

  • purely through observation. No one needs to go up to the baby and say "Hey! That's

    單純透過觀察。不需要任何人走向那個嬰兒跟他說「嘿!那是一隻貓。

  • a cat. Yes, cat, C-A-T. Meow meow. Say with me." you don't have to do any of that. If you

    沒錯,貓咪,C-A-T。喵喵。跟我一起說。」你完全不必這麼做。你只要

  • just talk and go about your daily activities, the baby is capable of

    說話並從事你的日常活動,嬰兒自己就能夠

  • learning your language by pure observation. And this is because the

    藉由單純的觀察學習你的語言。而這是因為

  • human brain is actually extremely good at identifying patterns and rules when

    人腦事實上對於辨認社交互動的模式和規則極好,

  • it comes to social interactions, which is basically what language is if you think

    想想看,那基本上就是語言。

  • about it. Patterns and rules. So it's not that you

    模式和規則。所以並不是你

  • were born socially handicapped, the reason your social skills aren't that

    生來就社交障礙,你的社交技能不太好的原因

  • great is simply because you haven't given your brain enough time to observe

    就只是因為你並沒有給你的腦袋足夠的時間去觀察

  • interactions and become fluent in all of the patterns and rules. In short, you lack

    互動並變得流利於所有的模式和規則。簡而言之,你缺乏練習。

  • practice. And for the most part it's not really your fault

    而這主要並不是你的錯,

  • because if you think about it, in modern times, we spend the large majority of our

    因為在現今社會,我們把大多數時間花在

  • time behind screens interacting with each other and it's only been getting

    螢幕後頭與人互動,

  • worse and worse every generation. I didn't get a smartphone until I was

    而每一代只會愈來愈糟。我直到幾乎 20 歲

  • almost like 20 years old, but nowadays most kids get their first smartphone

    才得到一支智慧型手機,但現在大部分小孩甚至在 10 歲以前就得到了

  • before they're even ten. And we all know that it doesn't take much skill or

    第一支智慧型手機。而我們都知道接受交友邀請、傳訊息給某人

  • practice to accept the friend request and shoot someone a message. We can type

    並不需要太多技巧或練習。我們可以打字

  • and use emojis to communicate with each other but it's really really different

    以及使用表情符號來溝通,但那和

  • from actually talking to someone in real life. When you're texting there are

    真實世界中實際跟人交談是很不一樣的。打字時

  • hundreds of little components that are not there, hundreds of little patterns

    有許多小細節是不存在的,數百個小模式

  • and rules that your brain isn't able to observe about the other person, for

    和規則都是缺乏的,以致於你的腦袋無法觀察另一個人

  • example things like their body language, facial expressions, tonality, speed of

    像是肢體語言、表情、音調、語速、

  • talking, proximity, eye contact, etc. These are all components that you have to pay

    靠近、眼神接觸等等。如果你想交朋友,

  • attention to when talking to someone else in real life

    這些都是你在真實生活中與別人交談時必須仔細觀察的細節。

  • if you want to make friends. But all of these factors are completely missing

    但當你用你那台神奇小方塊打字或傳訊息給別人,

  • when you text or message someone using your magic little rectangle. In a way,

    所有這些因子都會完全遺漏。在某種程度上,

  • talking to people in real life is like a completely different language. The reason

    在真實世界中與人對談就像是一種截然不同的語言。

  • why your social skills aren't that great and why you feel nervous about meeting

    你的社交能力沒有那麼好以及認識新的人時感到緊張的原因

  • new people is simply because you haven't been giving your brain enough time to

    就只是因為你沒有給你的大腦足夠的時間

  • properly learn this language. You're fluent in texting but you're barely

    去好好學習這個語言。你打字很流利但你幾乎沒有

  • passing real-life talking. Sort of like how I barely passed Chinese in high

    在現實生活中說話。有點類似我高中時差點沒通過中文。

  • school. The secret to getting better at talking to people or learning any

    與人交談或是學習任何語言進步的秘訣

  • language is to simply get more practice, to interact with more people, to give

    就是多加練習、和更多人互動、

  • your brain more opportunities to observe and learn the unique patterns and rules

    給你的大腦更多機會去觀察並學習這個語言獨特的模式和規則。

  • of this language. Now you might be wondering "Improvement pill, okay that

    現在你可能會好奇「好,那很合理,

  • makes sense and all, but how do I get more practice?" Well, when I was about 18

    但我要怎麼多加練習?」

  • years old, I decided to take on what's called the

    在我大約 18 歲時,我決定開始所謂的

  • hundred interaction challenge to improve my social skills. Basically you have a

    百人互動挑戰以增進我的社交技能。基本上就是

  • month to interact with 100 people it doesn't really matter how deep the

    你有一個月要去和 100 個人互動,互動多深都無所謂,

  • interactions are, heck you could run up to people and just say hi and then run

    你可以跑向某人,只是說嗨,然後跑掉,

  • away and that would still count as an interaction. The majority of my

    那樣也算一次互動。在這項挑戰中,

  • interactions during this challenge involved asking people for directions

    我大部分的互動都是向人問路,

  • while pretending that my phone died and that I was lost. And although these

    假裝我的手機壞了所以我迷路。而即使這些

  • interactions on a surface level seemed very simple and short, I eventually found

    互動表面上看起來很簡單又短暫,我發現自己最後

  • myself transitioning into deeper conversations. And this actually led to a

    轉變為更深度的交談,而這其實讓我的腦袋

  • whole lot of practice for my brain, and I did see a pretty significant boost in my

    有很大量的練習,而在挑戰結束時,

  • social skills by the time the challenge was over. Now a quick little side note,

    我確實看見了我的社交技能有頗顯著的進步。順帶一提,

  • people always ask me to make a course for the hundred interaction challenge

    每當我提起這件事,很多人總在請我為這個百人互動挑戰開立課程,

  • whenever I talk about it, but to be honest it wouldn't really even be a

    但老實說,這實在成不了一門課程,

  • course, I literally just explained to you all you have to do. But then they'd often

    我剛剛就解釋過了所有應該做的事。

  • say something like "Oh but it'd be helpful to have an accountability group

    但他們常常接著說「喔但如果有個責任群組

  • and also if you can motivate us every day of the challenge." So if that's

    還有如果你可以每天激勵我們,會很有幫助。」

  • something you're interested in, I guess why not. I'll make the program cuz I do

    所以如果這是你們有興趣的,我想何不呢?我會做出這個計畫

  • enjoy helping you out. All you got to do is sign up for my mailing list using the

    因為我很樂意幫助你們,你們只要加入我的郵寄清單,

  • link in the description box below and I'll let you know the next time we run

    用下面說明欄的連結,下一次我們舉行這個實驗計畫時我會通知你們。

  • this experimental program. Back to the topic at hand, here's a good analogy that

    回到目前的主題,關於更擅長與人交談,

  • I want to leave you with when it comes to getting better at

    有個很好的比喻我想分享給你們。

  • talking to people. Watching videos to learn social skills is sort of like

    看影片學習社交技巧有點像是

  • watching videos when you're trying to learn how to ride a bike. Yes it can be

    看影片學習如何騎腳踏車。

  • very helpful to watch others do it, it can be helpful to learn exactly how

    沒錯,看別人做可能非常有幫助,對於學習腳踏車如何運作

  • bikes even work, but the fastest way to learn how to ride a bike is to just jump

    很有幫助,但學習騎腳踏車的最快方式是直接跳上車

  • on and start pedaling. Sure you'll probably fall over and over again but

    開始踩踏板。當然你很有可能會一直摔倒

  • eventually you'll get it right, eventually you'll figure out how to

    但最終你會做好,最終你會了解如何

  • balance properly. And this is basically what happens when you go out and start

    適當地保持平衡。這基本上就是當你走出去開始與人交談時

  • talking to more people. Sure you'll probably have a couple of awkward

    會發生的事。當然你很有可能會有一些尷尬的互動

  • interactions but eventually you will learn the patterns and rules of the

    但你最終會學會這個文化的模式與規則,

  • culture, you'll learn what's funny, what's not appropriate, and over time you will

    你會學會什麼是有趣的、什麼是不恰當的,長期下來你會

  • learn how to speak with finesse, you will learn how to balance. So just go out

    學會如何適當地說話,你會學會如何平衡。所以就走出去

  • there and start talking to more people. That's the secret.

    開始跟更多人說話吧。那就是秘訣。

  • Hope you guys like this video, if you want to learn more about the theory

    希望你們大家喜歡這支影片,想知道更多交朋友的原理,

  • behind making friends, I suggest you start from the very beginning of the

    我建議你從交朋友課程的最起點開始,

  • beefriend course by clicking over here or on the link in the description box below.

    點這裡或是在下面的說明欄的連結。

  • Besides that, guys, stay tuned.

    除此之外,各位,請繼續追蹤。

Improvement pill here. Welcome to the beefriend course where I show you how to

我是進步丸,歡迎來到交朋友課程,我要教你們如何與更多人交朋友。

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A2 初級 中文 美國腔 社交 語言 學習 規則 觀察 模式

更好地與人交談的祕密 (Secret To Getting Better At Talking To People)

  • 133 12
    Mackenzie 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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