字幕列表 影片播放
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Hey mom, I think I'm sick.
媽,我覺得我生病了。
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Can you please come over, and bring the Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup?
妳可以來看我嗎?順便幫買個 Campbell 的雞湯麵?
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For your son?
拜託,為了妳的兒子?
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I'm sick.
我病了。
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How did I get sick?
我是怎麼生病的?
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I take a multi-vitamin every day, I get enough sleep every night, I wash my hands religiously.
我明明每天吃綜合維他命、早睡早起,也有規律洗手。
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Where did I go wrong?
我做錯了什麼?
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Is there no justice in this world?
這世上還有公理嗎?
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According to WebMD, I either have a cold, or death will be upon me at any moment.
根據網路醫生網,我不是感冒,就是死到臨頭了。
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No, stop!
不,不要!
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You can't take care of me!
你不要照顧我!
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I'm supposed to be taking care of you.
應該是我要照顧你的!
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I don't need to go to a doctor for a cold, all right?
區區感冒,我不用去看醫生,好嗎?
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I've got my old fashioned remedy right here.
我有準備自己的傳統療法。
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Just like my Aunt Hilda used to give me when I was a toddler.
就像 Hilda 阿姨從小給我的那樣。
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No, I have got to go to work today.
不行,我今天一定得去上班。
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They are gonna fall apart at the office if I don't show up!
我不在的話,辦公室的大家會分崩離析的!
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Now, question for you, how much of this is too much?
現在,回答我,這個藥吃多少會過量?
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Because I think I'm starting to reach that point!
我覺得我快到臨界點了。
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I'm not skipping my workout just 'cause of a little cold.
我才不會因為一點小感冒就不去健身。
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No days off, bro.
兄弟,我沒在休息的。
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I go hard.
我都盡力的。
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Okay, all right, I'm taking the day off.
好吧,我休一天好了。
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I'm not gonna be coming in today, I really don't feel well.
我今天不會到,我身體不太舒服。
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I've got a headache, fever, chills, and I threw up right before I made this phone call, but that was just because I was nervous about calling in sick.
我頭痛、發燒還畏寒,就在打這通電話之前我還吐了。但那只是因為我對於打電話請假感到緊張。
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Yeah, I'm sick.
對,我有點感冒。
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Sick of all you suckas at the office.
對你們這些辦公室的爛人們感到感冒。
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Ha ha, gotcha!
哈,耍到你們了吧!
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Actually no, I have diarrhea, so I'm not coming in today.
沒啦,我拉肚子,我今天不會去上班。
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A sick day is a perfect opportunity to catch up on some reading.
生病修養的日子,就是一個閱讀的大好機會。
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Or to just watch YouTube for eight hours.
或是看 8 小時的 YouTube。
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Specifically the Frank James channel.
尤其是看 Frank James 的頻道。
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Dora!
Dora!
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Dora, you idiot!
Dora,妳這笨蛋!
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Swiper's right next to you!
Swiper 就在妳右邊啊!
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He's literally right there!
他就在那邊!
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Oh my gosh.
我的天!
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You suck at exploring.
妳超不會探險。
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It hurts to much to move my body.
連移動身子都感到劇痛。
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But I gotta get up and get that video game controller, or this will have been a wasted sick day.
但我得起身,拿到那電動手把,不然今天這個病假就浪費了。
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Time to regain my strength the only way I know how... arguing with fools online.
是時間恢復體力了,用我熟知的方法。那就是和網上的白痴爭論。
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Look at you, you're a mess!
看看你,糟透了!
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You're gonna let a little cold stop you?
你要讓一點小感冒停下你的腳步?
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Pull it together, man!
給我振作起來!
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♪ When you've got a cold ♪
♪ 當你受風寒 ♪
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♪ And you're feelin' low ♪
♪ 而你情緒低 ♪
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♪ Just remember when ♪
♪ 請謹記在心 ♪
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♪ Your sinuses were clear ♪
♪ 你的鼻子終究會通 ♪
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♪ And then make yourself ♪
♪ 屆時,給自己來碗 ♪
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♪ Some chicken soup ♪
♪ 雞湯吧 ♪
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All I have done today is rest and take my medication at the appropriate times.
我今天唯一做的事情就是休息,還有在適當的時間吃藥。
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So why can't I stop pooping?
那為什麼我還是在拉肚子?
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Mom!
媽!
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Mom!
媽!
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It's me!
是我!
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I have a headache, chills, other stuff.
我頭痛、畏寒,什麼的。