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  • Brainy Dose Presents: How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty

    Brainy Dose 為您呈現:到底怎麼說「不」才不會感到自責

  • Sometimes saying no to people can be difficult, or perhaps you're a sucker for saying yes all the time.

    有時候要對別人說「不」是件困難的事,又或是你真的是太容易就說「好」。

  • Why is it so hard to say the word "no"?

    到底為什麼「不」是如此難以啟齒?

  • Saying no doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't mean you are rude, unkind, or selfish.

    其實說「不」並不會使你成為壞人,也不代表你沒有禮貌、不友善或是自私。

  • Saying no is important, and it's okay.

    對別人說「不」是很重要,所以沒關係的。

  • So it's time you learn how to do so!

    該來學學如何開口拒絕囉!

  • Here are 10 tips to get you started.

    以下有 10 招:

  • Number 1: Start Using the Word.

    第一,開始學會說「不!」。

  • "No" is a powerful word.

    「不」是一個強而有力的字眼。

  • So start using it to your advantage!

    為了自己好,開始使用「不」吧!

  • Give yourself full permission to give a big, glorious NO to unreasonable favors, work you're not being paid for, activities you don't want to do, or situations that make you uncomfortable, people who drain you, and anything that negatively affects your health and mental well-being.

    允許自己大聲響亮地對一些事情說「不」:不合理的要求、沒有報酬的工作、不想參與的活動、會讓你不安的狀況、壓榨你的人,或是對你身心靈帶來負面影響等。

  • Using the word "no" more often will help you become more comfortable with saying the actual word.

    多使用「不」,可以讓你更習慣說這字。

  • And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get the message through to extremely persistent people.

    有時候多重複這詞,是唯一一個方法讓極度堅持糾纏你的人可以接收到你所傳達的訊息。

  • When they keep insisting, just keep saying no.

    他們不斷地堅持要求,你就不停地說「不」。

  • Eventually, they'll get the message!

    最終,他們會接收到的!

  • Number 2: Don't Apologize

    第二,不要道歉。

  • It's only natural that you wanna remain polite when saying no, and you often start out by saying "I'm sorry but …"

    在你說「不」的時候想要保持禮貌,這是很正常的,而你就會以「不好意思,但…」為開首。

  • Now, don't get me wrongbeing polite is important, but apologizing just makes your refusal sound weak.

    不過不要誤會我的意思,「禮貌」還是很重要。但道歉會讓你的回絕變得沒有說服力。

  • You need to be firm and unapologetic about saying no.

    你必須要堅決,不帶歉意地說「不」。

  • Number 3: Defer

    第三,延後決定。

  • If you're interested in the request, but you have some reservations, say something like: "Sounds interesting. Let me think it over first," or, "Can I get back to you on that?"

    如果你對他們提出的要求感到興趣,但你有些存疑,你可以說:聽起來還蠻有趣的,讓我先想想;或是,我可以晚點回覆你嗎?

  • This is great when dealing with high-pressure salesmen, or if you are too bogged down to think properly at the moment.

    在面對咄咄逼人的推銷員,或是當下你已經陷入苦況而無法正常思考,這會是個好方法。

  • This gives you time and space to think it over, rather than feeling pressured to decide on the spot.

    這可以給你時間和空間去思考,而不是在受壓力的當下做決定。

  • Number 4: Offer An Alternative

    第四,提出替代方案。

  • You can also respond in a way that works for you and you're comfortable with.

    你可以提出對你來說是可行而你又會覺得自在的方法。

  • This way you aren't really saying NO but you aren't really saying YES either.

    這樣的話,你就不是直接說「不」,但也不是說「好」。

  • For example; you can help find a solution.

    舉例來說,你可以幫忙想解決方法。

  • Let's say someone asks you to help them move.

    比如有人請你幫忙搬家。

  • You know that you're a lazy mofo and you'd probably just whine all day.

    你自知自己是個懶惰鬼,而你也大概只會整天在抱怨。

  • Instead of saying no, you can offer to gather a few common friends who would be more eager to help.

    與其說「不」,你可以提議說多找幾個會願意幫忙的共同朋友來。

  • This way, at least you show that you put in some effort.

    如此一來,能展現出你的確是有出一分力。

  • Number 5: Negotiate

    第五,協商。

  • Sometimes you can turn a no into a yes - if the other person is willing to do something in return.

    偶爾你也是可以從「不」轉成回答「好」,只要對方願意做一些事作交換。

  • This way, you won't need to feel bad for saying no, and you will get something in return for saying yes.

    如此一來,你就不必因為拒絕別人而感到不好意思,你又可以因為答應而作為交換條件。

  • For example: let's say your boss asks you to work on a new project, but you know that's just not possible because you have a deadline on your current project.

    例如,你的主管請你負責一個新的案子,但你知道短時間內無法完成,因為你手上案子的期限快到了。

  • So, what can you do in this tricky situation?

    要怎麼解決這難搞的情況呢?

  • Instead of complaining and saying that it's not possible, try to negotiate.

    與其抱怨和表示是不可能的任務,嘗試與對方協商。

  • Ask if this new project is of higher priority than the current one.

    詢問新案子的緊急程度。

  • Perhaps you could slip the deadline on your current project by a few days.

    也許新案子的期限可以比你手上的案子晚個幾天才交出來。

  • Number 6: Teach People to Expect That You Might Say No

    第六,教導他人你也是會有拒絕的可能。

  • One of the biggest problems with always saying yes is that you soon find that people begin to undervalue your time.

    當你都常常答應別人的要求後會產生一個很大的問題,你很快會發現他們不把你的時間當一回事。

  • If you're always saying yes, people will assume that you're always available, and if you happen to say no, they get upset!

    倘若你每次都答應,以後他們會先假設你都有空,而一旦你拒絕他們,他們會感到難過。

  • So start saying things like: "I appreciate your asking, but I really can't," Or… "I wish I could, but I'm swamped this week."

    從現在開始可以來學說:謝謝你來問我,但我真的不行;又或是…我也希望我有時間可以,但這星期我真的分身乏術。

  • Once people understand that the possibility of you saying yes or no is a 50/50, it will become much easier for you to actually say no, and they will become more accepting of your answer.

    他們一旦知道你答應的機率是 50/50,你之後要拒絕也會變得容易,而他們也會更容易接受你的答案。

  • Number 7: Keep It Brief

    第七,精簡回答。

  • Long answers give the asker more loopholes to come back at you.

    你的回覆愈長就愈容易給對方找到漏洞。

  • After you've said no, it is crucial that you don't start waffling!

    你一旦拒絕以後,最重要的是你不要再想要亂扯藉口!

  • While you may think that you're protecting people's feelings by concocting an excuse, there's really no need to be too specific.

    也許你覺得在編造藉口是為了保護他人的感受,但其實有時候話不用說得太白。

  • This is especially important if you said a little white lie, as lying about your reasons for saying no could lead you to feeling guilty!

    這真的是非常重要,尤其是因為你說了個善意的謊言,你覺得隱瞞說「不」真正的理由使你感到自責。

  • Remember, you don't owe other people a reason, and they don't have the authority over your life to tell you what should or should not matter to you.

    要記得,你沒有欠他們理由,而他們也沒有權利控制你,告訴你該做與不該做的事。

  • Number 8: Make a Not-To-Do List

    第八,列出「不要做」的清單。

  • You've made the decision to start saying no, and this is a great start, but now you will need a plan, otherwise you will likely end up falling back into your old ways.

    你決定了要開始說「不」,這是一個好的開始,不過你的生活還是需要有規劃,不然你很快就會打回原型。

  • Take 10-15 minutes and make a short list of all the things you want to avoid and say no to.

    花 10-15 分鐘來列出一個短短的清單,列明你不想做的事和你會想要拒絕的事。

  • Things that create a drag on your productivity, or just things that you really hate saying yes to.

    還有會拖慢你做事進度的事,以及只是一些你很不想答應的小事。

  • The list could be something like: I don't respond to text messages between 9-5.

    那張清單可以像這樣:九點至五點期間我不會回覆任何手機簡訊;

  • I don't schedule anything for Friday nights.

    星期五晚上不會安排任何事;

  • I don't schedule meetings before 11 am.

    早上 11 點前不安排會議;

  • Or I don't go out for drinks more than 2 nights per week.

    或是每個星期不會去喝酒多於兩個晚上。

  • Number 9: Make a To-Do List

    第九,列出待辦清單。

  • When you start your day without a plan, you leave yourself open to letting other peoples' demands dictate what you do with your day.

    當你的一天沒有好好規劃,你會讓別人對你請求的事來主導你的一天。

  • If you map out your day, you'll be more productive, relaxed and it will be a lot easier for you to say no to random things that come up throughout the day.

    把你的一天計劃好,做事會更有效率且輕鬆,而且要拒絕瑣碎的事情也會來得更簡單。

  • Number 10: Think of Saying No as an Act of Self-Love

    第十,視拒絕為自愛的表現。

  • We don't really think of it this way, but saying no is a radical act of self-love.

    我們不一定是這麼認為,不過說「不」本身是一種自愛的行為。

  • And self-love really means doing things that nourish you and make you feel good and energized.

    自愛的意思是做一些能幫助自己,能讓你覺得舒服和有動力的事情。

  • If you can't remember the last time you did any of these things, consider revisiting your stacked schedule.

    如果你記不起上一次做這些事是什麼時候的話,該來回顧那排得滿滿的日程表。

  • It might be just time to dust off the word "NO" and start using it!

    是時侯該把塵封的「不」重新拿出來使用!

  • It's important to have a healthy balance of saying yes and no.

    要在「好」和「不」之間取得合理的平衡是一件很重要的事。

  • This way people will have more respect for you and put more value on your time.

    其他人才會更尊重你和把你的時間看得更重要。

  • However, there will be times when you should say yes, whether you are lazy, simply don't want to, or have other obligations.

    不過還是會有你必須要說「好」的時候,不管你覺得懶惰與否,只是單純不想答應,又或是必不得已。

  • You know

    你也知道嘛…

  • Emergencies.

    緊急狀況。

  • Try not to be an asshole.

    但別當個混蛋。

  • If your friend is going through a crisis and could use your help, don't say no because you would rather paint your nails or wank your willy.

    如果你的朋友在緊急關頭而你能幫得上忙的話就不要說「不」,因為你的拒絕理由只是因為要擦指甲油或是想要自慰而已。

  • What do you think?

    你們的想法呢?

  • Do you know any other good ways to say no?

    還知道有什麼好的方法可以對別人說「不」?

  • What are some ways you've said no?

    你們會用什麼方式對別人說「不」?

  • Let us know in the comments below.

    歡迎在下面留言告訴我們。

  • Thanks for watching!

    謝謝收看!

  • If you enjoyed this video, slam a like on it, and share it with your friends!

    如果你們喜歡這部影片的話,請狠狠地給我們按讚,並與朋友分享。

  • It really does help us out.

    這真的能夠幫助到大家。

  • And if you wanna see more videos like this, hit the subscribe button!

    還想看到更多這類型的影片,就按下訂閱鍵吧!

Brainy Dose Presents: How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Brainy Dose 為您呈現:到底怎麼說「不」才不會感到自責

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到底怎麼說「不」? 10 招拒絕別人的方式!(How To Say NO Without Feeling Guilty)

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    Fibby 發佈於 2019 年 11 月 16 日
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