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  • -Last week was the third Democratic debate,

  • where 10 presidential hopefuls went head-to-head.

  • You know, I was actually going to make a joke about this story,

  • but I don't think it needs a joke.

  • I think it needs to be slow jammed.

  • You know what I'm talking about, Tariq?

  • -Yeah, Jimmy. I think you're saying

  • you want to slow jam this news. -That's right.

  • I want to slow jam the news, and I'm not the only one.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Hi.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • So, hello.

  • I am Senator Kamala Harris,

  • and I, too, would like to slow jam this news.

  • -Well, hit me six times!

  • ♪♪

  • -During last week's debate,

  • I told the American people why I'm running for president.

  • I'm a public servant, a civil-rights leader,

  • and the second African-American woman in history

  • to be elected to the United States Senate.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • At the core of my campaign is my 3:00 a.m. agenda,

  • my plan to solve the issues that keep Americans up at night.

  • I'll implement healthcare for all

  • and even give middle-class families $500 a month

  • right in their pockets.

  • And let me tell you something, I'm just getting started.

  • -Oh, yeah.

  • Kamala Harris is just heatin' up.

  • She's thinkin' about you late at night when you're trying

  • to put that sweet restless body of yours to bed.

  • Is that $500 in your pocket

  • or are you just happy your healthcare is free?

  • With Kamala, it's both.

  • -♪ Ever since Barack left, we've been off track

  • But Kamala is trying to get us back to black

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Now, here's a question for you, Kamala Cabello.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • This country's got a whole lot

  • of hot-button issues that we can touch on.

  • But what's the first thing we need to do

  • to give us all some relief?

  • -Well, let me start by saying this.

  • Climate change is the single greatest threat

  • facing our world today.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • That's why I'm committed to passing a Green New Deal,

  • creating clean jobs,

  • and finally putting an end to fracking once and for all.

  • -Mmm! Mmm-mmm-mmm.

  • Mamala Kamala just don't give a frack.

  • She took a good look at Mother Earth and decided it's a MILF.

  • A Mother I'd Like to Fix.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -♪ The planet is a MILF now

  • All right

  • -All right.

  • -♪ When it comes to climate, she's a real front-runner

  • She's heatin' up like it's still hot girl summer

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -I like the way you work it, K. Higgity.

  • But I gotta ask.

  • Lately this country has been so divided,

  • sleeping on opposite sides of the bed.

  • Why do you think we can't all just come together?

  • -Well, it's my opinion that we need a president

  • who fights for the best of who we are.

  • And over the past three years,

  • Donald Trump has done the exact opposite.

  • -Hold up.

  • So what you're trying to say is that Trump's the bad guy?

  • ♪♪

  • -Duh.

  • ♪♪

  • -Now, tell me this, Kama Kama Kama Kama Kamala Harris.

  • By now, we've seen the Democrats

  • get down and dirty on the debate stage.

  • What about debating President Trump?

  • Do you think you could deliver the goods

  • against the commander in cheese puff?

  • -Well, Jimmy, if I do debate President Trump,

  • I'm sure it'll be a competitive faceoff

  • where either one of us could end up on top.

  • -Really?

  • -No. I'd wipe the floor with him.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -All right, all right.

  • One last tango in Harris before this interview's over.

  • Now, we've got an audience

  • jam-packed with college students here tonight.

  • So what would you tell these curious coeds

  • that you haven't already?

  • -Well, just that together,

  • we can create the America we believe in.

  • We can uplift vulnerable communities,

  • and we can finally recognize that crippling student-loan debt

  • is a burden on all of us.

  • That's why we need to make college debt-free

  • for every American to attend.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Wow.

  • Now, that's someone who knows how to play to a college crowd.

  • Well, guess what. Two can play at that game.

  • Oh, yeah. White Claw fall.

  • Ow!

  • -Jimmy. Jimmy.

  • Uh, do less.

  • -♪ Kamala just dropped a bomb-a-la

  • -It's time for a leader who leads with their heart.

  • -We must stand together, or we'll all fall apart.

  • -♪ The nation is down, but we can rebound

  • The future is female, and her time is now

  • This girl is on fire, don't step on the fuse

  • -And that is how we slow jam the news.

  • -Oh, yeah.

  • -Give it up for Senator Kamala Harris!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

-Last week was the third Democratic debate,

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參議員卡馬拉-哈里斯的慢速果醬新聞。 (Slow Jam the News with Senator Kamala Harris)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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