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  • Umm..

    嗯...

  • (stutters) There's, there's some, there's some pretty good ones.

    有些笑話真的是蠻不賴的

  • Uhh..

    特別是有些..你們知道

  • Especially, you know one of the crazy things when you do these live Q&As is some of them are very silly, so we got one -

    當你在做現場問答環節時

  • "Mark, are the allegations true that you're secretly a lizard?"

    會有些很怪異的問題

  • Umm..

    其中一個是

  • (stutters) I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to go with no, on that. I, I am, I am NOT a lizard.

    "Mark,那些說你其實是一條蜥蝪的說法是真的嗎?"

  • Umm..

    我只能說我不是

  • But you know keep the high quality comments coming in.

    我不是蜥蝪

  • Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, WELL!!!

    但是,很可以,請你們繼續留這些高品質留言

  • Mr. Suckerberg, dunked yourself into a hole!

  • Mr. SSSucker!

    好!

  • SSSSUCKERBURG!!

    好!!

  • Not a lizard people, he said.

    好!!!

  • We've been seeing Mark Zuckerberg act strange for a long time, a long time now from, from the infamous or famous meme.

    好!!!!

  • Nice job team.

    好!!!!!

  • "New face filters on Instagram today."

    好!!!!!!

  • "This is my favorite one so far. Nice job team!"

    好!!!!!!!

  • New face filter on Instagram today.

    好!!!!!!!!

  • This is my favorite one so far.

    吸克柏先生,你這次挖坑自己跳了

  • Nice job team,

    *吸*克柏先生!!!

  • Something is cLeArLy off with Mark Suckerberg's

    **吸**克柏!!!

  • Antics before where what is it? Why is the man?

    他聲稱自己不是蜥蝪人

  • Leading a social media network so incapable

    他聲稱自己不是蜥蝪人

  • Of social

    我們發現祖克柏的行為怪異

  • ness

    有很長的一段時間了

  • This I just want to warn you guys what I'm about to show you next

    自從那個MEME出現之後就不斷發生

  • Might shock you.

    「一級棒喔 隊友們」這個梗

  • It might...

    "這是全新的instagram濾鏡功能,

  • ZZZzzuck (suck)

    這是我目前最喜歡的一個

  • To watch

    一級棒喔 隊友們"

  • especially for you Mark,

    *重複* 這是全新的Instagram濾鏡功能,

  • If you're watching.

    這是我目前最喜歡的一個

  • I know you are :).

    一級棒喔 隊友們

  • I know you're watching Mark.

    看來馬克.祖克柏的身份背後真的有鬼

  • Well I know you're sweating..

    我們現在面對的事實是甚麼?為什麼這個男人

  • Or can you sweat Mark?

    為什麼一個領導社交媒體的男人

  • Are you capable of human?

    完全不擅長

  • things?

    社交

  • Or do you just shed your skin?

    我想提醒一下各位觀眾,接下來我要給你看的

  • [Video] You kind of need to remind yourself that you need to focus, and-

    會讓你震驚

  • umm and try not to let stuff bother you as much as possible

    它會

  • But it is gonna bother you because you're Human,

    讓 你 震 精(驚)

  • and I was human

    特別是你喔,Mark

  • I am human still um..

    如果你在看的話

  • *Audience laughing*

    我知道你有在看喔,Mark

  • *Pewds has the mind of a Reddit detective*

    我知道你已經嚇到冷汗直流了

  • *Chuckles*

    噢 還是你會流汗嗎?

  • *INHALE*

    Mark??

  • [Felix] Let's keep watching.

    你會流汗這種人類..機制?

  • [Video] BUT UM-

    還是你只會蛻皮?

  • But it- but it was just reffering to myself in the past.

    "你有時候要提醒一下自己需要集中 嗯,盡量不讓琑事影響自己"

  • Um. (STOP WITH THOSE UM'S PLEASE)

    "但是它們還是會讓你分心的 因為你是一個人啊"

  • Not that I was not human-

    "我曾是"(?

  • I was just referring to myself in the p (quietly) *ast*

    "我也是 ...我仍然是人"(譯:暗黑3!?!?)

  • (what does it mean??) *Really really softly*

    ..............

  • Now that sort of thing doesn't just SLIP out of your tongue, okay Mark?

    *笑*

  • All right?

    *抽氣* 我們繼續看下去

  • "I was human"

    "但..嗯.."

  • That just doesn't happen

    "但...只是在說過去的我啦"

  • Normally, okay?

    "嗯.."

  • You just don't-

    "不是在說我不是人"

  • You just don't simply say stuff

    *重複* 我只是在說過去的我

  • That you're not supposed to say like

    *笑* (所以這意味著...??)

  • Uhh..

    那種話正常人不會突然說出來的.好嗎Mark?

  • Horrifically offensive words,

    好嗎?

  • That are genuinely frowned upon by the entirety of

    "我曾經是人類"!

  • Humankind except them-

    那平常根本不會發生啊

  • Okay, all right. Well.

    正常來說 好嗎?

  • It just DOESN'T HAPPEN MARK

    你正常根本不會

  • I Need answers..

    正常根本不會說出一些

  • [Video] But it is gonna bother you because you're human,

    平常不會說的話

  • And I was human,

    像是被完全被大眾唾棄,十分具攻擊性且冒犯人的字眼 (譯:pewd最近的妮歌事件)

  • I am human still *What do you mean.*

    但是他們私底下還是會-算了 好吧

  • *Audience laughing at Mark's words*

    反正不會有人這樣講話的!!MARK!!

  • but-

    我要真相!

  • [Felix] They cut away to the audience,

    "但是它們還是會讓你分心的 因為你是一個人啊"

  • You know they they-

    "我曾是.."

  • have his drone sitting in the back-

    "我也是 ...我仍然是人"

  • OH GAWD

    "但.."

  • OH GAWD x2

    他們把畫面切去觀眾那邊了,他們早就安排好了一個無人機在他後面待命.噢 老天!

  • [Felix] WE'VE HAVE A CODE RED OVER HERE

    天啊!!這邊出狀況了,灰色警戒!!! (譯:灰色=恐怖份子)

  • What is it that your hiding from us,Mark-e succ?

    你到底在隱瞞甚麼 馬克-吸克?

  • Why is your laptop webcam taped over with your microphone?

    為什麼你用膠帶把筆電的鏡頭跟麥克風都封起來了呢?

  • Is it so that during your shedding period?

    是不是每當你到蛻皮週期的時候

  • People won't find out? (loominarty)

    他們才不會發現?

  • well, I know because from one reptile to another I mean from one part..

    而我,我知道,因為我們是同類

  • *burp*

    我是指我們都是...

  • I know, okay. I just know I have sources--I have a reliable sources That's telling me that you're a reptile

    *嗝*

  • Okay, this is a really great channel that analyzes body language. Let's see what they have to say about the succ

    我知道的

  • so

    我就是知道

  • for me

    我有情報來源

  • The thing that I was really fascinated by it it always have been is

    我有可靠的線人

  • um

    告訴我你就是 爬 蟲

  • People right and how people work um you notice" we're gonna go back

    OKAY?

  • I didn't expect it to cut off from his body you see how he's sitting straight up

    這是個很棒的身體語言分析頻道

  • Hands on his knees head up chin level. Where as opposed to this guy who's mirroring Mark?

    來看看他們對吸克柏有甚麼看法

  • He slightly angled down in the face, so he's submitting to Mark. He's covering. He's open. He's dominating the space and he is

    "所以"

  • Purposely doing this and we'll I'll show you how I know is

    "對我來說"

  • People right and how people work

    "我一直以來都很著迷的"

  • In orders in college. I studied psychology and computer science

    "就是人啊"

  • very long

    "還有人們是如何運作的"

  • intense eye contact

    "你會注意到..."

  • He's purposely doing it looks away shortly purposely doing that as well thoughts come through it gives a break

    「我們回放一下」

  • But is to dominate "and you know one of the things that you learn when you study psychology is

    「我沒想到影片會突然就從他身上切到他的臉 觀察一下他坐的十分筆直」

  • That there are all these parts of the brain

    「手放在膝蓋上,頭抬至下巴跟地面平行」

  • Which are geared" say how long he's holding that eye contact now normally when you have someone who's submitting to you

    「而與Mark正對著的這個人」

  • And you're still continuously dominating them in the fashion that he's doing right now with his body posture his intense eye contact

    「他稍稍把臉向下,所以他正在對Mark臣服 而且雙手交差在隱藏自己」

  • You're going to give them a break and relax your body so that they can relax and be relaxed as well

    「Mark身體語言則是開放的 表示他正主導著這個空間中的交流」

  • so it's a relaxed atmosphere" It really feels like I'm I'm

    「而他是有意識的去做這個動作的」

  • We're breaking down and it's some sort of alien life-form here. Okay. That's been trained to mimic human behavior a

    「我會說明我到底怎麼知道的」

  • lot of stuff happened along the way, I think um

    "...還有人們是如何運作的"

  • You know there were real learning points and turning" and now we see the sweat, and that's one of the few things

    "我在大學的時候曾有讀過心理學跟電腦科學"

  • It's really hard to control." No no he doesn't sweat. He doesn't, he doesn't sweat come on. Let's get real here

    「相當長」

  • *Mark Zuckerberg,with the mind of a normie,tries to know what the Z U C C meme is*

    「相當頻繁的眼神交流」

  • What's the whole Z U C C thing? *Pewds laugh* Well, he's talking about oral sex

    「他正在刻意地做這個交流 然後短暫的轉移視線也是刻意的 有想到東西要講,眼神交流作了短暫的停頓」

  • Good morning Jarvis good morning mark. It's Saturday

    「目的就是主導甚麼時候要停」

  • So you only have five meetings room temperature is set to a cool

    "而你知道你在讀心理學其中要學的東西是"

  • 68 degrees

    "我們的腦袋有這些部分"

  • Earlier this year, I started building a simple AI to help run our home

    "是這樣去...."

  • I talked to Jarvis using this app I built it uses artificial intelligence to understand me and figure out what to do

    「看見他持續那個眼神接觸多久嗎?」

  • Max woke up a few minutes ago. I'm entertaining her all right. Let's go check on her

    「通常面對一個臣服的對象的時候 」

  • Practice our man

    「而由你主導這個交流,像是他現在在做的 用他的身體語言跟眼神交流之後」

  • Jarvis your Mandarin is so soothing. Jarvis also helps me get ready in the morning."fresh shirt!" "Fire in the hole!"

    「你正常會給點時間對手休息 還有給你自己身體去放鬆,連帶他們也可以稍微放鬆一下」

  • Hell yeah. and Jarvis can play all of our favourite music. Hey play us some good Nickelback songs" "I'm sorry Mark. I'm afraid

    「所以你能讓這個交流有和諧一點的氣氛」

  • I can't do that

    我真的感覺我們..嗯..

  • There are no good Nickelback song"

    我們漸漸逼近真相了

  • Good! that was actually a test all Nickelback sucks. Am I right everyone

    這是甚麼外星生物之類的東西,有沒有?

  • HEHEHE

    牠是受過人類行為模仿訓練的

  • Yeah, Nickelback is the worst.ohoho

    "一路上發生了很多事情 我想"

  • *Pewds laughs weirdly*

    "裡面總有些事物給我們上了一課或成為轉捩點"

  • Nickelback sucks

    「而現在公開場合,他則不由自主地流汗」

  • Oh they're the worst

    「那是少數很難控制的身體語...」

  • I hate them because everyone else hates them ahahaha. Have you heard of my Crocs? Haha?

    不 不 不 他不會流汗的

  • Who would wear them? Am I rite ahahaha

    他就爬蟲根本流不出來

  • I can't think for myself ahahaha

    我說真的

  • *HEHEHEHEHEHE*

    "kenneth留言:「Mark我看你連吸都不會吧」"

  • Anyway, I talked to Jarvis using this app

    "甚麼鬼?你直播過後再來跟我講那是甚麼東西吧"

  • I built it uses artificial intelligence to understand and figure out what to do. Jarvis also

    "我盡力幫你看看"

  • Helps me get ready in the morning "Fresh shirt!" "Fire in the hole!"

    "那個吸克 ZUCC是甚麼啊?我根本沒看過"

  • And Jarvis can play all of our favorite music. Okay, how about just play some songs that our whole family likes

    *模仿* 那個吸克 ZUCC是甚麼東西呢?

  • *Excision - Robo Kitty appears*

    *笑*

  • And if I don't want to talk, I could just text Jarvis through a messenger bot that I built

  • What the hell ya doing Z U C C

    *小聲* 他在講吸懶叫啦

  • My bad

    早喔 賈維斯 「早喔 馬克 今天是星期六」

  • auughh....

    「所以你只有5個會要開而已」 *facebook行政總裁設計了一個全新的虛擬助手賈維斯*

  • I think my favorite part of Mark is sense of humor. It's truly

    「室溫設定到涼快的華氏68度」 *對,上帝 又稱摩根.費曼在告訴祖克柏他的室溫*

  • I-It's something

    "今年年初,我開始設計一個簡單的AI幫助我處理家居日常"

  • Hey, welcome to F8!

    "我用這個自行開發的AI程式"

  • We're gathered here at the second biggest event called F8, this week and uh

    "來讓賈維斯理解我的指令"

  • You know we probably should have seen this one coming out there

    "並且想辦法執行"

  • Probably should've seen this coming after Fast and Furious 7

    「馬克斯在幾分鐘前已經起床了我在逗著她玩」

  • didn't

    "好 來去看看她吧"

  • It's our bad

    00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,359 "賈維斯 你的普通話令人心曠神怡喔" *賈維斯智能高的可以教你的孩子普通話*

  • Now while we don't have The Rock here today, We do have the tech equivalent David the Rock Marcus

    「謝謝」 *賈維斯智能高的可以教你的孩子普通話*

  • And while we may not live our lives a quarter mile at a time

    "賈維斯也幫我的每天早上作準備"

  • Did you feel that - that invokes some something in me man, what?

    "給我乾淨的衣服"

  • what ibasfomskfbsflsgtbsfkn

    「開火!!」 *賈維斯很明顯也兼職了籃球賽用炮射衣服出來那個跑龍套*

  • Again.While we may not live our lives a quarter mile at a time

    *賈維斯很明顯也兼職了籃球賽用炮射衣服出來那個跑龍套*

  • *Zoom in on Z U C C's face*

    "這才像話"

  • And we may not live our lives one quarter life at a time man I

    "賈維斯還能播我們最愛的音樂"

  • \Stop with those weird ass laughs Pewds/

    "嘿 來播些五分錢的好歌吧"

  • Know at least some guy here lived their lives one quarterly earnings at a time all right

    「對不起喔馬克,我想我不能這樣做」

  • All right, bear with me. I got one more one more for you." No no no Z U C C

    「五分錢連一支好歌都沒有」

  • I can't I can't well Fast and Furious' tagline is "Never Give Up On Family." Oh here it comes. "Our's is similar.

    "好!那其實是在測試你而已"

  • Never give up on the family of apps" [Why?????]

    五分錢爛到流湯了,對嘛各位?

  • Not as catchy

    哈哈哈

  • Not as catchy *Facepalm Pewds*

    耶,五分錢爛死了

  • Aww my god....

    *詭異的笑*

  • That has to be an inside joke please at least let that be an inside joke, oh my God -Christian Channel Pewds-

    五分錢爛死了

  • That's what progress in science is so fast you

    啊哈哈哈

  • might even call it

    他們最爛了 啊哈哈哈

  • Fast and Furious

    我討厭他們因為大家都討厭他們

  • *Vin Diesel walks away in shame*

    啊哈哈哈

  • What's with the Fast and Furious integration? It's clearly a sponsor.

    你聽過鱷魚牌嗎? 啊哈哈

  • Is Z U C C himself hashtags spon, without hashtag spon? Mark

    誰會穿它們?對吧? 啊哈哈哈哈

  • eeeeueeeueee

    我無法自行思考

  • You you you gotta you got to hashtag spon or hashtag add at least, I mean youtubers

    啊哈哈哈哈哈

  • We're just bombarded by this shit, and and all the shame and everything that comes with it

    隨便啦

  • "Oh you had a promo and you didn't disclose it with at least 48 hashtag adds all over the screen

    "我用這個自行開發的AI程式"

  • Blasted with giant symbols and the theme song of this is Sponsored, this is sponsored

    "來讓賈維斯理解我的指令"

  • I'm getting paid for this." what i- what it what is happening here, okay?

    *一級棒喔 隊友們XXD "並且想辦法執行"

  • But what what what kind of world dominating plot? Are they working on they're clearly doing in this at the Oscar?

    "賈維斯也幫我的每天早上作準備"

  • "Hey play some good Nickelback songs." *FUNNY Z U C C* Nickleback

    "給我乾淨的衣服"

  • Music is Satanic. One like equals one Prayer, type Amen in the comments if you scroll down and ignore you hate Jesus." "Good

    「開火」

  • That was actually a test. Okay, how about just play some songs that our whole family like?"

    *中斷錄影*

  • *The literal form of cancer*

    "賈維斯還能播放我們最愛的音樂"

  • They like you're watching and remember one like equals one Z U C C

    "好吧 播些我們全家都愛的音樂"

  • *PewDiePie awkwardly staring at the camera as he fakes positivity*

    *Excision - Robo Kitty*

Umm..

嗯...

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馬克 (Mark Zuckerberg Is Not Human)

  • 939 4
    Lisa   發佈於 2019 年 09 月 15 日
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