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  • I make mistakes while having sex, while talking about sex, even in my thinking about it.

  • This episode, sponsored by Adam and Eve is a collection of some of those sexual mistakes

  • and mishaps, as well as those you've sent me to share.

  • [WHIP CRACKING, COUGH]

  • Some of these are minor mistakes, others are more serious.

  • There's 21 so feel free to make a checklist and count how many you've made.

  • Literally blowing.

  • A blowjob is slang for oral sex on a phallus.

  • Typically licking, kissing, and massaging it with your mouth like I demonstrated in

  • this blowjob tutorial.

  • You might blow a little for a cool sensation

  • but blowing like you would a trumpet is a misunderstanding of the term.

  • This goes for vaginas too.

  • Forcing air into an enclosed space of the body can lead to an embolism and death.

  • So on it?

  • Yeah.

  • In it?

  • I wouldn't.

  • Sometimes air will get into vaginas anyway -- the position of sex might pump air in,

  • or the vagina itself will suck in air during contractions.

  • If this happens, the vagina may fart or queef.

  • This is not a mistake.

  • Shaming someone for any kind of bodily function is.

  • There are many ways to respond to unfamiliar sex sounds:

  • whoa, yeah!” cheerful laughter, “that was a good one,” silence like nothing happened,

  • moaning like it turned you on, or moaning to move on.

  • You might also speak up and ask for a different position that's less noisy.

  • Not asking for what you need is a big ol' mistake.

  • Another mistake is not knowing what you need.

  • As in not taking stock of your own sexual health and pleasure.

  • What do you need to feel safer during sex?

  • What kinds of touch are enjoyable?

  • How much time and privacy are important for you?

  • Do you need to be warm, clean, and connected to play?

  • Find out through masturbation!

  • One mistake I've made recently is not putting a towel down on the bed when one was needed

  • to keep the sheets from getting bloody.

  • Better than the mistake of not having sex on my period, though.

  • Red rhapsody feels great.

  • I'm super excitable and orgasmic, there's a bunch of extra lube, and sex is amazing

  • at relieving cramps and back pain!

  • AMAZING!!!

  • This doesn't mean you have to be into it or you've failed somehow if you aren't.

  • We all have different sexualities and different desires.

  • The mistake is when we judge others' as inferior or superior to our own rather than

  • appreciating diversity.

  • I noticed with a lot of clients they would compare their sex lives now to those of their past.

  • In most cases upset that they were having more sex, more spontaneous sex, more adventurous

  • sex and now....

  • It's more work, less frequent, it's hard to find time, or get in the mood.

  • The mistake here?

  • Not taking a complete inventory of the past vs the present.

  • If they did a thorough reflection on the past, it would include the positives as well as the negatives.

  • Another mistake I think we all make is not giving ourselves an opportunity to miss what

  • we had and to be mad and sad about change.

  • This applies to relationships, abuse you endured and or abuse perpetrated, grieve for the you

  • who didn't have the best communication skills, or wasn't given comprehensive sex education.

  • Grieve the loss of your full erections.

  • Then take action!

  • A common mistake I've made is identifying a problem, then soaking in it.

  • Like [WHINING SOUND]

  • For example, spanking hurts me not in a good way because my ass doesn't have a lot of padding.

  • But instead of proposing that my partner aim more intentionally or play in other ways

  • I foolishly expect them to be the solution, read my mind and grab my butt instead.

  • Mind reading or rather attempting to mind read is a huge source of error.

  • When I want someone to read my mind and they don't, because they can't -- it's disheartening.

  • And when I think I can read their mind but actually can't, end up scrambling things into a mess.

  • I recently decided that my partner thinks sex is too easy when I moan a lot.

  • In my mind, he misses the challenge of working for it.

  • "I'm too easy."

  • "I'm not what he wants."

  • [WHINING SOUND]

  • This isn't real.

  • This relates to a bigger problem of assuming things rather asking.

  • Wires get crossed and everyone's frustrated.

  • Here are some examples:

  • "I came, so sex is over."

  • The other person (usually a woman) doesn't want to come or need to come.

  • Or "Orgasm definitely happened!" (Even though it definitely didn't.)

  • An antidote for this thinking is communicating: how can we get you off?

  • How does this feel?

  • What would you like more of?

  • That's making sure that you don't assume they're good without climax.

  • Another mistake which I've made is assuming they're not good unless they climax.

  • Likeyou must want to come,”,“let's get you off,” “have an orgasm.”

  • Not all sexual activity has to include orgasm though and in fact you or your partner may not want it to.

  • Don't make the mistake of assuming sex or penetration or orgasm is the goal.

  • Also, please don't assume that what worked before will work again.

  • I had a partner who liked me pulling on his scrotum to hold off orgasm so I did this with

  • another partner assuming it would get the same reaction.

  • NOPE!

  • Literally different strokes for different folks.

  • And in my case I need different strokes depending on the time of month.

  • For years I made the mistake of not tracking my hormones.

  • I didn't want to know -- just wanted go with the flow....

  • But now that I keep a daily log of my emotions and my cycle -- I know when my skin is going

  • to be sensitive or why I'm feeling spikey and I can give the people around me a heads up.

  • Colby Marie has a blog where she lists the three big bedroom blunders people make and

  • has not prioritizing sex at number 1:

  • She writes, “Sex has numerous mental, physical, emotional and social health benefits.

  • We make it a point of prioritizing other activities that provide these benefits (such as doctor

  • appointments, going to the gym, etc.), but will often neglect sexytime because it doesn't

  • seem as "important."

  • Agreed.

  • A little mistake, which is easy to make, is saying something during sex that your partner can't hear.

  • Like if you're holding my face to tell me that you love me and this position feels so

  • good, I can't hear you because you're covering my ears!

  • Sexy talk, dirty talk, open communication -- they all need a clear voice and nice volume.

  • Mistake: getting tested for sexually transmitted infections during the window period (when

  • you can't determine whether or not the results are accurate) and using those potentially

  • inaccurate results to describe your status.

  • Make sure you understand what your test results mean and when it's safest to have sex.

  • According to the Guttmacher Institute nearly half of all pregnancies are unplanned.

  • So the mistake -- Not using contraception correctly or at all.

  • Identify ways to prevent the pregnancies you don't want and put those plans in place correctly.

  • Last one, at least for today, is the mistake of thinking good sex is natural.

  • It's not -- we naturally have mediocre sex.

  • The good parts of it come from masturbation, open communication, expanding our understanding

  • of sexuality, and staying curious.

  • Stay curious.

  • A big thanks to AdamandEve.com for making this episode possible.

  • They're an online sex toy store that sells all sorts of goodies to improve your sex life.

  • You can get all these pretties and many other on their website AdamandEve.com.

  • They'll even give you 50% off of an eligible item in your shopping cart if you use the

  • discount code DOE plus free shipping in the US and Canada.

I make mistakes while having sex, while talking about sex, even in my thinking about it.

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21性错误 (21 Sex Mistakes)

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    封伟   發佈於 2019 年 08 月 13 日
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