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Imagine that you've just received some negative information about me,
想像如果你在演講之前
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just before this talk.
獲知一些關於我的壞話,
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Maybe he or she who's with you today has heard some rumors about me,
跟你一起來的人聽到和我有關的謠言,
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some rumors about me being incompetent,
有些謠言很站不住腳,
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being a liar, being a bragger,
例如我會說謊、我是騙子,
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that I wear women's underwear.
或是我會穿女性內衣,
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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How much do you think that would affect your image of me right now?
你們覺得現在這些謠言對我的形象會有多少影響?
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As a psychotherapist, working with occupational health,
作為一個專精職場健康的精神治療師,
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I've met countless employees and leaders,
我認識無數個員工和主管
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who are suffering from a toxic and unhealthy working environment.
受苦於不愉快或不健康的工作環境,
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They are struggling because they're lacking knowledge,
他們不知道如何改變環境,
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how to change the environment.
因此只能苦苦掙扎,
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They need outside help.
他們需要外界的幫助,
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I've tried to help them and failed, times and times again.
我試著幫助他們但一次又一次的失敗,
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I've tried conflict resolutions,
我嘗試過解決衝突、
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group discussions, individual interviews,
團體討論、個別諮商、
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leadership coaching,
領導力訓練,
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failing time and time again to change this unhealthy working environment.
但是不斷失敗,無法改變這不健康的工作環境,
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So -
因此,
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Ten years ago, I started a little investigation of my own.
十年前我開始自己做個小調查,
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I was trying to figure out why it is so hard to change,
想要找出職場環境難以改變的理由,
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and I found out that a great number of employees and leaders
後來我發現非常多員工和主管
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were talking negatively about their colleagues
會在同事不在場時
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when they were not present.
說他們的壞話,
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Namely, backbiting.
也就是背後中傷,
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So, the definition of backbiting is talking negatively
背後中傷意思是在某個第三者不在場時
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about a third person who's not present.
講他們不好的事情,
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I have a question for you all.
我有個問題想問大家,
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Please raise your hand
麻煩你們之後舉手讓我知道答案,
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if you think backbiting takes place at your workplace or place of study.
如果你覺得背後中傷有發生在你工作或上學的地方,
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Please raise your hand.
請舉手,
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Wow! OK. Thank you very much.
哇,好謝謝你們,
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It's not exact, but I think about 90% of you raised your hand.
我不確定有多少,但我覺得有百分之九十的人都舉手了。
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In ancient Greece,
從前在古希臘時代,
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the great philosopher Socrates met an acquaintance on the street,
偉大的哲學家蘇格拉底在街上遇到一個老朋友,
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and the acquaintance said,
老朋友說:
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"Hey, Socrates, have you heard the latest news about your friend?"
「嗨蘇格拉底,你有聽到你朋友最近的的事情嗎?」
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And Socrates says, "No, but before you tell this news,
蘇格拉底回答:「沒有,但你跟我說之前,
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I want you to pass a little test.
我想要你先通過一個測試,
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It's called the triple-filter test."
叫做三段檢驗法。」
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"The triple-filter test?", he said. "OK."
對方說:「三段檢驗法?好。」
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"First question:
第一題:
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what you're going to tell me about my friend, is it true?"
你要跟我講的消息是真的嗎?
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"Oh, no. I just heard it. I don't know."
噢,不確定,那是我剛才聽到的,
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"OK. You can still pass the test.
沒關係,你還是可以繼續測試,
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The second question:
第二題
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is it anything good you're going to tell me about my friend?"
那件跟我朋友有關的事是好的嗎?
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"Oh, no. On the contrary," he said. "Nothing good."
不,正好相反,是不好的事情,
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"OK. You may still pass the test.
好的,你還是可以繼續測驗,
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The third question:
第三題:
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what you're going to tell me, is it useful?"
你要跟我講的事情有任何實用性嗎?
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"Oh, no. It's not useful."
不,那不實用,
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"OK," Socrates said.
蘇格拉底說:好的,
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"First of all, you don't know if it's true.
第一,你不知道那是不是真的,
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Second, it's nothing good.
第二,這是不好的事情,
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Third of all, it's nothing useful.
第三:沒什麼用途,
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Why bother tell me?"
那為什麼還要花時間告訴我?
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Do you know who, in our society today, that backbites?
你們知道在當今社會有誰會在背後中傷他人嗎?
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Yes. Women.
對,女人,
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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It's women.
是女人。
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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It's another major group, as well.
還有另外一個主要群體─
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Namely, men.
就是男人,
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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And why do we backbite?
那為什麼我們會在背後講其他人壞話?
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When I backbite,
當我們講壞話時,
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I've got this feeling of elevating myself, while talking other people down.
我們會覺得把他人講得不好,自己的地位就會變高,
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In an additional bonus,
另一個我覺得很有意思的額外好處是
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I seem interesting because I've got some juicy information that you don't have.
我有一些其他人不知道的吸引人消息,
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This is how we, as adults, are bullying each other.
這就是成年人霸凌他人的方法,
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I have a second question for you.
我的第二個問題:
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Please raise your hand if you want to work in a place
如果你希望在沒有背後中傷的職場環境工作
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where there is no backbiting going on.
請舉手,
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No gossip.
沒有流言蜚語,
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OK. Thank you very much.
好的,謝謝你們
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It's interesting, right?
這很有趣對吧?
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How to get a permanent end to backbiting?
要怎麼永遠終止背後中傷?
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I have done one genius thing in my life.
我之前做過一個很天才的事情,
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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I think this is it.
我覺得這方法就可以。
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I call it "Gossip 2016,"
我叫它 2016 八卦,
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and this is how you can all apply it in your workplace, if you want to.
如果你們有興趣,接下來我會告訴你如何在職場應用,
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First of all, you gather a group.
第一,先組織一個團體,
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Perhaps, not as many as you are.
也許不用跟在場的人一樣多,
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Second of all, you ask the first question:
第二,你問第一個問題:
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"Do you believe backbiting takes place here?",
你覺得背後中傷有在這裡發生嗎?
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and they will raise their hand.
然後他們會舉手,
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Third, you need to define what backbiting is.
第三,你必須為背後中傷下定義,
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Use this triple-filter test. It's good, right?
可以用三段檢驗法,這方法很棒對吧?
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Fourth, ask the second question:
第四,問第二個問題:
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"Would you like to work in a workplace where there's no backbiting?",
你們想要在一個沒有背後中傷的職場環境工作嗎?
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and they will raise their hand.
會有人舉手,
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Then, you get a good old-fashioned flipboard,
接著拿個舊式的活動掛圖版,
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and you capitalize "Gossip 2016,"
寫上 GOSSIP 2016, 字母都大寫,
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and you ask your group if they want to join a project
接著問你的團隊想不想加入
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that will last for six months: "No Backbiting Takes Place Here."
持續六個月的任務「職場零壞話」,
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And they will sign. This is what obligates them.
讓他們簽名,這會讓他們覺得自己有義務不能講他人壞話,
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After they sign it, you [put] this sheet in a glass and frame,
簽名後你把這張紙放在玻璃錶框裡,
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you put it on a wall where everybody can see it,
放在牆上讓所有人都能看見,
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and every week, for next six months,
接下來的六個月
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you ask the group, "How are we doing with Gossip 2016?"
每周你要問參與的成員們挑戰進行得如何,
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This may seem simple, maybe naive.
這個方法可能很簡單,也可能很天真,
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Too good to be true, right?
不太真實、讓人不敢置信,對吧?
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But it works! I know!
可是我知道這個有效!
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And I have over -
而且我可以─
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I don't have, but it's over 250 CEOs in different companies
我沒辦法自己作證,
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that could verify this.
但超過兩百五十間公司的 CEO 可以證實這點,
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It works.
這真的有效,
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They could also tell you that absenteeism, sick leave, goes down,
他們也會告訴你曠職和病假也因此減少,
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and fractionation is minimized,
公司裡的不和降到最低,
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and productivity is increasing.
生產力也提高了,
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If you take this concept a bit further,
你可以把這個概念延伸─
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you all heard about the discussions about how young people and children
常常會聽到人們討論青少年和小孩
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are being bullied at school and on social media.
在學校或社群媒體遭受霸凌的議題,
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I think that I, as an adult, [have] the responsibility
我覺得我自己作為成人,
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to be a good role model.
有責任當一個好榜樣,
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I have to stop talking negatively about my uncle, about my neighbor,
在家裡吃晚餐時,
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about my colleague, about my mother-in-law,
我不能再講自己伯父、鄰居、
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around the dinner table at home,
同事、女婿的壞話,
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because, if I don't do that,
因為我若不停止,
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I'm actually saying to my children it's OK to talk negatively
我便是在告訴小孩可以
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about the third person that's not there.
在某人不在場時講他們的壞話,
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New consciousness commits.
這種新意識需要花時間投入,
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Thank you for your attention.
謝謝聆聽。