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  • I'd like you to imagine what it would feel like

    我想請各位試著 想像一下這樣的感覺:

  • if, for two whole minutes, your left arm was continuously flapping,

    如果,有整整兩分鐘, 你的左手臂持續拍打,

  • your eyes were constantly rolling,

    你的雙眼不斷轉動,

  • your jaw was clenching so hard

    你的下巴緊緊咬合著,

  • that it felt like your teeth were about to break,

    感覺好像你的牙齒 就要咬到裂開一樣,

  • and every ten seconds,

    且每十秒鐘,

  • you were forced to let out a loud, high-pitched screech.

    你被迫要用高音大聲 發出尖刺的聲音。

  • (Tic)

    (痙攣+尖聲)

  • This is how I lived at the young age of six,

    我在六歲的時候就這樣過日子,

  • every waking moment, seven days a week.

    一週七天,醒著的每一刻都是如此。

  • (Tic)

    (痙攣+尖聲)

  • And these were only some of my symptoms.

    且這些僅是我所有 症狀的一部分而已。

  • When these symptoms surfaced, my life literally changed overnight.

    當這些症狀出現時, 我的人生真的可說是風雲變色。

  • I could no longer go to school, see my friends or even eat out,

    我不再能去上學、見朋友, 我甚至不能在外面吃飯,

  • because my tics would attract the attention of everyone in the room.

    因為我的痙攣會引來 房間中所有人的注意。

  • In search for a cure, we flew to New York

    為了尋找解藥,我們飛到紐約,

  • to meet with the best pediatric neuropsychologist my parents could find.

    去會見我父母能找到 最好的小兒神經心理學家。

  • (Tic)

    (痙攣+尖聲)

  • But the doctor did not give us the easy remedy we had hoped for.

    但,醫生並沒有提供 我們期望的簡單治療。

  • Instead, she diagnosed me with an incurable neurological disorder,

    她反而診斷我得了 無法治癒的神經系統疾病,

  • Tourette syndrome.

    (痙攣+尖聲)

  • Oftentimes, medication can be an essential and valuable part

    妥瑞症。

  • of many treatment processes.

    通常,在許多治療過程中,

  • But in my case, the drugs only made things worse.

    藥物是很重要且有用的部分。

  • One drug put me in a wheelchair,

    但在我的情況中, 藥物只會有反效果。

  • because my legs had gotten so numb that I couldn't move them.

    有一種藥物讓我坐上輪椅,

  • Another one caused me to hallucinate.

    因為我的雙腳麻木到無法移動。

  • I would see green people running after me,

    另一種藥物讓我產生幻覺。

  • threatening to boil me in a pot and drink me as soup.

    我會看見綠色的人在追我,

  • And it was really scary.

    威脅要把我丟到 沸水中煮成湯來喝。

  • We tried drug after drug

    那十分駭人。

  • to find something that would bring me some sort of relief.

    我們不斷嘗試藥物,

  • But every single attempt just ended up making things worse.

    想找到某種能讓我能 至少鬆口氣的方式。

  • It is estimated that in 2013 in the United States alone,

    但每一次的嘗試, 最後都只是讓狀況更糟。

  • the prescription drug expenditure

    據估計,2013 年,光是在美國,

  • to treat neurological conditions and mental illness

    用來治療神經系統疾病和心理疾病的處方藥的支出,

  • was about 89 billion dollars annually.

    一年大約是 890 億美金。

  • But imagine if there were a way to treat these conditions

    但,想像一下,如果有辦法 可以治療這些疾病,

  • without a price or without side effects.

    沒有價格,且沒有副作用。

  • Imagine if your doctor prescribed you a daily dose of music.

    想像一下,如果你的醫生 開給你的藥是每天一劑音樂。

  • I'm here today to share with you my personal experience with music

    今天我來跟各位分享的, 就是我對於音樂的個人體驗,

  • and the effect that it had on my neurological disorder.

    以及音樂如何影響 我的神經系統疾病。

  • (Tic)

    (痙攣+尖聲)

  • Tourette syndrome is essentially a series

    基本的上,妥瑞症就是一連串

  • of involuntary movements and sounds,

    即一般所知的痙攣。

  • known as tics.

  • The best way for me to really describe what it's like to have Tourette syndrome

    非自主性的動作和聲音,

  • is something I'm sure you're all very familiar with --

    對我來說,要描述得了妥瑞症 是怎樣的狀況,最好的形容就是各位都很熟悉的——

  • the hiccups.

    打嗝。

  • You can try to stop yourself from the act.

    你可以試著阻止你自己打嗝。

  • You can hold your breath and count to 10, or drink water upside down,

    你可以閉氣然後數到十, 或是顛倒過來喝水,

  • but there is just nothing you can do about it

    但你還是無能為力,

  • until the sensation passes and the hiccups have taken their course.

    直到那感覺過去,打嗝自然結束。

  • I often lay on my bedroom floor after an attack of tics,

    在痙攣襲擊過後,我通常 會躺在我臥室的地板上,

  • feeling exhausted and in despair.

    筋疲力盡,且覺得很絕望。

  • (Tic)

    (痙攣+尖聲)

  • My equally desperate mother would attempt to soothe me and herself

    我媽媽同樣也很絕望, 她會試著安慰我和她自己,

  • by putting on some music.

    做法就是放音樂。

  • She would play peaceful music to soothe our aching hearts.

    她會放平靜的音樂, 來平撫我們疼痛的心。

  • And we'd lie together on the floor

    我們會一起躺在地板上,

  • and allow the beat of the drums to uplift us.

    敲擊的鼓聲會使我們振奮起來。

  • And as the rhythms and the tunes unfolded,

    隨著節奏和曲調出現,

  • our spirits would rise, our moods would be lighter,

    我們的精神會提振, 我們的心情會比較輕鬆一點,

  • and we would be rejuvenated.

    我們會再次恢復活力。

  • (Tic)

    (痙攣+尖聲)

  • Very soon, and rather unknowingly, I became an addict of this newfound drug.

    很快地,且算是不知不覺地, 我對於這種新發現的藥物上了癮。

  • When I found myself slipping into my bouts of sadness and self-pity,

    當我發現我又開始下一回合的 悲傷和自怨自艾時,

  • I would rush to the 88 keys of my piano,

    我就會快去找 我的鋼琴的 88 個琴鍵,

  • knowing in my heart that the tones and rhythms from each one of those keys

    我心裡很清楚, 那些琴鍵傳來的曲調和節奏

  • would soon set me free.

    很快就會讓我得到解放。

  • At the time, I didn't realize how much music was helping me.

    當時,我並不知道音樂 對我的幫助有多大。

  • It was just something I did by default.

    我就是這麼做。

  • When I wrote my songs, it wasn't to impress anybody.

    當我寫歌時,我的目的並不是 要讓任何人對我印象深刻。

  • It was just a release.

    那只是一種解脫方式。

  • But the more I played, the less my symptoms surfaced,

    但,我演奏得越多, 我的症狀就越少出現,

  • and the intensity of my attacks reduced.

    且症狀發作時的強度也有減低。

  • So I became curious as to how these songs were soothing my symptoms.

    所以,我開始好奇這些歌曲 如何能夠緩和我的症狀。

  • And I wondered if there were any other cases of medicinal music.

    我很納悶,是否有其他 用音樂當藥物的案例存在?

  • So I began to search.

    所以我開始搜尋。

  • I found that there was a highly successful US congresswoman,

    我發現,有一位非常成功的 美國眾議院女議員,

  • Gabby Giffords, who was shot in the head.

    嘉貝麗吉佛斯, 她的頭部遭到槍擊。

  • She lost her ability to speak.

    她失去了說話能力。

  • Because the ability to speak and the ability to sing

    因為說話和唱歌的能力

  • lay in two separate parts of the brain,

    位在大腦中兩個不同的區域,

  • her doctors brought in music therapists to work with her.

    她的醫生請音樂治療師 介入,來協助她。

  • The therapists encouraged her to sing her thoughts,

    治療師鼓勵她唱出她的想法,

  • since she was incapable of speaking them.

    因為她無法把想法說出來。

  • And through this technique,

    透過這項技巧,

  • the congresswoman was finally able to regain her speech.

    這名女眾議員終於 重新恢復了說話能力。

  • Music helped heal Gabby Giffords.

    音樂協助治癒了嘉貝麗吉佛斯。

  • Scientists have found that music causes our brains to release a natural painkiller

    科學家發現,音樂會讓我們的大腦 釋放出一種天然的止痛劑,

  • known as oxytocin

    即一般所知的催產素,

  • and a feel-good chemical, dopamine.

    還有一種令人感覺很棒的 化學物質,多巴胺。

  • Dopamine is essential for a healthy nervous system

    多巴胺對神經系統的 健康是很重要的,

  • and strongly impacts emotional health.

    且它對情緒健康的影響甚大。

  • Music also affects our heart rate, breathing and pulse rate,

    音樂也會影響我們的 心跳率、呼吸,和脈搏,

  • as it stimulates blood flow.

    因為音樂會刺激血流。

  • In addition, it lowers our cortisol levels,

    此外,音樂會降低 我們的皮質醇濃度,

  • thus reducing anxiety,

    因而減輕焦慮,

  • which is a common stimulant for neurological symptoms.

    對於神經系統症狀, 它是一種常見的刺激物。

  • In our lifetimes, we are all going to know someone with a neurological disorder.

    在我們的一生中,都有可能 認識神經系統疾病患者。

  • If it's not a family member --

    如果不是家中的成員——

  • (Tic)

    (痙攣+尖聲)

  • it could be a friend or a coworker.

    也有可能是朋友、同事。

  • Please help me spread this message:

    請協助我將這個訊息傳播出去:

  • music has the ability to uplift our lives and heal us from within.

    音樂可以振奮我們的生命, 從內在治癒我們。

  • I still have Tourette syndrome.

    我仍然有妥瑞症。

  • I deal with it every day, every hour.

    我每天、每小時都要去處理它。

  • I'm going to deal with it for the rest of my life.

    我接下來的人生 也都得要去處理它。

  • And that means that I have to frequently excuse myself from my classroom,

    那就表示,我常常得要 暫時離開我的教室,

  • because my verbal tics can be extremely distracting.

    因為我的言語痙攣可能 會造成極大的分心作用。

  • That means that sometimes when I wink my eyes involuntarily,

    那就表示,有時, 當我不自主地眨眼時,

  • the guy sitting opposite from me thinks I'm flirting with him,

    坐在我對面的男人 會以為我在挑逗他,

  • when I'm really not.

    但我其實沒有。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And I have to tell him, "Sorry -- I wasn't trying to flirt."

    我得要告訴他:「對不起—— 我不是在試著調情。」

  • But the most amazing thing is

    但,最驚人的是,

  • that when I sing, play music and even just listen to music,

    當我唱歌、演奏音樂, 甚至只是聽音樂時,

  • I don't tic.

    我就不會痙攣。

  • I've been onstage numerous times in highly stressful situations,

    我已經多次站上壓力極大的舞台,

  • with thousands of people watching me.

    有數千人看著我。

  • And while I do tic before my performance --

    雖然我在演出之前確實會痙攣——

  • (Tic)

    (痙攣+尖聲)

  • when the music starts, the tics take a back seat.

    當音樂開始時, 痙攣就坐到後座去了。

  • So I may have written my own lyrics and composed my own music.

    所以,雖然我自己寫了詞、作了曲。

  • But in reality, I've realized it was the music that composed me.

    但,在現實中,我發現其實是音樂在安定 (和「作曲」同一個字)我。

  • Thank you.

    謝謝。

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • (Tic)

    (痙攣+尖聲)

  • (Music)

    (音樂)

  • (Singing) I think I took my mask off too soon

    (唱歌)我想我太早 取下我的面具了,

  • 'Cause you were there and then you were not

    因為你本來在那裡, 接著就不在了。

  • I think I pushed it all onto you

    我想,我把一切都推給了你。

  • I should have dragged it out dragged it out

    我應該要把一切拖出去的, 把一切拖出去的。

  • I think that maybe each time I lose a bit of myself I put it back on

    我想,也許每次 我失去一點點自我,我就會再把它戴上。

  • Just to fake it till I break my own heart in two

    只是做偽裝,直到我 把我自己的心打破成兩半。

  • And oh I wanted you to know the real me

    喔,我希望你能認識真正的我,

  • And take it seriously

    並認真看待。

  • But now

    但,現在,

  • I'm not loving you I'm not loving you

    我並不愛你。我並不愛你。

  • I'm not loving you

    我並不愛你。

  • I thought I could trust you

    我以為我可以信任你,

  • But you're running away from me and my mask

    但你逃離了我和我的面具。

  • I'm not loving you I'm not loving you

    我並不愛你。我並不愛你。

  • I'm not loving you

    我並不愛你。

  • Right now

    現在,

  • I think I took my mask off too soon

    我想我太早取下我的面具了,

  • Because you screamed when I pulled it off

    因為我把它脫下來時, 你大叫出來。

  • You told me you were unprepared

    你告訴我,你沒做好準備,

  • And like that just like that

    像那樣,就像那樣。

  • I think that maybe this time it hurt more than it ever has before

    我想,這次也許會 比以往都還要痛。

  • I think maybe this blow I took was a little more

    我想,我承受的這一擊 稍微強了一些,

  • A little more

    稍微強了一些。

  • And oh I wanted you to know the real me

    喔,我希望你能認識真正的我,

  • And take it seriously

    並認真看待。

  • But now

    但,現在,

  • I'm not loving you I'm not loving you

    我並不愛你。我並不愛你。

  • I'm not loving you

    我並不愛你。

  • I thought I could trust you

    我以為我可以信任你,

  • But you're running away from me and my mask

    但你逃離了我和我的面具。

  • I'm not loving you I'm not loving you

    我並不愛你。我並不愛你。

  • I'm not loving you

    我並不愛你。

  • Right now

    現在。

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

I'd like you to imagine what it would feel like

我想請各位試著 想像一下這樣的感覺:

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音樂的魅力 (How music gives me back control | Esha Alwani)

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    Tony 發佈於 2019 年 04 月 28 日
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