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  • Translator: Dan Meyer Reviewer: Denise RQ

    譯者:丹-梅耶 審稿:丹尼斯-RQ

  • Thanks, man.

    謝謝,夥計。

  • I'm excited about being here. We're going to have some fun.

    我很興奮在這裡。我們將有一些樂趣。

  • My name is Michael Jr.

    我叫小邁克爾

  • I'm going to do some jokes.

    我要去做一些笑話。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • Yet, at the same time, I'd like to explain to you how life

    然而,與此同時,我想向你解釋一下,生活是如何的

  • well, how comedy works.

    好了,喜劇是如何工作的。

  • So let's stop right here.

    所以,我們就到此為止吧。

  • I actually like the city of Reno a lot.

    其實我很喜歡裡諾這個城市。

  • I was here once...

    我曾經來過這裡...

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • I was here once;

    我曾經來過這裡。

  • I was keynote speaking for a corporation

    我曾為一家公司做主題演講

  • and something really kind of strange happened when I was here.

    我在這裡的時候,發生了一件很奇怪的事情。

  • Normally, I'm the type of person I like to be on a stage alone.

    平時,我是那種喜歡一個人在舞臺上的人。

  • I don't need any help or anybody...

    我不需要任何人的幫助... ...

  • So this CEO of this large company introduces me, and he has the microphone,

    所以這個大公司的CEO給我介紹,他有麥克風。

  • and normally, we have two different mics, and he leaves, and then, I'm there.

    通常,我們有兩個不同的麥克風, 他離開,然後,我在那裡。

  • That's the plan.

    這就是計劃。

  • Dude stays there.

    哥們留在那裡。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I'm standing right next to him with no mic.

    我就站在他旁邊,沒有麥克風。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And then he looks at the audience, and I'm standing there, and he says...

    然後他看著觀眾,我站在那裡,他說... ...

  • First, let me explain this.

    首先,讓我來解釋一下。

  • I'm the type of comedian, like, I'm observational.

    我是那種喜劇演員,喜歡,我是觀察型的。

  • I pay attention to things like college students.

    我關注大學生等事情。

  • Take someone who goes to a nice school

    帶一個上好學校的人去

  • like the University of Southern California.

    如南加州大學。

  • Ask them what school they go to, you get a nice quick answer,

    問他們上什麼學校,你會得到一個漂亮的快速回答。

  • - "What school you go to?" - "USC."

    - "你上的是什麼學校?"- "南加州大學。"

  • New York University - you get a nice quick answer,

    紐約大學--你會得到一個不錯的快速答案。

  • - "What school you go to?" - "NYU."

    - "你上什麼學校?"- "紐約大學。"

  • Ask somebody who goes to community college.

    問問那些上社區大學的人。

  • You get a much longer response, don't you?

    你得到的迴應要長得多,不是嗎?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • "What school you go to?"

    "你上什麼學校?"

  • "Well, see, right now, what I'm doing, I'm gonna get a couple credits, right?

    "嗯,你看,現在我做的事,會有幾個學分吧?

  • Then my financial aid is supposed to come through.

    那麼我的經濟援助應該會通過。

  • Then I'm gonna transfer, man.

    那我要轉學了,夥計。

  • They say school kills creativity anyway.

    他們說學校反正會扼殺創造力。

  • Man, I feel vulnerable. Is Brené Brown around?

    夥計,我覺得很脆弱。Brené Brown在嗎?

  • Man, I feel very vulnerable right now."

    夥計,我現在感覺很脆弱。"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Let me tell you a little more about me.

    讓我再告訴你一些關於我的事。

  • I love being a dad.

    我喜歡當爸爸。

  • And I have five kids, yeah.

    而且我有五個孩子,是的。

  • And I travel a lot

    而且我經常旅行

  • so I can see them all.

    所以我可以看到他們所有。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Ha, ha! I'm just playing. I don't see them, I don't see them.

    哈,哈!我只是在玩。我沒看到他們,我沒看到他們。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • No, I do. I have five kids. They're all with me.

    不,我有。我有五個孩子。他們都和我在一起。

  • I live in Dallas now.

    我現在住在達拉斯。

  • My kids are awesome.

    我的孩子們都很厲害。

  • The thing about having a big family is

    有一個大家庭的事情是

  • you always have to figure out ways to save money.

    你總是要想辦法省錢。

  • We wanted to get our family pictures taken,

    我們想拍張全家福。

  • and that stuff was expensive.

    而且那東西很貴。

  • So what we did to save money was we all got in the front seat of the car,

    所以我們為了省錢所做的就是我們都坐到了車的前座。

  • looked both ways, and ran a red light.

    看了看兩邊,闖了紅燈。

  • That's what we did. That's what we did.

    這就是我們所做的。這就是我們所做的。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Two weeks later, the picture came in the mail.

    兩週後,照片寄來了。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • But my son blinked

    但我兒子眨了眨眼睛

  • so we had to do it again, we had to do it again.

    所以我們不得不再做一次,我們不得不再做一次。

  • This stuff is crazy.

    這東西太瘋狂了。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I was doing that joke in prison recently.

    我最近在監獄裡也在講這個笑話。

  • I wasn't in prison, like, "Hey, I'm funny. Get off me!"

    我不是在監獄裡,像,"嘿,我很有趣。放開我!"

  • It wasn't like that.

    不是這樣的。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Whenever we're doing a big live event - like we're doing one tonight in Reno -

    每當我們在做一個大型的現場活動時--就像我們今晚在裡諾做的那樣

  • whenever we do a large ticketed event, a concert, in a city,

    每當我們在一個城市舉辦大型票務活動、音樂會時。

  • we always look for a homeless shelter, a prison, an abused children's facility

    我們一直在尋找一個無家可歸的庇護所, 監獄,受虐待的兒童設施。

  • to go to during the day to do comedy.

    白天要去說相聲。

  • So I'm so I'm doing a prison this time...

    所以,我所以我這次要做監獄... ...

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • It's a TEDx talk, I don't got that much time.

    這是一個TEDx演講,我沒有那麼多時間。

  • You don't got to clap, it's OK.

    你不用鼓掌,沒關係的。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So we're doing this prison, and I do the joke about the red light,

    所以我們在做這個監獄,我做的笑話紅燈。

  • and 75% of the prisoners laughed;

    和75%的犯人都笑了。

  • the rest of them... nothing.

    其餘的人... 什麼都沒有。

  • Then I realized what was going on.

    然後,我意識到是怎麼回事。

  • Some of them had been locked up so long,

    他們中的一些人被關了這麼久。

  • the dude next to them had to explain the joke.

    旁邊的人不得不解釋這個笑話。

  • He was like, "See, nowadays, when you run a red light,

    他說:"你看,現在闖紅燈的時候。

  • they send a picture with the ticket in the mail."

    他們在郵件中發了一張帶有票據的照片。"

  • Then he looked at the dude next to him,

    然後他看了看旁邊的夥計。

  • "A red light is what they use for traffic when you go down the road."

    "紅綠燈就是你在路上走的時候,他們用的交通燈。"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And then he said, "A road is what they use..."

    然後他說:"他們用的是路......"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Wow!

    哇!

  • Where am I at right now, man?

    我現在在哪裡,夥計?

  • So I'd like to explain to you how comedy works.

    所以我想給你解釋一下喜劇是怎麼運作的。

  • This is how comedy works; really all comedy.

    喜劇就是這樣,其實都是喜劇。

  • Any time you laugh, this formula is taking place in one way or another,

    任何時候,你笑的時候,這個公式都在以某種方式發生。

  • but specifically, with regards to stand-up, this is how it works as well.

    但具體到站立的問題,也是這樣的。

  • First, there's a setup, and then, there's a punchline.

    首先,有一個設定,然後,有一個衝鋒號。

  • Let me explain.

    讓我解釋一下。

  • The setup is when a comedian will use his talents and resources

    設置是當一個喜劇演員會使用他的天賦和資源時

  • to seize any opportunity

    不擇手段

  • to ensure that you, the audience, are moving in the same direction.

    以確保你,觀眾,在同一個方向前進。

  • The punchline occurs when he changes that direction

    當他改變這個方向時,就出現了笑點

  • in a way you're not expecting.

    以一種你意想不到的方式。

  • When you catch on to this change, you've received the punchline.

    當你抓住了這個變化,你就收到了衝動。

  • The results are revelation, fulfillment, and joy expressed through laughter.

    結果是通過笑聲表達的啟示、滿足和喜悅。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Let me give you an example.

    讓我給你舉個例子。

  • A few summers ago, I took my family on vacation to Mexico.

    幾年前的夏天,我帶著家人去墨西哥度假。

  • The first two days were rough

    前兩天很辛苦

  • because the people there kept calling me a "Negro."

    因為那裡的人一直叫我 "黑鬼"。

  • The third day, I realized they were saying "amigo,"

    第三天,我意識到他們在說 "朋友"

  • and it was all cool; that was cool, so...

    這一切都很酷,這是很酷,所以... ...

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Did you see what just happened right there?

    你看到剛才發生的事了嗎?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So when I was a child, I used to struggle with my reading.

    所以小時候,我曾經為自己的閱讀而苦惱。

  • I used to really have a hard time reading.

    我以前讀書真的很辛苦。

  • I don't know, I just struggled with it.

    我不知道,我只是在掙扎。

  • I read now just fine;

    我現在看書就好了。

  • like the signs over the door that say 'exite, ' I can read that stuff.

    就像門上寫著 "退出 "的牌子一樣,我能看懂那些東西。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • But when I was a kid, I used to struggle with my reading.

    但小時候,我曾經為自己的閱讀而苦惱。

  • I couldn't sound a word out phonetically, it just didn't work.

    我一個字音都發不出來,就是不行。

  • So now, looking back at it, I realize I developed seven different ways

    所以現在回過頭來看,我發現我開發了七種不同的方法。

  • to look at a word to determine what the word was.

    要看一個字來確定這個字是什麼。

  • And I just started noticing this really in junior high.

    而我真正開始注意到這一點是在國中。

  • So I would look at the font size, the color, the positioning,

    所以我會看字體大小、顏色、位置。

  • what's in front of it, what's behind it, how people responded to it.

    前面是什麼,後面是什麼,人們對它的反應如何。

  • I got really good at looking at words differently

    我真的很善於用不同的眼光看待文字

  • to the point in high school, people didn't know I wasn't really reading

    以至於在高中的時候,人們不知道我不是真的在讀書

  • I was just working it out really, really fast.

    我只是在研究它真的,真的很快。

  • Now as an adult, I read just fine,

    現在成年後,我讀書就好了。

  • but I still have this ability to look at words, and people, and situations

    但我還是有這種能力去看文字,看人,看情況。

  • seven different ways almost immediately.

    七種不同的方式幾乎立即。

  • In fact, it's the primary place where I pull my comedy from.

    事實上,這是我最主要的喜劇來源地。

  • So that very thing from my past that looked like it was a setback,

    所以,我過去的那件事,看起來就像一個挫折。

  • looked like it was some sort of handicap,

    看起來像是某種障礙。

  • turns out I'm actually able to use it for what I'm called to do now.

    原來我現在居然能用它來做我叫做的事。

  • So just like you, you've probably had some sort of setbacks,

    所以就像你一樣,你可能也有一些挫折。

  • but if you, in a way, would embrace it,

    但如果你,在某種程度上,會接受它。

  • you'll probably find there's more opportunities out there.

    你可能會發現外面有更多的機會。

  • Now I find comedy all over the place.

    現在我發現到處都是喜劇。

  • At the airport today:

    今天在機場。

  • little white kid walked up to me, asked for an autograph.

    白人小孩向我走來,問我要簽名。

  • I was like, "Hey buddy, what's your name?" He said, "I'm Tanner."

    我當時想,"嘿,哥們,你叫什麼名字?"他說,"我是坦納。"

  • I looked at him, I said, "No, you're not."

    我看著他,我說:"不,你不是。"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • His mom was cracking up.

    他媽媽都快崩潰了。

  • He was like, "I am Tanner!"

    他就像,"我是坦納!"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • "No. Trust me. You're not."

    "不,相信我。你不是。"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Or I'll notice stuff; I saw this dude with a muscle shirt on.

    或者我會注意到一些東西,我看到這個傢伙穿著肌肉襯衫。

  • You ever see a dude with a muscle shirt, like a white tank,

    你見過一個穿肌肉衫的傢伙嗎,就像一個白色的坦克。

  • but he ain't got no muscles?

    但他沒有肌肉?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • What is that? A wife threatener?

    那是什麼?妻子威脅者?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Depending on where you're from in the country,

    要看你是國內哪裡的人。

  • you'll understand that joke better.

    你會明白這個笑話更好。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And his friend had on a shirt that said,

    而他的朋友穿著一件襯衫,上面寫著。

  • "If you don't speak English, leave the country."

    "如果你不會說英語,就離開這個國家。"

  • Hmm... but it was written in English. So...

    嗯... 但它是用英語寫的。所以...

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So I walked up to him, and I said, "You're dumb!"

    所以我走到他面前,我說:"你是個啞巴!"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • But I said it in Spanish though so he wouldn't know...

    但我是用西班牙語說的,所以他不知道... ...

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So I'm able to find comedy in a bunch of different places

    所以我可以在很多不同的地方找到喜劇。

  • as a result of embracing what seemed like it was a handicap from my past.

    由於接受了似乎是我過去的一個障礙。

  • I notice even what people say sometimes.

    我有時甚至會注意到別人說的話。

  • Have you ever heard the phrase,

    你有沒有聽過這樣一句話:

  • "Boy, I wish I could've been a fly on the wall"?

    "孩子,我希望我能成為牆上的一隻蒼蠅"?

  • Every time I hear that, I walk up to the person, and I say,

    每次我聽到這句話,我都會走到那個人面前,然後我說。

  • "And then what?"

    "然後呢?"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • No, no, no, no.

    不,不,不,不。

  • You want to be a fly on the wall

    你想成為牆上的一隻蒼蠅

  • so you could hear the information that was in the room.

    所以你可以聽到房間裡的資訊。

  • Well, I've done the research.

    好吧,我已經做了研究。

  • Hmm... Flies don't have ears.

    嗯...蒼蠅沒有耳朵

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • You would be just as ignorant as you currently are

    你會和你現在一樣無知的

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • but you would be a fly.

    但你會是一隻蒼蠅。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Nobody even listens to a fly.

    甚至沒有人聽一隻蒼蠅的話。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I mean, let's say you're a fly that could read lips.

    我是說,假設你是一隻會讀脣語的蒼蠅。

  • What are you going to do with the information?

    你打算怎麼處理這些資訊?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And you've got two days to live.

    而你還有兩天的生命。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • You're making bad choices.

    你在做錯誤的選擇。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Or people will say stuff to me like,

    或者人們會對我說這樣的話。

  • "Michael Jr., where you from originally?"

    "小邁克爾,你原來是哪裡人?"

  • I'm like, "Originally? Huh. Well, I was conceived in Michigan."

    我說:"原來如此?咦,我是在密歇根州受孕的。嗯,我是在密歇根州孕育的。"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • "Before that, I was in my dad."

    "在此之前,我在我爸。"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • "And then, there was a swim competition," right?

    "然後,有一個游泳比賽,"對嗎?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • "And I won, which is crazy"

    "我贏了,這太瘋狂了"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • "because currently, I don't swim at all."

    "因為目前,我根本不游泳。"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I used to be pretty good though, apparently.

    不過我以前很厲害,顯然。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I am not politically correct.

    我不是政治正確的人。

  • I'm just going to tell: I know I do comedy, but it's just too much work.

    我只想說。我知道我是做喜劇的,但這太辛苦了。

  • I'm just telling you.

    我只是告訴你。

  • You have to watch the news and know the language.

    你要看新聞,要懂語言。

  • If you put the right stuff in your heart, the right stuff will come out.

    只要你把正確的東西放在心裡,正確的東西就會出來。

  • So I never tried, I never try to be politically correct.

    所以我從來沒有嘗試過,我從來沒有嘗試過政治正確。

  • Some people work hard.

    有些人工作很辛苦。

  • I'm at a coffee shop; a white guy in front of me orders a coffee.

    我在一家咖啡店,我前面的一個白人點了一杯咖啡。

  • The lady in front of him is like, "How do you want it?"

    他面前的女士就說:"你要怎麼做?"

  • He looked back at me and was like, "Um, African-American please."

    他回頭看了看我,就說:"嗯,非裔美國人,謝謝。"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I was like, "Cool. Let me get the Caucasian Mocha.

    我當時想,"酷。讓我得到高加索摩卡。

  • Let me get that if I could...

    如果可以的話,讓我來接... ...

  • just get the Caucasian Mocha, I guess.

    只是得到高加索摩卡,我猜。

  • I'm trying to learn, I'm trying to learn."

    我在努力學習,我在努力學習。"

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Coaches would say some stuff too.

    教練也會說一些東西。

  • Ever hear your coach say something like,

    有沒有聽你的教練說過這樣的話。

  • "The stuff I'm teaching here, it's not just about this game,

    "我在這裡教的東西,不僅僅是這個遊戲。

  • You could apply it to life."

    你可以把它運用到生活中去。"

  • Here's the