It's so fucking cold.

喔！老天！真的超...

This is the last fucking time I'm trusting Tinder pictures.

真他O的太冷了

Let's start off with the Junji Ito Collection since I've never been a fan of horror anime because, well...

Gigguk 為您呈現

There's never been that

2018冬番大集錦

scary. But as a fan of Junji Ito's very unsettling horror that worms it's way into your pschye

這是我他O的最後一次相信Tinder上的照片了

I've always thought that a good adaptation of his work was the last bastion of hope for horror anime.

先來講伊藤潤二驚選集好了，因為我從來都不喜歡看恐怖類的動漫

I think I've lost all hope now.

從來都沒有感到這麼

Alright, the second episode was a lot better

恐怖。但身為一個伊藤潤二的粉絲，它坐立難安的恐懼會找到它自己的入口進入你的心靈

but I think the real problem lies in that his terrifying art just falls a bit flat in this adaptation

我一直覺得它改編的內容是恐怖動漫的最後防線

IF it can even be captured at all.

我想這個沒救了

So, instead, let's watch this cute little show about baby sitters.

好吧，下一集會更好

Baby sitters?

但我想這部最大的問題是，在原作中的恐怖畫面被改編成動畫就有點沒什麼感覺了

Baby shitters.

就算你能把它完全的重現上來 （意指動畫不太適合伊藤潤二的風格）

At least, I think these are babies are not adorably reanimated nendoroids

那我們來這這個可愛、有關保母的番吧

and really, what can I say?

（保母寫作Baby Sitters，不過日文口音聽起來像Shitter，你們懂的...）

Japan is back at it again trying to get their population to breed

保母?

with a show about babies being absolutely adorable little bastards.

鳥母。

YEAH! FUCK HIM UP! FUCK! FUCK HIM! FUCK HIM UP!

至少，我沒覺得這些小孩沒可愛到我認為他們是黏土人

You know, it's shows like this that remind me that babies can actually be really cute.

說真的，我又能怎麼說?

When there's not 5 of them sitting next to you on a 13 hour flight, every time apparently.

日本又來了，嘗試提高他們的生育率

Wait... Makoto Shinkai, is that you?

用一個小孩子像王八蛋一樣可愛的節目

And here we see a tech demo of a scene rendered in real time

對!幹爆他!幹爆他!打死他!幹爆他!

running on the new KyoAni engine.

你知道嗎，這節目讓我覺得小寶寶其實可以很可愛的

Now let's compare this to shots from the real life engine and as you can see

只要不是每次都有5個小鬼在13小時的航班上就坐在你旁邊就好了我想

real life is looking pretty ugly right now.

等等.....新海誠是你?

Do we have any questions?

接著，我們來看能即時圖像處理的技術展示影片

Yeah... excuse me.

由京都動畫引擎所做出來的結果

This is a great tech demo but can we expect the plot or characters to be patched in anytime soon?

現在讓我們拿這個跟現實世界引擎來做比較，你們可以發現

Someone. Someone get this guy out.

現實世界 看起來 醜爆了

Yeah I'm not really feeling this so far.

我們有任何問題嗎?

I mean it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen but at the moment

有...不好意思我有

it's just very pretty looking cardboard.

這個技術展示很棒，但我們能不能期待一下情節或者是角色的修正會出現呢？

Violet at the beginning is bland enough to dilute the taste of sandpaper

來人...來人啊...把這個人拖出去

and nothing is grabbing me about the plot.

嗯...我不抱有很大的期待

The backstory seems way more interesting than what's going on.

我的意思是，這是我看過最漂亮的東西之一，但目前看來

JUST ASK THEM TO READ THE LETTER BACK TO YOU

這只是看起來很漂亮的立牌

AND STOP PLAYING 'HARD-TO-GET' YOU STUPID THIRSTY COCK-TEASING DICK-MONGREL...

紫羅蘭從剛開始的劇情看來就是淡到你嘴巴都感覺不到任何味道似的

But I guess I'll still be watching to see if things do pick up in The Kuudere Adventures of Fullmetal Saber.

而且在故事情節中根本沒有能夠打中我的點的內容

See, the problem with watching a show right after Violet Evergarden

背景設定似乎比劇情還要精彩

is that my mind is now wired to think that everything looks absolutely awful by comparison.

叫他們唸一遍你寫的信給你聽不就好了

So hold on, I'm just gonna have to bleach my eyes back to normal.

別搞什麼"我搞不懂"了，你這白癡混蛋小雜種

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

（妳這婊雜勒供三小？）

Okay I think that should do the trick.

但我想我還是會繼續看這部《鋼之騎士王賽巴 -- 冷嬌的冒險》到底有沒有好料的會端上來

Huh, Saber, what are you doing here again? And why've you been downgraded to 360p?

但...在看過紫羅蘭永恆花園後立刻去看別的片子之後會有個問題

God, and look at this saber rip-off! Jesus, they're not even trying anymore!

就是我的腦子變得怪怪的，好像任何東西跟這部相比，看起來畫面都實在是超難看

I mean this just looks like Fate!

所以...等等，我要去用漂白水把眼睛洗回正常狀況

It is Fate!

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

It's another Fate guys!

好吧，我覺得這樣應該有比較好。

It's...

喔~Saber！你現在又在這裡幹嘛了？為什麼你的畫質會降成360p啊？

It's another fucking Fate guys.

我的天，看看這個假saber！天啊，他們根本放棄治療了我看

You know... as happy as I am that we can add another Fate to the small list that already exists.

我的意思是，這看起來就像Fate！

Is it even possible to keep track of where everything fits?

正是Fate！

But, you know what? I'm just... I'm gonna let this go.

各位，又一個Fate！

It's just one more Fate show to add to the collection this season.

是...

NO.

各位看看，又是一部他娘的Fate。

WHY.

你知道的...我很高興我們終於能在Fate系列的小列表中又加入另一個Fate

WHY IS THERE A FATE SHOW ABOUT SHIROU COOKING FOOD?

（"小"列表？）

WHEN DOES THIS FIT IN THE TIMELINE?!

這劇情真的還有任何完全連貫的可能性嗎？

OH GOD! IT'S BY FUCKING UFOTABLE TOO!

但是，你知道嗎？我想...我選擇不去在意這個了

WHY UFOTABLE?

這只是本季加入的另一個Fate系列。

DON'T YOU HAVE HEAVEN'S FEEL TO BE WORKING ON?!

不！

THIS IS NOT WHAT WE MEANT WHEN WE SAID WE WANTED MORE TYPE-MOON FROM YOU!

為啥？

Now THIS. THIS I can get behind though.

為什麼連士郎下廚都能做成番？

I don't know why I enjoyed Overlord Season 1 as much as I did

這又發生在Fate的時間線上的哪個點了？

being an isekai about a guy trapped in a video game and yes...

天啊！又是UFOTABLE做的！

I did get bored half-way through saying that sentence.

為什麼UFOTABLE？

But being able to watch a ridiculously overpowered villain try to take over the world

你們不是有個HEAVEN'S FEEL要做嗎？

was just the nice popcorn entertainment I needed, just before I got bored of the concept.

這不是我們說「想要更多TYPE-MOON新作」的意思好嗎！？

So I am very much looking forward to Season 2.

這個，這個我可以不必多說

I'm also obligated to say that BookWalker are doing an Overlord giveaway now

我不知道為什麼我喜歡不死者之王第一季

and you can win this Nendoroid by buying any of the Overlord light novels and using

就算是一個關於一個被困在電玩遊戲異世界中的人，然後，對

00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:58,820 Details at the end.

在我這句話說一半的時候，我還真的覺得無聊了

And now, coming from the guy who skips openings comes an opening I will not skip.

但是能看到一個OP到誇張的反派角色試圖統治世界

Because HOLY SHIT. This track is a FUCKING TUNE.

對我來說是值得抱著爆米花桶來觀賞的...在我對這種背景設定感到無聊之前啦

ARE YOU LISTENING TO THIS RIGHT NOW?

所以我非常期待第二季

Oh, and... this show has something to do with stopping time and a giant stand or something but

我也有義務說現在BookWalker正在做不死者之王贈送活動

CAN WE JUST JAM TO THIS OPENING A BIT MORE?

你可以透過購買任何不死者之王輕小說來獲得這個黏土人

HOW ABOUT I JUST SHUT UP AND LET IT PLAY?

00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:58,820 詳情在最後

MUSIC: "「Flashback」by MIYAVI vs Kenken"

現在，來了個我這個老跳OP的人絕對不會跳的OP

MUFFLED SPEAKERS PLAY "「Flashback」by MIYAVI vs Kenken"

因為哇操。這首歌是他媽好聽。

SMASH

你們有在聽嗎？

Yo Sydney what's that?

哦，而且......這節目與停下來的時間和一個巨大東東或某事有關

I...

我們可以只要爽聽這OP久一點嗎？

IT'S MY FUCKING JAM

我乾脆閉嘴繼續放它好了？

And now for my secret technique.

音樂：“MIYAVI vs Kenken的「Flashback」

ELECTRONIC SCREECHING

（用聲音鳥到暴的音響放MIYAVI vs Kenken的"Flashback"）

GASPS

*敲*

You...

喲Sydney那是什麼？

are already gay.

我...

NANI?!

這是我他媽的JAM! （雙關意為：完全是我的Tone）

Citrus should be an essential part of everyone's diet.

現在...在我的秘密技能之下。

Studies have shown that consuming the right amount of Citrus can give you health benefits such as:

（刺耳的金屬聲）

a healthy heart

*嬌喘*

reduced risk to cancer

你...

healthy skin

已經是同性戀了

a raging boner

什麼！？

Common types of Citrus fruits that are healthy for you can include:

柑橘類該是每個人飲食中的必須攝取物

oranges

研究表明，攝入適量的柑橘可以為您帶來健康益處，例如：

lemons

一顆健康的心

incest

降低癌症風險

lesbian incest

健康的皮膚

'lesbian-sexually-assaults-sister' incest

一個狂熱的勃起

and...

對你來說能帶來健康的柑橘類水果常見類型有包括：

grapefruit!

橘子

Is this it?

檸檬

Is this the next evolution in the trash genre?

亂倫

I mean we've had yuri's.

女同亂倫

We've had imouto's.

"女同性侵犯姐妹"亂倫

But now... got ready for:

和...

No...

葡萄柚！

This is going even further.

就這樣嗎？

Finally! After all these years we have perfected the forbidden formula.

這是肉番的全新進化嗎？

Yuri!

我的意思是，我們已經看過百合番

Incest!

也有妹番

NTR!

但現在...讓我們準備迎接

Rape!

百合妹番！

By your powers combined, I am

不...

CAPTAIN

這已經更進化了

SMUT!

經過這麼多年，我們終於完成了禁忌的配方

Guys I... I think I'm starting to realise this isn't an anime about oranges.

女同！

Woah! Makoto Shinkai!

亂倫！

Is that you?

NTR！

So we got the dream daddy anime adaptation we never asked for

強姦！

with a neck to challenge Welcome to the Ballroom's crown.

結合你們的力量，我就是

And a lot could have gone wrong in a plot about a school girl crushing on a man double her age

變態

but I actually really like her. She was weird, but adorably weird.

隊長

And you know what? Right now I'm actually just rooting for her to shoot for her dreams and hopefully make it.

各位我......我想我已經意識到這不是關於橘子的動畫了

APPLAUSE

哇！新海誠！

MISSES

是你嗎？

At least...

所以...現在來了從來沒人想過要看的「我魂牽夢縈的老爹」類型的番

At least you tried.

而且這番還有著能跟舞動青春尬誰是長頸之王的脖子

You know I honestly think The Boss Baby totally deserves the Oscar nomination over A Silent Voice.

很多人可能誤認是關於一名女學生愛上一個大她兩倍的人的故事

It's just fair, you know, for an award like this.

但我其實很喜歡她。她很奇怪，但是可愛的奇怪。

Oh did you hear they're doing the Anime Awards again this year?

然後你猜怎麼著？我現在還真的支持她去追求(Shoot）她的夢想，希望她能做到

I do hope my favourite wins again like when I voted for Yuri on Ice.

*掌聲*

And here it comes! It's...

*沒進* (譯：投籃的英文也是shoot，雙關)

It's the edge of the season.

至少...

I mean what is this even?

至少你嘗試過

Kemono Friends gone wild?

你知道，我真的認為寶貝老闆比聲之形更完全值得奧斯卡提名。

DRAMATIC JAPANESE SPEECH AGAINST DRAMATIC MUSIC

你知道，像這樣的獎項是公平的。

Hmm...

哦，你聽說他們今年再次做動漫獎嗎？

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

我希望我最喜歡的作品能得獎，就像我投給Yuri on Ice一樣。

Eh

來了！那就是...

CLICK

本季邊緣的存在

You know what? Let's just clear our palette with a nice inoffensive anime about shogi.

我是說，這究竟是什麼鬼？

Uh oh.

"動物朋友---超野性"嗎？

I don't think I like where this is going...

*戲劇化的日文演說搭上戲劇化的音樂*

Oh for fuck. I was just trying to watch an anime about shogi!

嗯...

That's the thing about anime lolis...

嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯...

I get older

嘛

and they...

*點*

they just keep getting fucking younger, don't they?

你知道嗎？我們還是來看個無害的正常向將棋番來淨化我們的色相好了

Jesus Christ, why the fuck do you keep doing this anime?

師匠大人！歡迎回家！！

Uh huh, wow! Thanks Madhouse for reminding us about No Game No Life!

喔喔...

You know just in time for you to never give us Season 2

我不認為我會喜歡接下來發生的...

Okay I gotta be honest.

妳今年幾歲了？

You know that feeling when you think you could be watching something that turns out really special?

九歲

This series was it for me.

喔！法克！我只是想看個有關將棋的動畫而已！！！

It's rare that I find a show that captures the youthful optimism, camaradarie

動漫蘿莉的狀態是這樣的：

and adolescent spirit as well as this does.

我越來越老了

Every episode is brimming with energy.

然後她們...

The cast have some of the best chemistry I've ever seen

他們就是越變越他O的幼，不是嗎？

and it's incredibly inspiring for anyone who's ever wanted to undertake an adventure in their lives

我的耶穌啊！為什麼你他O的你們要一直做這種番啦？

but never had the courage to.

咳嗯...哇！感謝Madhouse讓我們想起了遊戲人生！

Really capturing that free-spirited journey.

剛好準時在這個...反正你們也不會做第二季的好時機裡

I have really high hopes for this, not only because there are few phrases that can get me going as much as:

好吧，我必須老實說。

This is a Madhouse original anime.

你知道那種你覺得你看完之後就感到很特別的那種感覺嗎？

ORGASMIC SQUEAL

這系列對我來說就是這種感覺

But every episode thus far has hit all the right points with absolute ease.

我很少能找到能夠捕捉到年輕樂觀主義的節目，友情

Of course with high school girls going to the desolate harsh environment Antarctica is

和青少年精神這樣的番

I see absolutely no issue with a bunch of young children

每一集都充滿活力。

exploring an uninhabited and dangerous world by themselves.

演員陣容有我見過的最好的化學反應

HEY HOLD ON A SECOND!

對於任何想要在生活中進行冒險來說，但從來沒有勇氣的人

Hey! Makoto Shinkai!

這是令人難以置信的啟發

Is that you?

真正捕捉到那自由奔放的旅程。

Alright it's time for Pop Team Epic.

我對此抱有很高的期望，這不僅因為沒有什麼句子可以讓我像以下那樣：

I don't really know what to expect, but, let's see what this is about.

這是Madhouse的原創動漫

MUSIC: "Ode To Joy"

*呻吟*

What?!

但到目前為止，每一集都絕對輕鬆地達到了所有正確的點。

Oh. Hey! It's a show about ramen!

當然，隨著高中女生去荒涼、嚴苛的環境:南極洲

I wonder what this is gonna be like.

我看到一群年輕的孩子完全沒有問題

SLURPS

自己探索無人居住的危險世界。

What?!

嘿，等一下！

名前、君の名は？ Name, what's your name?

嘿!新海誠！

Hey! Makoto Shinkai!

是你嗎？

Is that you?

好的，是Pop Team Epic的時候了。

But hey, look! It's an older man groping a younger woman in the workplace.

我真的不知道該期待什麼，但是，讓我們看看這是關於什麼的。

Well this is sure to go down well in 2018.

音樂：“歡樂頌”

Oh my God guys. I think...

三小？

I think I've found her.

哦。嘿!這是關於拉麵的節目！

It's girl of the season!

我不知道這會是什麼樣子。

I think...

*吸*

I think I'm gonna claim her

J又是三小？

She's mine!

名前，君の名は？ 名字，你叫什麼名字？

HEY

嘿!新海誠！

GET OFF ME I FOUND HER FIRST!

是你嗎？

So this is the newest collaboration between A-1 Pictures and Studio Trigger which you can really tell

但是，嘿，看！這是一個年長的男人在工作場所"摸透"一個年輕女子。

because it looks like they've taken Trigger's style and sanded off all the edges.

痾....在2018，你一定 出門不被車撞。

And I did want to talk about the mecha designs which are of course very 'Star Driver'-esque

哦，我的天啊各位。我認為...

and how this show feels like it's sorely missing a Hiroyuki Sawano score.

我想我找到了她。

I mean I can't be the only one who's watching these scenes and waiting for a Sawano drop.

這是本季的女孩！

But, for now... I have something more important to say...

我認為...

And this is for all of us...

我想我會佔據她

Since the beginning of mankind we have strived to innovate.

她是我的！

From the first tools that separated us from the animals

嘿

to the technology that allows us to defy God.

滾開！我先來的！

We always push forward.

所以這是A-1 Pictures和Studio Trigger之間的最新合作，你其實也看的出來

We built faster.

因為看起來他們已經採用了Trigger的風格並且打磨了所有的邊緣。

We built bigger.

我確實想談談當然非常“星際駕駛”式的機械設計

We built smarter.

以及這個番是如何的讓人覺得嚴重少了澤野弘之的配樂成分

Conquered our known world

我想我應該不是唯一一個邊看邊期待澤野弘之配樂cut-in的人

Explored the deepest oceans.

但是，現在......我有更重要的事要說......

Shot for the stars.

這是為了我們所有人......

Our limits were only those in our imaginations

自從人類開始以來，我們一直在努力創新

as we continued to push what we thought possible would never be possible.

從使我們與動物分離的第一種工具 (ft.primitive technology)

Science fiction became science fact.

到允許我們藐視上帝的技術

Nothing was impossible if we could dream it.

我們一直在向前推進

AND WE DID.

我們移動的更快。

Which is why today

我們蓋的更大。

I am proud to present the crowning achievement our species has met thus far.

我們打造的更智慧。

We at THOTgineering are proud to present:

征服了我們已知的世界

Butt Control!

探索了最深的海洋。

A revolutionary control system with compilers and...

向星星前進。

MUMBLED LAUGHTER

我們的限制只是我們想像中的限制

DYING LAUGHTER

因為我們繼續突破我們認為可能永遠不可能的事情。

Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the video!

科學幻想成為科學事實。

A lot of the source material for the shows I just talked about are available on BookWalker

如果我們能夠夢想，沒有什麼是不可能的

including Overlord as right now they are doing a giveaway for Overlord stuff.

而且我們成功了。

You can win this nendoroid set or some signed boards by purchasing any of the light novels or manga.

這就是為什麼今天

Use Coupon Code: 'Gigguk' for a discount

我很自豪地介紹本物種到目前為止所達到的最高成就。

which will mean you'll be spending less than $2 to enter.

我們THOT技術研發公司很榮幸地介紹：

This ends in 2 weeks on February 12th so enter while you can!

屁股控制系統！

Anyway that's it from me, I'm gonna be off to Japan once again next week so until then

革命性的控制系統，配有編譯器和...

I've been Gigguk and I will see you all next time!

*混亂的笑聲*