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  • Given how pejorative the term is, we're understandably keen to locate snobs somewhere far from us.

    考慮到這個詞的貶義程度,我們難免希望勢利小人離我們越遠越好。

  • They are the people in the newspaper, or the ones who live in the other part of town

    這些人可能出現在報紙上,或是住在其他城鎮,

  • or went to the school we didn't go to, but it's nice not to imagine them too near to home.

    或就讀跟我們不同的學校,但不去想他們離我們很近讓我們感到舒坦。

  • Yet that's to deny an obvious eventuality: snobs may lie closer to us.

    然而,這抹殺了一個可能性:勢利小人可能就在我們身邊。

  • Snobs form couples, they have children, and we might be among them.

    勢利者結為夫妻,生了孩子,而我們可能就是其中一個。

  • However painful the unvarnished thought, we might be the children of snobs.

    無論這種不加掩飾的想法多令人痛苦,但我們可能是勢利者的孩子。

  • It's a situation, it can be therapeutic to face up to and to try to make sense of.

    這種情況,透過直接面對和理解其定義可以達到治療功效。

  • What is a snob? It has little to do with an old-fashioned love of aristocracy.

    何謂勢利小人?它與過時的仰慕貴族之心沒什麼關係。

  • A snob is simply someone without an independent center of judgement, someone who can only value what the 'in' group in society happens to esteem at any point in time.

    勢利單純指缺乏獨立判斷能力的人,無論時間、地點,他們只重視社會「菁英」團體所重視的東西。

  • Snobs' opinions and tastes might be quite sane, or not.

    勢利者的意見和品味可能相當明智 (也可能相反)。

  • The key thing is that they aren't their own.

    重點是他們無法自己作主。

  • Snobs cannot tell what to make of anything until other prestigious voices have made up their minds for them.

    勢力者對所有的事情都沒有自己的想法,而是讓有聲望的人決定他們的想法。

  • There is a particular conundrum that sets in when snobs have a child:

    勢利者有了孩子後,會遇到一個特殊的難題:

  • How should they evaluate this new creature, in whom the world has no particular interest and who cannot wow or dazzle it?

    他們該如何評價這個新生命,這個世人不特別感興趣、無法令人驚艷的生物?

  • The thing merely sits in its cot, dribbles and screams a lot. It cannot do, it can only be.

    這個小東西只會坐在嬰兒床、流口水、不停喊叫。他沒有特殊技能,只能做自己。

  • The snobs' first reaction is often to say that they don't like babies as a generic category.

    勢利者的第一反應往往是籠統地說他們不喜歡小孩。

  • It sounds innocent enough, but the distaste is more fundamental.

    這聽起來很單純,但厭惡感才是根本原因。

  • Babies are unlikeable, first and foremost, not because they are messy and noisy, but because they are so unimpressive in worldly terms.

    嬰兒不討喜的主因並非因為他們又髒又吵,而是因為他們在世俗的標準之下非常地不起眼。

  • At heart, the snob suffers from low self-confidence,

    實際上,勢利者因自卑而苦,

  • which is why the incompetence of their own small child is so galling,

    這就是為什麼小孩的無能會讓他們感到極度焦躁,

  • threatening to evoke their own sense of fragility and vulnerability.

    害怕喚起自身的脆弱性。

  • The baby can't buy or sell a company, star in a movie, or even drink neatly from a cup,

    嬰兒不能買賣公司、飾演電影主角,或斯文地喝東西,

  • and it may on this basis, generate panic and fury in their snobbish carers. Fortunately, with a little time, school comes along,

    而這都讓勢利的照顧者感到恐慌和憤怒。還好,用不了多久,學校就能解救他們,

  • granting snobs the perfect tool with which to manage their feelings.

    學校成為勢利者控制情感的完美工具。

  • Snobs make it very clear to their offspring that doing well at school, very well indeed, is not merely pleasing or cautionary.

    勢利者會很清楚地告訴孩子,在學校表現好,應該說表現得非常地好,不只可取悅他人或僅為警世格言。

  • It's quite simply essential. Life more or less depends on it.

    它是必要的。生活多少取決於此。

  • There need to be cups, prizes, trophies and high scores in pretty much every subject. Doing well isn't enough, excelling is the goal.

    獎盃、獎品、戰利品,以及每科高分通過是必要的。做得好還不夠,出類拔萃才是最終目標。

  • If you don't perform, you cannot be loved.

    如果你做不到,你就不值得被愛。

  • Whether this is directly spelt out or merely artfully suggested, this is the ideology under which the offspring of snobs grow up.

    不管是直接說出來或是巧妙地建議,這都是一種意識形態,它是勢利者的子孫成長必經之路。

  • Unsurprisingly, most children of snobs do very well at school and at university,

    不出所料,大多數勢利者的孩子在學校都表現良好,

  • and later on, in the job market.

    隨後在工作上也是如此。

  • A feeling that one doesn't deserve to exist unless one meets the criteria of worldly success can do wonders for one's productivity.

    這種就像一個人若不能滿足世俗成功標準就不值得生存,這種想法對個人生產力有著奇蹟般的影響。

  • Offering conditional love has a habit of getting people to meet one's conditions.

    提供有條件的愛能讓人養成使命必達的習慣。

  • But that's also why the children of snobs are uncommonly likely to be on their way to a nervous breakdown,

    但這也是為什麼勢利者的孩子經常會面臨精神崩潰的情況,

  • which often sets in just when most of the worldly boxes have been ticked.

    通常會在他們完成大部分的人生任務時發生。

  • The longing that one should be recognized for being and not just doing,

    渴望自己因存在而有價值而不是因為成就,

  • even if one has done quite a lot, is an extremely stubborn part of human psychology,

    即使他們已經做了很多,這是人類心理學極其頑固的一部份,

  • which has a habit of periodically rearing its head and creating serious trouble, if it keeps being ignored across a lifetime.

    三不五時製造嚴重的問題,以因應長期被忽略的情況。

  • We may well be able to meet conditions, but we can't quite forget the desire to be loved without them,

    我們也許能夠滿足所有的要求,但我們仍然渴望無條件的愛、

  • simply for being ourselves, in all our original messiness and confusion.

    做自己,並接受我們天生的混亂與困惑。

  • Through a breakdown, by deliberately sabotaging what we have achieved in the world,

    透過崩潰、故意破壞我們在世上取得的成就,

  • we may be trying to go back and taste a simple, condition-less love that was denied to us in the early years.

    我們可能會試圖回到過去,體驗過去缺乏的純粹且無條件的愛。

  • We're trying, at huge cost, to re-experience a missing stage of development.

    我們試圖付出巨大的代價去重新體驗成長時缺失的部分。

  • We are tired of decades of making symbolic offerings under emotional duress to the ghosts of emotionally withholding parents.

    我們受夠了十幾年以來的情感勒索,在壓抑情感的父母造成的陰影之下,做出象徵性的奉獻。

  • It might be better to sit in hospital for a while and disappoint everyone.

    在醫院待一陣子並讓大家失望似乎是更好的選擇。

  • The more we understand the risks we face, as children of snobs, the less danger there will be of having to act out our complaints.

    身為勢利者的孩子,我們愈了解我們面臨的危險,就愈能減少發洩不滿的情況。

  • To be a child of snobs is a diagnosis like any other and deserves its own taxonomy, treatment and pathway to health.

    身為勢利者的小孩就像是一種症狀,需要被分類、接受治療並變得健康。

  • Part of this involves overcoming anger towards one's carers and realizing that snobs are not evil,

    其中包括克服對照顧者的憤怒並體悟勢利小人並不邪惡,

  • merely wounded and worried.

    只是受了創傷和擔驚受怕而已。

  • As their child, one will have to put extra effort into the delicate task of finding oneself valuable and worthy outside of achievement,

    身為他們的孩子則必須付出額外的努力才能發現即使不看成就,自己也具有價值,

  • not because of anything one has said or done,

    這跟他們的說了什麼或做了什麼無關,

  • but just because one exists, which should always, of course, have been enough.

    而單純是因為他們存在世上,這就已經足夠了。

  • The Joys and Sorrows of Parenting promises us a gentle way of staying calm around one of the most arduous yet deeply fulfilling jobs in the world. Click on the link on screen now to find out more.

    《育兒的喜怒哀樂》一書告訴我們,面對世界上最艱難但充滿成就感的工作時,如何保持冷靜。點擊螢幕上的連結以了解更多資訊。

Given how pejorative the term is, we're understandably keen to locate snobs somewhere far from us.

考慮到這個詞的貶義程度,我們難免希望勢利小人離我們越遠越好。

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勢利眼的孩子 (The Children of Snobs)

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    Evangeline 發佈於 2021 年 03 月 16 日
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