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  • Families are supposed to be the people you can lean on during tough times.

    在你有困難時,家人理當是你的依靠

  • At the end of the day, you know you can rely on them, and that they'll love you even through thick and thin.

    總之,你知道你能信任他們,他們愛你,並能與你共患難

  • But what about those of us who come from dysfunctional families?

    可是對於來自於不健全家庭的人而言,是這樣嗎?

  • And are the signs always clear and obvious, or can they be subtle and deceiving?

    不健全家庭有明顯的特徵嗎?還是這些特徵非常的微小又不起眼?

  • Here are 8 common characteristics of a dysfunctional family.

    以下是不健全家庭的八種特徵

  • 1. Addiction

    1. 成癮

  • Roughly 45% of the U.S. population has been exposed to some form of alcoholism or alcoholic behavior in their family.

    美國大約有 45% 的人口生活在有酗酒者或酒後暴力行為者的家庭中

  • That's as many as 76 million people.

    這大約是 7,600 百萬人

  • And approximately 26 million of those individuals are children.

    其中大約 2,600 百萬人是孩童

  • The addiction can be drugs, alcohol, or a combination of both.

    成癮包括毒品成癮、酒精成癮、或兩者皆成癮

  • Addicted parents can have negative financial, communicative, or connective impacts on the family,

    父母是成癮者,對家中的經濟、溝通、關係都會有不良影響,

  • affecting every family member's ability to form close, healthy relationships with others.

    其中也會影響每個家庭成員與他人建立親密和健康關係的能力

  • 2. Perfectionism

    2. 完美主義

  • This one can be difficult to spot, especially if a family looks picture-perfect on the outside.

    這一點很難被察覺,尤其是那種表面上看似完美的家庭

  • When perfectionism is highly regarded, and children have to bear their parents' unrealistic expectations,

    當完美主義被高舉,小孩就必須背負父母不切實際的期望

  • they may grow up with self-image and self-esteem issues, believing they'll never be good enough.

    在成長的過程中,可能造成自我形象和自尊上的問題,總覺得自己永遠都不夠好

  • They also have a hard time going to their parents when they need emotional support,

    當他們需要精神上的支持時,也不敢向父母表明

  • so they may learn to close themselves up and have trouble trusting people.

    於是他們學會將自己封閉起來,並不輕易信任他人

  • When parents prioritize performance and results,

    當父母優先關注的是孩子的表現和成績時,

  • their children never learn to accept and improve upon their mistakes.

    小孩會變得不容易接受挫折,並不懂得如何從錯誤中學習

  • 3. Abuse

    3. 虐待

  • Abuse is another common characteristic of a dysfunctional family.

    虐待是不健全家庭的常見特徵之一

  • It can be physical, emotional, and/or sexual.

    包括生理、心理,和(或)性的虐待

  • Abuse can occur between parents, parent and child, or siblings.

    此行為可發生在父母之間、父母與孩子之間,或兄弟姊妹之間

  • People use abuse to punish their families for (an) unwanted behavior, and stay in control when they believe they've been betrayed.

    虐待會被用來懲罰家庭中不聽話的成員,並用來作為控制家中背叛者的手段

  • If you think you're being abused,

    如果你認為你正在被虐待,

  • we encourage you to call your emergency hotline number.

    我們鼓勵你趕快撥打緊急求助熱線

  • 4. Unpredictability and fear

    4. 不可預測性和恐懼感

  • Unpredictability and fear go hand-in-hand.

    不可預測性和恐懼感兩者是密不可分的關係

  • It's a pattern often produced from abuse,

    這通常是受虐下的產物

  • but can also stem from a family member's financial or emotional instability.

    但也可能是因家庭成員經濟或精神上的不穩定而造成

  • Children who come from an unpredictable household suffer from low self-esteem issues,

    在不可測的環境下長大的小孩會造成自尊心低落

  • and either grow up to become extremely responsible crowd-pleasers or end up mirroring their parents' toxic behaviors.

    不是變得刻意去討好別人,就是會模仿父母的不良行為

  • Unpredictability and fear are results of overly rigid or religious upbringings,

    不可預測性和恐懼感,來自過份嚴厲的管教或是受到宗教信仰的約束

  • when a family doesn't allow family members to form their own beliefs, aspirations, and interests.

    家庭成員不被容許有各自的信仰、志向,及興趣

  • 5. Conditional love

    5. 有條件的愛

  • In dysfunctional families, conditional love is exercised by manipulative people.

    在不健全的家庭中有條件的愛是操之於掌權者的手中

  • When a parent or spouse only gives others love when they want something, they're either insecure or selfish.

    當父母或是配偶只在他們有所求時才給予愛,這表示他們缺乏安全感,要不就是很自私

  • For instance, a selfish mother might show love and support to their child just so that when the child reaches adulthood, they will take care of her.

    例如,一個自私的母親給孩子愛和支持,其目的只是為了孩子長大後會照顧她

  • When love is conditional, it can make family members feel used or cheated.

    當愛是有條件的時候,會讓家庭成員感到被利用或被欺騙

  • 6. Lack of boundaries

    6. 教導上缺乏清楚的界線

  • When a family doesn't establish healthy boundaries,

    當一個家庭沒有給予成員清楚而健全的界線

  • members will often feel like they have no privacy, or aren't being respected.

    家庭成員會常感到毫無隱私,或不被尊重

  • Parent who see their children as trophies or extensions of themselves are narcissistic,

    自戀的父母會將小孩當成炫耀品或是自己的延伸

  • causing children to feel confused about their own identities when they aren't properly nurtured or encouraged.

    這會導致孩子在尚未得到適當的培育或鼓勵時,產生自我認同的混淆

  • Boundaries are blurred when a parent tries to be controlling or dominant through anger.

    當家長試圖透過生氣來控制或掌權時,界線就變得模糊

  • And children feel like they have no choice but to act or behave in certain ways to please their parent.

    小孩會覺得別無選擇,只能乖乖照著父母想要的去做

  • As a result, they grow up feeling alienated or lost, and become overly self-critical.

    這導致他們長大後產生疏離感或是迷失了自我,並變得過度自責

  • 7. Lack of intimacy

    7. 缺乏親密關係

  • Dysfunctional families often mistake codependency as intimacy.

    不健全的家庭常誤以為互相依賴就是緊密關係的展現

  • In healthy families, parents teach their children how to be self-efficient.

    在健全的家庭中父母會教導小孩如何獨立自主

  • But if a parent is scared of letting go, they'll make claims about being able to live without their kids if they grow up and leave.

    但若家長害怕放手,他們會聲稱如果小孩長大後離開後,他們也能夠在沒有孩子的情況下生活

  • Likewise, a spouse who may show excessive clinginess to their partner.

    同樣地,配偶可能對伴侶過份依賴

  • It's important for family members to be with each other because they want to, not because they have to.

    對家庭成員而言,重要的是他們想要在一起,而不是被迫在一起。

  • Ultimately, love is a selfless act, and should never be pressured or forced.

    最後,愛是一種無私的行為,永遠不應感到有壓力或被逼迫

  • 8. Poor communication

    8. 溝通不良

  • Family conflicts typically stem from poor communication.

    家庭衝突通常源自於溝通不良

  • When people can't express themselves due to strained or nonexistent communication, they feel unheard, invisible, or misunderstood.

    當人們因緊張或無效的溝通而無法表達自己時,他們會覺得被忽視或被誤解

  • Overall, dysfunctional families don't practice healthy communication skills,

    總之,不健全家庭的人缺乏良好的溝通技巧

  • so members can be quick to react rather than waiting to listen and understand.

    因此,成員往往遇問題立即做出反應,而不是等到傾聽和理解後再回應

  • The resulting arguments cause daily stress and challenges that tear the family apart.

    這當中所造成的爭吵,會導致家中經常充滿著緊張和指責,這就是家庭破裂的原因

  • Does your family identify with any of these characteristics?

    您的家庭是否有任何一項這些特徵?

  • What methods have you tried to bring the family back together?

    你嘗試過什麼方法將家人團聚在一起?

  • Feel free to share your stories in the comments below.

    請在下面的意見欄中分享您的故事

  • If you enjoyed this video, don't forget to check out our other social media, and subscribe to our channel for more content.

    如果你喜歡這部影片請不要忘記去看看我們其他的社群媒體,並訂閱我們的頻道,以便獲得更多資訊

  • Also, if you'd like to support psych2go,

    此外,如果你想支持 psych2go

  • we have a new Patreon account,

    我們有一個新的 Patreon 帳戶

  • with rewards such as our psy pendants, t-shirts, magazines, and more.

    我們對贊助者提供 psy 吊墜,T恤,雜誌等獎勵

  • Your funding will help us continue producing quality videos, and reach more people in need of help.

    您的贊助可以幫助我們繼續製作高品質的影片,並幫助更多需要幫助的人

  • And as always, thanks for watching.

    一如以往,感謝收看

Families are supposed to be the people you can lean on during tough times.

在你有困難時,家人理當是你的依靠

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B1 中級 中文 美國腔 家庭 父母 小孩 特徵 成員 成癮

不健全家庭的8個常見特徵 (8 Common Characteristics of a Dysfunctional Family)

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    Evangeline 發佈於 2021 年 02 月 25 日
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