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  • We were on the beach and we were camping and we saw

    我們當時在沙灘露營然後我們看到

  • the most incredible sunset.

    超讚的日落

  • - Oh cool. - Yeah.

    -酷 -沒錯

  • - Oh.

    -噢

  • - Oh.

    -噢

  • - Ah, I gotta get back to the work.

    哦,我該回去工作了

  • - Me, yeah. Yeah.

    我也是,好

  • - I mean, at least you...

    我說呀,至少妳...

  • - You've seen too much.

    你知道的太多了。

  • I wish I didn't have to do this Raf.

    Raf,我也不希望事情到這個地步

  • I love you like a brother.

    我待你像親兄弟

  • - No, please.

    不要,拜託

  • - You know what you saw.

    你知道你看到了什麼

  • - I didn't see anything.

    我什麼都沒看到呀

  • I swear.

    我對天發誓

  • - You saw a sexy selfie

    你看到了我的超辣自拍照

  • that I sent to someone five nights ago.

    五天前我把它寄給了某個帥哥

  • And now I have to kill you.

    現在我必須殺了你

  • - No!

    不!

  • It's not that big a deal.

    這沒有這麼嚴重啦

  • - Of course it is Raf.

    這當然很嚴重,Raf

  • We used to be friends.

    我們曾經是朋友

  • We used to be equals.

    我們之前是這麼麻吉

  • - We're still equals.

    我們依然是麻吉呀

  • What are you talking about?

    妳到底在說什麼啊?

  • - No we're not.

    我們不麻了

  • Not after you saw my thirsty duck face in that photo.

    在你看到我的做作照之後

  • - I just saw a flash of skin.

    我只看到了一些皮毛

  • I didn't even know it was you until you said selfie.

    在妳說那是張自拍照之前我甚至不知道那是妳

  • - Of course it was me, Raf.

    那當然是我,Raf

  • Who else would have been dressed like a baby?

    誰還會穿得像小時候一樣?

  • - That was you dressed as a baby?

    那是妳小時候的穿著?

  • - What?

    蛤?

  • No.

  • Yeah, fine, okay.

    算了,隨便

  • I was sick of always having to be the mommy.

    我受夠了整天當黃臉婆的日子

  • - You are telling me way more than I could have known.

    妳也讓我知道得太多了吧

  • Look, we all send sexy selfies, all right?

    聽著,我們都會寄自拍照

  • Maybe we just forget it.

    不如我們就讓這件事過去吧

  • - Oh, yeah, you say that Raf.

    說得可輕鬆了,Raf

  • But in a month you're gonna be drunk with Grant or Raka

    但一個月之後你就會跟 Grant 或 Raka 喝ㄎㄧㄤ

  • blabbing your mouth about my titty tattoo.

    之後討論我胸部上的刺青

  • - What?

    蛤?

  • - Oh please.

    少裝了

  • Like my titty tattoo wasn't the first thing you noticed about this photo.

    你第一眼看到照片時一定在看我胸部上的刺青

  • - No, Allie, that's not the picture I saw.

    妳也幫幫忙,那根本不是我看到的照片啊

  • - What?

    什麼?

  • Fuck!

    靠!

  • Now I really have to kill you.

    現在我不得不殺了你

  • - What is going on in here?

    這裡在吵什麼呀?

  • - I kind of saw a tiny bit of a sexy selfie from Allie's phone.

    我只是看到了 Allie 在手機裡的超辣自拍照

  • - Oh my God seriously?

    你認真?

  • - Yeah.

    沒錯

  • - Oh wow, that is really really bad news for you.

    哇噢,這真是太不妙了

  • - I should just delete this photo.

    我應該早點刪掉這照片

  • - Just create a hidden album on your phone.

    其實妳只要創立一個隱藏相簿就好了

  • - You can do that?

    有這個功能?

  • - Yes, it is 2018.

    當然,現在都 2018 年了

  • - Oh no.

    挫賽

  • Hey what's up?

    哈囉,大家好

  • It's Allie from College Humor.

    我是 College Humor 的 Allie

  • Click here to subscribe.

    點擊這裡來訂閱我們

  • Click here to see more cool stuff.

    點擊這裡來看更多酷炫影片

  • And if you want to see a hot babe in the city,

    如果你想看 Babe (註: Babe 是電影《我不笨,我有話要說》中的小豬)

  • click here.

    點擊這裡

  • I made that.

    這是我做的

  • This is what I like.

    我就像電影中的那隻小豬

We were on the beach and we were camping and we saw

我們當時在沙灘露營然後我們看到

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當你的私密自拍照被同事看到 (You weren't supposed to see that photo)

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    kiki 發佈於 2018 年 05 月 16 日
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