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As patients,
譯者: Ming Lee 審譯者: Winston Szeto
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we usually remember the names of our doctors,
身為病人,
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but often we forget the names of our nurses.
通常大家只會記住醫生的名字,
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I remember one.
而常常忘記護士的名字。
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I had breast cancer a few years ago,
我就記住了一位。
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and somehow I managed to get through the surgeries
幾年前我罹患了乳癌,
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and the beginning of the treatment just fine.
我總算把手術熬過去,
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I could hide what was going on.
而且治療在開始時還算順利。
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Everybody didn't really have to know.
我其實可以隱瞞當中發生的事,
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I could walk my daughter to school,
沒有必要讓任何人知道。
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I could go out to dinner with my husband;
我可以走路陪女兒上學,
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I could fool people.
我可以陪丈夫去外面吃晚餐;
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But then my chemo was scheduled to begin
我可以欺騙大家。
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and that terrified me
可是我的化療在預定時間開始時,
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because I knew that I was going to lose every single hair on my body
真的讓我嚇到了,
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because of the kind of chemo that I was going to have.
因為我知道 我將會失去身上所有的毛髮,
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I wasn't going to be able to pretend anymore
這是由於我接受的化療種類造成的。
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as though everything was normal.
我沒辦法繼續裝作一切如常。
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I was scared.
我當時很害怕。
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I knew what it felt like to have everybody treating me with kid gloves,
我懂得那種被所有人 小心翼翼對待的感覺,
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and I just wanted to feel normal.
而我只希望跟平常一樣。
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I had a port installed in my chest.
當時我胸口放了一條人工血管。
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I went to my first day of chemotherapy,
第一天去做化療的時候,
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and I was an emotional wreck.
我的情緒崩潰了。
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My nurse, Joanne, walked in the door,
我的護士喬安妮走進房間,
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and every bone in my body was telling me to get up out of that chair
我骨子裡只想站起來離開座椅,
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and take for the hills.
然後逃到山上去。
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But Joanne looked at me and talked to me like we were old friends.
但是喬安妮看著我, 把我當成老朋友一樣跟我說話。
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And then she asked me,
然後她問我:
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"Where'd you get your highlights done?"
你是在哪裡給頭髮挑染?
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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And I was like, are you kidding me?
我的反應就像說;你在開玩笑嗎?
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You're going to talk to me about my hair when I'm on the verge of losing it?
在我就要喪失頭髮的時候, 你還要談我頭髮的事?
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I was kind of angry,
當時我有點不高興,
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and I said, "Really? Hair?"
我回答她說:「沒搞錯吧?頭髮?」
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And with a shrug of her shoulders she said,
她聳聳肩膀說:
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"It's gonna grow back."
「還是會再長回來的。」
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And in that moment she said the one thing I had overlooked,
在那一瞬間,她說出了 我之前忽略掉的事,
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and that was that at some point, my life would get back to normal.
那就是我的人生 在某一刻會恢復正常。
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She really believed that.
她真的相信這樣。
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And so I believed it, too.
於是我也跟著相信了。
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Now, worrying about losing your hair when you're fighting cancer
在與癌症奮戰時卻擔心失去頭髮, 最初看起來好像很愚蠢,
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may seem silly at first,
但其實這不只關乎擔心外表如何。
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but it's not just that you're worried about how you're going to look.
這關乎擔心每個人都會 很細心地照顧你。
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It's that you're worried that everybody's going to treat you so carefully.
喬安妮使我在六個月以來 首次感到正常。
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Joanne made me feel normal for the first time in six months.
我們聊她的男朋友,
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We talked about her boyfriends,
討論有關在紐約市尋找公寓的事,
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we talked about looking for apartments in New York City,
我們也聊到我對化療的反應,
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and we talked about my reaction to the chemotherapy --
甚麼話題都一併去聊。
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all kind of mixed in together.
我總是想知道,
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And I always wondered,
她怎麼本能地知道怎樣跟我交談?
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how did she so instinctively know just how to talk to me?
喬安妮.斯塔哈和我對她的景仰,
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Joanne Staha and my admiration for her
使我展開進入護士世界的探索之旅。
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marked the beginning of my journey into the world of nurses.
幾年後,我被要求進行一個計劃,
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A few years later, I was asked to do a project
主題是讚揚護士的工作。
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that would celebrate the work that nurses do.
我就先從喬安妮着手,
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I started with Joanne,
然後我遊走全國 跟 100 多位護士見面。
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and I met over 100 nurses across the country.
我利用五年的時間, 對護士進行面談,拍照和攝影,
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I spent five years interviewing, photographing and filming nurses
用來寫書並製作紀錄片。
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for a book and a documentary film.
我和我的團隊一起 安排橫跨美國的路程,
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With my team,
去一些正在面臨 龐大公共衞生問題的地方:
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we mapped a trip across America that would take us to places
人口老化、戰爭、貧窮、牢獄。
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dealing with some of the biggest public health issues facing our nation --
然後我們訪問最多病人集中、 處理這些問題的地方。
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aging, war, poverty, prisons.
然後我們請求醫院和相關單位 提名最能代表他們的護士。
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And then we went places
其中一位我見過面的護士 名叫布莉姬.坎培拉。
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where we would find the largest concentration of patients
布莉姬出生在喀麥隆,
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dealing with those issues.
是四個小孩中的老大。
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Then we asked hospitals and facilities to nominate nurses
她的父親在工作期間從四樓掉下來,
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who would best represent them.
背部傷勢嚴重。
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One of the first nurses I met was Bridget Kumbella.
他提到很多關於臥床、 沒有受到必要護理照顧的那種感覺,
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Bridget was born in Cameroon,
這驅使布莉姬投身護士專業。
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the oldest of four children.
現時她在布朗克斯區當護士,
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Her father was at work when he had fallen from the fourth floor
必須照顧很多不同種類的病人,
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and really hurt his back.
他們來自各行各業,
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And he talked a lot about what it was like to be flat on your back
也各有不同宗教信仰。
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and not get the kind of care that you need.
她全程投入在事業中 以了解文化差異對健康的影響。
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And that propelled Bridget to go into the profession of nursing.
她談到一個病人,
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Now, as a nurse in the Bronx,
她的一位美洲原住民病人,
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she has a really diverse group of patients that she cares for,
那位病人 想將大量羽毛帶入加護病房。
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from all walks of life,
他這樣做才找到精神上的慰藉。
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and from all different religions.
她談到曾為他請願,
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And she's devoted her career to understanding the impact
表示病人各有不同宗教信仰,
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of our cultural differences when it comes to our health.
使用各式各樣的物件來獲得慰藉;
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She spoke of a patient --
無論是天主教的玫瑰念珠, 或是具有象徵意義的羽毛。
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a Native American patient that she had --
都需要得到支持。
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that wanted to bring a bunch of feathers into the ICU.
這一位是傑森.秀特。
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That's how he found spiritual comfort.
傑森在阿巴拉契亞山一帶 擔任家庭保健護士,
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And she spoke of advocating for him
他年幼時父親經營加油站和修理廠。
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and said that patients come from all different religions
所以他在社區當護士前 是從事汽車修理。
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and use all different kinds of objects for comfort;
當他在讀大學的時候,
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whether it's a holy rosary or a symbolic feather,
當護士簡直一點男子氣概也沒有,
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it all needs to be supported.
所以他抗拒當護士好幾年。
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This is Jason Short.
他開了一段時間的卡車,
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Jason is a home health nurse in the Appalachian mountains,
但是他的人生路途 總是把他拉回到護士行業。
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and his dad had a gas station and a repair shop when he was growing up.
作為阿巴拉契亞山地區的 家庭保健護士,
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So he worked on cars in the community that he now serves as a nurse.
傑森所到之處 甚至救護車都無法去到。
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When he was in college,
在這張照片中, 他站的地方原本是一條馬路。
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it was just not macho at all to become a nurse,
因為山頂挖礦, 所以馬路被土石流埋沒了,
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so he avoided it for years.
傑森的病人患有肺塵病, 而現在傑森往病人房子的唯一方式,
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He drove trucks for a little while,
就是開着他的越野休旅車 逆著溪流而上。
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but his life path was always pulling him back to nursing.
那天我跟他一起, 車子的前擋泥板被掀走。
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As a nurse in the Appalachian mountains,
第二天早上他起來後,把車頂高,
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Jason goes places that an ambulance can't even get to.
把前擋泥板裝回去,
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In this photograph, he's standing in what used to be a road.
然後出發去看下一位病人。
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Top of the mountain mining flooded that road,
我見證了傑森充滿憐憫地 照顧這位男士,
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and now the only way for Jason to get to the patient
護士工作的無微不至 再次令我印象深刻。
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living in that house with black lung disease
跟布萊恩.馬克米里安見面時, 他簡直棒極了。
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is to drive his SUV against the current up that creek.
他剛完成戰地派駐工作回來,
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The day I was with him, we ripped the front fender off the car.
在聖地牙哥的生活還未安頓下來。
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The next morning he got up, put the car on the lift,
他談到在德國擔任護士的經驗,
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fixed the fender,
也談到照顧從戰場回來的士兵。
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and then headed out to meet his next patient.
他們在醫院睜開眼睛後 看到的第一個人往往就是他。
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I witnessed Jason caring for this gentleman
他們躺在病床上肢體不全時望着他,
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with such enormous compassion,
然後開口問的第一件事就是:
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and I was struck again by how intimate the work of nursing really is.
「我甚麼時候可以回去? 我的弟兄還留在那裡。」
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When I met Brian McMillion, he was raw.
然後布萊恩會這麼說:
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He had just come back from a deployment
「弟兄,你哪裡都不用去。 你已經付出得夠了。」
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and he hadn't really settled back in to life in San Diego yet.
布萊恩身兼護士和親歷戰事的士兵。
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He talked about his experience of being a nurse in Germany
因此他的身分獨特,這讓他可以 在照料退伍軍人時明白並治癒他們。
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and taking care of the soldiers coming right off the battlefield.
這一位是史蒂芬修女,
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Very often, he would be the first person they would see
她在威斯康辛州經營一家 名為「洛雷托別墅」的護理之家。
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when they opened their eyes in the hospital.
整個生老病死 都可在她的屋簷下看到。
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And they would look at him as they were lying there,
她年少時一直希望他們住在農場裡,
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missing limbs,
於是一有收養當地農場動物的機會,
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and the first thing they would say is,
她就熱切地把牠們帶進安養院。
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"When can I go back? I left my brothers out there."
春天時那些動物就會生出崽子。
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And Brian would have to say,
史蒂芬修女就會利用那些 小鴨、小山羊和小羔羊,
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"You're not going anywhere.
為洛雷托別墅的住客進行動物療法;
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You've already given enough, brother."
那些住客有時連自己名字也記不起,
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Brian is both a nurse and a soldier who's seen combat.
但他們抱著小山羊時確實充滿喜悅。
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So that puts him in a unique position
那一天我和史蒂芬修女一起時,
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to be able to relate to and help heal the veterans in his care.
我要把她帶離別墅 去拍攝她的故事的其中一段。
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This is Sister Stephen,
在我們離開之前,
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and she runs a nursing home in Wisconsin called Villa Loretto.
她走進一間垂死病人的房間。
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And the entire circle of life can be found under her roof.
她靠過去並且說:
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She grew up wishing they lived on a farm,
「我今天必須離開一下,
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so given the opportunity to adopt local farm animals,
但是假如耶穌召喚你,
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she enthusiastically brings them in.
你就去吧。
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And in the springtime, those animals have babies.
你直接回到耶穌那裡去吧。」
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And Sister Stephen uses those baby ducks, goats and lambs
我站在那邊思考,
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as animal therapy for the residents at Villa Loretto
這是我有生以來第一次目睹,
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who sometimes can't remember their own name,
原來可以透過放下, 來表達你對某人全心全意的愛。
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but they do rejoice in the holding of a baby lamb.
我們不一定要緊抓著不放。
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The day I was with Sister Stephen,
我在洛雷托別墅所見的往生的人
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I needed to take her away from Villa Loretto
比我在任何時間和地方 看到的還要多。
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to film part of her story.
談到保健,我們活在複雜的世代。
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And before we left,
人們重視壽命, 卻容易忽視對生活品質的需求。
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she went into the room of a dying patient.
當救命科技推陳出新時,
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And she leaned over and she said,
我們就要作出非常複雜的決定。
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"I have to go away for the day,
這些科技往往能拯救生命,
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but if Jesus calls you,
但卻同時延長痛楚和垂死的過程。
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you go.
我們應該如何處理這些難題呢?
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You go straight home to Jesus."
我們必須盡其所能的去尋求協助。
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I was standing there and thinking
護士和我們的關係相當獨特,
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it was the first time in my life
原因在於他們守護在床邊的時間。
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I witnessed that you could show someone you love them completely
在這段時間,
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by letting go.
一種情感上的微妙關係油然而生。
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We don't have to hold on so tightly.
在去年夏季八月九日,
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I saw more life rolled up at Villa Loretto
我父親死於心臟病發。
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than I have ever seen at any other time at any other place in my life.
我母親深受折磨,
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We live in a complicated time when it comes to our health care.
她無法想像沒有我父親存在的日子。
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It's easy to lose sight of the need for quality of life,
四天後,她跌倒了,
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not just quantity of life.
臀部髖骨破裂,
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As new life-saving technologies are created,
需要動手術,
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we're going to have really complicated decisions to make.
發現只能靠自己為生存搏鬥。
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These technologies often save lives,
我發現自己再次站在 接受護士照料的一方,
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but they can also prolong pain and the dying process.
而這次是為著我的母親。
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How in the world are we supposed to navigate these waters?
我和弟妹在及後三天 留在加護病房守候她。
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We're going to need all the help we can get.
正當我們嘗試遵從母親的意願 去做出正確的決定時,
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Nurses have a really unique relationship with us
我們才發覺 原來一直倚賴護士的指引。
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because of the time spent at bedside.
他們再一次沒讓我們失望。
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During that time,
他們在母親臨終前四天照料她時 表現出超卓的洞察力。
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a kind of emotional intimacy develops.
他們使她舒適自在,為她減輕痛苦。
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This past summer, on August 9,
他們懂得如何鼓勵我和妹妹 去替母親換上一件漂亮的睡衣;
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my father died of a heart attack.
雖然這對她來說不再重要了,
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My mother was devastated,
但對我們來說肯定意義重大。
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and she couldn't imagine her world without him in it.
他們知道在母親呼出最後一口氣前 及時過來喚醒我們。
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Four days later she fell,
他們也知道預留多少時間, 讓我留在房間裡陪著剛逝去的母親。
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she broke her hip,
我無從了解他們如何懂得這些竅門,
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she needed surgery
但我肯定知道 自己永遠感激她們再次給我指引。
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and she found herself fighting for her own life.
非常感謝大家。
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Once again I found myself
(掌聲)
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on the receiving end of the care of nurses --
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this time for my mom.
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My brother and my sister and I stayed by her side
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for the next three days in the ICU.
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And as we tried to make the right decisions
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and follow my mother's wishes,
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we found that we were depending upon the guidance of nurses.
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And once again,
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they didn't let us down.
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They had an amazing insight in terms of how to care for my mom
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in the last four days of her life.
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They brought her comfort and relief from pain.
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They knew to encourage my sister and I to put a pretty nightgown on my mom,
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long after it mattered to her,
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but it sure meant a lot to us.
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And they knew to come and wake me up just in time for my mom's last breath.
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And then they knew how long to leave me in the room
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with my mother after she died.
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I have no idea how they know these things,
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but I do know that I am eternally grateful
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that they've guided me once again.
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Thank you so very much.
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(Applause)