Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

已審核 字幕已審核
  • Do you ever do this?

    你有這樣過嗎?

  • Be hella excited that all episodes of your show 'Youth and Consequences' come out on YouTube Red on March 7th?

    很興奮你主演的電視節目「Youth and Consequences」3 月 7 日要在 YouTube Red 上播出了。

  • Well yes, obviously, thank you.

    當然,謝謝。

  • But until March 7th when you can binge all episodes of Youth and Consequences on YouTube Red, I'm talking about when a friend discusses their problems with you.

    3 月 7 日後你們就可以在 YouTube Red 上收看「Youth and Consequences」了,但在這之前我要先談論一下,當朋友找你聊困難時該怎麼做

  • Do you immediately say, "Oh, you know what you should do?"

    你會不會馬上對朋友說「噢你知道你該這樣做」?

  • I've noticed recently that I have a pattern.

    我最近發現我有個習慣。

  • I offer unsolicited advice all the time when my friends have problems.

    當朋友有困難時,我每次都會自主給意見。

  • And I know the intentions are good, because when we see someone we care about suffering, our impulse is to, like, help and to fix them and to give them anything that they need.

    我知道這背後的動機是好的,因為當我們看見在乎的人正在受苦,我們的直接反應就是幫助他們解決煩惱,並提供任何他們需要的東西。

  • But the more that I do this, the more withdrawn my friends become.

    但我越是這麼做,我的朋友們就變得越退縮。

  • Their eyes glaze over, they sort of nod automatically, there's this wall put up between us.

    他們眼神變呆滯、一直點頭,我們之前有了一道牆。

  • So I decided to try not giving any advice unless it was specifically asked of me.

    所以我決定,除非對方主動問我,不然我不要提供意見。

  • And it made me realize just how much I wanna do that all the time, even in really little ways.

    這讓我了解自己每次都多麽愛提供意見,即使在小地方也是。

  • "Have you tried yoga?"

    「你試過瑜伽嗎?」

  • "Ooh, I just saw a great TED talk on that, I'll send it to you."

    「噢,我有看過一部 TED 影片在討論這個,我傳給你。」

  • "I had the same exact problem, let me tell you what I did."

    「我也發生過一樣的問題,讓我告訴你我怎麼做的。」

  • "You know, you should really try yoga."

    「你知道嗎?你真的應該嘗試瑜伽。」

  • But I resisted the temptation to solve all of my friends' problems and instead would try to really explore their feelings by asking them questions like:

    我止住這樣的念頭,不急著幫朋友解決困難,而是試圖了解他們的感受,問他們一些問題像是:

  • "How does that make you feel?"

    「這讓你感覺如何?」

  • "Wow that sounds really hard. How are you handling it?"

    「聽起來很難受,你還好嗎?」

  • "I totally understand why you're upset. What do you think you're gonna do?"

    「我完全明白你為什麼難過,你打算怎麼做?」

  • And something happened.

    然後事情改變了。

  • My conversations became so much more engaging and deep and fulfilling.

    我的談話變得更深入、有意義。

  • Instead of feeling like I had to fix everything, I just let myself be a sounding board for whatever someone was feeling.

    不是覺得我要解決一切問題,而是讓自己成為別人感受的共振板 (垃圾桶)。

  • And really tried to explore that.

    然後嘗試去探索體會。

  • And my friendships changed dramatically.

    我的友誼劇烈改變。

  • They felt more loving, more personal, and more open.

    朋友們感覺更有愛、更親近、對我更開放。

  • Now, I have this one friend who's a conversational narcissist.

    我有個朋友,他在聊天上很自戀。

  • It's like, no matter what you say, he will bring the conversation back to himself.

    無論你說什麼,他總是會把話題帶回自己身上。

  • And I used to harbour a lot of resentment for it, but it's you know, it's one of those annoying quirks and flaws about a person that you love that you just sort of put up with because you love them.

    我曾經對此感到很厭惡,但是這就像你所愛的人的怪癖跟缺點,你都會忍讓,因為你愛他們。

  • So I thought implementing this with him was going to be particularly interesting.

    所以我覺得把這招用在他身上會特別有趣。

  • And I found that we would dive so deeply into his problems, and I would let him express everything he was feeling about, every single thing that he had to say.

    而且我發現我們可以深入地討論他的問題,我會讓他盡情表達所有感受,讓他想說什麼就說。

  • And (I) would just keep the spotlight on him to the point that he sort of like ran out of stuff to say about himself, and then would turn the conversation to me.

    讓聚光燈集中在他身上,直到他該講的都講完,此時對話內容就會轉移到我身上了。

  • And be fully present with me, and let me talk out my problems because he's been sorta spent.

    然後他會非常專心聽我說話,讓我談論我的問題,因為他已經沒話要說了。

  • Now, maybe you're not like me and you're not a person who offers unsolicited advice all the time.

    說不定你跟我不一樣,你也不會總是自主提供意見。

  • But let me advise you to try this out with your next conversation.

    但我想建議你們下次聊天時試試這招。

  • Maybe in the next couple of conversations.

    接下來的幾個對話就可以試試。

  • See how it goes.

    看看結果如何。

  • Be fully present, be really engaged with the person and not thinking about how you're going to respond.

    專心當下、致力於對談中,不要去想怎麼回應。

  • I learned many a fascinating things, and a lot of my relationships became deeper and more amazing because of it.

    因為這個方法,我學到很多美好的事,我的許多感情變得更深入更棒。

  • I'm Anna Akana, stay right here for a sponsored message.

    我是 Anna Akana,別走,看看贊助。

  • Thank you to Audible for sponsoring today's episode.

    謝謝 Audible 贊助此部影片。

  • Audiobooks are great for helping you be a better you.

    有聲書能幫助你成為更好的人。

  • Whether you want to feel healthier, get motivated, or learn something new.

    無論你想變得更健康、更有動力、或是學習新知識。

  • I read roughly 70 books a year, and at least 10 of these are audiobooks that I listen to while I'm driving, doing laundry or stretching.

    我一年讀大約 70 本書,其中至少 10 本是有聲書,我都在開車、洗衣服、或是拉筋的時候聽。

  • I'm currently listening to Tiffany Haddish's The Last Black Unicorn and I am so freakin' proud of her.

    我最近在聽 Tiffany Haddish 的「最後的黑獨角獸」,我替她感到非常驕傲。

  • We did a comedy sketch show together back in the day.

    我們那天一同做了喜劇節目。

  • And it's been amazing to hear about her journey and how far she's come.

    很榮幸聽到她的故事及經歷。

  • With Audible, you get a credit every month, good for any audiobook regardless of price, and unused credits roll over to the next month.

    在 Audible,你每個月可以得到點數,任何價錢的有聲書都適用,沒用完的點數可以累積到下個月。

  • And if by chance you don't like your audiobook, you can exchange it with no questions asked.

    萬一你不喜歡購買的有聲書,你可以無條件換貨。

  • You can go to audible.com/anna or text "anna" to 500-500 to start your free 30-day trial.

    你可以去 audible.com/anna 或者輸入 anna 至 500-500 開始享有 30 天免費試用。

  • That's audible.com/anna or text "Anna" to 500-500.

    去 audible.com/anna 或者傳訊息 "Anna" 至 500-500。

Do you ever do this?

你有這樣過嗎?

字幕與單字
已審核 字幕已審核

影片操作 你可以在這邊進行「影片」的調整,以及「字幕」的顯示

A2 初級 中文 美國腔 有聲書 朋友 意見 點數 瑜伽 深入

別急著給建議,讓你成為更好的朋友 (One thing that makes you a better friend)

  • 101197 2825
    Carol Chen 發佈於 2018 年 05 月 25 日
影片單字