字幕列表 影片播放 列印所有字幕 列印翻譯字幕 列印英文字幕 My father taught me many great gifts. 我的爸爸教了我許多重要的哲理 How to build the wall... 要如何築起一道牆？ TRUMP: We're going to build the wall! 川普：我們將要築起一道牆！ How to get a small loan with a million dollars. 要如何得到一筆百萬美金的小額貸款 TRUMP: My father gave me a small loan of a million dollars, I came into Manhattan..- 川普：我爹給了我一筆百萬美金的小額貸款，我就來了曼哈頓... TRUMP: A small loan of a million dollars... (repeat) 川普：一筆百萬美金的小額貸款（重複） How to make fun of disabled people. 如何開身障人士的玩笑 TRUMP: Ah, I don't remember...! I don't remember! 川普：啊，我不記得了...！我都忘了！ Wait a minute... not that one. 等一等，不是這個 But most of all...! 但最重要的... How to be a god damn boss. 該怎麼成為一個天殺的強者 TRUMP: I'm really rich... 川普：我是好野人，這我很確定... [Clapping and yelling] 00:00:39,180 --> 00:00:43,180 ［電話鈴聲］TMD 現在是誰 Call 我？該死，滾啦！ [Phone rings] Now who the fuck is calling me?! Goddamn it, fuck off! 等等，什麼？ Wait, what's that? 你說什麼？我的老爸... What are you saying? My dad... ...唐納·川普 ...Donald Trump... 現在正在醫院，而我是唯一能救活他的外科醫生？ ...Is in the hospital, and I'm the only surgeon that can save him? 老天，這是我的使命 Oh god. This is my calling. 我們開始吧 Let's go. 唐納... Donald... 唐納，你聽的到嗎？我在哭啊... Donald, can you hear me? I'm crying... 但現在沒有時間流淚了 But now is no time for tears. 不用擔心 Don't you worry. 我會好好照顧你的，就讓我... I will take great care of you, let me just... ...給我一點時間來好好觸摸你的臉龐 ...Let me just touch your face a little bit. 喔～讓我指尖輕彈你秀髮，唐納。啊啊～ Ohh, ah, let me run my fingers through your hair, Donald. Ahh. 喔～這感覺好自然，感覺好真 Oh, that feels so natural, it feels so real. 而且還不是假髮 And not synthetic. 感覺就像隻老鷹停在他臉上，而且還在上面築巢了 It's like an eagle landed on his face and made a nest there. 別擔心，唐納，別擔心。我會讓 YouTube 再次偉大起來 Don't worry, Donald, don't worry. I will make Youtube great again. 現在，我們來看看情況如何 Now, let's have a look at the situation. 老天！看起來好噁心 Oh god! That is disgusting. 好的！我是個專業的外科醫生，我要拿... Well! I'm a professional surgeon. I'm gonna have to grab... ...飛鏢。別擔心，唐納。我之前沒做過這種事 ...The ninja star. Don't worry, Donald. I've done this never before. 如果你死了...我可以要一份小額貸款嗎？ If you die... can I have another small loan? 好的，我剛剛打開了你的胸腔肋骨 Okay, I'm just opening up your rib-cage. 無論什麼事都在所不惜，來... Nothing I wouldn't do to myself. Here - 唐納...來喝點酒 Donald... Have a drink. 一切都會沒事的，唐納。只喝一點，喝一點點 It's gonna be okay, Donald. Just have a little sip. Have a little sip sip. 還有這裡 - 還有這裡也倒一點 And a little bit of si - And a lottle bit of sip for that. 別擔心，這有益的 - 對你很好 Don't worry it's health - It's good for you. 這是唐納·川普的優質產品 It's Donald Trump quality product. 喔糟糕！什麼東西可能硬到能打開他的胸腔肋骨？ Oops! What item could possibly be strong enough to open up his rib-cage? 當然！就是川普大樓 Of course! The Trump tower. 不！那這把金斧頭如何 No! What about this golden tomahawk. 幹...我們快無計可施了 Shit... we're running out of options. 我的天，我忘了這遊戲有多虐了 Oh God, I forgot how difficult this game was. 川普，要是你發生了什麼事，我會永遠無法原諒自己的！ If anything happens to you Trump, I will never forgive myself! 我是個專業外科醫師 I am an expert surgeon. 就是這樣 There it is! 肋骨被切開了 The rib-cage is open! 幹得好啊！Kjellberg 醫生 Excellent job, Doctor Kjellberg. 非常感謝你！ Thank you very much! 我拿到你的肺了，川普。聞聞看！ I got your lung, Trump. Smell it! 那是自由的味道！ That's the smell of freedom! 它也能變頂不錯的帽子 It also goes for a great hat. 還有枕座 And a pillow-frame. 我們沒多少時間，川普。美國需要你！美國人就指望你了！ We haven't got much time, Trump. America needs you! America's counting on you! 看，你是隻獨角獸 Look you're a unicorn. 啊，糟糕，我不是故意要把這拉出來的 Ah shit, I didn't mean to pull that out. 拉機！ Garbage! 這是啥鬼，唐納？原來你真的有顆心？ What the fuck is this, Donald? You actually have a heart? 我以為你的心早就爛光了，什麼鬼 I thought you were dead inside, what the fuck. 這就跟我看的韓劇一樣，有個人做了心臟移植後，他就變成了一個好人 This is like that Korean drama I watch, where he gets a heart transplant, and he becomes a good person. 真的非常好看，而且我非常推薦 It's actually a really good watch, and I would really recommend watching it. 叫做《為純情著迷》（Beating Again），就像他的心臟一樣 It's called Beating Again. Like his heart did. 這是我在劇中最喜歡的一幕，看就對了 This is my favourite scene from the show. Just watch. ＂你想被車撞死嗎？！＂ [Speaking Korean] 無論怎樣，我們不能浪費太多時間，得快止血。 Either way, there's not much time to waste. We gotta stop the bleeding. Edgar 醫生... - 喔老天，我蜇了我自己！ Surgeon Edgar...- Oh god, I stung myself! 這是三小！ What the fuck is this! 唐納...喔～唐納... Donald... Oh, Donald... 我蜇了我自己，但放心；我知道我在幹嘛 I stung myself, but don't worry; I know what I'm doing. 耶，你喜歡那樣嗎，唐納？你這他媽的變態 Yeah, you like that, Donald? You fucking perv. 夭壽，他血流很快... Edgar 護士，做點什麼啊！ Oh God, he's bleeding fast... Nurse Edgar, do something! 他正在失血，天殺的！ He's bleeding out, God damn it! 喔我的老天，現在他血流更多了。老天，他血流得超級快 Oh God, he's bleeding more now. Oh God, he's bleeding super much. 牛排！拿牛排！該死，我的手太小了！ Steak! Grab the steak! God damn it, my hands are too tiny! 你會活的，川普...該死，他死了 You gonna live, Trump... God damn it, he died. 這些聲響是什麼鬼東西製造的？ What the fuck is making that sound? 惡魔們都住在川普的體內！ Demons are living inside of Donald Trump! 這也應該是眾所皆知了 That should be news to no one. 看，你可以把這個當作髮飾而不是 - 說真的，這樣看起來更帥 Look, you can wear this as a toupet instead of - honestly, it would look way better. 好，我要故意蜇我自己的手 Okay, I'm going to sting my hand on purpose. 手變小了，現在我能扁你了，老爹 It's tiny now. Now I can fist you, Daddy. 我們做到了！老天，但他血流得很快！ We got it! Oh my God, he's bleeding fast, though! 要把這些清出來。說真的，我的手真他媽的太小了 Gotta get it all out. My hand is fucking too tiny, honestly. 我們會失去他的...！ We're losing him...! 看，我的手太小啦... Look, my hand is too tiny to...- 伸不到那裡！ I can't reach it! Edgar 護士，他媽的快一點！ Nurse Edgar, hurry the fuck up! 這是什麼鬼東西？黃金心臟？ What the fuck is this? Golden heart? 很明顯的，是黃金心臟 Golden heart, obviously. 你可是我的前途。我拿不起來，我沒辦法... You're my golden boy. I can't grab it, I can't... 給我手術刀！ Hand me the scalpel! 成功了！成功了！ That worked! That worked! 美國！美國！ USA! USA! 手術已經成功完成 The surgery has been successfully completed. 啊～太好了！ Ah! Yes! 喔！ Oh! 這樣子要花上五十萬美金 That'll be half a million dollars. 他會好起來的... He's gonna live... 好的，兄弟們！ All right, bros! 希望你們會喜歡這集影片 - 我不敢相信這是真的！ I hope you enjoyed this episode - I can't believe this is real! 我希望他們不會因為這樣子把唐納·川普放進遊戲裡而被告，這還真夠屌的 I hope they're not gonna get sued for using Donald Trump likeness in this game, that's fucking awesome. 你會給川普一顆金心還是石心？ Would you give Donald Trump a gold heart or a stone heart? 留下評論讓我知道，非常感謝各位的觀賞 Let me know in the comments. Thank you so much for watching. 我可能是第一個在 YouTube 玩這遊戲的人，所以... I am probably the first one to have ever played this game on Youtube, so... 你知道其他玩這遊戲的人...他們都是在學我的 You know that everyone else that's playing this game..- they're copying me. 這面罩？喔別擔心，一切很快就會揭曉啦 This mask? Oh, don't worry about it. All will be revealed... soon. 我們下一部影片再見。如同以往，繼續屌吧兄弟 I'll see you bros in the next video. As always, stay awesome bros.