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  • I'm a writer and a journalist,

    譯者: Lai Sze Cheung 審譯者: Dennis Lin

  • and I'm also an insanely curious person,

    我是個作家,也是個新聞從業員

  • so in 22 years as a journalist,

    我也是一個求知慾極強的人

  • I've learned how to do a lot of new things.

    所以在跑新聞的22年裡

  • And three years ago, one of the things I learned how to do

    我學習了很多新奇事物

  • was to become invisible.

    三年前,我學懂的其中一件事

  • I became one of the working homeless.

    就是當個隱世人

  • I quit my job as a newspaper editor

    我變成了在職無家者

  • after my father died in February of that same year,

    我辭去了報紙編輯的工作

  • and decided to travel.

    就在我父親同年二月去世之後

  • His death hit me pretty hard.

    我決定踏上旅途

  • And there were a lot of things that I wanted to feel and deal with while I was doing that.

    父親的去世對我打擊很大

  • I've camped my whole life. And I decided

    當時這樣決定,因我有很多情感和事情要處理

  • that living in a van for a year to do this

    旅程中我天天露營

  • would be like one long camping trip.

    我也決定在旅行車中生活一年

  • So I packed my cat, my Rottweiler

    就像一趟漫長的露營旅行

  • and my camping gear into a 1975 Chevy van,

    然後我帶著貓,我的洛威拿犬

  • and drove off into the sunset,

    還有我的露營裝備 都帶上1975年雪佛蘭旅行車

  • having fully failed to realize three critical things.

    直開車去看日落

  • One: that society equates

    完全沒有想到三件很嚴重的事

  • living in a permanent structure, even a shack,

    一,社會把「固定住房」

  • with having value as a person.

    即使只是很狹小的房間

  • Two: I failed to realize how quickly

    與「人的價值」掛勾

  • the negative perceptions of other people

    二,我沒有意識到,很快地,

  • can impact our reality, if we let it.

    其他人的負面批評

  • Three: I failed to realize

    對我們的實況影響有多大,假如我們容許

  • that homelessness is an attitude,

    三,我沒有意識到

  • not a lifestyle.

    無家可歸是一種生活態度

  • At first, living in the van was great.

    不是一種生活方式

  • I showered in campgrounds. I ate out regularly.

    剛開始,住在旅行車真的不賴

  • And I had time to relax and to grieve.

    我在營地洗澡,我按時在外用餐

  • But then the anger and the depression about my father's death set in.

    我還有時間休息和哀悼悲痛

  • My freelance job ended. And I had to get a full-time job

    但當父親去世產生的悲憤和沮喪開始加劇

  • to pay the bills.

    自由撰稿的工作結束了。我必須找全職

  • What had been a really mild spring

    來支付各種帳單

  • turned into a miserably hot summer.

    本來溫和的春天

  • And it became impossible to park anywhere --

    亦漸漸變成酷熱難擋的夏天

  • (Laughs)

    越來越難找到泊車的地方

  • -- without being very obvious

    (一笑)

  • that I had a cat and a dog with me, and it was really hot.

    更別提

  • The cat came and went through an open window in the van.

    我那一貓一狗,實在夠熱

  • The doggy went into doggy day care.

    我的貓從車窗來回地跑

  • And I sweated.

    我的狗送到日間護理中心

  • Whenever I could, I used

    而我則大汗淋漓

  • employee showers in office buildings and truck stops.

    當情況許可

  • Or I washed up in public rest rooms.

    我會使用車站職員淋浴間

  • Nighttime temperatures in the van rarely dropped below 80 degrees Fahrenheit,

    或在公眾衛生間洗身

  • making it difficult or impossible to sleep.

    夜間的車廂中 很少在華氏80度以下

  • Food rotted in the heat.

    讓人幾乎無法入睡

  • Ice in my ice chest melted within hours,

    食物在高溫下腐壞

  • and it was pretty miserable.

    冰箱裡的冰粒,幾小時就融化了

  • I couldn't afford to find an apartment,

    那真是難捱的歲月

  • or couldn't afford an apartment that would allow me

    我沒錢住進准許養貓狗的公寓

  • to have the Rottweiler and the cat.

    更沒法找到

  • And I refused to give them up,

    准我養貓狗的公寓

  • so I stayed in the van.

    我又不想拋棄牠們

  • And when the heat made me too sick

    所以我繼續住在旅行車裡

  • to walk the 50 feet to the public restroom

    當夜間的高溫讓我連走50米

  • outside my van at night,

    到公眾衛生間都懶得走時

  • I used a bucket and a trash bag as a toilet.

    而那就在我的旅行車外

  • When winter weather set in, the temperatures dropped

    我只能用桶和垃圾袋當廁所

  • below freezing. And they stayed there.

    當冬天來臨時,溫度驟降

  • And I faced a whole new set of challenges.

    至零度以下,持續寒冷

  • I parked a different place every night

    我又得面對另一番新挑戰

  • so I would avoid being noticed and hassled by the police.

    每晚我都將車泊在不同地方

  • I didn't always succeed.

    避免警察發現,惹來爭執

  • But I felt out of control of my life.

    當然我不是每次都成功避過

  • And I don't know when or how it happened,

    但我已無力掌握自己的生活了

  • but the speed at which I went

    我甚至不明白甚麼時候,為何會這樣

  • from being a talented writer and journalist

    但那過程之快

  • to being a homeless woman, living in a van,

    從我作為一個有才華的作者,一個新聞從業員

  • took my breath away.

    變成一個住在車裡的無家者

  • I hadn't changed. My I.Q. hadn't dropped.

    這簡直是快得難以置信

  • My talent, my integrity, my values,

    我絲毫未變,我智商沒降

  • everything about me remained the same.

    我的才能、尊嚴、價值觀

  • But I had changed somehow.

    一切關於我的,都沒有改變

  • I spiraled deeper and deeper into a depression.

    但某程度上我已經不同了

  • And eventually someone referred me to a homeless health clinic.

    我在沮喪的旋渦裡越鑽越深

  • And I went. I hadn't bathed in three days.

    最後有人介紹我到為無家者開設的健康院

  • I was as smelly and as depressed as anyone in line.

    我去了。我三天沒洗澡了

  • I just wasn't drunk or high.

    我跟排隊中人一樣沮喪和難聞

  • And when several of the homeless men realized that,

    我只是沒有喝醉或神志不清

  • including a former university professor,

    當某些無家者發現

  • they said, "You aren't homeless. Why are you really here?"

    包括一個前任大學教授,他們說︰

  • Other homeless people didn't see me as homeless,

    「你本非無家,你為何落得如此下場?」

  • but I did.

    其他無家者不把我當成無家者

  • Then the professor listened to my story and he said,

    但我認為我已無家可歸

  • "You have a job. You have hope.

    那教授聽完我的故事後,他說

  • The real homeless don't have hope."

    「你有工作,你有希望」

  • A reaction to the medication the clinic gave me for my depression

    「真正的無家者連希望都沒有」

  • left me suicidal. And I remember thinking,

    診所給我的抗抑鬱藥有副作用

  • "If I killed myself, no one would notice."

    讓我有自殺傾向,我記得當時在想

  • A friend told me, shortly after that,

    「即使我自殺,沒有人在意」

  • that she had heard that Tim Russert,

    不久之後,有朋友告訴我

  • a nationally renowned journalist,

    她聽說提姆•羅斯

  • had been talking about me on national T.V.

    一個知名記者

  • An essay I'd written about my father,

    在全國廣播的電視節目上談到了我

  • the year before he died, was in Tim's new book.

    一篇我寫有關我父親的文章

  • And he was doing the talk show circuit. And he was talking about my writing.

    在他去世前一年寫的‧文章被收錄到提姆的新書

  • And when I realized that Tim Russert, former moderator of "Meet the Press,"

    當時他在巡迴演講,提到我的文章

  • was talking about my writing,

    當我發現提姆羅斯,《與傳媒會見》前主持™

  • while I was living in a van in a Wal-Mart parking lot,

    竟然在談論我的文章

  • I started laughing.

    而我卻在一輛泊在超市外的旅行車裡過活

  • You should too.

    我開始失笑

  • (Laughter)

    你也該笑

  • I started laughing

    (笑聲)

  • because it got to the point where,

    我開始笑了

  • was I a writer, or was I a homeless woman?

    因為這正是問題的所在

  • So I went in the bookstore. And I found Tim's book.

    我究竟是個作者,還是個無家者?

  • And I stood there. And I reread my essay.

    於是我走進書店。 我找到提姆的新書

  • And I cried.

    我站在那,重新讀一次自己的文章

  • Because I was a writer.

    我哭了

  • I was a writer.

    因為我是一個作者

  • Shortly after that I moved back to Tennessee.

    我是一個作者

  • I alternated between living in a van and couch surfing with friends.

    不久之後我搬回了田納西

  • And I started writing again.

    有時睡旅行車,有時睡朋友家的沙發

  • By the summer of the following year I was a working journalist.

    我又重新開始寫作了

  • I was winning awards. I was living in my own apartment.

    接下來的夏天,我又回到新聞從業員的崗位

  • I was no longer homeless.

    我是個得獎記者。 我住進自己的公寓

  • And I was no longer invisible.

    我不再無家可歸

  • Thousands of people work full and part-time jobs,

    我不再被忽視

  • and live in their cars.

    無數人擁有全職或兼職工作

  • But society continues to stigmatize and criminalize

    但他們住在車裡

  • living in your vehicle or on the streets.

    社會持續歧視他們

  • So the homeless, the working homeless, primarily remain invisible.

    把住在車上或露宿者視為罪犯

  • But if you ever meet one,

    無家者及在職無家者,大部份還是繼續隱閉

  • engage them, encourage them, and offer them hope.

    但如果你遇到他們

  • The human spirit can overcome anything if it has hope.

    僱用他們、鼓勵他們、給他們希望

  • And I'm not here to be the poster girl for the homeless.

    人類的意志可以克服一切困難

  • I'm not here to encourage you to give money to the next panhandler you meet.

    我不是想在此為無家者宣傳

  • But I am here to tell you that, based on my experience,

    我不是想鼓勵你們施捨乞丐

  • people are not where they live,

    我來此告訴你,根據我的經驗

  • where they sleep,

    人的價值,不是由他們的住處

  • or what their life situation is at any given time.

    不是由他們睡哪裡

  • Three years ago I was living in a van

    不是由他們某時期的生活狀態來決定

  • in a Wal-Mart parking lot,

    三年前,我住在旅行車上

  • and today I'm speaking at TED.

    停在沃瑪超市的停車場內

  • Hope always, always finds a way. Thank you.

    而今天我卻在TED演講

  • (Applause)

    希望!永遠永遠會找到出路‧謝謝!

I'm a writer and a journalist,

譯者: Lai Sze Cheung 審譯者: Dennis Lin

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B1 中級 中文 美國腔 TED 去世 文章 提姆 住在 作者

【TED】貝基-布蘭頓。我無家可歸的那一年(Becky Blanton:The year I was homeless)。 (【TED】Becky Blanton: The year I was homeless (Becky Blanton: The year I was homeless))

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    Zenn 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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