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We've all been there before.
我們都曾遇過這種情況
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You're in conversation. Things are humming along nicely. And then out of nowhere, the awkward silence rears its head.
你在跟人交談。進展良好。突然之間,尷尬的沈默襲來
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At that moment, your mind goes completely blank, you don't know what to say,
此刻,你的腦袋一片空白,你不知道要說什麼
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and you can sense the other person's eyes wandering as they look for someone else to talk to.
你感覺到對方眼神飄移想找別人說話
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That scenario sucks, so here are five tips to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation again.
這種場面實在尷尬,所以我要教你們 5 個技巧確保你們在談話中不會再沒話聊
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First, when you find yourself in that situation where your mind has gone blank, play Reminds Me of.
首先,當你發現自己陷入這種局面,你的腦袋完全空白,試試「這讓我想到」
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That just means that you look to the environment around you and say, "You know, that reminds me of..." and then fill in the blank.
意思就是你看一下周圍然後說:「嘿這讓我想到...」然後把你想講的接續下去
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It's great for opening new conversational threads, and it can also work as a follow-up when someone finishes telling a story,
這對開啟新話題非常有幫助,這也可以用在別人說完故事接話
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which is how many groups of friends interact all the time.
這就是朋友群聚常見的互動方式
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That's because people are drawn to others who they feel are similar to themselves, and related stories can build that bridge.
這是因為人們容易被他們覺得跟自己相似的人吸引,相同經驗故事可以搭起你和別人的橋樑
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Just be sure not to repeatedly make your story superior to theirs, or else you can feel like one-upping.
切記不要一直把自己的事情講得比別人好,不然你就會給人優越感
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Second, when you ask questions, keep them open-ended as often as possible.
第二,當你問問題時,盡可能問開放性問題
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So rather than saying, "Oh, you're from Toronto. Do you like it there?"
所以相較於說:「噢,你來自多倫多。你喜歡那裡嗎?」
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you might say, "How do you like Toronto?" "I'm curious to hear more about it."
你可以說:「你覺得多倫多怎麼樣?」「我好奇,想要知道多一點。」
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The former question invites a one-word response and then awkward silence.
前者會造成簡短回話然後尷尬沈默
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The latter gets the other person talking about the things that they like, which is going to open up more conversational threads.
後者使對方聊起他們喜歡的東西,而這將會開啟更多話題
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Also, just remember the rule that every three-year-old knows about conversation, which is that simply asking why is a great way to get people to open up more.
而且要記得一個每個三歲小孩都知道的聊天道理:就是問「為什麼?」這更可以讓別人打開心胸
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So when someone mentions that they are consultant for instance, you might ask:
所以當別人提到他們在當顧問,你可以說:
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"Why did you decide to get into consulting?"
「你為什麼進入顧問業?」
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To be clear, unlike three-year-olds, you don't have to say the word 'why' over and over and over.
我要講清楚,我們不像三歲小孩,你不需要一直重複問為什麼為什麼為什麼。
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But drilling down into their motivations will often get you a deeper connection in conversation.
而是要深入了解他們的動機使你們交談更深入
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Third, for the worst case scenario, when conversation just flat-out stalls, use revival questions.
第三,最糟的場面,當你們徹徹底底沒話聊時,用這些會重燃話題的問句
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These are non sequiturs that bring conversation back from the dead.
這些跟原本聊的內容無關,但卻可以重啟交談
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Here's three of my favorites.
以下三個是我最喜歡的
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If you're in a new group and conversation dies, after initial pleasantries, a great revival question is: "How do you guys all know one another?"
如果你剛加入聊天然後沒話聊時,在一開始客套話結束後,你可以問:「你們都怎麼認識的啊?」
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There's almost always some kind of story that conversation can build from.
這些故事總有些能促進新話題
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If you're only speaking to one person, you can say instead, "So what's your story?"
如果你只跟一個人聊天,你可以改成說:「你有什麼事情可以分享嗎?」
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The great thing about this question is that it is so open-ended that the other person will probably guide you towards the topics that they want to talk about.
這個問句的好處是,因為是開放性問題,所以對方會接著講到他們想要談論的主題
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Usually responding with something like, "You mean what do I do for work or what do I like to do for fun?"
通常他們會像這樣回覆:「你想問工作方面還是休閒娛樂?」
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Their tone of voice and enthusiasm will usually tell you the best angle of conversation to continue with.
他們的語調和熱情通常會告訴你從哪裡開啟話題最好
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Lastly, for people you already know well, ask them about their exciting plans for the future.
最後,對於你已經熟識的人們,問他們對未來感到興奮的計畫
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This one is nice because it is endlessly renewable, which makes it great for connecting with people in the office or wherever you work.
這個很好用,因為一段時間就可以問一次,適合用在辦公室或工作場合與人聊天
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Fourth on the list is to make a complimentary cold read.
第四個是用冷讀術讚美別人
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So if someone is particularly smiley, you might say, "You look like the type who would be great with kids."
所以當某人常常面帶微笑,你可以說:「你很像那種容易跟小孩相處的人。」
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Or if they're super strong, you might say, "You look like you're pretty into fitness."
或是他們很強壯,你可以說:「你看起來很喜歡健身。」
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If you get it right, they're probably going to open up and tell you more about it.
如果你猜對了,他們就會打開心胸跟你聊更多
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But even if you're wrong, you can talk about what it is that gave you that impression in the first place.
但要是你猜錯,你可以跟他說是什麼讓你有這種想法
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Either way, you've got new conversational material to work with.
兩者都會使你有新的聊天話題
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And the fifth and final tip is to flip the script so that you're not the one worried about running out of things to say.
第五個也是最後一個技巧,那就是反轉位置,所以你就不會是那個擔心沒話聊的那方
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Instead, allow the other person to move the conversation forward by getting more comfortable with silence.
相反的,讓另一方去想話題,首先你必須先懂得靜默片刻
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Seriously, three seconds might feel like a long time, but if you can just take a deep breath while maintaining easy eye contact,
老實說,三秒感覺很長,但你如果能深呼吸一口氣,保持自然眼神接觸
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more often than not, the other person will make a comment or ask you a question.
通常對方就會回應或提出問題
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Or if you really want to encourage them to continue, repeat back the last few words that they said.
如果你真的想要他們繼續說下去,重複他們講話的最後幾個字
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This mirroring invites them to elaborate and can often get people to open up in very powerful ways.
重複說話會讓對方願意解釋更多,有效地讓對方打開心胸
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So there you have it.
所以你已經知道了
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Five quick and easy tactics that you can use today to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation.
5 個你可以使用的快速簡單策略,確保你永遠不會在交談中沒話聊
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If you'd like these tips and want more advanced tips,
如果你喜歡這些技巧而且想學更多
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you might want to check out an online course that I created called Charisma University.
可以看看我在 Charisma University 開設的線上課程
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It has a full hour of my best strategies to become an expert conversationalist,
上面有我全部的最佳技巧,讓你成為溝通達人
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not to mention separate sections on creating amazing first impressions,
更不用說其他不同單元,教導你如何製造良好第一印象、
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telling captivating stories,
有魅力地講故事、
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developing rock-solid confidence,
培養堅若磐石的自信心、
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and becoming an inspiring leader.
以及成為激勵人心的領導者
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You can learn more and join today if you're interested by clicking the button now.
如果有興趣,你可以按下按鈕,加入並學到更多
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If you like this video and more like it on YouTube,
如果你喜歡這部影片也喜歡它出現在 YouTube 上
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make sure to subscribe to the channel
記得訂閱頻道
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and click that notification bell.
把通知打開
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I hope that you enjoyed this video and I will see you in the next one.
希望你們喜歡這部影片,下次見!