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Frank, where the hell is everybody?
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This was supposed to be our big opening night.
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I'll tell you what the problem is.
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Every successful restaurant has a hook or a gimmick.
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That's what we're lacking.
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(GASPING) No, we're not.
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Frank, you're the hook!
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That's right.
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We just need to make you the face of the restaurant.
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Well, it may be the five loaves of garlic bread
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I ate this morning talking, but I think that's a swell idea.
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(SINGING) You love the meal, the fancy feel,
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the showbiz stories while you eat your veal.
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It's family dining with a mobster
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feel at Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.
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Junior.
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(SINGING) The wine is red with lots of bread, and portions,
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uh, bigger than the horse's head.
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(SINGING) You'll burp up sausages tonight in bed.
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At Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.
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(SINGING) Here's a toast to our host.
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The food's not great, but drink enough and you won't know.
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The guests will soon, and Frank will croon--
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--a bee-bop, doobie-dop Italian tune.
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You'll dine like royalty at Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.
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We got big plans to please our fans.
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Our cocktail waitress has enormous cans.
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A men's room servant who will dry your hands
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at Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.
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Our pizza pies could win a prize.
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The jukebox catalog is double size.
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It plays both Capital and yes, Reprise.
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That's re-preeze.
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At Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.
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Gorgeous views.
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And top-shelf booze.
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Yes, we serve Jews.
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Um, that was never an issue.
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So raise your glass.
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We'll have a gas.
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A seating's limited so move your ass
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and plant it firmly here at Frank Sinatra's Restaurant.
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Frank's Restaurant.
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Frank's Rest- aur- ant.
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[applause]