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  • I would say try wandering up and down the junk food section of your grocery store,

    我會建議在超市的垃圾食物區多晃晃

  • and you will find your soulmate.

    你就會找到你的靈魂伴侶了

  • #guaranteed.

    #安娜保證

  • Anna Kendrick gives us advice we actually need.

    安娜·坎卓克的超中肯人生建議

  • What should you say to an ex

    你該跟你的前任講什麼,

  • that keeps texting you and stalking you on social media?

    如果他一直密你又在社群網路上一直跟蹤你?

  • You should text your ex:

    你應該密你的前任說:

  • "I set another fire last night, it's starting to make me feel alive.

    「我昨天又縱火了,那開始讓我感到活著。」

  • Oh, sorry, wrong number."

    「啊不好意思,傳錯人了。」

  • I want to travel the world,

    我想要旅遊世界各地,

  • but also I feel like l should start saving my money

    但我又覺得我應該要開始存錢

  • because I'm in my late twenties - what should I do?!

    因為我快邁入三十歲了 - 我該怎麼做?!

  • You should save your money, not buy anything,

    你應該把錢存下來,不買任何東西

  • even necessities like toilet paper.

    就連衛生紙等生活必需品也不買

  • It's a lie, just use leaves from your yard.

    那只是個騙局,用你院子裡的葉子就好了

  • Sit on a pile of money,

    坐在一堆錢上面

  • and die on it and know that you were better.

    然後在那上面死去,心裡有著滿滿的優越感

  • How do you not act awkward around guys you meet for the first time?

    如何在第一次見面的男生面前表現得不尷尬?

  • You should imaging that you are...

    你該想像自己是...

  • You have the spirit of Oprah

    你有歐普拉的靈魂

  • and the face of James Marsden.

    和詹姆斯·馬斯登的容貌

  • Male or female, doesn't matter.

    不管男生或女生都可以用這招

  • You know what I'm saying?

    你懂我的意思嗎?

  • And just project that in your daily life.

    把這個想像投射到你的日常生活

  • What do you say to someone who says they aren't hungry,

    如果有人說他們不餓

  • but then as soon as your plate of fries comes they start eating half of them?

    但是你的薯條上桌時又把半盤都吃掉,該對他們說什麼?

  • Oh, I've lost friends that way before.

    喔,我曾因為這樣跟朋友絕交

  • I don't allow that.

    我不允許

  • I don't stand for that kind of behavior.

    我不能忍受這種行為

  • What's the best way to start a convo

    在外面遇到你有興趣的人,想要開始聊天

  • with someone that you see out and are into?

    最好的方法是什麼?

  • My opening line is usually looking over at them,

    我的起手式通常是往他們那邊看過去,

  • and giving that awkward half smile,

    對他們做出那種尷尬的半微笑,

  • and hoping that they'll come talk to me.

    然後希望他們能過來跟我講話

  • Because the half smile is such that it could be,

    因為半微笑有可能在傳達

  • "Hi, you seem friendly, and I'm bored."

    「嗨,你看起來很友善,我正好又覺得無聊」

  • but also I keep it cool enough that it could be the person right behind them.

    但同時又夠冷靜,所以也可能是在對他們背後的那個人微笑

  • I like to keep my feelings protected.

    我喜歡隱藏我的情緒

  • What should you do when you accidentally send a screenshot of a text exchange

    如果把對話的截圖不小心傳給了

  • to the person you were texting?

    正在聊天的人該怎麼辦?

  • You're in a pickle, my friend!

    你真的倒大楣了,我的朋友!

  • Just say, just start a rumor that there is a glitches on iPhones,

    就開始謠傳最近 iPhone 開始出現小故障

  • or whatever phone you have.

    或是你用的那種手機

  • Create a couple of websites,

    架設幾個網站,

  • log in as a number of people on various forums.

    在各大論壇以數個不同的身份登入

  • saying "Does anybody else have this problem?

    詢問「有其他人也有這個問題嗎?」

  • We should write a letter to Steve Jobs ghost." And that's the only solution I can think of.

    「我們應該寫信給賈伯斯的鬼魂。」這是我唯一能想到的解決方法

  • How do I get my family to stop asking me

    我該如何讓家人停止問我

  • when I'm going to get married and have children?

    什麼時候要結婚生小孩?

  • I think you should say that the reason you're not having a baby

    我覺得你可以說你不想生小孩的原因

  • is that the water wars are coming

    是搶奪水資源的戰爭要來了

  • because the world is gonna end.

    因為世界要毀滅了

  • And that baby will just be food

    而那個嬰兒只會成為

  • for somebody's stronger, well equipped baby.

    某個更強大,更武裝良好的嬰兒吃的食物

  • And that should shut them up.

    而這理由應該可以讓他們閉上嘴了

I would say try wandering up and down the junk food section of your grocery store,

我會建議在超市的垃圾食物區多晃晃

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歌喉讚的貝卡給你最忠肯的人生建議! (Anna Kendrick Gives Hilariously Perfect Life Advice)

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    Jerry 發佈於 2017 年 11 月 29 日
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