字幕列表 影片播放
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Elsa's gotta put a ring on it.
艾莎在幫我戴戒指
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Didn't you know we went that way, right? -Two. -She put two rings on it.
你肯定不知道我們關係進展到這樣了吼? - 2 枚戒指 -她幫我戴了 2 枚上去
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Hey, what's up there?
嘿,大家過得怎麼樣呀?
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It's Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love.
我是瑪莉.芙萊奧 (美國跨多行業專家),你正在收看的是 Marie TV,這裡能讓你學會創造你所熱愛的事業與生活
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And today is Q&A Tuesday and this question comes from Fred who writes:
今天是星期二的你問我答時間,今天的問題來自佛萊德,上面寫道:
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"Hi, Marie.
「嗨,瑪莉
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I've run a business for about 40 years and my question is this, how can I give more attention
我經營事業已經 40 多年了,我的問題是,我該如何更加重視
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to my success and less attention to the setbacks?
自己的成功,而別一直在意過去的失敗?
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I noticed that when a deal falls through, it gets a lot more emotional bandwidth and
我有注意到生意談不成的時候,它會比我生意談成時,帶給我較多的情緒反應
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feeling bad than the deals I make. I would like it the other way around.
以及不好的感受,要是情況能反轉過來就好了
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Thanks for your help, Fred."
感謝妳的協助,佛萊德」
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Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred.
佛萊德啊佛萊德
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First of all, you guys, Fred's in business 40 years. Can we? Come on.
首先,大家聽好了,佛萊德的事業經營了 40 多年耶,我們都沒還做到呢!來點掌聲吧
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And second of all, Fred, this is a great freaking question. Come on.
再來第二點,佛萊德,你這問題真的是問得太好了,再來點掌聲吧
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And I'll tell you why, because I have wanted to do an episode about this for a very long time.
我來告訴你們原因是什麼,其實我老早以前就一直很想做一集這樣的影片
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Now, I am sure everyone watching right now can relate, because no matter who you are,
我相信現在在看這部影片的觀眾,多少都覺得心有戚戚焉,因為不論你是誰
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no matter how experienced you are, or no matter how successful or accomplished you are, all
不論過去你經歷多少風雨,不論現在你多有成就
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of us tend to focus on that one negative comment – the one person that rejects us. Right?
只要是人都比較容易去在意負面的批評,以及反對抨擊我們的人,沒錯吧?
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The tiny little sliver of customers who are just committed to being miserable.
就是會有這麼少數人喜歡鑽牛角尖在不好的事情上
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And the reason why is because of a well-documented phenomenon called negativity bias, which is
這種情況其實是源自於一個大量研究證明後的現象,叫作「消極偏見」
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the tendency for us humans to pay more attention and give more weight to negative experiences
也就是我們人類相較於中立或正面的感覺而言
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over neutral or positive ones.
會比較容易在意負面的感受
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Now, I gotta say, this is not just some fancy psychological concept, people.
這裡我要說清楚,各位,這可不是什麼天馬行空的心理學概念
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This is real. This is how our brains are wired.
這是真實的,我們的大腦就是這樣構思的
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They are wired to take in the bad and ignore the good.
大腦本身易於接收壞的資訊,而忽略好的一面
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Now, I think we should talk about why.
這時候我們就要來談談為什麼
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So here's the deal.
事情是這樣子的
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This ancient brain circuitry helped our ancestors stay alive and for millions of years now,
遠古時期開始,大腦迴路幫助我們的祖先,得以在百萬年前的險惡世界存活
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mother nature has been training us to overestimate threats and underestimate opportunities and resources.
大自然不斷訓練我們面對威脅要提高警覺,別太高估所遇的機運和資源
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So back in the day humans would hear a noise in a bush and instantly think, "Tiger!"
所以在過去,人類如果從樹叢中聽到一些聲響,第一個反應就是「老虎!」
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versus, "Hm, I wonder what that is.
而不是「恩,不知道是誰來了
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Is that Erik coming over for a cappuccino?"
難道是艾瑞克想跟我來喝一杯卡布奇諾嗎?」
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Now, while back in the day that hair-trigger readiness to think "tiger" and go negative
所以在遠古時代,捕風捉影當下,隨即讓我們聯想到「老虎」,這樣消極的思考模式
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was great, because it kept us alive, nowadays it just keeps us feeling awful.
很棒沒錯,因為那有益於我們存活下去,但到了現代,消極偏見卻讓人不好受
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And it's not just about feeling bad in the moment.
而這不只是在當下會感到難受而已
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Negative experiences move more quickly into our long-term memory and, get this, negativity
負面感受還會迅速滲透到我們的長期記憶區,但請記得
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is terrible for your health.
負面感受往往對健康有害
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It can weaken your immune system, it can increase anxiety, and reduce your ambition.
它會弱化你的免疫系統、增加焦慮,以及減少對事情的憧憬與抱負
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You know, my favorite expert on this topic is a guy named Dr. Rick Hansen
你知道嗎,在這個主題中我十分欣賞的一位專家瑞克.韓森博士
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who wrote Hardwiring Happiness, which I recommend.
他針對這項主題寫了一本書叫「大腦快樂工程」,推薦大家去讀 (譯註:Dr. Rick Hansen是美國神經心理學家)
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He puts it best.
書中他比喻得很有趣
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He says:
他說:
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"The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones."
「大腦對於負面感受就像魔鬼氈一樣黏 T T,但對正面感受卻像鐵氟龍一樣不當一回事」(譯註:teflon 俗稱鐵氟龍,抗酸抗鹼,幾乎不溶於所有溶劑)
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So the missed sale, that unsubscribe, the refund, the nasty comment… that's what
所以像是談不攏的生意、被取消訂閱、被退款、噁心沒水準的留言,都是我們容易
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tends to stick.
在意的事物
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But the good news here, there are abso-smurf-ly things that you can do to neutralize negativity
不過幸好,當你又被消極偏見影響的時候,絕對有辦法能讓你將它 (譯註:"abso-smurf-ly" 為 "absolutely+smurf" 之複合字,smurf 源自藍色小精靈,劇中將任何字詞冠上 "smurf",做強調使用)
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bias when it gets triggered and tip the scales towards the positive.
變得比較中性,而且還能把它變成正向的事情呢
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In fact, here are three to get you started.
事實上,以下三招能讓幫助你做到
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Step number one is name it to tame it.
第一招,「重述而平撫」
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Now, we have to start with self-awareness, because you cannot change what you don't notice.
首先,我們必須從自我意識覺察開始,因為你沒辦法改變你沒注意的事
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So step number one is to simply acknowledge what's going on when it happens.
所以第一步,就是事情發生當下,要認清事實
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So the next time you get a zinger, do not let yourself start thinking that you suck
要是下次你又遇到令人意外的事情,別再覺得自己糟透了
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or that everything is going to hell in a handbasket, because it's not.
或是覺得一切都完了、沒救了,因為事實絕不是那樣
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You just need to say to yourself or to someone else,
你只需要告訴你自己或他人:
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"Ah, this is negativity bias.
「啊,這不過只是消極偏見嘛
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This is my brain's ancient circuitry doing its job to help keep me alive."
這只是我的大腦迴路在執行它的工作,來幫助我生存下去罷了」
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Now, here's the thing, naming it doesn't instantly make the pain go away, but it does
重點就在於,雖然這樣的方式不會讓傷痛立即消失,但至少能
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help to lessen the sting.
減少心裡受到的傷害
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Step number two is get deliberately distracted.
第二招,「故意分散注意力」
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So, if at all possible, distract yourself with something else intentionally.
所以如果可以的話,盡量刻意分散自己的注意力
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Now, this is all about learning how to put your attention where it serves you best, and
這樣的目的,是要讓你學會如何將注意力放在好的地方
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that just takes practice.
多練習幾次就會熟練
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Because what you allow your mind to focus on shapes your brain.
因為心中特別專注的事情,會形塑你的大腦思維
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So rather than amplify the pain, really shift your attention to something more positive and productive.
所以與其放大你的痛苦,倒不如將你的注意力放在其他更正面、更有生產價值的事情上面
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So, for example, you might want to whip out a piece of paper and start making the most
比方說,你可能會想拿出一張紙,開始羅列一張有史以來
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epic gratitude list ever.
最長的感恩清單
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Or you might want to throw yourself into a really good exercise class or go watch a fantastic
或者你想讓自己好好運動一番、看一場精采的電影
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movie or go help someone do something.
又或是協助他人完成事情
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Really, anything that can give your mind something else to focus on.
真的,任何能轉移你注意力的事物都可以
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Step number three is use the 20-second rule.
第三招,「運用 20 秒法則」
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Okay guys, so this is not a longer version of the three-second rule.
聽好囉,各位,這不是「3 秒法則」的延長版
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Hey, how long has that lasagna been on the floor?
嘿,這盤千層麵被灑在地上多久啦? (譯註:3秒法則指食物掉在地上 3 秒內可以撿起來吃)
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Only about 18 seconds, buddy. You go to town.
才過18秒而已,兄弟,盡情享用吧
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No. What I'm talking about here is internalizing any positive event by savoring the shizzle
不對,我這裡指的是透過至少 20 秒的時間,仔細回顧正面的事情發生的箇中滋味
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out of it for at least 20 seconds. You might be asking yourself, why? Here's the reason.
並且將積極正面內化到心裡頭,你可能會問自己,為什麼要這樣?原因如下
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Because the best way to combat negativity bias is to embed as many positive experiences
對抗消極偏見最好的方式,就是盡量多將積極正面的經驗感受
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and memories in our brains as possible.
與回憶嵌入我們的大腦
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So, for example, let's say your friend sends you this email thanking you for a great weekend together.
舉例來說,當你朋友寄來一封電子郵件,感謝你們一起度過了一個美好的周末
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Don't just say, "Wow, that's sweet," and archive it. Don't do that.
不要只是回說「哇,還真不錯」,然後就封存起來了,千萬別那樣
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Spend at least 20 seconds soaking in the memories from that weekend.
花個至少 20 秒的時間,將自己沉浸於那個周末的回憶
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The goal here is to really cement that positivity in your mind.
這麼做的目的是要真正地將正面思考牢附於你的內心
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And if you ever forget about your brain's ancient circuitry, I want you to whip out
要是你忘了自古以來,大腦迴路的作用是什麼,我希望你趕快想起
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this tweetable.
這則推特轉發訊息:
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"When your brain gives more weight to the negative, remember you have the power to tip the scale."
「當你的大腦比較側重負面的一端時,別忘了你有能力扭轉情勢」
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That was my A to your Q, Fred.
以上我針對你的疑問提出的解答,佛萊德
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I really do hope it helps. And now I want to hear from you.
我真的希望這能幫助你,現在我想聽聽看你們的意見
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So tell me, has negativity bias ever caught you off guard?
說說看,消極偏見是否曾讓你措手不及?
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It's certainly caught me off guard. What helps you tame your lizard brain?
我自己倒是陷入了不少次,是什麼方法幫助你馴服你的蜥蜴腦? (註:lizard brain指大腦中感知危險、產生直覺的部分)
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And a little challenge here, I want us to go beyond meditation and beyond EFT.
來一點小小挑戰,希望我們的境界可以超越冥想、超越心理治療
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Those are really both valid and important practices, but I would love to see some more variety too.
雖然這兩個都是非常有用、重要的撫慰方式,但我還想聽聽其他的妙招
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Now, as always, the best conversations happen after the episode over at the magical land
一如往常,每一集結束後,在MarieForieo.com這個奇幻國度裡
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of MarieForleo.com, so go there and leave a comment now.
都會出現精彩的討論,所以現在就請你到網站上,留下你的想法吧
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Once you're there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF Insider.
進入網站之後,別忘了訂閱我們的電子報,並且成為 MF 的一員
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You're going to get instant access to an amazing audio training I created called How
接著你就會馬上得到一組由我編製的超讚訓練音檔
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To Get Anything You Want, plus you'll get some exclusive content, some special giveaways, and
叫「吸引力法則」,此外,你還能獲取額外的內容、特別的禮物
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personal updates from me that, frankly, I don't share anywhere else.
以及我個人的見解交流,這可是只有這裡才有的喔!
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Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because the world needs that special
繼續闖蕩你的事業,並繼續朝著你的夢想邁進,因為這世界正需要
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gift that only you have.
你那獨一無二的天賦
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Thank you so much for watching and I'll catch you next time on Marie TV.
非常感謝你的收看,我們下回再於 Marie TV 上相見囉
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Have you been thinking about starting your own business?
你是否曾想過自己創業呢?
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Is fear, confusion, or overwhelm slowing you down?
害怕、困惑、不知所措的情緒嚴重拖累你的創業步伐嗎?
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We can fast track your growth and save you years of expensive trial and error.
我們可以快速追蹤您的營運成長狀況,並且為您省下數年的昂貴試驗及錯誤
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Get the guidance you need to make your dream business come to life, guaranteed.
馬上獲取需要的指導方針,讓你的事業從此平步青雲,品質掛保證!
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Learn more at StartTheRightBusiness.com.
現在就到 StartTheRightBusiness.com 獲取更多資訊
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In the meantime, coffee. You did a great job. We did a great job.
與此同時,來喝個咖啡吧!你做得很棒,我們都做得很棒
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We're a good team.
我們合作地天衣無縫
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Lasagna nipples, take one.
千層麵畫面拍攝,第一鏡
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We're doing it. We're doing it.
在做了,在做了
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Had to make it weird, ha ha.
這樣真的好奇怪喔,哈哈