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Ian and Larissa asked me to read a couple of quotes
李恩和賴麗莎要我讀兩段話,
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from a man named John Piper
是一個叫約翰派伯的人說的;
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who is a well-known Bible teacher
他是一個著名的解經家﹔
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and he talks about marriage
他談到婚姻,
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and how this mystery refers to Christ and the church
及婚姻與基督和教會之間的奧秘時
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and he says this
他說,
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"Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically
結婚,主要的考慮不是經濟上的強強聯合,
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It is mainly about displaying the covenant-keeping love
而是要體現盟約式的愛
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between Christ and his Church"
就是基督與教會之間的盟約的愛。
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he says, "Knowing Christ is more important
他說, 認識基督是首要,
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than making a living
比養家糊口更重要。
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treasuring Christ is more important
愛基督是首要,
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than bearing children
比生兒育女更重要。
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either way, it is short
不管怎樣, 婚姻是短暫的,
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it may have many bright days
可能有很多明朗的晴天,
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or it may be covered with clouds
也可能有很多的陰暗的雨天,
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but if we set our face to make of marriage
但如果我們努力經營婚姻,
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mainly what God designed it to be
按神的設計去經營婚姻,
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no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our way
那麼任何的悲傷和災難都不能讓婚姻觸礁。
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every one of them will be not an obstacle to success
任何的困難都不會阻礙,
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but a way to succeed
都會成為通向成功的路徑。
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the beauty of the covenant-keeping love
盟約式愛情的美麗,
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between Christ and his Church
也就是基督和教會式的盟約,
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shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it"
在兩人都完全依靠基督時, 散發出最明亮的光輝。
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Ian and I first met in 2005 at college
我和李恩是2005年上高中時相識的,
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and had a blast for ten months getting to know each other
我們熱戀了十個月的時間,
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I was looking through and I found one of my favorite pictures
有一天我整理照片, 看到一張我很喜歡的照片,
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which I think was actually taken right before his accident
是他出車禍前照的,
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he set up a camera on his tripod
他把相機安在腳架上照的。
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and it's just a classic Ian face
照片捕捉到他最典型的表情,
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that, to me, sums up who he is
我覺得那是最能體現他是怎樣的一個人,
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we had been dating for ten months
我們交往了十個月的時間,
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and he was working an extra job for his dad
那時他正在幫他爸爸做事,
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and he was on his way to work near Pittsburg
有一天, 他在比茲堡附近干活,
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and we got a phone call that he had been in an accident
我們接到電話, 說他出了車禍,
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and we didn't know if it was when he got to work
我們當時不知道車禍是什麼時候發生的, 是他已經到了工作地點,
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or on his way
還是在路途中,
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and so we got down to Pittsburg
我們趕到比茲堡,
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and I was just praying the whole time in the car
我在車上不住地禱告,
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that it wouldn't be his brain
希望車禍沒有傷到他的大腦,
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after being at the hospital for a few hours
到了醫院幾個小時后,
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we found out that it was
我們知道他頭部受傷,
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and he had been in brain surgery for a few hours
已經動腦手術好幾個小時了,
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and had suffered a traumatic brain injury
他頭部傷得很嚴重,
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God totally spared his life
但神保守了他的性命。
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one night he was failing four out of five brain activity tests
有天晚上, 他做了五個腦部反應檢測, 四個都沒有通過,
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and the next morning he was doing well
第二天早上他的情況又好轉,
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and his brain was starting to respond again
他的大腦又開始有反應了,
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I moved in with his family after the accident
車禍后我搬去和他家人一塊兒住,
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so I was really involved in his therapy
我參與了他整個治療的過程,
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and just did whatever I could to make his life fun
只要能讓他過的好些, 我能做什麼就做什麼,
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we'd go out on dates and, looking back, it's weird
我們還出去約會, 現在想起來, 覺得挺奇怪的,
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cause he couldn't talk
因為, 當時他說不了話,
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and he couldn't eat
也不能進食,
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so we probably looked like complete weirdos being on dates
我們約會, 就像一對怪物,
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but we had a blast and I just talked to him all the time
可是我們很享受, 我不停地跟他說話,
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I knew that before Ian's accident he was very serious
我知道李恩車禍前, 他是認真的,
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about marriage and was ring shopping
他想娶我, 還正准備買戒指,
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so I knew where he was
我明白他的心意,
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and that helped me so much
這一直支撐著我,
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after he couldn't talk
他不能說話以后,
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I knew that he loved me
我知道他愛我,
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and I knew where he wanted the relationship to go
也知道他想我們的關系會怎麼繼續下去,
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because we were dating very intentionally
因為我們是真心地約會,
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we just prayed that marriage would someday happen
我們禱告有一天我們會結婚,
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and watched all of our friends get married
我們看到周圍的朋友結婚了,
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and start having families
生孩子了,
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and that was challenging
我們感到有壓力,
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but we just tried to hold out hope
但我們只能抓住一個盼望,
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that that would be us someday
有一天, 結婚的是我們,
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This is our board of gratefulness
這是我們的感恩布告牌,
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and we encourage anybody who comes in
我們邀請每個來看我們的人,
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to write a note of something they're thankful for
寫下他們感恩的一件事,
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it could be really small
哪怕是很小的一件事情,
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mine is just Saturday mornings
我把感恩日定在星期六早上,
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it's just a good way that we found to be
我們發現這是個好辦法,
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just practicing gratefulness
可以練習向神感恩,
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Ian, I think half of yours say, "My wifey"
李恩, 我想你的另一半在說, ‘我的老婆’,
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yeah
是啊,
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which is pretty cool
好酷,
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yeah
是啊,
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we decided that we couldn't really
我們決定, 我們還不能
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consider marriage as an option
考慮辦婚事,
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until Ian was able to communicate
要等到李恩能用言語溝通。
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but if he could communicate with me
但如果他能和我溝通,
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then we could have a marriage
我們就可以考慮結婚,
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knowing it would be really different
要知道那就當然就不一樣了,
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but as long as Ian could talk to me
但只要他能對我說話,
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then we could make it work
那我們就要往這個方向努力。
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so once Ian began communicating
李恩開始說話時,
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it became a little bit more of an option
就有好多事可做了,
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and then we just kind of watched Ian progress
我們就留意他的進展,
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Hi, husband!
你好, 老公,
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Hi, wifey!
你好, 老婆,
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How are you?
你好嗎?
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Fine. How are you?
好, 你呢?
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What?
什麼?
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How are you?
你好嗎?
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I'm good, it's good to see you
很好, 很高興看見你。
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How was your day? Good?
今天過得怎麼樣? 好嗎?
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Good, yes
好, 很好。
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A conversation I had with his dad
我和他爸爸談了一次,
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it was one of those conversations
我們談的事,
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where I realized this could happen
讓我有了不同的想法,
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then that August his dad was diagnosed with brain cancer
八月, 他爸爸被診斷, 患了腦癌,
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and at that point his dad's biggest concern was Ian and I
那時他爸爸最關心的, 就是我和李恩,
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and whether or not we were going to get married
我們是不是要結婚,
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or step away from our relationship
還是要分手,
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he wanted us to make a decision
他想我們做個決定,
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to move our lives in some direction
對我們自己有個交代,
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he passed away before he was able to see us get engaged
他過世了, 就在看到我們訂婚之前,
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but that was a huge impetus in why we started to pursue engagement
但他給了我們一個催促, 所以我們開始訂婚,
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throughout premarital counseling
我們參加婚前輔導,
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we just used This Momentary Marriage
用的是《短暫的婚姻》
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it was so helpful because John Piper talked a lot about
給我們很大啟發, 約翰派伯說得很多內容
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primary things and secondary things
都是關於什麼是首要的, 什麼是次要的,
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which is real important for us
這對我們很重要,
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because we were walking out our marriage practically
因為我們要用實際的眼光去看我們的婚姻,
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Ian can't do the secondary things like working
李恩不能做很多婚姻中次要的事情, 比如工作,
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or making a meal for me
給我做飯,
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everything that's primary, though, he can do
但那些首要的事情, 他能做,
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which is leading me spiritually
比如在靈命上引導我,
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Ian always comes back to
李恩總是會提醒我回到起跑線,
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the foundational truths of who God is
就是回到最根本的事實: 神是怎樣的神,
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and kind of reels me back in from my emotions
他幫助我從自己的情緒中走出來,
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and that's the most important thing
這是最重要的事。
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we have two friends that we're going through the book with
我們有兩個朋友,和我們一起看這本書,
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I think we've just been able to help them see
我覺得,我們開始讓他們明白,
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that maybe the little things that they're excited for
那些讓他們很興奮的小事情,
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about marriage are worth being excited about
當然結婚會有很多值得高興的小事情,
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but they're not the end-all and be-all of their marriage
但那些事情不是婚姻的全部,也不是有那些就夠了,
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but we also have so much to learn
不過我們自己也有好多東西要去學,
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and we're learning from them
我們從他們身上也學到很多,
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and things that they share
從他們的分享中學到很多,
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because our relationships are different
我們的關系有很多變化,
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and we can glean different things from each other
能彼此互相補充,
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I think what helped us in deciding to make
我覺得, 能幫助我們決定,
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this commitment to each other
作出婚姻承諾的,
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at least for me
至少對我來講,
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is knowing that Ian wouldn't have left me
就是知道, 李恩不會離開我,
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if the roles were reversed
換了是我出了事,他不會離開我,
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and that we love each other and we know
我們彼此相愛, 也知道
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that God is going to be faithful to our marriage
神會用信實保守我們的婚姻。
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we're able to love each other
我們能愛對方,
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with, I think, a more Christ-like love
用像基督那樣的愛。
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because of Ian's disability
因為,李恩的殘疾,
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and just understand that picture
使我能更清楚地看到這一點,
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a little bit better than if you were healthy
比人在健康時看得更清楚。
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Do you agree?
你同意嗎?
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Yes
同意。
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What about God enables you to have a happy marriage?
神能給你一個快樂的婚姻, 你說呢?
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You know...
要知道。。
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What?
什麼?
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He's awesome!
衪太棒了!
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He's awesome?
衪太棒?
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Yeah
是啊。
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"When all around my soul gives way He then is all my hope and stay."
心中渴慕皆放下,唯靠主恩信永駐。
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Desiring God exists to spread the truth that
願主同在, 傳揚真理。
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God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.
在主裡心滿意足, 是我們最榮耀神的時刻。