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  • I know what you're thinking.

    我知道你在想,

  • This looks bad.

    這看起來很糟糕。

  • But I assure you,

    不過我保證,

  • I have everything under contr-UGH!

    這一切都在意料之中。

  • Okay, maybe not.

    好吧,也許不全在意料之中。

  • Ugh, such a dirty shoe.

    哎,這鞋子怎麽這麽髒。

  • First things first.

    首先,

  • I'm not your average teenager.

    我不是一般的少年。

  • I never get to grow up with a family with bikes and candy.

    我不在一個有自行車和糖果的普通家庭長大。

  • My family was an international network of killers.

    我的父母是國際特工。

  • I bike with a Falcon Recon 23X,

    我的自行車是一部變速摩托,

  • and the closest thing I ever got to candy was...

    而我見過的最像糖果的東西是……

  • Well, I did get a lolipop once

    嗯,小時候曾經見過一次棒棒糖……

  • but that's not the point!

    不過這不是重點!

  • As long as I remember, I've been trained to become an A.S.S.,

    從我記事開始,就已經在接受變成A.S.S.特工的訓練 (ASS英文縮寫意為“屁股”)

  • an Agent of Secret Stuff.

    A.S.S. “秘密東西特工”。(或者“屁股特工”)

  • For 17 years I trained alongside with one of the cruelest, boldest, most heartless killer of all the A.S.S.es,

    17年來我一直受訓於一名最冷酷無情的A.S.S.特工,

  • Tracy.

    他的名字叫Tracy。(常作女子名)

  • - It's a man's name...!

    - 這可是一個男子名!

  • 3 months ago, on the final day of my training,

    3個月前,在我即將結束訓練的那一天,

  • Tracy brought me in front of a panel,

    Tracy讓我會見了特工內閣,

  • the highest ranked A.S.S.es.

    他們都是組織裏最高等級的特工。

  • I'm talking top quality A.S.S.

    我說的可是很棒的A.S.S. (屁股)

  • - Aden, for the past 17 years you have been like a son to me.

    - Aden,在過去的17年裏我一直把你當做兒子看待。

  • We've been on missions around the world,

    你在世界各地執行任務,

  • prevented various global disasters and saved countless lives.

    防止了很多災難的發生和救助了很多人的生命。

  • And now, it's time for you to become an official Agent of Secret Stuff.

    現在,你即將要變成一名正式的“秘密東西特工”了。(屁股特工)

  • But, before I give you your Honorary Operative License Entitlement,

    不過,在我把你的“榮譽執行勛章”,H.O.L.E.勛章

  • your H.O.L.E.,

    交給你之前,(ASS-HOLE縮寫意為屁眼)

  • you have one more assignment you must complete.

    你還有最後一個任務。

  • - But... Sir! With all due respect, I devoted my life to training.

    - 可是…… 長官!我已經全心全力地在訓練了!

  • - You will follow orders!

    - 你必須聽從命令!

  • - But... But why?! I already did all the hard stuff!

    - 可是…… 為什麽?我已經完成過很多艱巨的任務了!

  • - We are A.S.S.es!

    - 我們是A.S.S.特工!

  • We do not complain when things get too hard.

    我們不會在困難面前滿口怨言。

  • We push on through, and we take it.

    我們只會努力地開辟道路。

  • - But you said...

    - 可是你以前說過……

  • - Enough!

    - 夠了!

  • Please, tell Aden his assignment.

    請把任務分配給Aden吧。

  • - Aden, we need you for a special assignment that only you can execute!

    - Aden,我們有一個特殊的任務只有你可以完成!

  • The Society Involving Not-so-good Stuff, a.k.a. the S.I.N.S.,

    “社會上不太好東西的幫會”,通常簡稱S.I.N.S. (SINS縮寫意為罪惡)

  • they have been our mortal enemies for decades.

    他們長年累月與我們作對。

  • And now, they have found a new target,

    最近,他們要對一個新的目標下手。

  • Taylor Rentrol, a high school senior.

    她叫做Taylor,是一個高中生。

  • We need an agent on the inside.

    我們將需要一個內應。

  • We believe that the S.I.N.S. have already infiltrated the school with assassins of their own!

    我們相信S.I.N.S.幫會已經派出了他們的殺手混在學校當中!

  • Your mission is to pose as a high school student and protect Taylor from impending threats!

    你的任務就是以高中生的身份去保護Taylor免受傷害!

  • - But... why are they after Taylor?

    - 但是…… 他們為什麽要對Taylor下手?

  • - That will be revealed at a later time,

    - 這個答案會在晚一點揭曉,

  • in like, 30 minutes?

    大概在30分鐘之後吧?

  • We have already made preparations for your enrollment.

    我們已經安排好了學校方面的事情,

  • A spot has been made available in all of Taylor's classes.

    正好在Taylor的各個班上都出現了空位。

  • She must not know that she is in danger!

    不過有一點,Taylor必須不能意識到她處在危險當中!

  • This is a new world for you!

    對你來說這將會是一個考驗!

  • High school students are the most dangerous and misunderstood citizens that you will ever come across!

    這些高中生會是你遇到過的最危險和棘手的對手!

  • You must operate cautiously.

    你要隨時保持警戒。

  • - I will not fail.

    - 我一定不會辜負眾望。

  • - Cool, peace out.

    - 很好,那麽我們就靜候佳音。

  • - Oh yea, come here.

    - 就是你吧,過來。

  • Guys, I need your attention just for one second.

    同學們,請安靜一下。

  • Hey!

    嘿!

  • Shut up. We have a new student.

    都給我閉嘴。我們有一個轉校生。

  • His name is um... Jose McDonald.

    他的名字是,嗯…… Jose Macdonald。(西班牙語名,多見於墨西哥裔)

  • Yea, obviously.

    嗯,沒錯。(看起來就像是墨西哥人)

  • Why don't you say Hi, Jose.

    給大家打個招呼吧,Jose。

  • Right on man, you're gonna fit in perfectly.

    不錯,你會喜歡上我們的班級的。

  • Why don't you take a seat in front of Bieber there?

    你的座位就在Bieber前面。

  • You guys open up your Visions book to Chapter 14.

    大家把書翻到第14章。

  • - Hey, I'm Taylor, Can I help you with something?

    - 嘿,我叫Taylor,你怎麽啦?

  • - Ho-lah, I'm "Joezy".

    - 你好,我叫…… “Joezy”。

  • - Isn't it pronounced as "Jose"?

    - 這個名字不是應該讀作“Jose”嗎?(正確的西班牙語發音)

  • - Is that what you want it to be?

    - 你想這樣叫我嗎?

  • So it's gonna be like our code word for "danger"?

    例如把這個詞當做我們的暗號?

  • - What are you talking about?...

    - 你在說什麽呢?……

  • - You know, I'll be "Hose A", you'll be "Hose B".

    - 你知道的,那麽我的代號就叫“Jose”,你呢,就叫“Jose-B”。

  • - Are you okay?

    - 你沒發燒吧?

  • - Taylor, zip it up and shut your face hole.

    - Taylor,上課時候專心點!

  • These kids are trying to learn.

    大家都在學習呢。

  • - Thanks a lot.

    - 這下可好,太謝謝你了。

  • - You're welcome.

    - 不用客氣。

  • - Hey Taylor, can I borrow your pencil sharpener?

    - 嘿,Taylor,我可以借用一下你的卷筆刀嗎?

  • - Yea sure, Melvin.

    - 當然了,Melvin。

  • Suspect will require a pencil sharpening tool to convert the writing stick into a weapon.

    疑犯要用卷筆刀來把文具變成武器

  • By inserting the yellow thing into the green thing, the dull thing will turn into a sharp thing.

    將黃色的物體插入綠色物體,使鈍器變利器。

  • He will then proceed to jump behind his target while she is pre-occupied,

    然後他會趁她不註意的時候跳到身後,

  • and apply a fatal impending weapon into her jugular artery!

    並且用尖銳的武器插入她的大動脈!

  • - There you go.

    - 來,給你。

  • - Give the sharpener back.

    - 把卷筆刀還回來。

  • - What's your problem?

    - 你腦袋有問題啊?

  • - What do you take me for, a fresh--man?

    - 你以為我幼稚到這種地步嗎?

  • Give the sharpener back.

    馬上還回來!

  • - Jose, what are you doing?

    - Jose,你這是要幹嘛?

  • - Fine, Jeez.

    - 還就還唄……

  • - What was that all about Jose?

    - 你怎麽能這樣呢?

  • - Don't worry, I got you. "Hose B".

    - 別擔心,我會看好你的,“Jose-B”。

  • - Alright, class, that's it.

    - 好啦,同學們,下課了。

  • Remember, Chapter 15! Read it... or not, it's your future.

    記得回去讀第15章!別把自己的前途不當一回事。

  • Oh by the way, pop quiz next week! You guys know the drill.

    順便一提,下周會有突擊測驗!好自為之吧。

  • Oh, Taylor, I'll need to speak with you after class, if you have a moment.

    對了,Taylor,我要找你談談。

  • Good work today, guys. I was kidding.

    今天幹的不錯同學們。好吧我只是說說而已,別當真了。

  • Remember these days, kids. You will miss them.

    記住現在的美好時光吧,以後可就沒這麽好過了。

  • See you tomorrow!

    明天見!

  • Hey, Taylor, I want to talk to you about the... the homecoming dance.

    嘿,Taylor,我想跟你談談畢業舞會。

  • I know it is kinda a thing that you are planning with the student council.

    我知道你跟學生會都在很緊張地籌備,

  • But we do have a lot of volunteering that is coming up, you know,

    不過馬上還有很多重要的義工活動需要你參加,

  • make sure you still have time to do that.

    別弄得太累了。

  • - No, definitely, it should be fine.

    - 沒問題。

  • We are almost done planning.

    我們都已經準備得七七八八了。

  • - Okay alright, I trust you. You're not like the other bastards in this class.

    - 那就好,我相信你。你在班裏是數一數二的,

  • You're the good one.

    你最有前途。

  • - Thanks, I appreciate it. Is that it?

    - 謝謝誇獎,老師。還有別的東西嗎?

  • - Alright I'll see you later. - Bye.

    - 沒了,咱們明天見吧。 - 再見!

  • - Don't you ever do that again.

    - 以後別再讓我看到你這樣做了。

  • - Excuse me?

    - 什麽?

  • - I said, don't you ever do that again.

    - 我說,以後你別再讓我看到你這樣做了。

  • Keeping Taylor in the room alone is not safe.

    把Taylor一個人留在教室裏是很危險的。

  • - Oh yea, I forgot, you are right.

    - 哦!當然,你說的很對。

  • I didn't know what I was thinking otherwise I'll be... Who the hell are you?

    我一時自己都忘了,不然的話…… 你以為你是哪根蔥?!

  • - Well, I am the new kid, remember?

    - 我,我是那個轉校生,記得嗎……

  • You just introduced me.

    你剛剛才介紹過我的……

  • - Get the hell out of my class!

    - 滾出我的教室!

  • - I am glad that we had this talk.

    - 很高興能把話說清楚。

  • - Hey there, son.

    - 嘿,你在這兒呢。

  • I am glad I found you.

    終於找到你了。

  • I hope you enjoyed your first day of school so far.

    希望你學期的第一天過得還算不錯。

  • I just wanted to give you your new locker assignment.

    我來告訴你你的儲物櫃子在那裏吧。

  • Actually, you are quite lucky, a new one just opened up the other day.

    事實上,你很走運,這兩天剛好有一個儲物櫃空出來了。

  • - Oh, hey!

    - 噢,嘿!

  • Wow, your locker is next to mine.

    哇,你的櫃子就在我的旁邊呢。

  • I wonder where Billy went.

    不知道Billy上哪兒去了呢?

  • - Yea, strange huh, Ha ha ha ha...

    - 對呀,這可神了,哈哈哈哈……

  • - Well if we gonna see each other this much,

    - 看來我們以後都會天天見面了呢,

  • why don't we just start over?

    不如我們重新來自我介紹一下吧。

  • Hi, Jose, I'm Taylor. Nice to meet you.

    你好,Jose,我叫Taylor,很高興認識你。

  • - Nice to meet you too.

    - 我也很高興認識你。

  • - It's called a handshake, Jose.

    - 這叫握手啊,Jose。

  • You're so silly, it's like you've never made a friend before.

    你好笨哦,怎麽好像都沒交過朋友一樣。

  • - "You will follow orders!" - "Ahhh..."

    - “你會聽從命令!” - “啊……”

  • - Hey Taylor!

    - 嘿,Taylor!

  • - Oh hey, what's up, how are you?

    - 噢,是你啊,最近怎樣?

  • - I'm good. Did you finish that paper in English?

    - 還好。你寫好英文的作業了嗎?

  • - No, not yet, it is due soon? In two days...

    - 還沒呢,還有兩天就要交了呢……

  • Suspect from across the hall examines his target, his eyes indicate he is aiming for the most exposed and vital area, her chest.

    疑犯從走廊對面監視著目標,他的註意力集中在她最暴露和可致命的胸部上。

  • Only 3 steps away from pumping her with barrages of bullet punches straight to her ribcages that will no doubt stop her heart forever for life!

    僅僅3步之遙,他就能夠迸發出一系列拳擊打斷肋骨甚至波及心臟!

  • - What are you looking at?!

    - 你在看什麽呢?!

  • - Bye Jose!

    - 再見,Jose!

  • - Bye!

    - Bye!

  • - I said, what were you looking at?

    - 我說,你剛才在看什麽呢?

  • - Chill out, Man, I'm just checking out Taylor's rack, she is looking especially hot today.

    - 冷靜一點,我只是在覺得她的胸部今天特別迷人。

  • - Her rack?

    - 她的胸部?

  • - Yea, man, her knockers.

    - 對呀,她的胸部。(此處發音像“打她”)

  • - So you were trying to knock her!

    - 你果然是想要攻擊她!

  • - No, man, I am talking about her boobs!

    - 什麽?不!我在說她的胸部!

  • - You know, these things?

    - 挺拔的胸部!

  • - Oh, okay then, as long as you were not looking at that ribcage.

    - 噢,好吧。你休想打她肋骨的主意。

  • You stay the hell away from that ribcage!

    你最好離那副肋骨遠遠的!

  • - Bryson! New guy!

    - Bryson!那個新來的!

  • - I'm gonna destroy you!

    - 我會把你打得很慘!

  • Your face is gonna be so ugly when I am done with your face, cause... it's kinda handsome right now.

    你的臉蛋一會兒就肯定腫的不成人樣,因為現在居然還有點帥氣。

  • Ah.....!

    啊……!

  • - I wasn't ready! I want a rematch!

    - 我剛才沒有準備好!我要再比一次!

  • Target is greatly outnumbered by opposition, each of them possesses some sort of netted-stick weapon.

    目標被重重包圍,寡不敵眾,所有敵人均手持著某種網狀鐵棒武器!

  • Surrounded and unaware, she is vulnerable to attacks from all directions!

    她還完全沒有註意到她的周圍危機四伏!

  • - Jose? Where did you come from?

    - Jose?你從哪裏鉆出來的?

  • - You almost took a shuttlecock to the face.

    - 你差點就被羽球打到臉了。

  • - But how did you...?

    - 但是你怎麽……

  • - What are you doing?! Come on! Let me go!

    - 你這是幹嘛,快放開我!

  • How did I even get here?! Let me go! Come on!

    居然神不知鬼不覺就把我綁起來了,快幫我松綁!

  • - How did you do that?

    - 你到底是怎麽做到這一切的?

  • - He's like... incredibly fast and strong.

    - 他似乎有閃電般的速度和無法比擬的力量。

  • - He's like a mystical creature that is fast and strong.

    - 他還有點神秘。

  • - I know, right? He's like a... a unicorn!

    - 我知道了,他就像一個…… 獨角獸!

  • - But a human... a "humacorn".

    - 可是他外表是人…… 啊,“獨角人獸”!

  • - Stop it guys, he's just different.

    - 別瞎掰了,他只是有點不同而已。

  • - He's a freak.

    - 他是個怪胎。

  • - I don't know, I think he is kinda cute the way he takes everything so seriously.

    - 嗯…… 但我覺得他還蠻可愛的,他把所有的事情都看得很認真呢。

  • - It's kinda creepy... don't you think?

    - 這不是很令人毛骨悚然嗎?

  • - He's harmless, he's like a little puppy that just wants all your attention.

    - 我覺得他善意的,他只是想引人註目而已,就跟剛出生的小狗一樣。

  • - A "humacoruppy"!

    - 啊,難道他是一只“獨角人狗獸”?

  • - You girls are ridiculous. Let's go.

    - 你們越說越離譜了。咱們走吧。

  • - I think Taylor has a crush.

    - Taylor一定是看上那男的了。

  • "High school students are the most dangerous and misunderstood citizens that you will ever come across!"

    “這裏的高中生將會是你遇到過的最危險和棘手的對手!”

  • - What happened?

    - 發生什麽事了?

  • - Slippery floors...

    - 地板太滑了……

  • - What?

    - 什麽?

  • - Probably didn't see the "Piso Mojado" sign...

    - 肯定是他們都沒能讀懂那個用西班牙語寫的“小心地滑”標誌……

  • - What?

    - 什麽?

  • - Yea, let's just...

    - 好啦,我們趕緊吧……

  • - But what about my...

    - 但是我的同學……

  • - Uhh... yea, so I hope you have a good first day at school.

    - 嗯,希望你今天過得還順心吧。

  • - You're still alive, so it's a great day.

    - 你還活著呢,這真是一個奇跡般的一天!

  • - Okay, I'll see you later.

    - 好吧。那我們再見咯。

  • Oh, are you coming this way too?

    噢,你也走這邊嗎?

  • - Hey, so I was talking to Mr. Anderson about the event coming right after homecoming.

    - 嘿,我今天跟老師談了那個關於畢業舞會前後的活動。

  • I am gonna need a lot of help planing that event. I don't know how...

    我想我需要更多的人手來幫忙策劃……

  • - No...!

    - 別……!

  • - Ah..! Oh my god!

    - 啊……!我的天啊!

  • Get out of my room!

    滾出我的房間!

  • - Don't throw things... No!

    - 別丟東西了好不好……

  • - Get away from me! Ah...!

    - 快走開!啊……!

  • - Alright, I am not gonna hurt you.

    - 別鬧了!我不會傷害你的。

  • You just need to... just calm down, Okay?

    你冷靜一下好不好?

  • - Okay...

    - 哦……

  • - Are you trying to get yourself killed?

    - 你是不是很想被謀殺?

  • Did you know what you just almost did but didn't do because I didn't let you do what you wanted to do?

    你知道你剛才差點做了什麽事情嗎?幸好我及時阻止了你!

  • - Yes?

    - 這不廢話麽?

  • - No! You don't!

    - 不!你很明顯不知道!

  • Do you know what this is?

    你知道這是什麽嗎?

  • This is Little Miss Double Rainbow Girly Cookies and you almost eat them all the way.

    這是“迷你兩條彩虹小姐的娘泡曲奇”,而你差點就全吃了!

  • You don't even know who has handled this or who could have poisoned this.

    你根本不知道這到底經過誰的手,萬一被下毒了怎麽辦?

  • - What?

    - 什麽?

  • - Look, I've been trying to stay undercover but you are making this too damn difficult.

    - 你看,我本來想盡量保持低調地來保護你,不過你真是讓我覺得太頭疼了。

  • First, first you handed over a pencil sharpener to someone with a pencil.

    首先,你居然把卷筆刀親手送上了一個握著鉛筆的人手裏。

  • Do you wanna get stab in the neck?

    你真的那麽想被鉛筆插傷嗎?

  • And then, you almost took a shuttle cock to your face. Do you know how much that hurts?

    然後,你差點就被羽球打到臉。你知道那有多痛嗎?

  • Have you ever have a shuttle cock to your face before? No, you haven't. It hurts, I know.

    看來你從來都沒被羽球打到過臉!那是很痛的!我以親身經歷告訴你!

  • Now you are eating cookies, you're eating cookies! Do you wanna get poisoned?...And fat?

    現在呢,你倒開始吃曲奇餅了,你那麽想被下毒和變胖麽?

  • Your carelessness is driving me insane!

    你那神經大條的性格真是讓我氣瘋了!

  • - I am driving you insane?

    - 我把你氣瘋了?!

  • My friends are right.. you are a freak...

    我的朋友說對了,你就是一個怪胎……

  • I know exactly what you are...

    我知道你的真實身份……

  • - Oh you do, alright then say it, say it out loud.

    - 你知道啊,那說說看啊?

  • - Unicorn...

    - 獨角獸……

  • - What? Unicorns don't even exist, in North America, probably.

    - 哈?獨角獸根本不存在,反正北美洲是沒見到過。

  • - Then who... What are you?

    - 那麽你到底是誰?你到底是什麽?

  • - Alright look, I am gonna be completely honest with you.

    - 好吧,我打算跟你攤開來說了。

  • I'm not really a Mexican. My name is not Jose, it's Aiden.

    我其實不是墨西哥人,我的名字不是Jose。我的真名是Aden。

  • And I'm an A.S.S.

    我是一名A.S.S.特工 (此處可理解為“賤人”或者“屁股”)

  • - Yea, you are.

    - 沒錯,你就是個賤人。

  • - No, you don't understand. Look, I am in the final stages of becoming an Agent of Secret Stuff.

    - 不對,你不明白。我馬上就要成為一名“秘密東西特工”了。

  • And my last mission was to come here and protect you.

    我最後一個任務就是來這裏保護你。

  • - Protect me? From who?

    - 保護我?誰要打我的主意?

  • - The S.I.N.S.!

    - 那些S.I.N.S.殺手! (此處可理解為“所造的罪孽”)

  • - Is this all just to get me to go to church?

    - 你不會是來說服我去教堂的吧?

  • - Oh my god... You're stupid.

    - 天啊,你真是沒救了。

  • Alright, okay, here, here is the whole story.

    好吧,我把來龍去脈都給你講一遍。