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  • - Basically all my friends parents

    - 我所有麻吉的爸媽啊

  • were like Amy Poehler in Mean Girls.

    基本上都讓我的麻吉們放牛吃草呀

  • My parents are great now, and were so strict growing up.

    我爸媽現在還好,可是在我還小的時候,他們超嚴的

  • - They are both very religious, Catholic believers.

    - 我爸媽的宗教信仰相當虔誠,他們都是天主教徒

  • - First of all, my dad is the cleanest man alive.

    - 先來說我爸好了,我爸是這個世界上最~~~愛乾淨的人

  • His house is a museum.

    家裡都被他打造成博物館了

  • - I wasn't even allowed to say freaking,

    - 他以前還不准我說 “freaking(超級)”這個字

  • because it sounded like fuck.

    因為這個字聽起來跟 ”fuck“ 太像了

  • - I realized my parents were strict,

    - 大概是在我唸小學的時候吧

  • probably some time in elementary school

    其他小朋友都可以到別人家去睡覺,可是就我不行

  • when other kids got to have sleepovers and I did not.

    那時候我就意識到我爸媽其實還蠻嚴的

  • - Unless they knew the kid's parents

    - 除非我爸媽也知道對方的爸媽

  • I wasn't allowed to hang out with them

    要不然我就不准跟對方玩在一起

  • or they were not allowed to come over.

    對方也不准來我們家玩

  • - My mom would let me stay at other people's houses,

    - 我媽會讓我在其他人家裡玩一下啦

  • but then as they were going to sleep she would just show up

    可是當大家都差不多要來睡覺的時候,這時候我媽就會現身

  • and be like, time to go.

    然後跟我說,該回家囉

  • - I wasn't really allowed to go out after school

    - 到我18歲之前啊

  • until I was like 18.

    我爸媽其實都不太準我放學時候在外面遛達的

  • But I would anyway.

    可是那叛逆的血液留在我的身體裡,誰也管不著呀

  • I thought I was being like super cool and rebellious,

    那時候我還以為「放學不回家」整個就是個超屌超叛逆的表現

  • but I'd just like go skateboarding with friends.

    可是其實我也只是跟朋友去溜個滑板而已顆顆

  • - I would bring over my friends who were

    - 我有時候會帶一些

  • like clearly gay men and my parents would like

    明顯是同志的男性友人回家,然後我爸媽看到的時候

  • flip out that I was gonna get impregnated

    他們就會自行腦補我挺著一個大肚球的小劇場,然後對我大發飆

  • in the time that we were playing Wii U.

    而且什麼時候不選,偏偏還是選在我們在玩 Wii的時候對我發飆

  • - Every summer my mom would like sit me down

    - 以前每年夏天的時候,我媽還會把我「定」在位子上

  • and make me learn like half of my math class

    讓後要我「超修」下個學年

  • for the next year.

    數學課一半的內容

  • - I went to public school, then at night

    - 白天的時候我就去上一般的公立學校,晚上的時候呢

  • I had to go to Catholic school.

    我還要去我的天主教學校上課

  • Basically all day I was in school.

    所以基本上我整天都泡在學校裡啦

  • - Every Friday night my mom would allow me

    - 每個禮拜五晚上

  • to go upstairs to play video games for one hour, exactly.

    我媽會讓我在家樓上,打整整一小時的電動

  • And then I would have to go down

    打完之後,我就得要下樓

  • and do math homework with her.

    然後跟我媽一起唸數學

  • And I would pray that she would just forget.

    雖然當時我一直祈禱我媽會就這樣子把要唸數學這件事情給忘了

  • She never did.

    可是我媽記憶力卻好得嚇人

  • - One rule was you have to be home by sunset.

    - 我們家的家規其中一條,就是太陽下山之前一定要回到家

  • There's a period of time during the fall

    可是每年秋天的時候啊

  • that the sun goes down at four,

    太陽每天四點就下山了

  • and then I wasn't out of school

    這時候我根本就還沒下課

  • and I had to explain that to my dad

    所以我還要跟我爸解釋這些

  • and he was just like, when the sun is down, you are home.

    然後他就只會跟我說,太陽下山的時候,你就是要在家就對了

  • - When I was a kid and I lived with my father

    - 我還小的時候是跟我爸著的

  • it was a little tough.

    那些日子還真的是充滿著各種酸甜苦辣呢

  • You know, you kick off your shoes, you're watching T.V.

    有幾次晚上我看電視的時候啊,就順腳鞋子一踢

  • the end of the night and then you forget and you go to bed.

    然後看完電視之後,壓根兒就不記得有鞋子這回事,就這樣去睡了

  • The next morning they'll be in the trash.

    然後早上起來的時候,才發現鞋子被丟到垃圾桶裡了

  • He wouldn't throw them in the trash inside the house.

    我爸還故意不把鞋子丟在家裡的垃圾桶

  • He would throw them in the trash outside of the house.

    他會故意選外面的垃圾桶丟

  • - More times than one my parents caught me masturbating.

    - 我爸媽曾經抓到我「自己嚕」,而且還不只一次

  • They basically just told me to not do it again.

    基本上他們就只是叫我不要再嚕了這樣

  • Like literally for the rest of my life

    他們的意思是,叫我接下來的餘生

  • to never jack off again.

    都・不・要再嚕了

  • - My brother was allowed to do whatever he want.

    - 我哥整個就是想做什麼就做什麼

  • He could be out when the sun was down.

    太陽下山的時候,他還可以在外面晃呀晃

  • He could be in the room with a girl in our house.

    他還可以在自己房間跟女生獨處

  • I feel like my brother, if you asked him,

    要是你問我哥的話

  • would be like, there were no rules.

    他大概會說,「蛤?我們有家規喔」

  • - I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16.

    - 我到16歲之前都被禁止交往

  • I started dating at 13 and I didn't care,

    可是我13歲就開始了,#恁祖嬤94爽

  • but I got pulled out of school for that.

    可是出來混的總是要還,反正最後我爸媽把我強制退學了哭哭

  • - My mom was very against dating in general.

    - 不管對象是誰,我媽整個就是反對我交往就對了

  • And so my counterargument would be like,

    所以我就跟她吵啊, 我會問她

  • so you want me to die an old spinster?

    妳難道要我就這樣孤老而死嗎?

  • And she just be like, no,I'll just choose

    然後我媽就會回說,不會啦,你未來的夫婿

  • your husband for you.

    我來幫你選就好

  • - One of the biggest fights me and my dad ever got in

    - 我跟我爸吵過最大的其中一次,是跟他們不准

  • was that I was not allowed to wear short shorts.

    我穿短褲有關

  • - Or short skirts.

    - 或是短裙

  • So I had these pair of leggings

    所以啊,為了在爸媽面前演好我的乖乖牌

  • that I wouldwear out of the house

    以前我從家裡要出發到學校的時候,我都會先穿好(短裙再加)褲襪

  • and then as soon as I got to school or wherever else,

    然後等我到學校或著是到了我要去的其他目的地的時候

  • I would take the leggings off.

    我就會把褲襪脫掉

  • But I had to remember to put the leggings on

    然後到要回家的時候

  • when I got home.

    我還要記得把褲襪穿回去

  • And sometimes I would forget,

    有時候我還真的會忘記

  • but I would just run upstairs to my room

    這種時候我就以那迅雷不及掩耳的速度衝回房間

  • and hope that nobody noticed.

    然後暗自祈禱沒有人注意到我那光溜溜的腿

  • - And then one time I pierced my ear

    - 有一次我去打了耳洞

  • and I just came to his house with a pierced ear.

    然後我就這樣子到了我爸住的地方

  • He looked like I slapped my grandmother or something.

    我爸那時候看到我的表情,好像他看到我賞了我阿嬤一巴掌那樣的震驚

  • That was just an expression,

    這只是一種形容

  • like he couldn't believe I had done something like that.

    我爸看起來整個就是對我穿耳洞這個行為無法置信

  • - I think as I've gotten older

    - 個人覺得在我慢慢長大的過程中

  • my relationship with my parents

    我跟我爸媽的關係

  • has become more reasonable.

    有越來越多可以商量的空間

  • - I think my parents could have laid back

    - 我覺得,我父母終於不再覺得

  • on the idea that if I got a B on one class

    如果我在課堂上拿了個B

  • my life would just be over.

    我的人生就完了

  • - I appreciate that they sheltered me.

    - 我真的很謝謝他們對我的呵護

  • It gave me structure to my life,

    他們對我的呵護,讓我的人生健全

  • and it made me more responsible.

    也讓我變成一個有責任感的人

  • And I maybe didn't get into as much trouble

    我想這也是為什麼

  • as I would have.

    我在長大的過程中,沒有長太歪的原因吧顆顆

  • - It makes you appreciate all the stuff that you earned.

    - 爸媽為我們所做的一切,真的是會讓我們打從心底感恩

  • It feels like you earned every privilege.

    真的會讓我們覺得,我們是被天公伯疼愛的那群

  • - Yeah, I get why my parents were strict.

    - 是啊,我想我現在可以了解為什麼我爸媽以前那麼嚴了

  • If I had a kid like me when I was a kid,

    要是我現在有一個像孩提時代的我自己一樣的小孩的話

  • that's like my worst fear.

    跟你講,我真的會避之唯恐不及呀

  • - Even though I wish my parents were less strict,

    - 雖然說我真心希望我爸媽當時可以不要那麼嚴

  • I feel like I'm gonna be more strict than my parents.

    可是我覺得我以後會比我爸媽還嚴

  • Mainly I want funny kids.

    好啦,主要是因為我想要他們變成一群爆笑小蘿蔔頭

  • I want them to be Vine famous when they're toddlers,

    我想要他們從小就是網紅

  • or they're useless to me.

    要不然他們對我來說就沒屁用了顆顆

- Basically all my friends parents

- 我所有麻吉的爸媽啊

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A2 初級 中文 美國腔 褲襪 鞋子 垃圾桶 學校 太陽 家規

你家也有狼爸&虎媽嗎?聽聽小孩們的心酸血淚史! (What It Is Like To Grow Up With Strict Parents)

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    Mike NiKao-Kusata   發佈於 2017 年 06 月 30 日
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