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  • My name is Canwen, and I play both the piano and the violin.

    我叫坎文,我既會彈鋼琴又會拉小提琴。

  • I aspire to some day be a doctor, and my favorite subject is calculus.

    我渴望有朝一日能成為一名醫生,我最喜歡的科目是微積分。

  • My mom and dad are tiger parents,

    我的爸爸媽媽是虎爸虎媽。

  • who won't let me go to sleepovers,

    誰也不會讓我去過夜。

  • but they make up for it by serving my favorite meal every single day.

    但他們每天都會提供我最喜歡的食物來彌補。

  • Rice.

    米飯。

  • And I'm a really bad driver.

    而我'是一個非常糟糕的司機。

  • So my question for you now is,

    所以我現在要問你的問題是:

  • "How long did it take you to figure out I was joking?"

    "你花了多長時間才明白我是在開玩笑?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • As you've probably guessed, today I am going to talk about race

    你可能已經猜到了,今天我要講的是關於種族的問題。

  • and I'll start off by sharing with you my story

    我將開始與你分享我的故事。

  • of growing up Asian-American.

    的亞裔美國人的成長。

  • I moved to the United States when I was two years old,

    我兩歲的時候就搬到了美國。

  • so almost my entire life has been a blend of two cultures.

    所以幾乎我的一生都是兩種文化的融合。

  • I eat pasta with chopsticks.

    我是用筷子吃意大利麵的。

  • I'm addicted to orange chicken, and my childhood hero was Yao Ming.

    我'迷上了橘子雞,我的童年英雄是姚明。

  • But having grown up in North Dakota, South Dakota, and Idaho,

    但在北達科他州、南達科他州和愛達荷州長大。

  • all states with incredible little racial diversity,

    所有州的種族多樣性少得不可思議。

  • it was difficult to reconcile my so-called exotic Chinese heritage

    所謂 "洋為中用 "難於登天

  • with my mainstream American self.

    與我的美國主流自我。

  • Used to being the only Asian in the room,

    習慣了作為房間裡唯一的亞洲人。

  • I was self-conscious at the first thing people noticed about me

    我在人們注意到我的第一件事時就很自覺了

  • was, that I wasn't white.

    是,我是不是'不白。

  • And as a child I quickly began to realize

    而作為一個孩子,我很快就開始意識到

  • that I had two options in front of me.

    我的面前有兩個選擇。

  • Conformed to the stereotype that was expected of me,

    符合人們對我的期望的刻板印象。

  • or conformed to the whiteness that surrounded me.

    或符合我周圍的白色。

  • There was no in between.

    沒有中間人。

  • For me, this meant that I always felt self-conscious about being good at maths,

    對我來說,這意味著我總覺得自己的數學好。

  • because people would just say it was because I was Asian,

    因為人們會說這是因為我是亞洲人。

  • not because I actually worked hard.

    不是因為我真的很努力。

  • It meant that whenever a boy asked me out,

    這意味著,每當有男孩約我出去。

  • it was because he had the yellow fever,

    是因為他得了黃熱病。

  • and not because he actually liked me.

    而不是因為他真的喜歡我。

  • It meant that for the longest time

    這意味著,在很長一段時間裡

  • my identity had formed around the fact that I was different.

    我的身份已經形成 圍繞著事實,我是不同的。

  • And I thought that being Asian was the only special thing about me.

    我還以為作為亞洲人是我唯一的特別之處。

  • These effects were emphasized by the places where I lived.

    這些效果被我居住的地方強調了。

  • Don't get me wrong.

    不要誤會我的意思。

  • Only a small percentage of people were actually racist,

    實際上只有一小部分人是種族主義者。

  • or, even borderline racist,

    或者,甚至是邊緣的種族主義者。

  • but the vast majority were just a little bit clueless.

    但絕大多數人只是有點懵。

  • Now, I know you are probably thinking, "What's the difference?"

    現在,我知道你可能在想,"有什麼區別?&quot。

  • Well, here is an example.

    好吧,這裡有一個例子。

  • Not racist can sound like, "I'm white and you're not."

    不種族主義可以聽起來像,"I'm white and you're not.&quot。

  • Racist can sound like,

    種族主義者可以聽起來像。

  • "I'm white, you're not, and that makes me better than you."

    "我'是白人,你'不是,這讓我比你更好。

  • But clueless sounds like,

    但毫無頭緒,聽起來像。

  • "I'm white, you're not, and I don't know how to deal with that."

    "我'是白人,你'不是,我不知道如何處理這個問題.&quot。

  • Now, I don't doubt for a second

    現在,我不懷疑一秒鐘

  • that these clueless people are still nice individuals

    這些無知的人還是好人

  • with great intentions.

    用心良苦。

  • But they do ask some questions that become pretty annoying after a while.

    但他們確實問了一些問題,過一段時間就會變得很煩人。

  • Here are a few examples.

    下面是幾個例子。

  • "You're Chinese, oh my goodness, I have a Chinese friend, do you know him?"

    "你'是中國人,天哪,我有個中國朋友,你認識他嗎?&quot。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • "No.

    "號。

  • I don't know him.

    我不認識他。

  • Because contrary to your unrealistic expectations,

    因為與你不切實際的期望相反。

  • I do not know every single one of the 1.35 billion Chinese people

    我不認識13.5億中國人中的每一個人。

  • who live on Planet Earth."

    生活在地球上的人.&quot。

  • People also tend to ask,

    人們也往往會問。

  • "Where does your name come from?",

    "你的名字是怎麼來的?"。

  • and I really don't know how to answer that,

    而我真的不知道該如何回答。

  • so I usually stick with the truth.

    所以我通常堅持真理。

  • "My parents gave it to me.

    "我父母給我的。

  • Where does your name come from?"

    你的名字是怎麼來的呢&quot。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Don't even get me started

    不要讓我開始

  • on how many times people have confused me with a different Asian person.

    有多少次,人們把我和另一個亞洲人搞混了。

  • One time someone came up to me and said,

    有一次,有人走過來對我說。

  • "Angie, I love your art work!"

    "安琪,我喜歡你的藝術作品!&quot。

  • And I was super confused,

    而我卻超級迷茫。

  • so I just thanked them and walked away.

    所以我就謝過他們,然後走了。

  • But, out of all the questions

    但是,在所有的問題中

  • my favorite one is still the classic, "Where are you from?",

    我最喜歡的還是那句經典的,"你從哪裡來"。

  • because I've lived in quite a few places,

    因為我'住過不少地方。

  • so this is how the conversation usually goes.

    所以這就是通常的對話方式。

  • "Where are you from?"

    "你是哪裡人?&quot。

  • "Oh, I am from Boise, Idaho."

    "哦,我來自愛達荷州的博伊西.&quot。

  • "I see, but where are you really from?"

    "我明白了,但你到底是哪裡人呢&quot。

  • "I mean, I lived in South Dakota for a while."

    "我的意思是,我在南達科他州住了一段時間.&quot。

  • "Okay, what about before that?"

    "好吧,那之前呢?&quot。

  • "I mean, I lived in North Dakota."

    我的意思是,我住在北達科他州.&quot。

  • "Okay, I'm just going to cut straight to the chase here,

    "好吧,我'就在這裡直接切入正題。

  • I guess what I'm saying is,

    我想我'要說的是。

  • have you ever lived anywhere far away from here,

    你有沒有住過任何地方 遠離這裡。

  • where people talk a little differently?"

    在那裡,人們說話的方式有點不同?&quot。

  • "Oh, I know where you talking about, yes I have, I used to live in Texas."

    "哦,我知道你說的是哪裡,是的,我有,我曾經住在德克薩斯.&quot。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • By then, they usually have just given up and wonder to themselves

    到那時,他們通常已經放棄了,自己也在想

  • why I'm not one of the cool Asians like Jeremy Lin or Jackie Chan,

    為什麼我不像林書豪或成龍那樣是個酷酷的亞洲人。

  • or they skip the needless banter and go straight for the,

    或者他們跳過無謂的戲謔,直奔。

  • "Where is your family from?"

    "你的家人來自哪裡?&quot。

  • So, just an FYI for all of you out there, that is the safest strategy.

    所以,只是給大家提個醒,這是最安全的策略。

  • But, as amusing as these interactions were,

    不過,雖然這些互動很有趣。

  • oftentimes they made me want to reject my own culture,

    很多時候,它們讓我想拒絕自己的文化。

  • because I thought it helped me conform.

    因為我覺得這能幫助我適應。

  • I distanced myself from the Asian stereotype

    我與亞洲人的刻板印象保持距離。

  • as much as possible, by degrading my own race,

    儘可能的貶低自己的種族。

  • and pretending I hated math.

    並假裝我討厭數學。

  • And the worse part was, it worked.

    更糟糕的是,它的工作。

  • The more I rejected my Chinese identity, the more popular I became.

    我越是排斥自己的中國身份,越是受歡迎。

  • My peers liked me more, because I was more similar to them.

    我的同齡人更喜歡我,因為我和他們更相似。

  • I became more confident, because I knew I was more similar to them.

    我變得更加自信,因為我知道我和他們更相似。

  • But as I became more Americanized,

    但隨著我越來越美國化。

  • I also began to lose bits and pieces of myself,

    我也開始失去自己的點點滴滴。

  • parts of me that I can never get back,

    我的一部分,我永遠無法恢復。

  • and no matter how much I tried to pretend

    無論我多麼想假裝

  • that I was the same as my American classmates,

    說我和美國同學一樣。

  • I wasn't.

    我不是'沒有。

  • Because for people who have lived in the places where I lived,

    因為對於在我生活過的地方生活過的人來說。

  • white is the norm, and for me, white became the norm too.

    白色是常態,對我來說,白色也成了常態。

  • For my fourteenth birthday, I received the video game The Sims 3,

    十四歲生日時,我收到了電子遊戲《模擬人生3》。

  • which lets you create your own characters and control their lives.

    讓你可以創建自己的角色並控制他們的生活。

  • My fourteen-year-old self created the perfect little mainstream family,

    我十四歲的自己創造了一個完美的主流小家庭。

  • complete with a huge mansion and an enormous swimming pool.

    配有一座巨大的豪宅和一個巨大的游泳池。

  • I binge-played the game for about three months,

    我狂玩了大約三個月的遊戲。

  • then put it away and never really thought about it again,

    然後把它收了起來,再也沒有真正想過。

  • until a few weeks ago,

    直到幾周前。

  • when I came to a sudden realization.

    當我突然意識到。

  • The family, that I had custom-designed, was white.

    這家,是我定製設計的,是白色的。

  • The character that I had designed for myself, was white.

    我為自己設計的角色,是白色的。

  • Everyone I had designed was white.

    我設計的每個人都是白人。

  • And the worst part was,

    而最糟糕的是。

  • this was by no means a conscious decision that I had made.

    這絕不是我有意識地做出的決定。

  • Never once did I think to myself

    我從來沒有對自己說過

  • that I could actually make the characters look like me.

    我真的可以讓角色看起來像我。

  • Without even thinking, white had become my norm too.

    不經意間,白色也成了我的常態。

  • The truth is,

    事實是:

  • Asian Americans play a strange role in the American melting pot.

    亞裔美國人在美國大熔爐中扮演著一個奇怪的角色。

  • We are the model minority.

    我們是模範少數派。

  • Society uses our success to pit us against other people of color

    社會利用我們的成功讓我們和其他有色人種對立起來

  • as justification that racism doesn't exist.

    作為種族主義不存在的理由。

  • But was does that mean for us, Asian Americans?

    但這對我們亞裔美國人來說,意味著什麼呢?

  • It means that we are not quite similar enough to be accepted,

    意思是我們還不夠相似,不能被接受。

  • but we aren't different enough to be loathed.

    但我們還沒有不同到被人厭惡的地步。

  • We are in a perpetually grey zone,

    我們永遠處於灰色地帶。

  • and society isn't quite sure what to do with us.

    和社會是不太確定 什麼與我們做。

  • So they group us by the color of our skin.

    所以他們根據我們的膚色把我們分組。

  • They tell us that we must reject our own heritages,

    他們告訴我們,我們必須拒絕自己的遺產。

  • so we can fit in with the crowd.

    這樣我們就能適應人群。

  • They tell us that our foreignness

    他們告訴我們,我們的外國性

  • is the only identifying characteristic of us.

    是我們唯一的識別特徵。

  • They strip away our identities one by one,

    他們把我們的身份一個個剝掉。

  • until we are foreign, but not quite foreign,

    直到我們成為異類,但又不完全是異類。

  • American but not quite American,

    美國人,但不完全是美國人。

  • individual,

    個人。

  • but only when there are no other people from our native country around.

    但只有當週圍沒有其他祖國人的時候,才會這樣。

  • I wish that I had always had the courage to speak out about these issues.

    我希望自己一直有勇氣說出這些問題。

  • But coming from one culture that avoids confrontation,

    但來自於一種避免對抗的文化。

  • and another that is divided over race,

    和另一個因種族而分裂的。

  • how do I overcome the pressure to keep the peace,

    我如何克服壓力,保持和平。

  • while also staying true to who I am?

    同時也要忠於自己的身份?

  • And as much as I hate to admit it, often times I don't speak out,

    雖然我不願意承認,但很多時候,我不'說出來。

  • because, if I do,

    因為,如果我這樣做,

  • it's at the the risk of being told that I am too sensitive,

    它'是在風險被告知,我太敏感。

  • or that I get offended too easily,

    或者說我太容易得罪人了。

  • or that it's just not worth it.

    或者說,它只是不值得。

  • But I would point, are people willing to admit that?

    但我想指出,大家願意承認嗎?

  • Yes, race issues are controversial.

    是的,種族問題是有爭議的。

  • But that's precisely the reason why we need to talk about them.

    但這正是我們需要談論它們的原因。

  • I just turned eighteen,

    我剛滿18歲

  • and there are still so many things that I don't know about the world.

    和還有很多事情,我不知道的世界'。

  • But what I do know is that it's hard to admit

    但我知道的是,這很難承認

  • that you might be part of the problem,

    你可能是問題的一部分。

  • that, all of us might be part of the problem.

    那,我們所有人都可能是問題的一部分。

  • So, instead of giving you a step-by-step guide

    所以,與其說是給你一步步的指導,不如說是給你一步步的指導。

  • on how to not be racist towards Asians,

    關於如何不對亞洲人有種族歧視。

  • I will let you decide what to take from this talk.

    我將讓你決定從這次談話中得到什麼。

  • All I can do,

    我所能做的。

  • is share my story.

    是分享我的故事。

  • My name is Canwen, my favorite color is purple.

    我叫燦文,我最喜歡的顏色是紫色。

  • And I play the piano, but not so much the violin.

    我還會彈鋼琴,但不太會拉小提琴。

  • I have two incredibly supportive, hardworking parents,

    我有兩個非常支持我的、勤勞的父母。

  • and one very awesome ten-year-old brother.

    還有一個非常厲害的十歲弟弟。

  • I love calculus more than anything,

    我愛微積分勝過一切。

  • despise eating rice, and I'm a horrendous driver.

    鄙視吃米飯,我'是個可怕的司機。

  • But most of all, I am proud of who I am.

    但最重要的是,我為自己的身份感到驕傲。

  • A little bit American,

    有點美國人的味道。

  • a little bit Chinese,

    有一點中國特色。

  • and a whole lot of both.

    和一大堆兩者都有。

  • Thank you.

    謝謝你了

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

My name is Canwen, and I play both the piano and the violin.

我叫坎文,我既會彈鋼琴又會拉小提琴。

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B1 中級 中文 美國腔 種族 亞洲人 白色 美國人 身份 主義

【TEDx】Canwen Xu:我不是你刻板印象中的亞洲人 (I Am Not Your Asian Stereotype | Canwen Xu | TEDxBoise)

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    林靜如 發佈於 2017 年 04 月 07 日
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