I think it starts next week, right?

是下個禮拜，對嗎？

Yeah, love is in the air.

是啊，空氣中瀰漫著愛

(applause) Yeah, think about it.

(掌聲) 是啊，想想

Love is literally in the air, because everyone uses their mobile devices to

愛意確實瀰漫在空氣中，因為大家都在行動裝置上

find dates, so at any, moment there are millions of dirty messages and

找對象，所以不管任何時候都有上百萬條充滿挑逗的訊息

sexy pictures flying through the air, right past our faces.

以及性感照片在空中穿梭，就在我們眼前

It's disgusting, it's what it is.

噁心，就是這樣

How many of you use dating apps?

你們有多少人在使用交友軟體的？

(applause) All right, some proud,

(掌聲) 好，有些人滿自豪的

some not going to raise your hand.

有些不願意舉手

(laugh) Been a long time since

(笑聲) 我已經好一段時間

I've had to date.

沒有約會了

But back then, a dating app was when you took someone out for

過去，交友軟體是讓你可以帶個人出去

an appetizer because you couldn't afford the entire entrée.

吃個開胃菜，因為你付不起前菜的錢

But now there's all sorts of dating apps.

而現在，有各式各樣的交友軟體

There's a popular one called Bumble.

這是其中一個很受歡迎的交友軟體叫 Bumble (搞砸)

And it is free.

而且免費

You know Bumble.

你們知道 Bumble 吧

Yeah. (applause)

耶 ..... (掌聲)

It is free and

這個不用花錢

encourages women to make the first move, which I fully support.

而且鼓勵女生採取主動，我完全支持這個作法

Back when I was dating, it was pretty much always the woman making the first move.

當我還有在約會的時候，幾乎都是由女生採取主動的

(laugh) It's a great idea,

(笑聲) 這真的是個很棒的想法

because they wanna empower women, and

因為這讓女性擁有主導權

make sure they feel comfortable, and they say the best quality people are on bumble.

並確保使用的女性感覺舒服，而且據說最棒的人都在 Bumble

And I've always said that I have the best quality people in my audience, and

我也一直認為我的觀眾都是最棒的

it turns out.

事實上

(applause) Yes, yes.

(掌聲) 是吧，是吧

(applause) Well, it turns out both are true.

(掌聲) 好，事實證明這都是真的

Because a lot of you have bumble profiles, and I wanna ask you about them.

因為在你們當中有許多人在 Bumble 上有帳號，而我有些問題要問問你們

Sarah Isley is here.

莎拉艾思莉

Where's Sarah Isley?

莎拉艾思莉在哪？

Hi.

嗨

(applause How are you doing?

(掌聲) 妳好嗎？

Hi, Ellen. (laugh)

嗨，艾倫

Hi, Sarah.

嗨，莎拉

How are you doing?

妳好嗎？

Are you on a date?

妳最近有在約會嗎？

Are you with somebody?

有跟什麼人交往中嗎？

(laugh) No, unfortunately.

(笑聲) 沒有耶，很不幸

This will be a great first date.

這將會是非常棒的第一次約會

Yeah, it wouldn't be a great first date.

是吼，這不會是很棒的第一次約會哦

I think. Everybody

我想，各位

should keep that in mind out there.

坐在那的各位請記住這一點

(laugh) Let's look at your Bumble

(笑聲) 我們來看看妳的 Bumble

profile, okay?

資料，可以嗎？

Good. All right.

好，好吧

(laugh) Now, how's that workout for you so far?

(笑聲) 到目前為止妳的進展如何？

It's really not too well yet.

並不大好耶

Well. Okay.

哦，好吧

You know why?

妳知道原因嗎？

I'll tell you.

讓我告訴妳

I'm gonna giving you some advice, you kind of, are hiding your face on a (laugh).

我要給你一些建議，妳有點，把妳的臉藏著了 (笑聲)

There's one that's not on here but you were hiding your face with a dog,

有一張不在這上面的相片是妳用狗狗遮著臉

you're hiding your face with a cat, and you're covering your face and

妳用貓遮著臉，妳蓋住了臉

making your eye ball look gigantic.

妳的眼睛看起來超級大

Then obviously this is a horse,

(笑聲) 另外這張很明顯的有隻馬

you're on a horse there.

這張妳在騎在馬上

So maybe you just needed one good picture of yourself.

所以妳需要的是一張妳自己的漂亮相片

Okay, okay.

好吧，好吧

Yeah, I'll try it.

我會試試

Yeah. At least you use your profile in a very

嗯，還好妳的資料中有一個

intriguing way because down at the bottom you have two truths and a lie.

吸睛的東西，在這下面妳列了跟妳有關的真實與謊言

And I'm going to try to guess right now what it is cuz I like things like this.

我要來猜猜看，因為我還滿愛玩這個的

So, one, I have a tattoo of a horse.

好，第一個，我有一個馬的紋身

Two, I've been swimming with sharks.

第二，我和鯊魚一起遊過泳

Three, I can say the alphabet backwards.

第三，我可以倒著念出英文字母

I think... well, I don't think you have a tattoo of a horse.

我猜，我不認為妳會有馬的紋身

You do?

妳真的有？

I do.

我有

Then my second choice was going to be swimming with sharks.

那我的第二個選項是和鯊魚一起游泳

No. I've done that too.

我真的有

I'm very adventurous.

我非常有冒險精神

(laugh) My third choice was going to be.

(笑聲) 我的第三個選擇是....

Good effort.

做得好

It's a great conversation starter, right?

這是展開對話的好方法，是吧？

It is, it is.

是啊，是啊

I always wanted to talk to you, so it's working.

我一直好想和你說話，所以，這真的有效

(laugh) It is. Yeah.

(笑聲) 是啊

That's

這...

Not really working working,

不是真的有效的有效啦

cuz I'm married. Right.

因為我已經結婚了

You're right, you're right.

好吧，是啊

But I see what you mean.

但我知道你的意思

So, you cannot... just try it, you've never tried to do the alphabet backwards.

所以，妳不能，就試試吧，妳從沒有試過倒著唸出英文字母

You said you were adventurous, try to do it backwards right now.

妳說妳有冒險精神的，試著現在倒著唸唸看

- Okay. Um.. Z, X.. Z, Y - All right. Nevermind.

-好， Z、 X.. Z、 Y - 好吧，算了

We don't have that kind of time.

我們沒有那麼多時間

I've got people on the show that I have to talk to.

我還有其他來賓要聊聊

Okay.

好的

Well, good luck to you and

祝妳好運

you got some camera times so maybe people would go to your profile now and they.

妳上鏡頭了，所以現在可能會有人去看看妳的個人資料

Maybe we could do a profile pic later.

或許等等我們可以一起拍個檔案照片

Yeah, no.

是啊，不要

I will. I'll do that for sure.

我絕對會跟你拍的

Teerica Patterson, hi did I say that right?

蒂亞里卡·帕特森，嗨，我唸對了嗎？

Terick. Teerika it's Erika but

蒂莉卡。這原本是埃莉卡

then you added a T in the front of it.

妳加了個蒂在前面

Fancy .

花俏吧

Yeah.

是啊

- It's fancy. Teerika - Yeah.

- 花俏欸，蒂莉卡 - 對呀

All right. Let's take a look at your profile, okay?

我們來看看妳的檔案

Here you are here.

這就是了

Now, first of all.

首先呢

Ooh, ooh. They like that.

哦，哦，大家喜歡耶

That's good.

很好

Why did you decide to join Bumble?

妳當初怎麼會加入 Bumble 的？

Well, my friend was telling me about all the hot,

嗯，我朋友說所有性感

white successful guys that are on the site.

成功的白種男性都在那個網站上

She thinks I should start dating white guys.

她覺得我應該要跟白種男人交往

She says give them a shot.

她叫我試試看

- And? - There are so

-然後呢？ - 是有

many successful hot white guys on that site. She was right.

很多成功性感的白種男人在那個網站上，這個她說對了

Have you met any of the men that now? No?

那妳有認識任何那樣的男人了嗎？沒有嗎？

- I couldn't do it... I couldn't do it, I pick a black guy when I got on there. - No?

- 我沒辦法，我在網站上還是挑了個黑人 - 不行嗎？

Yeah okay.

好吧

Well, let me, did you take this with your webcam?

讓我們看看，妳用網路攝影機拍的這張相片嗎？

Is that how you took the picture?

妳都是這樣拍照的嗎？

- Yes, I did. - Okay, well,

- 我是 -好吧

I'm not sure you know how to put a picture up either, because there's this one, and

我不確定妳知不知道該怎麼放相片在網站上，因為這裡有一張

then here's one that's entirely too close.

還有這一張真的太近了

I don't know,

我不知道

I mean, this is like to examine your pores, or something like that.

我是說，這張像是要來檢查妳的毛孔的，或是這一類的

And then you have one that's a full shot, but look what happened, there you're-

還有這張妳的全身照，但是，看看發生了什麼是，在這

You're sideways.

妳被放倒了

That's kinda weird, don't you think?

這樣怪怪的吧，妳不覺得嗎？

I couldn't fix it.

我不知道怎麼弄

I know, but you still put it up.

我了解，但妳還是把它放上去了

Well.

嗯

What do you do?

妳的工作是？

I am a relationship coach.

我是感情諮商師

(laugh) (applause)

(笑聲) (掌聲)

So you're helping other people and

所以妳幫助別人建立關係

you can't find somebody yourself.

卻沒辦法幫自己找個男人

They need me to help them to make their relationships better.

他們需要我幫助他們改善關係

Right. Maybe you should split away them up so

是啊，也許妳應該分開他們

you could be with the guy.

妳就能找到男人了

(laugh) Or girl.

(笑聲) 或者女孩

Yeah, maybe figure out who a good guy is and then say that y'all aren't right

或者找到一個好的男人，然後告訴他們

for each other, and then you. - No, I wouldn't do that.

他們不應該在一起，然後妳... - 不行啦，我不會那麼做的

No? All right. You're more ethical than I am.

不要，好吧，妳比我有道德多了

All right.

好吧

Where is Chris Romo?

克莉絲羅莫在哪？

- Hi. - Hi.

- 嗨 - 嗨

Hi Kris, how are you?

嗨，克莉絲，妳好嗎？

I'm well. How are you?

我很好，妳呢？

I'm fantastic.

我超棒的

So here's your Bumble profile, let's take a look at this.

這是妳的 Bumble 檔案，讓我們來看一下

And you start out saying I'm easy.

妳在一開頭就說妳很隨便

And what is that?

這是怎麼回事？

My God, there's such a-

天啊，那真是太...

I mean, what do you mean by that?

我是說，妳真正的意思是什麼？

I should have said it's easy, not I'm easy.

我應該說這很容易，不是我

I guess. - Well

- 我想 - 好吧

I guess.

我猜

Yeah, but then you posted this, so it kinda...

是的，但是妳又放了這個，這有點**** ****

My God.

我的天啊

I mean have you gotten many responses to your profile?

有很多人回應妳的個人資料了嗎？

Ah. A lot.

阿，可多著

(laugh) I don't, I don't.

(笑聲) 我不是，我不是

All right, Teerica and Sarah, pay attention to what you should be putting on

好吧，埃莉卡和莎拉，看看妳們該放些什麼

your (laugh)

在妳們的 (笑聲)

I'm easy and wear a **** t-shirt.

我很隨便而且我穿了一件 **** T恤

(laugh) I thought you would like,

(笑聲) 我猜妳們在比

who **** it better?

誰是比較好的 ****

That would have been better.

那樣好像比較好

Yeah, all right.

是啊

Well, thank you for talking to me and hopefully all of you find love and

好的，謝謝妳們的參與並且希望妳們找到真愛

I would like to spread love right now with the dance.

我要用跳舞來散播愛意